Hey fellas! While we’re talking about the evils of the Friend Zone and possible legal sanctions against the women who so often and so maliciously put us there — and while the women are distracted by that picture of Scrooge McDuck above — I’d like to warn you of another kind of Friend Zone you need to be wary of: the “Repair Friend” Zone.
I learned of this danger from none other than Warren Farrell himself, in the pages of his book Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say (which amazingly does not have the subtitle “But It’s Not Like Angry Dudes On The Internet Are Going to Shut Up Any Time Soon”).
Here’s how old Warren explains it, perhaps exaggerating the innocence of the wily female Repair-Friend Zoners:
Single moms who rely on male friends for repairs — “he’s just a repair friend” — are often unaware that the man really isn’t sacrificing his Sunday afternoon in exchange for a Sunday night dinner. The truth is, if he’s making that type of sacrifice, it’s usually because he’s interested in her.
That’s right, ladies! Men never actually want to be just friends with you. Never. And when they act friendly, it’s just because they want to [insert weird creepy Warren Farrellesque euphemism for sex here]. Only instead of making a move on you they’d rather make a move on your car, and just sort of hope you’ll get the hint.
I’ve seen many single moms who have men who they claim are “just friends” work on their cars, do repairs, help them move. They think nothing of it. (Which says it all.) When she starts dating someone seriously, the “repair friend” feels hurt and her new boyfriend feels suspicious. And Mom feels caught between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.
Is Farrell making some sort of awkward boner joke here?
Anyway, for Farrell, this is somehow all the fault of women, and feminism, or misandry, or something.
This attitude rests on a deeper foundation. Just as women who are poor turn to the government as a substitute husband (in the form of welfare and AFDC payments), so women without husbands often unconsciously turn to substitute husbands, such as dads, “repair friends,”and male neighbors.
So, fellas, be careful out there. One moment you’ll be chatting casually over the fence with the former Mrs. Jones, and the next thing you know you’ll be in her basement buried deep in her washing machine trying to fix, I dunno, whatever is inside of washing machines that might need fixing, I’m not really very mechanical.
Come to think of it a female friend of mine had me change a light bulb the other day that she couldn’t reach. Granted, I don’t want to have sex with her, and also she’s fixed my bike on several occasions and sometimes brings me cake, but, still, I think I may have just been Light Bulb Friend Zoned.
Okay, somehow I read budmin’s “sexual blackmail” thing as “sexual assault”, which I dont know if he condones it but given his track record he might…
But budmin, you are definitely acting like you condone sexual blackmail (well blackmail the wrong word? Manipulation? idk). People can only read you through your words. Your words are condoning it. So… stop condoning it and people will stop saying you condone it.
@Cassandrasays
Ah. Okay, somewhat relieved. Still with you on it’s creepy, was just totally ‘bwuh…!’ at first.
Also this is one of the few times I’m glad that some of the older commenters aren’t here much anymore, because I remember the last time the subject of lolicon came up and it turned out that a lot of people did see it as a harmless outlet. I’m not going to get into that argument again, and I don’t want to, I’m just glad not to have to worry that this conversation might go in that direction.
“Either that, or a solid gold statue in the town square, dedicated to my valour. *practices a heroic pose*”
::dies::
You are right Bud. Calling women who accept a favor from a man without paying him parasites does indeed bother me. It is a horrible thing to say. It tells me everything I need to know about you. I ascribe to the Maya Angelou quote. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
I love it when the trolls are all YOU CAN’T JUDGE ME BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION and then they pretty much proceed to write I AM A HUGE CREEP on their foreheads with a sharpie.
Whoot! Big roll of thunder just then. Hope the power doesn’t go out.
Don’t you know? Women force men to pay so much child support that all they can afford to sleep on are beds made of straw.
Cassandra – and of course the same trolls are all “You’re hairy-legged feminazis who are too ugly to get a man!” 😀
Neigh, say it isn’t so!
That one always amuses me because no, I’m not the evil woman stereotype that anti-feminists are afraid of, I’m the evil woman stereotype that PUAs are afraid of, except that at nearly 40 I still haven’t “hit the wall” or melted into a puddle of despair. Mwahhahah, and so on.
(I’m practicing my evil cackle for when I do eventually turn into a witch, as all ladies apparently do when the wrinkles appear.)
@Cassandrasays
I have perfected my evil cackle. And I’m only eighteen! XD
Every time I try to cackle I end up giving up because it makes my throat hurt.
I keep trying my evil cackle, but it sounds more like I’m laying eggs. 🙁
Every time I try to cackle I end up giving up because it makes me sound like the way I used to cough when I smoked too much weed.
I cannot cackle… but I do have the minion giggle down to a tee!
@Cassandrasays
Ow 🙁 How will you be a misandrist like this?
(OT: but I should go to bed…why do I always end up procrastinating sleep? Sleep is good!)
“Minion giggle” LOL!
::preens:: Ha, Marie, I got thirteen hours’ sleep on Friday night. ‘Course that meant going to bed ridiculously early, and it was because I was absolutely stuffed, but boy was it good.
Plus it meant more time at Home with the Mister, and that’s always good.
Can’t I just snicker scornfully instead? I have the snickering down pretty well.
@kittehs
::envy:: I got more sleep than usual this weekend, but nothing I wanted to do. Was feeling kinda sick, but not sick enough I had to be resting all day, so felt like a bust. At least my new computer is mostly set up…
@cassandrasays
I totally approve of scornful snickers.
OH NOOOOO!!!
Seriously, there is a word for men who think a woman’s pimary goal should be making men horny, and therefore consider “you don’t make men horny!” to be a cutting insult. It rhymes with “smisogynist.”
…
It’s misogynist.
It’s also kind of funny when people get all “I bet you’re really ugly!” at people who they only know via internet comments. How much is that really going to sting when you know that the person doesn’t even know what you look like?
I read that as scornful knickers.
WANT.
I think that MRAs would see the knickers with “Princess” and a sparkly crown on them as scornful knickers.