Hey fellas! While we’re talking about the evils of the Friend Zone and possible legal sanctions against the women who so often and so maliciously put us there — and while the women are distracted by that picture of Scrooge McDuck above — I’d like to warn you of another kind of Friend Zone you need to be wary of: the “Repair Friend” Zone.
I learned of this danger from none other than Warren Farrell himself, in the pages of his book Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say (which amazingly does not have the subtitle “But It’s Not Like Angry Dudes On The Internet Are Going to Shut Up Any Time Soon”).
Here’s how old Warren explains it, perhaps exaggerating the innocence of the wily female Repair-Friend Zoners:
Single moms who rely on male friends for repairs — “he’s just a repair friend” — are often unaware that the man really isn’t sacrificing his Sunday afternoon in exchange for a Sunday night dinner. The truth is, if he’s making that type of sacrifice, it’s usually because he’s interested in her.
That’s right, ladies! Men never actually want to be just friends with you. Never. And when they act friendly, it’s just because they want to [insert weird creepy Warren Farrellesque euphemism for sex here]. Only instead of making a move on you they’d rather make a move on your car, and just sort of hope you’ll get the hint.
I’ve seen many single moms who have men who they claim are “just friends” work on their cars, do repairs, help them move. They think nothing of it. (Which says it all.) When she starts dating someone seriously, the “repair friend” feels hurt and her new boyfriend feels suspicious. And Mom feels caught between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.
Is Farrell making some sort of awkward boner joke here?
Anyway, for Farrell, this is somehow all the fault of women, and feminism, or misandry, or something.
This attitude rests on a deeper foundation. Just as women who are poor turn to the government as a substitute husband (in the form of welfare and AFDC payments), so women without husbands often unconsciously turn to substitute husbands, such as dads, “repair friends,”and male neighbors.
So, fellas, be careful out there. One moment you’ll be chatting casually over the fence with the former Mrs. Jones, and the next thing you know you’ll be in her basement buried deep in her washing machine trying to fix, I dunno, whatever is inside of washing machines that might need fixing, I’m not really very mechanical.
Come to think of it a female friend of mine had me change a light bulb the other day that she couldn’t reach. Granted, I don’t want to have sex with her, and also she’s fixed my bike on several occasions and sometimes brings me cake, but, still, I think I may have just been Light Bulb Friend Zoned.
Also, i think that’s the most honest budmin’s been with us…
Because it’s totally women’s responsibility to save men from themselves (which is why we should all wear burkas, ladies, because the poor dears just can’t help it)!
And when some entitled fuckwad douchecanoe (Oopsie! Silly, “vile” little me!) when some “poor chap” is infatuated with a woman, the most important thing in the world (nay, in the very universe!) is to avoid accidentally leading him on and crushing his precious, delicate little feefees. After all, she only needs to wave an embroidered hankie at him and he’ll nobly go off and never again darken her doorway (especially if he’s the kind of prime specimen of ALPHA DOG !!!!!1!!!11elebenty!!! manliness who hangs around emergency shelters shopping for a sugar mama).
I call bullshit on the whole steaming pile, dearie. Go sit on your olive branch and clutch your pearls elsewhere Minnieboo, nobody here is buying.
@Aaliyah
Yeah, he’s like “it’s so irrational of you to hate a rape-and-incest apologist who thinks date rape doesn’t exist because women are open to exploring sexual POSSIBILITIES dammit!
@Budmin
A confirmation bias means you take every lived experience to show you you’re right, even when you’re not because your views are warped by your misogyny. Like how you’re taking “women accept favors” to “women are parasites”. In short, it’s not a good thing.
@hellkell okay, I shouldn’t be proud of my conformation bias but at least saying it’s better then saying that I’m lying about being a $12 an hour security guard for 4 years. lmfao.. I was also a Clinton era Marine from 1996-2000 which is why they gave me the dumb job in the fist place.
Cool story, bro.
You may be a Marine, but I am an astronaut who also drag races on the side. hellkell is a world-renowned nuclear physicist and French chef. David Futrelle is made entirely out of cats.
You were saying?
“Men would staidly prowl the streets looking for any chick pushing a stroller ”
Staid: Characterized by sedate dignity and often a strait-laced sense of propriety; sober.
Total contradiction of the idea of prowling the streets harassing women (who are, btw, not the young of any sort of fowl).
Gobshite troll hates the language almost as much as he hates women.
Hey, come on. Maybe they got dressed up in a suit from ye olde days and put on a nice bowler hat before prowling around after the ladies with the strollers. They then greeted the ladies with the words “good day, my dear lady, could I perchance share in your government-dispensed bounty?”
Steampunkin’?
Oh, and dipshit troll? I have no interest in any man ‘cept one. If a man takes it into his head to fancy me or go into a decline or start doing favours because he thinks it’s going to get him somewhere, he’s kidding himself, and it’s HIS problem, not mine. He’s not getting any encouragement and if he wants to fantasise that he is, that’s all it is – his fantasy. Not my job to read his mind, not my job to tell him to grow up and actually ask if he’s interested, and not my job to wrap his ego in cotton wool – because if I realised he was interested, I’d be anything from repelled to horrified and I’d want him OUT of my life. That’s not even a comment on his personality, simply that the idea of someone having those thoughts about me is gross. It doesn’t seem to occur to you that there’s a predatory element in all you’re blatherings, and that being pursued by someone you are Not. Interested. In. can be unpleasant or downright scary. Sure, one might feel sorry for him if a) he makes his feelings known and b) you like him, but that doesn’t change anything: there is no obligation on the woman to put out, or be anything but civil (as long as he isn’t ignoring boundaries). We don’t owe you lot sex, we don’t owe you ego-stroking, we don’t want to be on your goddamn pedestal. If you misogynists can’t treat us as human beings then fucking well GYOW and be done with it, you won’t be missed.
Okay, not a bowler hat, but that makes me think of this and admittedly that has something going for it …
I’m an expert in Gorilla Warfare, and became a marine twice. I know government people.
I’m an expert in Cat Warfare.
I’ve never won, but I’m an expert at it.
bun-ch
BUN-CH
BUN-CH
Budmin hyphenated bunch. Why? Why did he do this?
If he hadn’t made it clear how much of a misogynist ass he is, I’d just feel sorry for him at this point.
Maybe it’s some sort of code?
Vile, random hypens, smells of sock…I think this is 90% of Dr. Pell’s staff, not the doctor himself.
Budmin — are all feminists inherently misandrist?
@budmin:
dafuq is this bullcrap? Srsly, bro. Totes lame.
Women have ZERO responsibility for this. All the responsibility lies with the man to act like an adult, own his feelings, and either be open about them or restrict contact with her until he gets the fuck over his crush.
In short, don’t be a creep. Women owe you nothing but basic courtesy, even if you have a crush on some of them.
@augochlorella _”Budmin hyphenated bunch”
No didn’t that was the all software glitch or a typo.
..the olive branch of peace (I) so firmly hold in my heart.
..they had the loop holes and insensitive (incentive) to exploit domestic violence laws.
that was me,
Augochlorella Is this what you do? spell check people into submission..
Cuz honestly you must have a lot of work 2 do.
@Bob Goblin_Women have ZERO responsibility for this
“With great power comes great responsibility” teehee..
I’m reading this blog with my computer science boyfriend right now, and I think you just gave him an aneurism.
How was this typo even made? The dash key is so far away from both “n” and “c”. Are you typing with your dick?
I normally don’t make fun of people for typos, but considering I found five crimes against the English language in your last post alone, I’ll make an exception for you.
Also, I think I found another one of your written masterpieces.
Budmin — Y U IGNORE ME?!?!?
Serious question! Do you think all feminists are misandrist? Not like I’m asking you to explain special relativity or something!
Behold the amazing power of the vagina! It makes men do awful things to the people it’s attached to, which those people should prevent by…not walking around being all vagina-having?
“Tee hee”?
I call Mr 90%.
Except it’s the men who are in power, since they can just choose to not do nice things for women only to get laid. The woman has no power in that, since she can’t just tell every dude to quit being her friend or even being nice forever just in case.
“teehee?”
I’m definitely smelling old laundry.