Hey fellas! While we’re talking about the evils of the Friend Zone and possible legal sanctions against the women who so often and so maliciously put us there — and while the women are distracted by that picture of Scrooge McDuck above — I’d like to warn you of another kind of Friend Zone you need to be wary of: the “Repair Friend” Zone.
I learned of this danger from none other than Warren Farrell himself, in the pages of his book Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say (which amazingly does not have the subtitle “But It’s Not Like Angry Dudes On The Internet Are Going to Shut Up Any Time Soon”).
Here’s how old Warren explains it, perhaps exaggerating the innocence of the wily female Repair-Friend Zoners:
Single moms who rely on male friends for repairs — “he’s just a repair friend” — are often unaware that the man really isn’t sacrificing his Sunday afternoon in exchange for a Sunday night dinner. The truth is, if he’s making that type of sacrifice, it’s usually because he’s interested in her.
That’s right, ladies! Men never actually want to be just friends with you. Never. And when they act friendly, it’s just because they want to [insert weird creepy Warren Farrellesque euphemism for sex here]. Only instead of making a move on you they’d rather make a move on your car, and just sort of hope you’ll get the hint.
I’ve seen many single moms who have men who they claim are “just friends” work on their cars, do repairs, help them move. They think nothing of it. (Which says it all.) When she starts dating someone seriously, the “repair friend” feels hurt and her new boyfriend feels suspicious. And Mom feels caught between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.
Is Farrell making some sort of awkward boner joke here?
Anyway, for Farrell, this is somehow all the fault of women, and feminism, or misandry, or something.
This attitude rests on a deeper foundation. Just as women who are poor turn to the government as a substitute husband (in the form of welfare and AFDC payments), so women without husbands often unconsciously turn to substitute husbands, such as dads, “repair friends,”and male neighbors.
So, fellas, be careful out there. One moment you’ll be chatting casually over the fence with the former Mrs. Jones, and the next thing you know you’ll be in her basement buried deep in her washing machine trying to fix, I dunno, whatever is inside of washing machines that might need fixing, I’m not really very mechanical.
Come to think of it a female friend of mine had me change a light bulb the other day that she couldn’t reach. Granted, I don’t want to have sex with her, and also she’s fixed my bike on several occasions and sometimes brings me cake, but, still, I think I may have just been Light Bulb Friend Zoned.
Well, he started sliding pretty rapidly from ‘mildly annoying’ to ‘raging asshole’ and I kinda lost my patience. Also, he accused me of using “foul language” in a way that sounded pretty overwrought and uptight, and, sadly, I fell to the bait…
I feel shame.
(okay, not really)
When they get shirty about bad language that just makes me want to swear even more. Childish, I know, but amusing nonetheless.
Marie, thank you for loving my name. Fun fact=”grumpy cat is a girl” returns 1,730,000 Google hits. “He’s just a repair friend?” Google says no.
@Cassandrasays
Seconding. Sadly, I’ve got work on filtering my swearing, since I’m going to be moving (part time) into a house with a bunch of little kids…
Maybe I should go back and reread my posts, but I don’t remember cursing before that. Don’t get me wrong, I have a world class pottymouth (and proud thereof!), but I was being really restrained (at least I thought).
@ CassandraSays
Same here. It just seems so ridiculous to me. It’s like they’re saying, “Yes, I’m a bigot, but she said ‘hell!'”
@Gillyrosebee
I didn’t notice you cursing either, but I tend not to react much to it.
Well, since we’re supposed to be delicate flowers of feminininininininininty, I suppose it’s more of a shock when we use naughty words.
I know I, for one, am a delicate flower of fucking femininity… XD
Wasn’t there a post by David maybe a few months ago, where an MRA called out a woman for swearing, and then called her the c-word like five times?
@Marie Fucking-A, right?
Given Budtwit’s incompetence with English, could he have meant fowl language?
http://youtu.be/Aq-be7Y_yyY
@gillyrosebee
I know XD Sadly I’m fucking tired, and have to go to my fucking bed, so goodnight to all you fucking wonderful manboobzers.
/sowwyz, I really do have to go to bed, I just also have to bait the fucking troll while I leave.
Fucking good night, Maria. Have some fucking awesome dreams.
To help you fucking sleep, Maria.
Have a great fucking night, Marie!
Whoops, Marie, not Maria. Sorry.
CAT POWER
Maddie just sat and gave Mum THE LOOK until she got what she wanted (ie. the chair Mum was sitting in).
Oh my.
Okay, lunchtime and I need to do some knitting if I’m going to get this cap finished for tomorrow, so catch yez later if anyone’s still awake. Or if the rest of the Aussie/NZ contingent shows up, of course. 🙂
Pseudo-necromancy engaged!
Because yes, I was thinking Dr. Pell. But then I saw this — http://fb.me/18bgKCIV9
And decided Dr. Pell works at the Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls…what with the abused the inmates, I mean patients, he’d love it.
Also, “For being so brash, clever, and unapologetic, Emilie Autumn is often called “a misandrist”(a word that curiously does not exist in the dictionary)” talk about when worlds collide!
I’m starting to think they’re putting these concepts out there deliberately to humiliate women into coming onto their non-interested male friends or something by suggesting that any man who is ever nice to you just wants to have sex with you.
Argh, speaking of asylums and abuse, I heard another snippet of charming about that douchecanoe Freud. Prince Phillip’s mother, Princess Alice, was imprisoned in Bellevue (sp?) in Switzerland for 2/12 years in the post-WWI years. That scumbag Freud’s latest quack doctor friend had the idea that the way to “cure” women of mental problems was to bring on menopause by dosing their ovaries with x-rays. They did this to the princess, and as the doco said, there’s no suggestion that they bothered with things like “knowledge” or “consent”.
Freud’s quack friend also had some idea about testicular transplants to “cure” men of homosexuality.
I don’t give a damn if psychotherapy was in its infancy: Freud was a piece of shit who gravitated to other pieces of shit, like the one earlier who thought that women could be cured of sexual problems by nasal operations. I kid you not.
That’s exactly the sort of abuse “Dr” Pell would love.
budmin: Telling men not to be human dish rags is not misogyny, it’s self preservation.
So a guy who does a favor for a woman (ore even a few) and doesn’t get some sexytime is in mortal peril*?
Have you spoken with GGG about the need for a gov’t program to make sure all men get laid on a basis in keeping with their needs?
Sadly enough, sex still offers *alot[sic] of men the external validation they need to justify their existence.
Which has fuck all to do either what Farrel was saying, or with your idea that men are in dire peril from a lack of sex for being handymen.
The sooner men stop pedestalizing these women the better.
I agree. And the sooner you stop blaming women for men doing stupid shit like putting them on pedestals (again, a subject which has fuck all to do with the topic) the better. It would also be nice if some men stopped thinking women are obliged to have sex, esp. when they didn’t communicate to the women that sex was being considered; much less expected.
Sorry but Look at the contemp[sic] these metaphorical “Nice Guys” provoke. It makes you wonder if maybe accepting favors from these dudes makes women feel low.
Wonder no more. It’s the disgust a rational person feels when a manipulative asshole is about. It’s a normal reaction, a perfectly understandable reaction.
So you think a dude who does things for others is doing them “for free”** if he doesn’t get sex out of it? You think men are so venal that’s all they think about?
No, you don’t really. Because I’ll wager, in other contexts (where it will let you bash women; for other reasons), you will wax poetic about the noble and selfless qualities of male species.
So what you think is a dude who is doing something manipulative to get sex, deserves to get the sex. You think a woman who praises a man, is obliged to give him sex, if that praise gave him happy pants.
I’d guess it’s because she’s beating your arguments to splinters and you are trying to salve your ego by using the insulting idea that she engages in the things being talked about by you (and Farrel) which lets you keep your deluded worldview, ignore that you are getting spanked and abuse a woman, while (you hope) deflecting attention from what an asshole your idiotic claims show you to be.
And I’m not really wondering about it at all.
*It is, after all, self preservation we are talking about.
** It’s not really, “pro bono” if he expects to get something out of it.
Fade: Budmin, i’m having a really hard time finding your point, if such a thing exists.
I can sum up: Budmin thinks women suck. That’s all his position really boils down to.
Aww, he’s ripping off the rest of the MRM. A poorly reasoned “women-suck” argument is so overdone…
@Augochlorella
How calming 😀
@Argenti Aertheri
Yeah, Emilie Autumn is the awesomest. I didn’t check out more of her music until recently, and but when I did she became my totally (fucking!) favorite artist. And my mom was all ‘omg who is this Emilie person you’re talking about’ XD.