Hey fellas! While we’re talking about the evils of the Friend Zone and possible legal sanctions against the women who so often and so maliciously put us there — and while the women are distracted by that picture of Scrooge McDuck above — I’d like to warn you of another kind of Friend Zone you need to be wary of: the “Repair Friend” Zone.
I learned of this danger from none other than Warren Farrell himself, in the pages of his book Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say (which amazingly does not have the subtitle “But It’s Not Like Angry Dudes On The Internet Are Going to Shut Up Any Time Soon”).
Here’s how old Warren explains it, perhaps exaggerating the innocence of the wily female Repair-Friend Zoners:
Single moms who rely on male friends for repairs — “he’s just a repair friend” — are often unaware that the man really isn’t sacrificing his Sunday afternoon in exchange for a Sunday night dinner. The truth is, if he’s making that type of sacrifice, it’s usually because he’s interested in her.
That’s right, ladies! Men never actually want to be just friends with you. Never. And when they act friendly, it’s just because they want to [insert weird creepy Warren Farrellesque euphemism for sex here]. Only instead of making a move on you they’d rather make a move on your car, and just sort of hope you’ll get the hint.
I’ve seen many single moms who have men who they claim are “just friends” work on their cars, do repairs, help them move. They think nothing of it. (Which says it all.) When she starts dating someone seriously, the “repair friend” feels hurt and her new boyfriend feels suspicious. And Mom feels caught between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.
Is Farrell making some sort of awkward boner joke here?
Anyway, for Farrell, this is somehow all the fault of women, and feminism, or misandry, or something.
This attitude rests on a deeper foundation. Just as women who are poor turn to the government as a substitute husband (in the form of welfare and AFDC payments), so women without husbands often unconsciously turn to substitute husbands, such as dads, “repair friends,”and male neighbors.
So, fellas, be careful out there. One moment you’ll be chatting casually over the fence with the former Mrs. Jones, and the next thing you know you’ll be in her basement buried deep in her washing machine trying to fix, I dunno, whatever is inside of washing machines that might need fixing, I’m not really very mechanical.
Come to think of it a female friend of mine had me change a light bulb the other day that she couldn’t reach. Granted, I don’t want to have sex with her, and also she’s fixed my bike on several occasions and sometimes brings me cake, but, still, I think I may have just been Light Bulb Friend Zoned.
@ Budmin
The thing is, she doesn’t have a car, and isn’t in a financial position to help me out in any similar way. But I dropped her off anyway.
Almost as ridiculous as accusing a stranger on the internet of manipulating their roommate out of rent money.
So as long as people don’t ask for favors beyond a certain threshold, doing favors for people is fine. Okay, I agree. So what’s with the anger towards women who ask for favors and the belittling of men who give them?
@thebewilderness
Seconded. There are times I feel self conscious about friends doing too much for me, but not vice versa. (Mostly a chronic thing. My dad’s gf lets me use her scanner all the time for her pics and I feel weird about it.) But it definitely seems creepy to be keeping score or whatever. idk if this makes any sense, kinda rambly atm.
“I would dream of defining it for you”
Paging Dr. Freud, Dr. Freud to Warren Farrell’s conference room STAT!
Uh-huh, Budmin, just a lowly Socratic. Well, you got the “lowly” part right.
Why am I getting the impression that you’re just a small-minded puke with a horrid worldview who really needs to grow the fuck up?
Just wondering.
Let me guess, you also live by the Socratic paradox? >_>
If you’re bothered by the balance between favours with a friend,
don’t do as many favours. This isn’t rocket science.
If you do offer to do favors, why complain about it ?
What is this “jyeah” that he keeps using? Is that a thing?
@Aaliyah, No, he’s pretty sure that all women are parasites and all men are incapable of reason when faced with a smile and some cleavage. And he’s also pretty certain that men can’t be trusted to make judgements about helping someone once without surrendering their autonomy for ever and always.
But if it helps to feign humility when caught out on his shit, then he’s totally there…
He wants to make it a thing, I suppose. It is internet for I am a kewel d00d.
Also, I am picturing him keeping a detailed spreadsheet of “favors” he’s done for various people that he might be romantically interested in, so that he can make sure he never crosses his magical threshold to dishragdom.
Me? I’m going to keep operating on my commie view of the economy of favors: From each according to their ability, to each according to their need.
I figured it was just that my dictionary was too misandrist, since it doesn’t have a listing for it…
@gillyrosebee
Well, it goes without saying that his hypocrisy is amusing. =P
But I was asking budmin that because he reminded me of another troll who came here a while ago. That troll said that he lives by the Socratic paradox, and when I told him that saying that makes him sound like a pretentious dumbass, he accused me of knowing “everything.”
Kitten Boy sure has been going after Warren Farrel a lot lately. He’s seemed to put more wasted effort into being funny in the article than usual. Chins up David, I’m sure you and your cute little minions on your post will make one of the worlds top 100 thinkers look dummer than all of you at some point. You will teach him a lesson for voicing frustrations of a lot of men who just want to be helpful and hopefully find a loving relationship in the process.
jonatma420 thinks his words have sting. jonatma420 doesn’t realize that saying you think Warren Farrell is “one of the world’s top 100 thinkers” means no one will ever take him seriously.
The whole problem of the alleged evul wommins who take advantage of poor-guys-who-attempt-to-strategically-use-favors-in-order-to-procure-sex-from-them could be solved by assholes not expecting sex in return for favors in the first place.
People shouldn’t take advantage of people (and that statement only applies to situations where someone is, in fact, taking advantage of someone), but you lose a lot of my sympathy for someone taking advantage of your supposed niceness when you were only being nice because you thought being nice entitled you to someone’s body.
Protip: Actual nice people (as opposed to NiceGuyTM’s) do nice stuff for people because they are nice, not because they think it’ll get them laid! Shocking, I know!
So I find it rather odd that NiceGuyTm’s complain so much about how women only go for assholes, because if you’re a NiceGuyTm, congrats! You’re already an asshole!
Warren Farrell is full of shit, sorry. And he’s bigoted against men, too.
Also, “Nice Guys” are not entitled to any kind of intimacy just because they’re “nice” and perhaps helpful. I’d rather stub my toe on the sharp corner of a refrigerator than have to deal with some asshole who thinks that I should love and/or fuck him just because he’s nice to me.
@Argenti Aertheri_”Paging Dr. Freud, Dr. Freud to Warren Farrell’s conference room STAT!”
LMFAO BUUURNED!
@Aaliyah_ That troll said that he lives by the Socratic paradox, and when I told him that saying that makes him sound like a pretentious dumbass, he accused me of knowing “everything.”
That was a pretty hilarious one liner..^5
@Gillyrosebee I got “jeah” from Ryan Lochte, he’s like the coollist dude eva!
@Augochlorella So what’s with the anger towards women who ask for favors and the belittling of men who give them?
A) Because I love Men!
I LOVE THEM LIKE AN ABUSIVE FOOTBALL COACH LUV’s uhm! AND I AINT AFRAID CLUB THEM ABOUT THE HEAD AND SHOULDERS WITH A METAPHORIC SOCK FULL OF VERBAL SOAP BARS TO GET MORE PRODUCTIVITY OUT OF THOSE GOOD FOR NUTHIN’ BASTARDS!
B) That, plus I’m still nursing some trauma from working security a NYC family shelter where I had to do everything from help the female residents juggle which guy they where dating, physically intervene during domestic violence incidents, console lost and dejected losers and Yes I even had to break up with a few dudes at the behest of the often times rude female residents. I mean yeah I’ve seen a LOT of broken men.. but I’m not bitter or nuttin’.
*left eyebrow twitching..
Also, Kitten Boy? LOL
What’s with trolls and the weird nicknames they use for David?
@jonatma
that’s fascinating. Also, Kitten Boy is an insult? David likes kittens and this is horrible (and unmanly!). Can you insult me by calling me Guinea Pig Girl from now on? Because that would be awesome XD Then again, maybe it is okay for girls to like cute things, because we are always so frivolous, amirite?
I’ve seen what makes up a loving relationship to you MRA dipshits, and I’ll pass, thanks.
I like how Jonathon classifies a rape apologist as one of the top 100 thinkers.
Says a lot about him…
So does he think that women owe sex to the entire government? What happens if they turn the government down? Will the government turn into a jilted, angry NiceGovernment(TM) and start writing long online rants about hypergamous constituents?
Doing favors for someone does not magically create a loving relationship. Oh hey, I think I just found the source of the frustration from men who try this. No need to rely on a rape apologist to make your voice heard. You’re welcome.
I’m going to call complete and utter bullshit on Budmin’s security story.
Too much laughter…. can’t breathe… world going dark
Am I the only one who kept expecting him to follow up with “Holla atcha boi!!”