So the Men’s Rightsers over on Reddit are getting worked up over the evils of women “friend zoning” men, and one especially angry fellow by the name of andreipmbcn has a warning for the ladies: if they don’t watch themselves, the men’s rights movement might just rise up and make friend zoning illegal:
What this means is not exactly clear to me. Would women actually be required to have sex with all men who are aggressively “nice” towards them? Who knows. But judging from the dozens of upvotes andre’s comment got, Reddit MRAs like the sound of it.
(Thanks to Cloudiah for pointing me to this lovely comment.)
@Kittehserf Yes we certainly can drop that meme. My apologies.
How many people here have had someone whine because they were told straight up the first time you met them that you weren’t interested in dating at the time? Six months later I went on a date and the dude I told six months prior I wasn’t into dating (at that time) threw a hissy fit. I’m not a restaurant, it aint first come first served. Also, why the hell wouldn’t you have found someone else to date by now if that’s what you wanted to do? Oh right, I’m not like “all those other girls”. Wev.
So… This guy created a whiny thread on r/MensRightsMeta where he says “A lot of really degenerate people seem to have taken an issue with” his comment and expects everyone to agree with him. He is not popular with the “meta” crowd, though it is clear that most of the downvotes came from sources other than r/mr. As “PersianMale” puts it, “This was at +62 before the downvote brigade came along. Clearly the majority of us agree with him.”
But don’t worry, andreipmbcn has figured it all out:
He’s a real law-and-order type, this mister.
Cheer up, emo kid! If these people are over the age of about 17 they should be mocked without mercy.
He thinks downvoting should be illegal too?
So let me get this straight: The +62 vote is a good sign and an indication that the majority of people out there agree with us. So, keep posting. If the trolls downvote, that’s a trolling problem and no indication of disagreement by decent people.
If people agree with you that means you are right? If they disagree that means you are more right?
So the only sign you aren’t right is that people ignore you?
Hell, sometimes she is with a perfectly nice person, but we’re still told she ought to dump him and hook up with the hero. Like in Sleepless in Seattle, the fiance seems cool and nice and funny and into her, but he has allergies, and obviously you can’t actually want to marry someone with allergies, so she has to dump him. (I have allergies too so I take this rather personally.)
Quoted in bold for truth, Gillian! That’s my life entirely. Mercifully I don’t know any NiceGuyTMs, but it’s All Other Men who’re ghosts as far as my romantic or sexual desires are concerned; only one is present and real.
@sonofadiddly – apology accepted with thanks! 🙂
(I get niggly about it ‘cos my hubby wears fedoras, plus I think they’re really nice hats anyway.)
@ kittehserf: off-topic, but I agree. I like fedoras, too (and two of my favorite characters wear them).
I’ve got it! This whole system of exchange would work a lot more effectively with swipe cards. No need for contracts and paper trails and log books. This is the 21st century, people.
We can all just carry around swipe cards to keep track of how many sex points we’re owed, and the computer will sort it all out for us at each repair job.
M Klein – three of mine do, too! (Foyle and Milner in Foyle’s War and Blake in The Doctor Blake Mysteries). Who are the two you mentioned?
Bob Goblin – I just hope the swipe card would work better than the rubbish ones on our public transport here. 😀
So then do you swipe her vag to redeem it?
Ouch!
::crosses legs::
I think it is HILARIOUS that these guys think snagging a woman and having sex with her only to never speak to her again, even if you led her to believe you liked her for more than sex, is fine. Actually it is applauded.
But if a woman so much as bats an eyelash at a man without having sex with him it is a crime.
Amazing.
@Katz: There’s also this weird ending with Sleepless where the first boyfriend seems more or less fine with her dumping him, so I think we ought to understand that he didn’t really love her that much.
Not all relationships are about sex.
Friendzoning is bad because, Imagine this:
Someone loves you, and you are the ONLY thing they want in life. They try to do everything for you and you push them away. You might be single, but reject them and not give a reason.
That doesn’t sound healthy!
Also, it’s not women’s job to make you happy. If you want me but I don’t want you, why do your desires trump mine?
God, your whole comment is so full of entitlement. Women do not exist to meet your needs, dummy.
So, imagine this, John Smith:
Someone loves you. You don’t love them. You may like them, perhaps, or maybe not. But they want, demand, something of you you’re not willing to give. They want to be a bigger part of your life than you want. They may want access to your body when you don’t want theirs at all. You may love someone else. You may not care for relationships at all.
Why should their wanting you trump your not wanting them? Why should your life be taken over by this person (who sounds, frankly, obsessed – and I say that as someone in a very long-lived and close relationship)?
But of course you’re not really talking about a man being obsessed over this way, are you? You’re just demanding women acquiese to whatever dude is doing it.
Why should we get into relationships we don’t want? What the fuck is in it for us to be stuck with someone we don’t love?
Women aren’t things.
My guess is that women should just be honest from the get-go, more straight forward. They are already protected from physical retribution by law and society’s double standards, and can strike men without any reason with impunity.
I am speaking from experience (albiet, a few bad experiences) when I say this; some women want the satisfaction of having power. I wasn’t the most attractive guy, but I certainly wasn’t the least attractive either; but I tried to pursue a romance or two. I get shot down each and every time.
Then one time, a girl decides to take an interest in me, she asks me to go out with her, and I admit, i wasn’t sure what to make of it. However, I decided ‘Let’s see where this goes.’. Sure, it was one date, there was no sex wanted or had.
The next day, after I had figured things wouldn’t work out between me and the girl i went out with and told her as nice as I could, the same girls I had been rejected by suddenly took an interest in me. Nothing about me changed when I went on that date, as far as I knew. They basically went ‘Oh, someone dated him, so he must have something good.’
Arise, thread out of the past through mists of time. The Necromancer is calling!
With claims, unsubstantiated and the need for the Attention Mentulae.
Retribution for what? Are you saying you’re mad that it’s illegal to hit a woman for not being straight forward with you? Never mind how wrong you are that women are protected from violence by law. Never mind how wrong you are about women being allowed to hit men with impunity. That was very, very creepy. Fuck away.
You realize that girls are as human as you are, with inner lives and emotions, and they also have bad dating experiences, can struggle with rejection, be treated poorly and get hurt, right?
No, you probably don’t. I hope you’re a teen or were one recently because that the only somewhat acceptable reason for your adolescent solipsism.
Holy shit, where to start.
What kind of backwards land do you live in? My state’s laws regarding assault don’t actually mention gender, and yet women nevertheless suffer much higher rates of domestic abuse than men.
“Some men want the satisfaction of having power.” Would you deny the truth of that statement, or criticize those men? I want to hear you criticize men who desire political or economic power and tell them they are being bad nasty people.
But oh, it’s different with women, because we’re talking about sexual power here, not political or economic power. Nope, no misogyny in the assumption that female power = sexual power.
You should go to Vegas with those mindreading powers. You could make a killing at the poker tables.