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Men’s Rights Redditor: Watch out ladies, or we’ll make Friend Zoning illegal!

friendzone

So the Men’s Rightsers over on Reddit are getting worked up over the evils of women “friend zoning” men, and one especially angry fellow by the name of andreipmbcn has a warning for the ladies: if they don’t watch themselves, the men’s rights movement might just rise up and make friend zoning illegal:

friendzoneillegal

What this means is not exactly clear to me. Would women actually be required to have sex with all men who are aggressively “nice” towards them? Who knows. But judging from the dozens of upvotes andre’s comment got, Reddit MRAs like the sound of it.

(Thanks to Cloudiah for pointing me to this lovely comment.)

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sonofadiddly
sonofadiddly
7 years ago

@Kittehserf Yes we certainly can drop that meme. My apologies.

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
7 years ago

How many people here have had someone whine because they were told straight up the first time you met them that you weren’t interested in dating at the time? Six months later I went on a date and the dude I told six months prior I wasn’t into dating (at that time) threw a hissy fit. I’m not a restaurant, it aint first come first served. Also, why the hell wouldn’t you have found someone else to date by now if that’s what you wanted to do? Oh right, I’m not like “all those other girls”. Wev.

cloudiah
7 years ago

So… This guy created a whiny thread on r/MensRightsMeta where he says “A lot of really degenerate people seem to have taken an issue with” his comment and expects everyone to agree with him. He is not popular with the “meta” crowd, though it is clear that most of the downvotes came from sources other than r/mr. As “PersianMale” puts it, “This was at +62 before the downvote brigade came along. Clearly the majority of us agree with him.”

But don’t worry, andreipmbcn has figured it all out:

There’s a simple reason for the downvote brigade, and you need to understand the mindset of trolls to see it.

They are scared for their lives.

Trolls don’t “attack” something because it’s wrong or false. They attack it because they believe that, using ridicule, they can destroy it. Here they saw someone state that people who manipulate others with malicious intent should be imprisoned, and that is exactly what trolls are – people who manipulate others with malicious intent. By stating that they should be imprisoned, that there is a growing movement that could do it, and by getting massive upvotes for it, the trolls decided to “rally” in the only way they are capable of and attempt to downvote the post into oblivion. Downvotes they may be, but they are fake.

The +62 vote is a good sign and an indication that the majority of people out there agree with us. So, keep posting. If the trolls downvote, that’s a trolling problem and no indication of disagreement by decent people.

Honestly, I do think we should implement laws against trolling, and give these people the prison time they deserve. It would lead to a much healthier internet and much healthier communities where these creatures live.

He’s a real law-and-order type, this mister.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

One guy even told me what I was doing was “pulling the wings off a beautiful butterfly.”

Cheer up, emo kid! If these people are over the age of about 17 they should be mocked without mercy.

Grumpycatisagirl
Grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

He thinks downvoting should be illegal too?

pecunium
7 years ago

So let me get this straight: The +62 vote is a good sign and an indication that the majority of people out there agree with us. So, keep posting. If the trolls downvote, that’s a trolling problem and no indication of disagreement by decent people.

If people agree with you that means you are right? If they disagree that means you are more right?

So the only sign you aren’t right is that people ignore you?

katz
7 years ago

Yeah, not surprising considering how popular this is as a cultural trope: Women dates/is married to an asshole, nice guy enters the scene, eventually she realizes she ought to dump her current mate for the nice guy.

Actually, the only movie I can think of where the love interest of the hero is already coupled with a NICE (literally) guy, rather than an asshole, is Superman Returns. Superman comes back from a five-year-tour of space and finds Lois living with a boyfriend who seems a perfectly decent type whom she’s happy with. I thought that was really refreshing. I’m sure there must be SOME other movie/TV show/book like that, but I can’t think of any right now.

Hell, sometimes she is with a perfectly nice person, but we’re still told she ought to dump him and hook up with the hero. Like in Sleepless in Seattle, the fiance seems cool and nice and funny and into her, but he has allergies, and obviously you can’t actually want to marry someone with allergies, so she has to dump him. (I have allergies too so I take this rather personally.)

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Or is in the middle of her own life and you really don’t exist for her at all.

Quoted in bold for truth, Gillian! That’s my life entirely. Mercifully I don’t know any NiceGuyTMs, but it’s All Other Men who’re ghosts as far as my romantic or sexual desires are concerned; only one is present and real.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

@sonofadiddly – apology accepted with thanks! 🙂

(I get niggly about it ‘cos my hubby wears fedoras, plus I think they’re really nice hats anyway.)

MKlein
MKlein
7 years ago

@ kittehserf: off-topic, but I agree. I like fedoras, too (and two of my favorite characters wear them).

Bob Goblin
Bob Goblin
7 years ago

I’ve got it! This whole system of exchange would work a lot more effectively with swipe cards. No need for contracts and paper trails and log books. This is the 21st century, people.

We can all just carry around swipe cards to keep track of how many sex points we’re owed, and the computer will sort it all out for us at each repair job.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

M Klein – three of mine do, too! (Foyle and Milner in Foyle’s War and Blake in The Doctor Blake Mysteries). Who are the two you mentioned?

Bob Goblin – I just hope the swipe card would work better than the rubbish ones on our public transport here. 😀

katz
7 years ago

So then do you swipe her vag to redeem it?

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Ouch!

::crosses legs::

booburry
7 years ago

I think it is HILARIOUS that these guys think snagging a woman and having sex with her only to never speak to her again, even if you led her to believe you liked her for more than sex, is fine. Actually it is applauded.

But if a woman so much as bats an eyelash at a man without having sex with him it is a crime.
Amazing.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

@Katz: There’s also this weird ending with Sleepless where the first boyfriend seems more or less fine with her dumping him, so I think we ought to understand that he didn’t really love her that much.

John Smith
John Smith
6 years ago

Not all relationships are about sex.
Friendzoning is bad because, Imagine this:

Someone loves you, and you are the ONLY thing they want in life. They try to do everything for you and you push them away. You might be single, but reject them and not give a reason.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

Someone loves you, and you are the ONLY thing they want in life.

That doesn’t sound healthy!

Also, it’s not women’s job to make you happy. If you want me but I don’t want you, why do your desires trump mine?

God, your whole comment is so full of entitlement. Women do not exist to meet your needs, dummy.

kittehserf
6 years ago

So, imagine this, John Smith:

Someone loves you. You don’t love them. You may like them, perhaps, or maybe not. But they want, demand, something of you you’re not willing to give. They want to be a bigger part of your life than you want. They may want access to your body when you don’t want theirs at all. You may love someone else. You may not care for relationships at all.

Why should their wanting you trump your not wanting them? Why should your life be taken over by this person (who sounds, frankly, obsessed – and I say that as someone in a very long-lived and close relationship)?

But of course you’re not really talking about a man being obsessed over this way, are you? You’re just demanding women acquiese to whatever dude is doing it.

Why should we get into relationships we don’t want? What the fuck is in it for us to be stuck with someone we don’t love?

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Someone loves you, and you are the ONLY thing they want in life

Women aren’t things.

Echobreaker
Echobreaker
5 years ago

My guess is that women should just be honest from the get-go, more straight forward. They are already protected from physical retribution by law and society’s double standards, and can strike men without any reason with impunity.

I am speaking from experience (albiet, a few bad experiences) when I say this; some women want the satisfaction of having power. I wasn’t the most attractive guy, but I certainly wasn’t the least attractive either; but I tried to pursue a romance or two. I get shot down each and every time.

Then one time, a girl decides to take an interest in me, she asks me to go out with her, and I admit, i wasn’t sure what to make of it. However, I decided ‘Let’s see where this goes.’. Sure, it was one date, there was no sex wanted or had.

The next day, after I had figured things wouldn’t work out between me and the girl i went out with and told her as nice as I could, the same girls I had been rejected by suddenly took an interest in me. Nothing about me changed when I went on that date, as far as I knew. They basically went ‘Oh, someone dated him, so he must have something good.’

talacaris
5 years ago

Arise, thread out of the past through mists of time. The Necromancer is calling!
With claims, unsubstantiated and the need for the Attention Mentulae.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

My guess is that women should just be honest from the get-go, more straight forward. They are already protected from physical retribution by law and society’s double standards, and can strike men without any reason with impunity.

Retribution for what? Are you saying you’re mad that it’s illegal to hit a woman for not being straight forward with you? Never mind how wrong you are that women are protected from violence by law. Never mind how wrong you are about women being allowed to hit men with impunity. That was very, very creepy. Fuck away.

brooked
5 years ago

You realize that girls are as human as you are, with inner lives and emotions, and they also have bad dating experiences, can struggle with rejection, be treated poorly and get hurt, right?

No, you probably don’t. I hope you’re a teen or were one recently because that the only somewhat acceptable reason for your adolescent solipsism.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Holy shit, where to start.

They are already protected from physical retribution by law and society’s double standards, and can strike men without any reason with impunity.

What kind of backwards land do you live in? My state’s laws regarding assault don’t actually mention gender, and yet women nevertheless suffer much higher rates of domestic abuse than men.

some women want the satisfaction of having power.

“Some men want the satisfaction of having power.” Would you deny the truth of that statement, or criticize those men? I want to hear you criticize men who desire political or economic power and tell them they are being bad nasty people.

But oh, it’s different with women, because we’re talking about sexual power here, not political or economic power. Nope, no misogyny in the assumption that female power = sexual power.

They basically went ‘Oh, someone dated him, so he must have something good.’

You should go to Vegas with those mindreading powers. You could make a killing at the poker tables.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

I’ve honestly never found a man more (or less) attractive after finding out that lots of other women are interested in him. I mean, the current fuss over Benedict Cumberbatch? I remain as confused as ever as to what other women see in him.

And yet every single pissy dude who goes on a rant about women not wanting to date him seems to be convinced that we decide who to date on the basis of who other women want to date, which always makes me wonder who Woman Zero was who got the ball rolling in the first place and why she, unlike all other women, is apparently able to decide she thinks a man is hot without outside prompting.

brooked
5 years ago

This thread will only die if self involved man-children realize how ridiculous and fucked up all their wailing and gnashing over the imaginary “friend zone” is. They need to realize you’re never owed or rewarded with dates with other humans.

In other words, this thread will never die.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

Death, taxes, and male sexual entitlement will apparently always be with us.

contrapangloss
5 years ago

Dear Echo,

If your definition of friendship is a magic route to panties via kindness coins, then thou art a knave and an awful friend.

If thou dost believe that the law indeed giveth women the priviledge of causing more physical harm to fellows of the manly sort, then thou hast not read much in the way of books of law.

I would remain eminently disinclined to acquiesce to any relationship of any sort with thou, even if ye declared your desire and love had the power of a thousand suns, the beauty of all the unicorns, and the devotion of all the Wargies of Morgoth.

Because you obviously know not the meaning of love or friendship.

Just being up front with you. Bro.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

By the women want men that are dating other women logic, women would be in a constant state of unrequited love with their friend’s partners. Because if women are influenced by other women, the women in our social circles should be the most influential of all, right? Wouldn’t female friends be constantly swapping husbands?

It also means that as soon as a lesbian or bi woman scores her first date with another woman, she’ll start falling in love or lust with herself.

vaiyt
5 years ago

@Echobreaker
So, um, you expect to be able to strike back physically at women who have rejected you? And you’re complaining about double standards?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

Wait, wouldn’t lesbians have to fall for the male partners of their friends too under this logic? Because the wimmins have no actual sexual preferences, you see, we just get horny at the thought of stealing someone else’s man.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

My guess is that women should just be honest from the get-go, more straight forward. They are already protected from physical retribution by law and society’s double standards, and can strike men without any reason with impunity.

The fuck are you talking about?

If women are honest from the get-go, men can still get abusive, or at least more aggressive. They don’t want to hear the truth. I tried to tell a friend that I wouldn’t date him. What did he do? Get other people to pester me on his behalf. Nope, nope, NOPE. Still not interested. In fact, that tactic was virtually guaranteed to make me not want to even talk to him anymore.

And if women hit, even if they fight back against a guy who hit them first, they can be criminally charged. Yes, that’s right, I can get charged for assault even if I’m only fighting in self-defence.

The wrong is strong with you, grasshopper.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Then one time, a girl decides to take an interest in me, she asks me to go out with her, and I admit, i wasn’t sure what to make of it. However, I decided ‘Let’s see where this goes.’. Sure, it was one date, there was no sex wanted or had.

The next day, after I had figured things wouldn’t work out between me and the girl i went out with and told her as nice as I could, the same girls I had been rejected by suddenly took an interest in me. Nothing about me changed when I went on that date, as far as I knew. They basically went ‘Oh, someone dated him, so he must have something good.’

Cool story, bro. #thingsthatneverhappened

marinerachel
5 years ago

As if any of those girls who suddenly took an interest in him knew he’d been on that date. Because women are psychic or something? Fuck.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

There’s a mailing list, you see. We all check it daily to see the current trend reports in whose cock other women are after, and make our dating decision accordingly.

marinerachel
5 years ago

Oh, that’s right. I need to check my spam folder more frequently.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

Today in the Feminist Cocks We Crave report, Benedict Cumberbatch is trending. Why, I still have no idea. Maybe I need to read it again a few times and let the hive mind wash over me.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

The only cock I’m craving right now is this one:

http://momandpopcultureshop.typepad.com/bloggedyblogblog/images/cocksoup_3.jpg

gilshalos
5 years ago

I think the wargis of Morgoth should be kept around. I’m sure we have room, though probably not too close to the unicorn stables.

contrapangloss
5 years ago

Yep. There’s room down the hall from the War Capybaras, I think. Maybe we should add another wing to the stable…

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

@Echo,

This may surprise you to hear, given that you seem to think that women can assault men with impunity, but women in fact are often victims of domestic and sexual violence. Often by men who they are aquainted with, as these men are the ones who are actually in contact with them and have the opportunity to abuse them. Even women who have not been abused are normally very aware of the possibility of being victimized by a man and then consquently blamed for allowing that man any sort of interaction with her, due to a culture that emphasizes a woman’s need to ‘not get themselves raped’.

Women will often attempt to pick up clues about someone’s possible threat level by looking at their interactions with others, and by communicating with other women to gauge the situation. So by going out on a date with one woman and having her emerged unscathed, you did not technically increase your desirability, you just gave other women better odds that going on a date with you will not lead to them being assaulted.

Of course, given the rest of the entitled rhetoric that you just spewed on this site, along with the fact that you will not believe me about the threat assessment that women routinely perform, I’d say that the women who initially rejected you were in the right of it to start with. But that’s none of my business.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
5 years ago

The power to say no, thank you, without being punished with violence? Yes.

Kim
Kim
5 years ago

He says he would like to know up front if a woman is interested, possibly before the women herself knows. But I bet he also does the “why won’t she just give me a chaaaaance?” whine wanting women to get to know him before saying they’re not interested.

You not measuring up is not the fault of the women who gave you a chance dude. Or do you expect them to pity-fuck you as well as benefit-of-the-doubt-date you?

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

I mean, the current fuss over Benedict Cumberbatch? I remain as confused as ever as to what other women see in him.

Same here. Sure, entertaining actor from the little I’ve seen, but attractive? Anything but.

Mr K was anything but a romantic hit back in the day. What matters is his appeal to ME, not anyone else. I don’t even know if the same fuss is made about dating here as it seems to be in the US, never having done it, but “man who’s been on multiple dates/had multiple relationships” doesn’t actually strike me as a recommendation even if I knew about it.

Kim
Kim
5 years ago

If there is any truth to the trope that women want men other women want, then it is explained entirely by attitude/behaviour changes in the man, not a female grapevine.

If going on dates makes you more confident, if actually talking to women makes you better at relating to them, if being in a relationship makes you stop creeping on other women, then yes, that probably does make you more attractive. It’s weird how these guys want to throw all their agency out the window and pretend that it’s women controlling everything, and they are a helpless leaf on the wind.

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

Kim – and yet teh menz are the ones who should be ruling the world because they are so logicky and superior. Go figure.

grumpyoldnurse
5 years ago

And, Necro Troll seems to have left the building. Or, did the Wargies eat him? I do hope that they left some for their Orcs (I hate feeding the Orcs).

Meanwhile, who’s gonna clean up this thread? Never mind, I’ll get my shovel.