I know a lot of Man Boobz regulars have been dealing with a lot of rough stuff lately, so I’m opening this thread up to provide a (relatively) safe space to discuss them. No trolls allowed; any trolls who post here will be put on moderation and possibly banned. (Please notify me by email (my last name at well dot com) if there are inaproppriate comments; I get behind in reading comments here.)
…Yeah, so I’m pretty much obligated to try this. That sounds amazing.
Okay, immensely painful conversation with my parents, but I now have a key to my front door and my check from my grandmother’s estate, so I should be good for several months, which really feels good. Wish my head did too, but if wishes were horses…
You ARE totally entitled to be cynical about people. Because people can seriously be shits.
@AJ: is your head hurting right now? In a headache kind of way? Because I’m not by any means an expert in concussions, but that sounds a little worrisome.
Hello everybody who supports this site, I love you and you’re all amazing like little turnips! Kisses and hugs!
RE: Aaliyah and katz
I just ate a cheese and sun-dried tomato sandwich. No basil or mustard, but still heavenly. Man, how did I survive a month or two without these things?
So I did a persuasive speech for my public speaking class recently, and in that speech I mentioned that I’m trans*.
Now I’ve just realized that I have even less control over who finds out I’m trans* because a lot more random people know and may tell acquaintances and so on. Some of whom may or may not be the conservative folks at school.
Well, I’ll just hope for the best I suppose.
@Aaliyah: I care about you and I care about what happens to you. Congratulations on screwing up the courage to tell a classroom full of people the truth about yourself.
If it means anything coming from a white-cis-het-dude, you are not alone.
Okay, I’m bringing this one up here because it’s ‘personal’–in that it involves some people I support and a movement I believe in. It also relates very much to Our Host’s mission, so, there’s that:
I’m literally shaking in rage right now….
Okay, from the top (I know a lot of you know all this already, but the background’s useful for those who haven’t followed it):
Following a few highly public outbreaks of misogyny within the Atheist movement, a group of bloggers and activists started Atheism+, an attempt to move beyond merely saying, “There’s no god(s),” to actually trying to make this world–the only one we believe we have–into a better place. While Atheism+ is working on an intersectional basis, the originating events mean that feminism is a primary focus.
Naturally, this has led to the usual stream of anti-feminists complaining about the threat to their privileged position. This ultimately focused in the blog of a particular writer, known mostly as ERV, who is very much of the FeMRA ilk. When her blog became too toxic for National Geographic to continue hosting on Science Blogs, they moved the gripefest over to a place they dubbed “The Slymepit”, a reference to their common epithet by various feminist atheist bloggers.
Slymepitters, in turn, have continued the harassment of several bloggers and event speakers, while opposing efforts to, among other things, institute strong anti-harassment policies at conferences. One thing that’s really sticking in their craw is Women in Secularism, a conference specifically geared towards women in the movement, meant to raise their profile a bit and make it easier for more gender-neutral conference hosts to recruit a more balanced set of speakers. (At prior conferences, sausage-fest have been the rule, to the point where a panel on “How do we get more women in the movement” had 4 men and one woman speaking.)
Now, a fellow named Justin Vacula has been particularly obnoxious about WiS2. He did a fund-raiser to get travel expenses and conference fees paid for himself, and has made no secret of his intention to attend, and try to ‘engage in debate’ with his opponents, most notably Ophelia Benson, of the blog Butterflies and Wheels.
I’m just gonna note here that A Voice For Men picked up one of Vacula’s own blog posts and re-posted it, approvingly.
So, there’s our background.
One problem with Vacula’s plan–WiS2 has a very strong anti-harassment policy, and Vacula’s public statements mean that he’s already been informed by his targets to stay away–and failing to do so will result in him getting kicked to the curb, probably with lots of video evidence of his actions (since he’s going to be watched like a hawk).
So, enter Karla Porter. Karla’s another anti-feminist woman who has worked with Vacula–I’m not sure if she’s a full-fledged co-host of his Brave Heroes podcast, or was just a major guest, and I’m not willing to listen to the shows to find out, but she’s very much on his side, and that of the other Slyme.
So, Karla, I suspect, figured that since Vacula can’t actually stir any shit with the kind of spotlight on him that his actions have earned, she’d try something a bit more subtle–she contacted another group, one likely to be hostile to WiS and Atheism+, and linked them to the conference site, suggesting that it would be a good place for them to go.
And who is this group? Why, that would be the fucking WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH.
Now remember, the Slymepitters all claim to be atheists and skeptics by trade. The WBC is the literal embodiment of everything the Atheist movement’s been fighting. They’re also a known hate group, willing to disrupt funerals and use intimidation tactics at other events in order to get their ‘message’ of “God Hates F***” across to the masses.
And Karla Porter contacted them, and pointed out WiS2’s suitability as a target.
I just… there’s no words. “Vile fucking pieces of shitpuke” might make a fair start, though.
*Deep breath to mention something happier* A friend of mine makes a fantastic caprese ‘salad’–mozzarella cheese slice on top of a tomato slice, all topped with fresh basil. You just eat all three layers at once with a fork. It needs no further garnish.
I haven’t been taking any painkillers, so I do still have a headache, but I’ve gotten some sleep.
I think that from now on we should refer to willingly involving yourself with Westboro Baptist as Godwin+.
RE: Freemage
Damn. Just wow. That’s the shittiest thing I’ve heard of since I learned how the gay rights movement treated Sylvia Rivera.
@LBT Thank you, drinking more water is a very good suggestion. I know I have never drunk enough water. It’s just one of those strange things.
@Freemage Holy Shit.The Slymepitters/MRAtheists have always astounded me with how vile they can be, but seriously? Seriously?
MRAtheists sometimes make me ashamed of calling myself an atheist.
Oh no, now my name is showing up as lrr7 instead of Carleyblue.
Hello everybody. I’m feeling pretty miserable and the new thread seems like the best place to post this. (Wow it got long.)
Firstly, I am so sorry that anyone has been suffering lately. Internet hugs to all that want them.
I de-lurked for a while and enjoyed it very much. However, I am going back to lurking after this comment. Thank you everyone, it’s been fun. 🙂
– @Aaliyah, I am sorry you have been feeling so rotten, and I hope that you feel better soon. I think you can get my email from David if you need it, although I won’t be on Man Boobz to talk.
– @Kitteh, in particular. I really enjoyed talking to you. I hope your knee feels better, and that the mister and kittens stay happy. 🙂 Enjoy your Kindle when you get it. I will continue to visit your blog, and will try to work out how to comment there, if that’s okay?
– All sympathy to @David.
I realise you started this blog to tackle the MRA and to mock misogyny, I really respect what you do and will continue to donate.
Clearly, you did not create this space originally as a community for like-minded individuals to socialise.
I also realise that the direction Man Boobz has taken must be a massive responsibility, and probably one you wish you didn’t have, much of the time.
That being said, and not to David…
I do like the social aspect of Man Boobz. It does seem unique on the web, incredibly left of the middle, where all people are welcome, and where bigotry is not tolerated.
But after catching up on the thread before this one, I feel really upset.
I had hoped Man Boobz was a space that I could practice talking with people without all the dangers I feel the outdoors represents to me. I realise I am way too sensitive, so I think it’s probably best that I stop commenting.
Man Boobz is a place where bigotry and ableism is not okay, and where trolls are routinely roasted for their crap, as such I did not expect to see an individual rejected when they said they were feeling suicidal.
I realise @hellkell and @CassandraSays, you have been here a long time, but I think telling people to stay on thread can be done at a more appropriate time, like say, when the person in question stops talking about suicide!
I also think that an Internet thread is not like a verbal conversation, you are not forced to listen to what people are saying. If you don’t want to discuss the topic, ignore the poster’s comments, nobody is forcing you to read it.
I understand that sometimes keeping threads on topic is appropriate, but I’m sure most people would agree, when people start talking about suicide that is not one of those occasions!
Also @hellkell, @cassandraSays, I am sorry if this makes you feel bad, really, but people feeling bad didn’t seem to worry you too much yesterday so…
That being said, I am new so I don’t get to set the rules. And also, there were many, many lovely responses from others. I’m afraid that I find a couple of negative comments versus a lot of lovely ones have ruined it for me. Again, that is my problem. Focusing on the negative is a problem for me.
@Aaliyah, It worries me that you might think that I didn’t support you because I in any way agreed with the couple of negative responses you received, I did not agree with them. I wasn’t present during that thread, and only just got up to speed.
I don’t think that there was anything more important to discuss right then than how you were feeling. I hope that experience does not put you off sharing altogether.
I know things that people say quickly and without thought can stay with the person who receives that message for life.
I hope people disagreeing publicly with what was said to you will make you realise that not everybody is that thoughtless.
It also worries me that others, who feel that they can trust this community, now feel that they are unable to talk in case bloggers, other than David, take it upon themselves to police the appropriateness of comments. That would be a real shame.
Endless swearing at trolls is fine, but supporting a fellow human being – OFF TOPIC!
Seriously, what was said to Aaliyah was the cruelest thing I’ve seen on Man Boobz, even considering Derick! He was talking in the abstract, and it was appalling, this was said in context and at a time of distress, in my opinion, much worse!
So, didn’t plan on finishing on such a sour note, but my own personal issues don’t allow me to stay in a space that makes me feel worse about life than I already do. So sorry to everybody, you are a lovely group.
Hope that all made sense. All very complicated and not exactly the kind of thing I’ve ever written in an essay, so grammatically very dodgy.
Thank you again all you lovely Boobzers. It’s been fun. 🙂
So, obviously, I will have to finish on a funny note. I choose Angry Kid (of course).
Take good care everyone. 🙁
Ueah, I saw that. I’m impressed* that they managed to dig their pit so deeply that they cracked their own foundations.
*in a “horrified viewing of an individual intent on failure” sort of way.
RE: Carleyblue/lrr7
Yeah, I used to be a freaking camel (part and parcel of the ED, I guess) But once I started toting a water bottle everywhere, surprise surprise! I stopped getting those ‘brain pushing my eyeballs out of my skull’ headaches nearly so often! Imagine that.
Also, kinda OT, but I remember suicide stuff was coming up in earlier threads, so I thought I might share some of the stuff I do for it.
1. I actually made a zine that I can keep in my wallet, expressly for the purpose of those (thankfully rare, but extremely dangerous) days where I am so batshit insane that I can’t remember basic cause and effect. It’s obviously limited, but it’s always in my back pocket and everyone in the system is under strict orders to pull it out if shit goes wrong, since we can be in such a state that we can’t remember basic things like phone numbers.
2. When I was feeling a bit better, I wrote up this big long thing of things I can do when I’m depressed. Distractions are a major help with me, but there’s also just plain activities that help me regain mental energy without hurting myself. Writing it down helps a lot, since on really bad days my brain will just immediately jump to, “Don’t eat! You’ll feel better!” I can give longer details if folks are interested; it involves things like going outside or to places I feel safe in, or books I can read–I have a HUGE reading list of things to read for specific stuff, complete with page numbers, for almost any mental malady I’ve had. ED, family issues, depression, whatever it is, I’ve found a book for it. (Can you tell I hoped to be a librarian, as a wee thing?)
omfg Freemage.
Movement atheism is such a goddamn mess.
Porter posted something basically trying to wash her hands of wrongdoing. It’s a head-scratcher, to say the least.
http://personal.karlaporter.com/post/49834626607/words-at-odds
Ugh, ok, I have to stop reading now 🙁 🙁 🙁 Justin Vacula is such a perfect representative of what movement atheism really stands for that I want to vomit.
Jedi Hugs to everyone! You are all awesome people and it’s a testiment to how awesome you all are with all these different sad circumstances.
My employment woes are not nearly as bad – I’m working two part time jobs that are good overall, I just don’t have health insurance and am working from paycheck-paycheck. I’m mainly working to find a better full time job (while teaching college classes on the side) and get an actual BIG ADULT PERSON JOB.
Sir Briz is being deployed to Afghanisan at the end of the month for four months :(. He works a civilian job for the DOD and won’t be in any real danger, but I’m still going to miss the shit out of him. I’m throwing a going away party for him in two weeks with a taco bar and margaritas.
inurashii: That made me flinch. He’s NOT what ‘movement atheism’ is about or ‘stands for’–PZ Meyers, Greta Christina, Ophelia Benson, Ian Cromwell, Rebecca Watson… These are ‘movement Atheists’. I can’t deny that Vacula is ~also~ a movement Atheist–that way lies the Scottish Authentication Board, and I refuse to indulge in that sort of hypocrisy. But Skepchick and Freethought Blogs show that it’s perfectly possible to be a movement Atheist while checking your privilege–which means that it’s going to be possible for us to jettison the likes of Vacula from the movement (or at the very least, operate without involving him, no matter how much he claims to want to speak for us).
Ophelia – I’m sorry you’re going back to lurking but it’s very understandable why. And yes, PLEASE contact me on my blog! There’s a “leave a comment” bit under every post, and I’d love to swap emails, if you’d like. I don’t want to lose contact with you!
That spaghetti video is great. 🙂
Malitia – “post a kitten video if I may,” she says, like anyone not a troll would object! 😀 Kitties, adorable …
Extra hugs for anyone wanting them.
Minor but Happy: here’s the first of the new Secret Lentil things that arrived yesterday, as photographed by my local barista-cum-fashion-photographer.
http://i.imgur.com/9Z5ZoKh.jpg