I know a lot of Man Boobz regulars have been dealing with a lot of rough stuff lately, so I’m opening this thread up to provide a (relatively) safe space to discuss them. No trolls allowed; any trolls who post here will be put on moderation and possibly banned. (Please notify me by email (my last name at well dot com) if there are inaproppriate comments; I get behind in reading comments here.)
I’ve had a rough year. Health problems all last year, which I finally figured out were thyroid (most likely autoimmune, to go along with my celiac). Finally got that sorted, so the depression, exhaustion etc that go along with it cleared up… just in time for my aunt to get dx’ed with early onset mixed dementia (and I had to take over her finances for awhile) and my stepfather to get very sick with what turned out to be lymphoma (and I was back and forth to, or staying at, my mum’s place out of town to help her out while he was hospitalized). Ongoing money issues on top of that, car needing to be fixed, debt… and ugh.
That said… I am feeling much better now and moving forward. But hear hear to whomever said (paraphrasing) “yeah it’s all in my head, but so am I” bc wow, true. I’ve battled depression often – in my case, it was related to other health issues (thyroid, celiac) and went away once those were sorted, but it is hell to try and climb out of, and no-one gets it unless they’ve been there. You can’t just buck up. Anyway.
Internet hugs and virtual kittens to whoever wants them, for whatever reason. Anyone reading this who feels like shit tonight, remember that YOU are a good person and the circumstances of your life have nothing at all to do with your worth.
Also to Aliyah (did I spell that right?), keep posting, k?
Tracy, internet hugs and kittens to you! What a cruddy year. I’m glad things are improving.
Speaking of *cough* kittens *cough*, here’s Maddie. Except you won’t be able to see her, ‘cos she’s completely hidden.
http://youtu.be/GYYJmSkECds
Well, David, I wasn’t going to post anymore here. But I would like to express my appreciation for your blog. It has been helping me through a very difficult time indeed. It seemed that the comments section was dominated by a clique that was more interested in bullying than in welcoming new commentators. Not everyone is versed in the jargon of forum writing. That does not mean you are smarter than they are. The mean-spiritedness of some of the reactions to comments I posted had me feeling like the bullies in junior high school did, when they found out I read books and listened to classical music….well, there’s been a lot of regression going on in my mind since I found myself back in the ‘bosom’ of my birth family, looking after my elderly parents and being subjected to the appalling misogyny of two of my brothers…in any case I read your blog and appreciate the emotional release it offers…speaking of Warren Farrell, I remember seeing him on tv in 1994 and screaming out loud…all the best
Nope, but it’s no big deal. =P It’s easy to misspell my name – I’ve noticed that a lot of people miss the second ‘a.’ If in the future you find it too difficult to spell for whatever reason, you can just call me “Ally” instead.
@Argenti Aertheri: All the luck of the Irish to ya! I hope you have an good dentist who, even if you don’t share the ins and outs of WHY you’re having issues, will pinpoint when/if you’re not ok, and won’t continue until you’re comfortable.
From February till about mid-April I was feeling really depressed…then I started to feel better. I’m still going to see a psychiatrist, because I have issues with self-harm, plus my GP thinks I might have OCD. Lately, I’ve been feeling fantastic and feeling really productive, and sometimes the amount of energy I have is a little frightening–I feel like I’m teetering on the edge of control. I also sometimes get really paranoid on a subway/bus/streetcar–I don’t want to make eye contact with anyone because I’m afraid they can read my thoughts, or I feel like everyone is evil. I have what I call “episodes” of this at least once a year, but this one seems worse and it’s freaking me out. And I don’t want to tell anyone in my family because I’m afraid they’ll think I’m making it up, or they’ll try to have me committed, even though I haven’t harmed myself (not since February, and my GP is monitoring me for that).
I have work. I was commiserating on the search from times past. I am also (at this point, not then) semi-retired, so a part-time job is all I need (though a full-time job, with a decent wage would make life a lot easier).
fade: It’s like, live a day in my fibromyalgia’d sack of flesh and you can tell me how strong you feel at the end
Been there (I have Reiter’s Syndrome). I can’t say it gets better. Some days are better, but other weeks are worse. Hugs.
Argenti, I hope your dentist appt goes okay! You really did have an unfairly shitty day.
I hope your situation improves and your appointment goes well, Argenti. =[
*sigh* so word is that my grandfather has pneumonia. Now, this was grumbled to me by my half asleep father, who’s prone to worst case assumptions, but it isn’t good.
Getting my mouth prodded is rapidly becoming the least off worries. Thank you all though.
canuck_with_plunk — can you tell your psych at least? Idk about where you are, but here (US) it’s really hard to get involuntarily committed.
It just gets worse. An acquaintance is smothering me. He kept me company for several weeks after I gave up on Mr. Asshole #1, at which point I was extremely fragile and clingy. I told him as much and that a lot of the emotions I was experiencing were rebound-y and not rational and that I was worried I was taking advantage of him. He told me that was fine Once I bounced back to a significant enough extent that I no longer needed constant surveillance, I realised I actually strongly disliked spending time with him. He doesn’t listen. You have to interrupt him in order to get a word in edgewise and he usually continues to speak over you. He interrupts you and goes off on tangents about himself. All he talks about is himself. Nothing he has to say interests me. I’m not attracted to him nor do I enjoy his company at all. I appreciate the company he provided me with when I needed it so desperately. I am grateful for that. I owe him gratitude, at least.
I can’t get him off my back now though. He absolutely did not listen last year when I told him I believed my clinging to him was due to the place I was in emotionally and not attraction or even fondness. He actually told me he thinks it’s a good idea that I date him, completely ignoring the fact I’m not interested. I never meant to send him mixed signals and I’m sorry I did. I have been very forthcoming since then though. He won’t hear it.
Anyways, I tried to speak to him Friday night because he called and I was so distressed and no one was available. He just interrupted me lots and spoke over me and was generally unhelpful and then blabbed all the fucking details publicly to mutual acquaintances. I was livid. I told him dozens of times “If people ask about me or what happened, change the subject. It’s not their business. I’ll tell those I want to know when I’m ready.” He took it upon himself to provide the general public with status updates on me. Seriously. I stopped responding to his e-mails. Then the barrage of phone calls while I was in bed and otherwise would have been asleep began. I screened them. He assumed this was because was I going to/had killed myself and I got a call from a crisis centre.
I took measures to prevent him from contacting me and redirected his e-mails to my sister, who told him to respect our family’s privacy. He actually told my sister I had forfeited my right to privacy by being publicly distressed and that he was therefore entitled to information about my well-being.
I am so burnt out right now. I am exhausted. I don’t have the strength to deal with any of this.
I thought this year would be better, after the surprise divorce and coma last year. And so one of my jobs burnt to the ground, I left the other because when I ran away last time my dad dragged me around by the neck of my sweatshirt and I didn’t want to be sick in front of him some more, I had pneumonia and an enormous allergy outbreak, I keep having flashbacks to the hallucinations I had in my coma/recovery, I have terrible white coat syndrome, so I’m happy that I’m still going, but when the power just went out for five hours, I’m afraid I freaked out again.
All I can say for myself is that I’m still standing, which since I wasn’t at this time last year, that’s a good thing.
*sets out piles of blankets and pillows, plumping them high, quite a few hypoallergenic, and with snacks laid out all around – a few sections designated to be allergen free of various allergy-common foodstuffs with magical walls in between so no one can get sick, and distributes about several genus of fluffy or otherwise snuggly animals*
This are actually pretty cool in my world right now, all things considered, but I hope things improve for you guys. <3
I have back injury issues too and I swear by ibuprofen and Valerian root. Ibuprofen you have to be careful to not take aspirin with in the really high doses of 800mg I take, but it's godly; Valerian root is a muscle relaxant, so take care with dangerous things after taking it.
*sets up a glorious tank system with tanks ranging from fresh water to brackish and salt water, complete with mangroves y’all can sit under*
What, I can dream!
Also, if you are Very Very Careful, you can view various late Victorian / early Edwardian images with my stereoscope. 150 year old tech, still better than modern 3D. And I have a couple Yellowstone ones where you want to reach out and touch the trees.
Fella just got back from art courier trip. He’s been gone for three days. The kids are going fucking ballistic at his return. I’m amazed the Channel 7 chopper isn’t hovering. And he bought me bought me a copy of Ronnie Barker’s autobiography while he was away. And the kids a bag of lego. To strew in front of mras.
Sending a consignment of Mr K’s pies (savoury or sweet) to augment the snacks for those sitting on comfy cushions and recliners and so on* and looking at the beautiful tank system.
*We’ll make the MRAs and assorted douchebags who’re giving Manboobzers grief sit on the hard chairs**.
**In a locked shed down the bottom of the garden***.
***With the spiders.
Well, I have a few complaints I could do with airing out, I suppose (very mild compared to what a lot of posters here are going through).
Over the past few weeks, I have had frequent headaches. I mean, I had headaches before, but I am getting really tired of them. Medication doesn’t seem to help, most of the time.
On the personal level, I have feelings for someone who has already told me that he isn’t interested*. He does still want to be friends, however, and I am afraid things will get awkward/ weird if we continue to hang out. Since we are fairly incompatible in other ways too, this is probably for the best. But dammit, sometimes I get tired of being rejected all the time.
Also: I had the creeepiest dream last night. Seriously, I should make a book out of it or something.
*Oh wait, I’m sorry, I forgot: This never happens to women, it’s always the other way around.
@marinerachel–since you specifically told him even in the midst of it that you weren’t attracted to him and were just emotionally fragile and looking for support, if he got mixed signals from that it’s his own damn fault, not yours. He sounds like a bully who thinks he can pressure you into dating him, which is just sick and not your fault.
When I was a little kid, I went vego completely independently, because I worked out how animals are farmed and hated it. Have been ever since. That was about 25 years ago, and I have been fighting all sorts of complete arseholes ever since. You would be amazed how interested other people are in your diet, and how discrimination against vegos is a thing. Personally, from work harrassment, it should be a legal thing.
This is probably going to be the least dramatic comment here, but I apparently have to snake my drain to unclog it and I am dreading the whole process. I’ve never done much plumbing stuff and am afraid I’m somehow going to screw it up. : /
Expect the process to produce something that looks like…you know when a cat hacks up a hairball? Like that, but much bigger.
I really feel for the unemployed bunch; hugs to you all. I got major depression last year when I was temporarily unemployed. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of regarding yourself as worthless because you’re unemployed. Intellectually I’ve known all the time that some people will always be unemployed in an economic situation where there simply aren’t jobs for everyone. But since our stupid right-wing government continuously blurt out the message that it’s your responsibility and your responsibility only to find one, it’s so easy to believe on some emotional if not intellectual level that it’s something wrong with you just because you’re unemployed.
On a brighter note: I wrote in the comments section some time ago that I had had a nasty side-effect from my Haldol – my tongue and left hand got all stiff. I used to take Haldol in periods, and be off it in periods when I was more mentally stable. Now I have a new shrink who thought the levels of Haldol I used to take when I was on it were terribly high (which is funny, since no other shrink during all these years I’ve been taking it has thought the levels were unusual). She basically said that these levels might be appropriate for someone big, but a skinny little woman like me should be on less. She suggested I tried taking a low-level dose continuously and then just up the dose a bit if I start getting hypo-manic or experience hallucinations. So I’ve been on this low-level dose now for a few months and so far no side-effects.
I’m applying for funding for a research project I want to do, but even if I wouldn’t get any money I can probably get a half-time teaching position at the university where I currently work come the fall, so we’ll probably manage economically (my husband has a full-time job) anyway. Although the National Bank’s research fund has already announced to me that my application made it to the second stage of their review, and they fund roughly fifty percent of the applications that make it to the second stage.
So I’m pretty good right now, actually. I kind of feel like I have my life pretty well in order right now. This is a tremendously good feeling considering I’ve been pretty badly off, mentality-wise, last year and the year before that.
@Kitteh, haven’t had chance to catch up, hope you and the mister are well. 🙂 (After LOTS of hassle, my Louis book is apparently on the way now!)
Just a quick note.
Saw your reference to what I said in a previous thread ‘What doesn’t break you, makes you stranger’,
That has been a long running (years and years) joke with me and Mr. M.
In my defence, I don’t think it takes much to get from ‘stronger’ to ‘stranger’, especially when you are me. 🙂 So I think Joker man copied me. 🙂
Sorry, will get back as soon as I can, things are a bit hectic here.
Lots and lots of hugs to all those in pain (mental or physical).
Lovely, lovely mind bleach gift for everybody, 🙂
Whoops, slipped back into the smiley zone.
Poo, poo, poo, try this,
Ouch, that sucks. Hugs for you, too.