I know a lot of Man Boobz regulars have been dealing with a lot of rough stuff lately, so I’m opening this thread up to provide a (relatively) safe space to discuss them. No trolls allowed; any trolls who post here will be put on moderation and possibly banned. (Please notify me by email (my last name at well dot com) if there are inaproppriate comments; I get behind in reading comments here.)
And Bannister gets it in one. Boom.
Pain is pain is pain. (Here’s my chance to plug CBT, the therapy, not the kink). Learning about the proccessed involved is good. That’s why I like the poem there, for instance – “Your suffering is the breaking of the shell that surrounds you” tells me that emotional suffering brought on from being corrected is not pain, it’s correction. The original translation I read works better, if you use pain you get a garbled, garbled view because…
But physical pain is just physical pain. There’s nothing noble about it. There’s no higher purpose. It’s great to be noble, and cool, and heroic – and it can help you rewrite your personal experience of the momentary or chronic scream of your nerves. Taking a bullet for someone is a very noble deed, but the pain of impact and subsequent blood loss and shock? That just sucks.
I think that’s why people like plugging the “Enlightenment through suffering” and the “Harsh Truth” ideas. I’ve always found that so weird. Pain is pain, but if you can rebrand it, you’re offering something tangible for your suffering. Suddenly, you’re not just bitter, you’re realistic. You’re not a cynic, you’re enlightened. You’ve Swallowed The Red Pill, You’ve Seen The Light, you understand evo-psych and markets now, and even though you can never, ever love another human being again, because the very idea of love is now just dead chemicals and inert, impersonal reactions in your brain, you are better for it! Because, sorry to tell you, the truth is hard man, and I’m so much better than you!
Pah, humbug.
If you’re in agony, get help. Please. And to everyone going through surgery, or those who know people who will be, I hope the doctors are neat and effecient and the process short and painless.
That’s why aspirin, not nuclear reactors, are the greatest modern invention if you have a headache. q:
@Kittehserf: heh! That was the Joker, from The Dark Knight. “I believe… that what doesn’t kill you… makes you stranger.” (lip-licking)
To Fade:
I honestly don’t know what kind of financial hurdles are in place for taking the GED; I imagine sitting for these exams costs money.
It might be moving forward if you could clear that hurdle and find a way into a schedule at a CC you can manage.
I might also be wrong.
Right now I’m strongly considering doing GED anyway, due to inability to do a full coursload, and wanting to get out in the world, not sit in for 2 more years of highschool
Fib: So true.
If you can do it, just do it.
I had a good friend in HS who was going through a lot of crap and took her GED sophomore year and was ready to move on with her life. Which last I heard was going really well, but that was a really long time ago.
But my anecdote doesn’t help your situation
@Fade: the fees are very nominal. Getting your GED is all about being able to pass a test. I prepped for it, but then I very nearly aced it. If you’re good with tests — because tests, after all, test your ability to take tests, first and foremost — then just go for it.
@inusharii
Jedi hugs if wanted. Back problems suck.
@kathleenb
“I get to have an endometrial biopsy tomorrow. I hate needles, I hate being touched by strangers and I have no clue how to handle bad results. Hopefully, I’ll get a doc who will be cool with just taking the hellish thing OUT”
Hugs offered and good luck. Hope you get a good doctor too.
@aaliyah
“In any case, I won’t post about personal advice stuff nearly as often as I used to, even in this thread.”
🙁 we don’t mind it… (I don’t, and haven’t seen anyone else saying they don’t like it). I assumed this thread was so trolls wouldn’t be bothering people who wanted to talk about personal stuff.
@karalora
“Work is stressing me the hell out. We’ve gotten sooooooooo busy this year, I really need an assistant but so far the boss won’t approve the budget to hire me one. I also need a vacation, but I’ll never catch up if I take off any length of time. My shoulders have been stiff for weeks and I’m actually losing weight from all the running around.
I can’t tell my mom about any of this because all she’ll hear is “I’m losing weight” and think it’s a fantastic turn of events.”
Internet hugs if wanted 🙁 sorry to hear your In stressful situation
@pemra
“Well, it gives us some perspective, I suppose. ”
Back pain does not give me any perspective, it gives me pain, you worthless sack of shit.
@bee
“Saturday. Bad news: I’ve been looking for a month and can’t find a job. Which is extra depressing since I went to law school because I couldn’t find a job. So now it’s been four years since I’ve had a job that’s paid me any money, and I feel really worthless and rejected and awful”
You’re not worthless. 🙁 Jedi hugs offered.
@weeboy
” I feel useless, purposeless, and I want to die. I don’t have the energy to do anything and I don’t know if I can fight my way out of this yet again.”
Fuck. All the hugs, if you want them. That sounds horrible. And you are not useless. You’re a great person regardless of whether you have a job.
@viscaria
” I feel like he’s decided that it’s worth throwing away our 12 year long friendship rather than risk any conflict at all with his new gf. Which, whatever, I don’t want them to break up or anything, I just don’t want to pretend like that’s an ok way to treat me”
That sucks. 🙁 I hope things work out + hugs if you want them.
@blackbloc
“I’m a bit in the same boat Viscaria, except my friend is my ex-girlfriend (8 years together) and she’s bi while her new gf is a lesbian with trust issues around men. And I’m openly poly, which ironically is exactly why I would never try to shit on their relationship, but you know, I’m slutty, so I’m a total homewrecker risk. So, yeah.”
That sucks too. :/ especially the ‘you must be a slutty slut because you’re poly’. At least sounds like that’d suck most to me, but I’m not you. Anyway, Internet hugs offered.
@andrew Johnston
Sorry about your employment and fiancé problems 🙁 can’t understand much about your feelings about the broken engagement, because I have no idea what it’s like,but good luck, I hope you feel better and Internet hugs if you want them.
@eli
“Then to make matters even worse, my 98-year-old father is in the hospital. He may have had a mild heart attack Saturday night. There have been so many tests. He might get to go home tomorrow.”
That sucks, I hope he gets better 🙁 and sorry about your job. Internet hugs if you want them (Im offering those a lot today, but they seem needed)
@weeboy
“It’s been a while since I was so depressed that I struggling to get out of bed, but here I am. My back hurts from lying down too much and I am not exercising at all. I just want this to be over.”
🙁 more Internet hugs if wanted. I wish there was something substantial I could tell you. I just really, really hope you feel better soon.
@kittehs
““What doesn’t kill you makes you stranger“. Vast improvement over the original, which I loathe. It’s a ridiculous claim and horribly dismissive”
Seconded. I loathe the original.
And Another round of Internet hugs offered for anybody who wants them…
@Fibi: Not aspirin, tylenol.
@Aaliyah: Can you start taking two or three tylenol a day? Just as an experiment.
My favored headache med of choice is ibuprofen. XD since it seems like we’re voting
Thanks for all hugs Marie!
It’s kind of ridiculous that David opens this thread and so many of us are going through horrible stuff. Hugs to all that want them.
@Howard Bannister:
Hahaha. Their example of “bad things” was watching David Lynch films and talking about it? That is the greatest thing. The greatest thing tonight.
I amend my statement.
Tylenol beats aspirin and nuclear reactors if you have a headache AND If you have terrifying, crunching bouts of existential dread.
KathleenB:
I didn’t even think to ask, but it couldn’t hurt. I just swore a blue streak until it was over.
@inurashii
I saw a lot of accounts with the name inurashii when I did a Google search, but I didn’t really find any contact info (as far as I could tell). X_X
If you’re still around, my email can be found in my DreamWidth profile (in my username).
@Fade
I suggest you go to community college if the community colleges you can go to have good adequate student health services. In addition, if you ever plan on going to a 4-year university, transferring from CC after 2 years can save a lot of money. And transitioning from high school to community college to university may be easier for you as community college is generally only slightly more challenging than high school.
Just my 2 cents. I hope things get better for you regardless of which path you take.
sending good wishes to everyone! 🙂
and completely OT, but this is a cool webpage a friend on FB found – http://siriuslymeg.tumblr.com/post/33738057928/99-life-hacks-to-make-your-life-easier
That’s definitely doable – and I say that as someone who’s done the exact same thing herself. Well, I don’t have a GED, but I got a CHSPE certificate which allowed me to attend community college at least part time by the age of 16. If it’s feasible for you, I highly recommend it!
Honestly, I’ve been rocking that Tylenol lately, based on those reports. Seems helpful, but I don’t take it when I’ve had any drinking, either self- or mom- induced.
I’m also having night sweats. Doesn’t help anything.
@Fibinachi & Marie,
Thanks for the kind words. I feel a little silly complaining about the job I have when so many people here need one and don’t have one. But on second thought…it’s kind of a sign of the times, isn’t it? So many people go unemployed because the rest of us are expected to pull double-duty (for just the one paycheck). If my boss weren’t so stubborn, one of you could come over here and solve both our problems. If you didn’t mind doing a lot of data entry and/or parcel shipping, that is.
@Howard – oh poop! I thought “What doesn’t kill you makes you stranger” was a Manboobz original. Some evil person didn’t give a source, dammit!
@Fibinachi –
Oh gods, THIS. The part about chemicals is what I hate about the materialist-reductionist slant when it goes down that path. Sure, they’re chemicals, but does that make love or joy or sorrow or anger less real?
Reminds me of the “life is suffering” line some Buddhists (or wannabe Buddhists, I don’t know) trot out. Um, yeah, fine, but it’s not all suffering for every creature, and I don’t go along with the idea that desire = suffering anyway. It always feels like such a cop-out.
@eli – “I’m also having night sweats. Doesn’t help anything.”
They’re such fun, aren’t they?
@Karalora:
Oh friendigo, I was born for data entry. Repetitive keyboard mashing to instill the same general bits into unpersonable, uncaring and unfeeling information banks that will, at best, merely be casually indifferent to my efforts is what brings my soul so much joy.
That’s why I love arguing with the MRA.
We’ve all got some suffering, it’s part of life, I think.
@Kittehserf:
Hahah, they misunderstand the line. Life means suffering because living implies dying. So come to terms, stare at a tree, tadah, instant buddhism, just add zen. Huh, deja vu…
I jest. Although not a lot.
Hehe.
Manboobz: Come for the mockery, stay for the support and validation of the virtue of tylenol.
Kittehserf, the best answer I ever saw to the reductionist It’s-just-chemicals get-over-it was when Cliff Pervocracy said, about depression, (from memory)
“I realized, yes, it’s all in my head. AND SO AM I.”
Seriously.
Thanks for the advice, aaliyah and eli (and anyone I missed). Yeah, my dad did mention that doing community college for 2 years would be much, much cheaper than doing a traditional four year college.
Covers on, covers off, covers on, covers off.
Then I hear “all creatures of our god and king,” one of the audition pieces.
I tell myself, in my dream, turn on the tornado sirens (Bigmomma will know, we live close) turn them on to drown it out.
Drown it out.
Covers on, covers off, covers on covers off.
/this is my new every night.
@Howard
Thanks for the link!
As for Tylenol, I’ll certainly consider it. I admit I’m a bit wary since I’ve heard a lot of bad things about Tylenol, but perhaps I’m misinformed.