I know a lot of Man Boobz regulars have been dealing with a lot of rough stuff lately, so I’m opening this thread up to provide a (relatively) safe space to discuss them. No trolls allowed; any trolls who post here will be put on moderation and possibly banned. (Please notify me by email (my last name at well dot com) if there are inaproppriate comments; I get behind in reading comments here.)
Mick Aston died. He was only 66. 🙁
Which means he was my age when Time Team started.
“Except I chipped my tooth with a vodka bottle the other day.”
…
That is all.
Cloudiah — glad your friend is doing better!
Pecunium — this month has just set out to make you feel old huh? Come visit, we can go play in Peabody’s discovery room. And yeah, you have to wait to get in, but nobody’s ever commented on me being the “kid” in the group ^.^
Oh NOES! The Naïf is going to be scooped! Signs of language in Voynich Manuscript
But they didn’t even mention that it might be music!
Fade: Was that the damage to the tiny fibres thing, or something else? (I’ll do a link to the fibres paper if you want, but I’m wondering if that’s what’s eating my posts)
It wasn’t damage, but an overdensity; so that when temperature regulation kicks in the nerves get pinched by the vascular changes.
I understand about how you can’t work now. I have a different sort of pain-problem, and I know lots of people with some form of Fibro.
Congrats on the DOMA decision!! Woohoo! I cried alittle this morning at the news.
This isn’t a personal thing, but I thought it was interesting and didn’t want to derail from the other threads. James Toronto, some douche at The Wall Street Journal, accused Senator Claire McCaskill of making a “war on men” by investigating sexual assault in the military. He also said that her calling the victims survivors was “histrionic”. And he said that her concerns about stopping rape in the military was about “criminalizing male sexuality”.
So she gave him an excellent rebuttal
The highlight was
Give ’em hell, Claire!
Surprisingly, the comments section there seemed mostly reasonable. There were a few annoying MRA derailing attempts but it was mostly about Toronto’s article, McCaskill’s response, and the issue of sexual assault in the US military.
Came home from a lovely day out on Thursday to find my beloved Rosie-cat suffering a stroke/heart incident. Rushed her over to the vet but knew it was no use. On vet’s advice, had her put to sleep. I cried all the way home. My neighbours came round on Friday morning to help me bury her. I have 2 other cats and, like me, they are rather forlorn.
On a happier note, as we’d planned for several weeks, two college friends abandoned their families & came to stay for the weekend so we laughed and made silly jokes and had a wonderful time. It has been such a relief and a distraction.
I kind of feel bad posting in this thread once again, but David probably isn’t going to make another one of these threads for a while. This is basically what has transpired recently.
In short, running away from home is going to be emotionally painful for my little sisters one way or another, and thinking about that is really distressing. Does anyone think it can ever be possible for me to reduce the consequences as much as possible? Because right now, I feel hopeless about the situation.
Also, does having health insurance under my father’s health insurance plan make way for the possibility of some kind of coercion in case I run away and he wants to reel me back towards him? If so, is there a way to “break free” from it, for lack of a better term?
Ally, my heart hurts for you. I want you to be safe and happy, and I genuinely don’t think that is in conflict with having your little sisters be happy and healthy, and having them have a good relationship (already well-established) with you.
I don’t know anything about the health insurance aspects; wish I did.
Hugs if you want them.
Thanks, cloudiah. *reciprocates*
Hugs for Aaliyah. Left you a reply with my longer thoughts.
Oh titanblue, your poor kitty!
Ally — I know fuck all about insurance in Cali, but can email pecunium fi you want, he lived there for years, he might know. For the rest…I have nothing useful, I’m sorry.
Like, this is why I’m not really out in places without the safety barrier of the internet, it isn’t worth it…but I’m lucky in that most of my family is used to me going “gender roles? Fuck that noise” so not being out =/= being totally closeted. I’m sorry I can’t be of any help.
One thing though, how old are they? They may be able to comprehend that you love them no matter what, but idk, if they’re really young they might cave to other relatives if said relatives insist you’re some horrible trans* person.
Thanks, katz! (I keep gravitating towards capitalizing your name for some reason…)
@Argenti
One is 7, and the other is 8. They’re turning 8 and 9, respectively, this September. I know that’s kind of old, and they are decently smart for their age(s), but they can probably cave to pressure because they’re easily manipulated by authority figures.
I think one thing I can do is ask my older siblings to try to be a part of their lives; perhaps they could try to be there for them often enough to counter the indoctrination somehow. Probably wishful thinking, but it’s something I’ll consider.
(I actually don’t care at all whether people capitalize my handle or not. I usually don’t but I am not consistent.)
Aaliyah – what the first poster on your blog said. You’re not running away. You’re moving out. You’ll be doing it anyway when you go to university, and you’ll certainly be doing it at some point, because no way can you live permanently with your [deleted] father.
Your sisters are little kids and they’d be upset and not understand about a family member moving out regardless of the circumstances. You are not responsible for living their lives for them. Yes, you love them, yes, they’re kids, but this is down to a matter of preserving your own mental wellbeing, your physical safety and, when it comes to it, you actual self, your identiy – the person who is Aaliyah.
Fear of how your sisters may respond, or how your family may respond, can’t override that.
katz, I replied to your comment. (I don’t know if anonymous commentators get email notifications and such. DW is kinda weird.)
@Kitteh
You’re right; I know that I’m out of appealing options here. I can’t do much to help them out because I need to do things for my own well-being.
I’m expressing these concerns because, well, I just wish I could have some kind of win-win situation. It just makes me really sad to think about. Even thinking about has made me constantly weepy this evening.
Speaking of university, I don’t know how UCSC is going to go for me. There’s a high chance I’ll be rejected because – in the most inconvenient timing ever – UCSC took its time to inform me that the college I’ve enrolled in wants the transcripts by tomorrow, even though I was told by other official sources that they want them by the 15th. So I’m not sure what’s going on. And then there’s that awful grade I got. And the fact that my father won’t let me move close to or on campus unless I have some Muslim roomate(s) (who he PERSONALLY has to meet – seriously!). In fact, just because of his very unfair expectations for living close to campus, that might be sufficient to delay my attendance at UCSC – because taking the bus and train is abysmally inconvenient and unfeasible.
Sometimes I feel that not going to UCSC is in my interest, though. I mean, I’m probably still going to be closely monitored somehow.
Okay, WHEN did they inform you? Was it by email or post? You need to let them know you only found out today!
If you don’t get in there, are there other educational options?
Call them! Call admissions ASAP and explain! Like tomorrow, which is probably today by now.
Just found out some more stuff. Well, yes, they do need the transcripts by July 1st, but it looks like I can just send them my unofficial transcript, which simplifies a lot of things for me. I can easily do that in a few minutes.
What katz said! Call them! As for your siblings…yeah, they’re going to take it personally either way. Just stick with telling them you love them, you aren’t leaving them, you’ll visit (and then do).
And I really, really hate to say this, I was hoping you’d get a bit older and have your situation more squared away before you had to face this…but win-win situations for trans* people, especially trans* women, are really rare. You make it the best you can, pick what battles are worth fighting, but often there is no perfect solution (really, that goes for life in general, but particularly so when you’re someone society would rather ignore).
Whatever you do, whether it’s UCSC, find friends who’ll support you. The real you, not the boy mode you put on to please your father. Pecunium’s cool, and knows the area, he might know some trans* friendly places (and if nothing else, I speak from experience here when I say he’s willing to lend a shoulder). We’ll all support you, but yeah, you may end up needing couch space. And uh, if things get to the point you start thinking about actually running away, take your ID, social security card and birth certificate.
And I officially suck at anything resembling cheery advice >.< *hands her some tissues* I do have this bit of cheeriness in this gloom, everybody here is here for you.
Then get the to a kinkos and fax that shit!
You can also fax for free from your computer on sites like this one.