I know a lot of Man Boobz regulars have been dealing with a lot of rough stuff lately, so I’m opening this thread up to provide a (relatively) safe space to discuss them. No trolls allowed; any trolls who post here will be put on moderation and possibly banned. (Please notify me by email (my last name at well dot com) if there are inaproppriate comments; I get behind in reading comments here.)
Oh Blackbloc, that sucks on like 3 different levels.
@Viscaria
I feel your pain! I’ve lost quite a few female friends to jealousy from boyfriends/spouses, even when there’s been no romantic history between us. I find it’s due to what Freemage said, as well as the ridiculous idea in society that straight partners have the right to restrict their partner’s relationship with people of the opposite sex.
Being unemployed sucks if you are actively looking for a source of income and getting no luck.
Good luck searching for everyone. There must be something out there, I mean, the world does have an on-going economy and the matriarchy is clearly working in our favor… So eventually, you will hit pay dirt. That must be possible :]
Let me see if I can join you in your woes…
[Email check]
Ah, yep. My email contains another two rejections. More will probably pop in soon.
Oh well, I’m starting my bachelor’s in September and just have to hold on for that long. Summer’s nice. I can eat grass. It’ll do. I’ve got other sources of income and it’s been… nice to take a few months off. Not feel so raw. Since we’re on the topic of depression, I limped through my final graduation at the IB with some paltry points (well, “Paltry” compared to my ambition, still so high I can’t complain mwahaha) and with a inclination to stare at the walls for hours, being absolutely hollow inside. It’s fantastic not to feel like that any more. It does get better, bit by bit.
On the other hand!
@Karalora:
I hope YOUR work winds down just enough for you to catch your breath. It’s always either too much or too little or too soon or not soon enough. Jedi hugs and good wishes.
@Iinurashi:
recover quickly, oh you of hilarious stories and injuries. Like my friend in the ER; it’s the kind of injury you will, eventually, laugh about – hopefully.
@Weeboy:
That, sincerely, sucks. Bests of luck working toward something. I want to take a moment, just… point out? Your lack of a specific job does not mean you are worthless. You are not.
As much as those words mean coming from a complete stranger with no view into your life, I do mean it – If you go through a lot of interviews, you get interview experience. Eventually you will merely be “Bad” at interviews. And then, soon thereafter, you’ll be “Okay”. And then you’ll stop, because you’ll have found a job (and if not, at some point, you get to “Good”; and then you find a job in HR.
Wink wink.
(HUman ressources is an important part of any good company) )
Day by day. Bit by bit.
It’ll be better.
@Pecunium:
Good luck. Sounds like a curious balance to have to manage.
@Viscaria:
Stab her. Wait, no, no, help thread. Haha. Stab her with silence! By not caring. Although, losing the assurance of a friend is rough. Weird how that can sometimes stab more than any actual, complete activity. Maybe he’s just too focused on one thing and missing the other awesome people in his life? At least that isn’t active malice or abandonment, just tunnel vision. Hope it works out. And sorry if that reads like making excuses for your friend, it’s not quite that, still a damn thing to do.
@Aaliyah:
Click
Oh dear, I forgot my gift.
Continuing the topic of music and cats, have the Cat Piano, a jazz themed lovely poem with a beautiful illustration.
Click!
@Blackbloc:
Totally, yeah, and any activity between the two of you would obviously be your fault, and your fault alone, so feel bad, because you’re a poly man slut thing.
(I don’t mean this)
I am sorry to hear that situation. Sucks. A lot.
@Pro-Equality MRA:
Starting an education again can be a good thing, if you know what you want to study and can find the means. Good luck with that.
Gender studies might be fun.
Also
and bear hugs for one and all
I can join in on the employment front. I’ve been out of work for eighteen months – all of my background is in education, which means precisely fuck-all right now. Fortunately, it might be looking up. I finally moved to a larger town with more opportunities, and there are actually several really good jobs I have a real shot at landing, one in a field that I really enjoy. Downside is that it’ll be a while until they’re officially done processing the applications, and if I get one of them it’ll be weeks until it starts, which leaves me a lot of time with not much to do.
I’m also still dealing with a broken engagement. Eight months ago, my fiancee just left, and I’m still dealing with that. Pretty much everyone expects me to just get over it, as though it were that easy. I’ve been trying to date again, but social life in this community is based primarily around alcohol, which doesn’t give me too many real chances to meet anyone. It doesn’t help that I run into someone who reminds me of my ex about once a week. Yesterday, I was at an art show in the park and I ran into so many couples that reminded me of the two of us that I had to run home before I started crying and/or breaking things.
Anyway, that’s my little self-centered rant. Thanks for the opportunity, I really needed it today.
Ouch. It’s not that easy, but “getting over” fond memories never is.
Good luck with that too.
Jedi hugs to everyone. Inu, back injuries suck majorly – been there, years ago. So does being out of work – I was out of work for two years a decade ago. At least we have continued income here, none of this 99 week stuff, even though the money is well below the poverty line (even the age pension and disability pension pay more, though still not enough).
On a bit of Trivial but Good news: my dresses from Secret Lentil finally arrived! I’ve had the words LOST/STOLEN playing on loop in my mind since the last tracking was in Chicago on April 21st, and neither the USPS nor Australia Post bothered to do any since.
I shall post photos when I get the chance. 🙂
@Viscaria: That one tough. The best I can say is that your friend probably hasn’t rejected you for good. It’s a new relationship, possible even a new situation, and he’s going out of his way to make the gf feel more comfortable. Once things settle down, he’ll return to his good senses. Give him some space and some time to come down.
Then again, maybe you shouldn’t take my advice. My history with relationships (romantic or platonic) isn’t exactly great.
@pecunium: Sounds like you’ve got it tougher on the jobs front than a lot of us. The bureaucracy being what it is, I suppose you’re stuck with waiting around huh? Harsh. Most you can do in that situation is find something you can do to keep your mind occupied.
@Fibinachi: Congrats on the IB, sorry for the emptiness that you had to live with while you earned it. That must be pretty common for that age – I actually had quite a few friends who dropped out of high school or just barely graduated due to depression. It definitely does get better once you’re past all that.
Ouch. All the sympathies*
*I get the idea I will be offerring all the sympathies to everyone here.
@KathleenB
Hoping your biopsy goes well.
How does pain give us perspective, pray tell?
@Bee
Congrats on law school! And I hope you find a job soon.
Actually, hoping all of our unemployed people who are looking for jobs can find jobs.
This is me (not as in i know you, as in i”m in that situation. 😉 ) Right now, I’ve just completed my first semester of school in 3 years, since dropping out at 15 due to depression.
Right now my personal problems are trying to figure out whether to finish high school, or get the GED and start community college, and which one would be friendly on my fibromyalgia and depression
If it makes people feel better,
Babbus!
Moar babbus!
KathleenB; good luck, and hugs. I found a gyno and had an edometrial biopsy last Friday. I’ll get the results on the 17th.
It wasn’t horrible, but they should consider giving you good drugs after for the cramping.
Is your doc thinking hyperplasia? I think that’s what mine is going towards, and if it’s pre-cancerous, they can just take the damn thing out.
Falconer, we need pictures of babbus and kittehs! Stat!
Yeah, me. I had a temp job. I always knew it was a temp job and treated it as such. Until my supervisor kept filling my head with hot air and they’ll keep me longer and I’m so awesome. I started to believe it.
Dude, I’m on the list-serve for jobs in the field. You know this, Mr. Supervisor. The day after this meeting that was so much bullshit, the job announcement appeared. Then came formal auditions.
This was a job playing organ at a church. I had to go in and play on Sunday after being told the committee made an unanimous decision to go with the other candidate. Why did Mr. Supervisor feel so compelled to make me so many empty promises? Really, I never expected the real job when I went in. That just made it so much more of a blow.
Then to make matters even worse, my 98-year-old father is in the hospital. He may have had a mild heart attack Saturday night. There have been so many tests. He might get to go home tomorrow.
And I have to keep going to that church and practicing, because I still have the temp contract through the end of the month. At the very least, I have heard from plenty of people who are flabbergasted that I’ve been treated so badly, but they weren’t the ones with the power to hire, so it’s all kind of fluff.
@Andrew Johnson:
Ah, it gets better. At least I had my burst of weltsmertz while young, and can look forward to a good 50 years of feeling pretty good about life. Thanks, though.
But bloody hell, you’re right. It is just high school when looking at US information. Gods. I’ve spent so long in various boarding schools and places that my first instinct was to go “HIGH SCHOOL? You looking to get cut? Huh? Huh? I finished a college level course! I’m going to stab you!” but… No. I didn’t. Must be some errant damage from people misunderstanding my subject levels. Apologies.
… Man I’m turning twentish in August and I just finished high school a year ago? I’ve wasted my life.
That’s it, where’s the restart botton? This damn thing does come equipped with one, right?
I jest. I jest. :} Thank you for your kindness.
@Fade:
PemRa is probably going for the deep route. Ala Kahil Gibran like so .
Hope you can find a course you can do meanwhile. Ged and community might be a good plan, I’ve heard good things and it should be more managable, schedulewise. Go! Go! Do the thing you want to do, and know your choice was the right one if you carry through with it.
@Kittehserf:
Congrats! And do take pictures, that’d be great.
You seem a bright person based on the comments I’ve read from you, would getting the GED and starting community college be easier? I can’t imagine high school would be friendly to your health problems.
@Fibinahi
Maybe this bit
Makes more sense in context (I skimmed the poem, not analyzed it) but I super hate it when people say that, or “pain makes you stronger” or w/e it was that pemra was going on about
It’s like, live a day in my fibromyalgia’d sack of flesh and you can tell me how strong you feel at the end
@eli
I feel like community college would be easier right now, but that’s probably because I am currently behind in regular high school due to not being able to work b/c I was sick, so it might just be the easy option for me (as in, I wouldn’t have to worry about catching up this semester).
high school is semi friendly to my health problems. I can rest when I need to, but I still wind up falling behind because I need to rest more often than I can school.
I was talking to seventhguest, and zie* mentioned I might take a half load of courses in community college, which sounds nice to me. I could focus more of my energy on just a few classes, instead of spreading myself thin
*sorry, I don’t know your PGP! 🙁
Ah, oh, that line.
Yeah, I just always assume they the poem talks about emotional pain in relation to desires and wanting things unattainable and suffering when you don’t attain them. I’m fairly sure its a case of somewhat garbled translation, because the book I had of it used “Suffering” (my memory tells me).
Not meant to somehow say that your fibromyalgia, which causes you incredible pain, somehow bestows upon you perspective supowerpowers. Gods no. It just gives you pain, I guess. And lots of it. So like, not cool.
@eli:
That is so much bullshit, and my god. I am not in charge of hiring practices, but for fluff, that does suck. I hope your father pulls through and the tests come back with good results.
Oh, no, I didn’t think you were trying to say it. But what pemra said and that poem reminded me of it. Though the poem was kind of unclear. It’s probably b/c I don’t read much poetry XD
Realizing that there was no over-arching higher purpose to suffering actually made me feel a lot better. Because then I didn’t have to go searching for the lesson some higher being was trying to teach me, I could make up my own.
Mine have better plot and coherence anyway.
Aaliyah, check out this blog about books and editing. The latest iteration of the thread I mentioned is a few scrolls down. It has links.
Hellkell: Yep. And I really, really hope there are painkillers involved! And, you know, maybe some valium.
It’s been a while since I was so depressed that I struggling to get out of bed, but here I am. My back hurts from lying down too much and I am not exercising at all. I just want this to be over.
The only version of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” I like is the one here recently – damn, I’ve forgotten who said it – Ophelia or ArchaeoHolmes, I think? – “What doesn’t kill you makes you stranger“. Vast improvement over the original, which I loathe. It’s a ridiculous claim and horribly dismissive. Hell, I think of the pain (physical and emotional) my other half went through, and it sure didn’t make him stronger, it just gave him years of pain and grief. His strength was there anyway, not instilled by having a shitty life.
WeeBoy I am so sorry. Been there.