I know a lot of Man Boobz regulars have been dealing with a lot of rough stuff lately, so I’m opening this thread up to provide a (relatively) safe space to discuss them. No trolls allowed; any trolls who post here will be put on moderation and possibly banned. (Please notify me by email (my last name at well dot com) if there are inaproppriate comments; I get behind in reading comments here.)
Marie – I don’t think I’ve ever seen a comment from you that I’d say “you’re being a jerk” about.
Evilly funny, on point, ripping shreds out of MRAs, yes – jerk, no.
Unimaginative, sorry to hear you’ve been going through that crap too. 🙁 It’s extraordinary how food can affect things like that – speaking from the position of bein’ pretty ignorant about it all.
Evil cat is ripping up couch …
Auggz, I am so glad your friend’s still alive! I do hope he gets help.
I have trouble exercising (aka walking- that’s the only exercising I do) when I don’t feel good either, but my mother harasses me and tells me that exercising will help me to feel better.
@kittehs
I wish you could talk to psychs before paying 100$ or w/e. ::sigh:: Cuz I think I may be…picky.
@Unimaginitive
Yay 😀 yeah I am fuzzy brained today. I mean, normally I’m kind of ditzy, but this is moreso. More of I don’t feel like I’m actually having fun and talking, just switching around cuz I’m so anxious. /wwhhhiiiinnnneeeee.
@neurotic beagle
D’awww guinea pigs in hats! I’d cuddle my piggies, but they haven’t wanted to be out much today 🙁 Luckily they let me take up out to play a little….
wow I am all over the place today.
@kittehs
Yay 🙂 And ::cackles evilly::
@neuroticbeagle
🙁
Too right about the cost. It was $160 upfront for me, of which I got about $65 back on Medicare.
Evil cat has now knocked two sets of knitting needles off the table and is chewing them …
@Kittehs
Isn’t that what couches are for? 🙂
Fortunately, I only have to worry about Princess Furrybutt hogging the couch. Although she magically seems to gain weight when she doesn’t want to move.
This needs a guinea pig in it.
@neuroticbeagle – I can just see it. She magically gains about 1000000000000000 tons when you’re trying to shift her.
I’ve had to put my knitting on the filing cabinet at head height to get it away from Maddievil Cat. I brought out the plastic bag of needles ‘cos she loves lying on that, but typically, she’s wandered off for a refill instead.
If you can’t afford/ find a decent therapist, I’d certainly get to the doctor. Maybe change dose/meds. The other thing you can try if you think it’s worth the effort without a therapist to work through the feedback, is find a worthwhile online version of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Most of these are really a version of CBT “homework” for face to face therapy – many also use workbooks – but if you can’t have everything, having something to focus on which is oriented towards practical behavioural changes might help a bit.
But the doctor should be the first port of call. No form of therapy is going to deal with the problem if it’s really your thyroid (for one common example) or gluten sensitivity or some other physical issue that’s causing it.
@Kitteh
Well, yeah. She’s not going to lay on something you want her to lay on, where would the fun in that be?
@midlymagnificent
Thanks for advice 🙂 Don’t think I’ve heard much about cognitive behavioral therapy before, probably I’ll ask my doctor about it if we can’t find decent therapist.
And I’ve got to check with my parents what’s been checked on me >.< I think I got some thyroid thing tested when I went to a specialist to see if I had fibromialgia (which I thankfully didn't) but I really need to figure out because i"m so forgetful about all this.
Thanks to all you guys for taking the time to talk and give advice 🙂 You're all really nice. Gonna try to pump my dad for more info tomorrow. (yeah, I have a pretty bad problem with not remembering my own medical history…especially with so many tests that got done on my back recently where it was all 'is it x?' 'no, okay is it x?' and yeah.)
Ha! I might have known that was behind all that cavorting. Madam had rocket fuel.
And now she is lying on the needles and planning to attack Fribs.
Herewith one video of the camera-eating cat:
http://youtu.be/kQKH_QXiUEg
D’awww guinea pigs in hats! I’d cuddle my piggies, but they haven’t wanted to be out much today 🙁 Luckily they let me take up out to play a little…
Try treats? Food almost always works with a beagle.
::waves hands excitedly::
Cognitive behavioural therapy is what I had and what I was talking about before – recognising stressors and triggers and the physical reaction to ’em so you can eventually change your thought patterns. Seconding what mildlymagnificent said!
@Marie
When my depression and anxiety are being more painful than usual for me, I like to do little things here and there to calm myself down, like taking a hot shower/bath, writing, or watching some show I enjoy. It’s no cure, of course, but in my experience it makes things easier to deal with. Maybe that could help?
@neuroticbeagle
My weird guinea pigs don’t like treats! They love the vitamin C pills I got them but they won’t touch their treats! 😛
@Aaliyah
thanks for adivce 🙂 Probably should do some of those. (or things that call me own. Taking a shower does not calm me down, although I really need one).
uh. guinea pigs =/= beagles. good to know 🙂
Here’s a thing for if you’re over-stimulated: shower in the dark. The noise, even temperature, and darkness combine to be a kind of sensory-deprivation chamber. (Keep a nightlight or a SCENTED FUCKING CANDLE going so you don’t kill yourself. Unless you’re allergic, in which case use an UNSCENTED FUCKING CANDLE.)
But don’t worry about doing what you should do. Just hang in there until you can do what you can do. Nothing like adding guilt about not doing enough to abate your anxiety to make it worse.
You’re doing okay. You’re communicating, participating, and you still have a sense of humour. Those are all positives.
@Unimaginative
Not over stimulated, so much as when I’m feeling depressed it’s hard for me to work up the nerve to do anything and showers are always a pain cuz I take them late at night…
Anyway thanks:) And thanks everyone else too, you’re all really supportive and nice. I’m going to try to pry myself from manboobz and actually sleep, but be back later.
If anyone wants a cute photo:
http://www.lineolatedparakeet.net/forums/photoplog/images/22/1_P1040342-1024.jpg
My depression has been acting up lately, probably because of my friend attempting suicide. Though I did feel depressed a few days before then.
I have some personal stuff to share, although it’s about other people (if that makes sense at all).
Today I visited one of my friends up north and went to his birthday party. It was very lively, and his family was very cordial and polite. And it was clear to me that he really appreciated my visit.
I’m worried about him, though. He’s told me before that he uses benzos regularly for recreational purposes – he does have depression and generalized anxiety, but he’s taking more than he needs because he likes getting high on benzos. Because I had recently told him about the anxiety attack that happened to me yesterday, he actually offered some benzos for me even though 1) they were for him and 2) they weren’t prescribed for me. He was nice about it and didn’t try to pressure me in the slightest, but I’m worried about his attitude towards those drugs. I really hope he’s not hurting himself. I’m trying to think of ways to ask him to not take so many of those pills, but so far I’m not sure what to do because I also don’t want to upset him. I’m just torn.
And then there’s this young woman I know with whom I’ve been Facebook friends for quite some time. She has severe anxiety about a man she met two years ago and hasn’t seen or heard from since (and he has deliberately cut off all contact from her). She is extremely afraid of the possibility that she will never get a chance to have a relationship with him because she has a history of being cheated on and lied to by other boyfriends. And “extremely” is an apt word choice here because she literally gets anxiety attacks whenever I try to tell her that, even if she can’t have a relationship with him, she can find other good guys as well. On the flip-side, she also focuses to a great extent on any signs that he might still want to be with her (like the fact that he said that she and he should “take things slowly” prior to deleting his FB account).
I feel horrible because I don’t want to make it sound like I think that she should be absolutely certain that she has a good chance of being in a relationship with him. On the contrary, it looks very unlikely that they’ll ever get together. However, I also don’t want to hurt her feelings and trigger her anxiety once again. These days, I deliberately avoid talking to her because of the fear of not being able to actually help her, because talking to her is extremely emotionally draining, and because I fear the possibility of causing her distress if I ever say something that leads her to doubt in any way the possibility of her being this man’s partner. When I do talk to her these days, I focus purely on comforting her when she’s feeling anxious – when she brings up that man, I just try to ease her anxiety by telling her that she doesn’t need to worry, etc. But I don’t think that’s enough. I want to actually help her, not simply say only the things she likes to hear. And I want to do so without causing her any pain.
Does anyone here have any advice? It would be much appreciated.
@me
“I deliberately avoid talking to her most of the time”
fixed
For your guy friend, maybe you should gather information about benzos (what would happen if he OD’d, is it addictive etc.) and then explain why you are concerned about him?
As for the woman, I’m not sure there is anything you can do to help her, try avoiding/changing the subject if it that draining to you.
Whee, benzos! They’re a healthy staple of the Argenti breakfast! As in, I am completely dysfunctional without Ativan. So, you’d need A Lot to OD (trust me here, I tried) and yes, they’re addictive, and withdrawal is BAD. Like, seizures bad. So while you can’t OD without seriously trying, you can certainly do real damage withdrawing.
Note: idk about Xanax, it may have a short enough half life to actually OD. So check drugs.com for whatever his benzo of choice is.
And um, assuming you aren’t on anything // no other medical issues, I’d take the offer as a friendly gesture. But that’s mostly because street Xanax and I were friendly before I got my Ativan script.
As for your female friend, she, um, sounds a bit too stalker-ish. Maybe try getting to her into therapy on the principle that she’s clearly too upset by this?
Poop, the internet ate my reply!
Aaliyah, this sounds like way too much for you to be having to deal with – you or any friend of hers. Would it do any good to suggest your friend write to Captain Awkward, or at least read entries about similar situations? Because like Argenti said, she’s getting into stalkerish territory here. Anxiety attacks or no, bad experiences or no, she needs to get that the guy has said NOT INTERESTED by cutting off contact, and she has to take no for an answer!
For your own health, I’d suggest drawing away from her. You’ve quite enough to deal with, between family, job, school, etc, etc. This is no time to feel guilty about not being able to support someone else.