I know a lot of Man Boobz regulars have been dealing with a lot of rough stuff lately, so I’m opening this thread up to provide a (relatively) safe space to discuss them. No trolls allowed; any trolls who post here will be put on moderation and possibly banned. (Please notify me by email (my last name at well dot com) if there are inaproppriate comments; I get behind in reading comments here.)
Argenti, yay for your grandfather!
AJ, ::high five:: for getting those guys thinking!
Doomkitt3n – good luck with your kitty. It’s never easy.
And yay Weeboy! I’d still be keen for another Welly meetup if you are.
That hat makes it kind of tempting but knitting is the kind of activity that drives me to wanting to stab people instead. 😛 Mum tried to teach me when I was about 9 I think and I hated it… regretting my intense dislike of anything feminine like knitting and sewing now! Definitely doesn’t come naturally to me though; building stuff is easier and more fun.
Oh and yay Argenti too! ^_^
The Hyperbole and a Half is great.
TW: Suicide
I never get *completely* emotionless (I get to retain the fun ones like deep self-loathing) and suicidal thoughts happened a lot sooner than it sounds like in her, in a combination of fantasising about stabbing myself and desperately wanting to be able to die without hurting those around me with suicide. I am no longer actually suicidal but retain a kind of longing to not be alive.
/TW
Anyway, I enjoy her discussing such things in such a matter of fact way, plus it’s still funny. And on point. I love the part about “are you taunting me? Is this some weird game where you name all the things I can’t do?” and the pictures associated with “The syrupy, over-simplified optimism started to feel almost offensive.”
hrovitnir – righto, no knitting then!
It’s another example of how things change in their coding over the centuries – knitting wasn’t coded specifically male or female in the past, overall. It was something men and women would do for extra income, in the evenings or when they couldn’t be working the fields, or even while doing things like bird-scaring; one could be knitting on the go. Professional knitters (for fashion items like fine silk stockings) would, iirc, likely be men. It’s yet another of those things that lost credit as it became more identified with women.
Trivia: those professional knitters in the 18th century could do 200 stitches a minute. Mind-boggling.
Also trivia (but NOT a “try it, you’ll like it!” message): I couldn’t hack knitting as a kid, either, and as an adult wasn’t interested – it was too slow, and I wasn’t into knitwear anyway. Over the last few years I’ve got into it as my taste in clothes has expanded and Mr K has taken to wearing CABLES TO DIE FOR OMG. Not just wearing them, but knitting them, too. I took it up again ‘cos of him and now I enjoy it, though it’s very early days yet!
Oh dear. That trip to SF was pretty much the worst one ever so far. I wasn’t harmed in any way, but it was still awful.
At least now I’ve learned that 1) SF’s public transit can go to hell and 2) I am very bad at making easy-to-understand directions.
Maybe I’ll go there this Sunday, since I don’t have much school stuff to do for a while. ^_^
And I didn’t get to Castro today. In fact, I didn’t even have time to eat anything because I had problems with the public transit. 🙁 Next time things will be better, though.
So, I behaved very stupidly today. I should have leaned on the manboobzers but instead fell into the arms are someone who gives me the feels but, ultimately, hurts me a great deal. Wondering if it would be okay to air my grievances?
Totally OK to air grievances, marinerachel. Specifically what this thread is for, even. 🙂
That’s interesting – figures too. It’s a bit like babies: I never wanted children and tend to feel like like “nooo, don’t shove the mini breakable human at me” with babies, but it was and is massively exacerbated by the fact that I’m *expected* to want those things in such a big way.
200 stitches a minute is just ridiculous. O_O
I actually have worked with a lot of young women who knit, and I always found it amusing having veterinarians sit in the break room knitting. Relaxing because it uses just the right amount of brain cells to chill out. 🙂
I am totally useless at being productive and am still struggling with a “rut” that consists of my entire life (habits + depression and/or habits formed from depression, pretty mostly mentally healthy but it still feels impossible to do the things I want to do) and have a list of things I want to start doing… all of which are genuinely things I love and make me happier but I habitually fall into sleep in too late + drink too much coffee + drink no water + eat irregularly + go to bed too late + be sad about unproductivity. So basically there are SO MANY THINGS that sound AWESOME but I cannot add to my list. 😛
Love talking to you BTW. ^_^
🙁 Sympathies. That can be massively stressful.
marinerachel – seconding hrovitnir, air away! (Think of this thread as where one beats the dust out of the carpet.)
Aaliyah – agh, I’m sorry your trip turned out like that. 🙁
hrovitnir – that SUCKS majorly, having all that shit to deal with. Can I just say that … if you’re a vet, or vet tech, or whatever the correct name is for your job, you ARE productive? I’m not doing the “your worth is based on your work” or your output or whatever, just thinking that you’re HELPING ANIMALS and that’s fierce good work. I know it’s only part of your life and it doesn’t help with all the things you’re wanting to do and not doing, but it’s a fucking excellent thing to be doing anyway.
Hugs from me, and the Mister, if you want ’em.
*group hug*
I’m a vet nurse; same as Aussie. 🙂 Americans just have kennel assistants and vet techs and we’re closer to vet techs but not quite. And thank you.
I went back to uni this year doing biomedical science, with the plan of maybe doing vet eventually (working Saturdays still and covering holidays during my breaks). It took me two goes to finish my nursing cert and honestly, that course is easy. I am not studying more than what I do with my friends and I’m getting Cs and Bs which is (a) not what I should be getting and (b) not good enough to do vet.
Anyway. I am still feeling more functional than I ever was, so it’s good. Just gotta stick with it.
@Aaliyah I was entirely public transport dependent when I lived in SF, and I thought theirs was great, it’s very comprehensive. Buses can be intimidating if you’re not used to them, but try one of the light rail lines, it’s much easier to figure out where you get on and off, and most of them run down Market St. to the Castro.
I don’t knit, but I do crochet, I’ve made some really beautiful things. And a couple of my nerdy tv friends and I all have matching Jayne from Firefly hats, but from a crochet pattern rather than a knitted one.
I spin. I can’t crochet,and my joints won’t take the repetitive, small motions, of knitting anymore.
And I was always crap at counting stitches.
@amandajane5
In retrospect, I think the problem was not the bus system, but rather my total lack of familiarity with SF and its bus system. =P
RE: hrovitnir
Congrats on the vet tech work! That’s really cool.
RE: Hyperbole and a Half
I can only my hope my comics can hit the same level of horrible material made funny. (Though oh GOD I made a huge mistake trying to read that immediately after vomiting up more dissociated emotions.) Thankfully, depression is something I only… sorta get? Though the dissociation really wrecks it, so I have a really hard time telling what is actually there and what is just being numbed out by my brain.
I dunno. My brain is having trouble keeping things straight today.
David, you can go ahead and delete the above comment in moderation; I made some mistakes in entering my name and blog link. X_X
@LBT
I have both depression and dissociation, but they seem to work hand-in-hand, and in fact my dissociation is caused by my depression. It’s a very strange mixture of awfulness. And it’s why these days, I usually feel like I’m hopelessly going with the flow. I know that phrase “going with the flow” is usually positive, but right now for me it’s negative – if you know what I mean.
Also, that zine you posted earlier is awesome. Thank you for sharing it. And on a related note, I love your art style. ^_^
Like, the weird thing about the Hyperbole comic is that I only get like two thirds of it, up to and including “And the longer it takes to feel different, the more it starts to seem like everything might actually be hopeless bullshit.” and the panel that illustrates it.
That is an interesting thing to store away, actually. My knuckles and wrist get very achey doing repetitive small motions.
Thanks! I have been nursing for about 5-7 years depending on how you look at it. My unhealthy workplace kind of crushed my love of it out of me, but not working full time has pretty much fixed that.
And *hugs*. Gotta be careful reading that kind of stuff. I don’t always know my line and it’s not always good. I think just reading honest portrayals of mental illness can be carthartic even if it’s not something specifically I/you experience just because we’re constantly bombarded by negativity.
Also I have a new friend who’s been telling me about her sexual assaults. She’s never been able to tell anyone before. Her sexual experiences with men have ranged from coercive and traumatising to violent to cold and uncaring about her consent. She finds the idea of sex with a man who happily wears condoms and won’t keep fucking her when she’s in pain almost inconceivable. She finds it impossible not to blame herself for any of it. And is so ashamed.
It is making me even more angry at the revolting creatures that call themselves MRAs with their rape apology in even the most “moderate”.
That just breaks my heart. I wish I could give her a hug and tell her that there are many men out there that treat women right. And that she doesn’t have anything to be ashamed for.
Yeah, me too. I have too, but it’s going to take a very long time to make any dent. 🙁
Thank you for the kind words about my kitty. She is doing much better. I don’t believe it is her kidneys but since I gave fallen on hard times I can’t afford to take her to the vet. I think her main problem is constipation but um not really sure what to do about utility, if I give her too much wet food she has diarrhea. Poor thing. The last episode like this was a few months ago and wasn’t nearly as bad.
In other news, income support expects me to find a daycare by the end of the month and I really don’t want to put my baby into the care of strangers all day long yet. Not that I have the skills ti get a job where I can pay for rent and daycare anyways…
Ahhh. FYI, as they said, weight loss, drinking and peeing a lot, an often being off their food are signs of renal failure. Not much you can do about it, just lower protein diet and as much water as possible. There are supplements but they’re not a “fix”.
The other common old cat issue is hyperthyroid. They get skinny, lose coat condition, eat lots. Also high heart rate and blood pressure (thus it can actually help with renal issues). There are daily pills that will fix the problem completely, or one-off radioactive iodine treatment, but both are expensive. 🙁
In terms of constipation, if you really think she is you can get laxatives you inject into their anus (with lube!!) from the chemist (we use microlax but it’s probably branded differently overseas) that are cheap and work very well.
For helping things keep moving you could try some boiled rice mixed in with a little bit of wet and dry food, it could help. Good luck.
🙁 I hate the way such things are universally set up to fuck people over.
May I please vent a little? SO and I have been having a tough time lately. I don’t really want to get into details,as I sincerely hope it’s been worked out but it was some pretty serious, extremely stressful stuff. And, I’m also starting to be forced to process and deal with everything that happened last year. I repressed it successfully for a while, but it’s gotten to a point where it’s manifesting itself in destructive ways.
This has been going on for months and I’m to a point where I’m so worn out and consumed that I’m having a really hard time functioning. I don’t sleep well and have resorted to sleeping pills to get a few hours of rest. My chronic back pain has gotten really bad and I’ve developed peripheral neuropathy in my left hand. It’s probably a parting gift from the 2000 rads of radiation to my spinal cord, but it’s decided to pop up now. I can handle the very basics of life, but have started getting sloppy, mostly due to stress and fatigue. Last week, I lost a client, because I can’t focus. Last night, I backed into a cement barricade and trashed the bumper on my recently purchased car (more on that later…)
I don’t know what to do anymore. I have too mamy responsibilities to take time off for a vacation, no money for counseling and no insurance. I don’t have any friends thst I feel comfortable talking to because they either lack the cultural understanding or the discretion not to spill my business to everyone they know. I’m doing what I can to keep things together, but it’s not working.
The car seems trivial, but it was somethimg on the bucket list that I made last year when I was told that chemo wasn’t working, that my cancer was continuing to spread and that I was going to die. I wanted to go home one more time and I wanted a luxury car, like a BMW, Audi, Jaguar, etc.
A couple of months ago, we found a Mercedes that was almost an even trade for my truck, so I bought it and we’ve been restoring it little by little. And, my stupid self goes and trashes it. To add insult to injury, we were at the racetrack when it happened. I get enough crap about racing cars already. Now everyone can point to this and have evidence that I’m a bad driver. So embarassing.
Thanks for the space to whine a little.
Nova: I’m so sorry for what you’ve been going through lately! You’ve been having a really hard time, and deserve some comfort and relaxation. I’m sorry you’re not getting it right now. Whine here anytime.