Our dear friends over at A Voice for Men, the thought-leaders of the Glorious New Men’s Human Rights of The 21st Century Human Rights Movement With Girl Writes What (GNMHROT21CHRMWGWW) have been trying to introduce a new word into the vernacular, as part of their broad-based campaign for the betterment of human rights. That word? Rapetard.
While the portmanteau word has been floating around for some time, with assorted definitions, it took on its modern, human-rightsy definition in mid-April in a little-seen YouTube video by a fellow calling himself “Dick Magnum,” who defined it thusly:
An individual who, for reasons related to intellectual, emotional or moral deficits, cannot distinguish between questioning [the idea of] “rape culture” and supporting rape.
It was picked up in an AVFM post titled “Beware the Rapetard Society” about a week after that. Soon other AFVM writers seemed to forget Mr. Magnum’s careful definition, adopting it as their go-to epithet for feminists they don’t like. Which is pretty much all of them.
In a post having nothing to do with rape or rape culture, Paul Elam talked about “dumbing things down so that even a rapetard could understand.” In the comments to that post, AVFM contributor Dan Perrins joked about “rapetarded quote mining expedition[s].” And in a post yesterday, AVFM’s “Andy Bob” attacked Australian comedian Catherine Deveny for an assortment of alleged offenses against decency — including using the term “retard” – in a post that referred to her as a “rapetard” four times, including once in the title.
You might think that combining the word “rape” with an ableist slur –“tard” – and applying it liberally to feminist women would be a step backwards in the campaign for human rights, but apparently that’s old-fashioned twentieth century thinking on my part.
My brother and I live in a house that my father owns, I live upstairs, he lives downstairs, and I’m over here because I was running away from my parents, again, I’ve been living with them since recovering from my coma last year. Last time this happened my dad dragged me around by the neck of my sweatshirt and beat my head against the wall, I’m not really looking to get back together with them either. I’m checking in with my friend who I talked to last night after it happened, and I’m checking in with y’all.
My brother definitely has some issues, it’s being worked on. When he is good, he is very very good, and when he is bad he is horrid.
@AJ: Jesus Christ, your situation sounds horrible. Internet Jedi hugs!
I’m an atheist, but I’d like to take a moment to bless my neighbor who leaves their wireless open.
AJ, hugs, and such emotional support as I can offer.
Sorry about your situation AJ. I hope it gets better somehow.
AJ — I’m not your neighbor with the open wireless, but I did that in my first apt. And as someone who did it in hopes someone who needed internet got to use it, I’ll speak for your neighbor and say we’re glad you have internet 🙂 (hacker code of ethics stuff, the flip side to dox’ing banks and such is that ‘net should be available to all)
And I’m glad you’re still doing as well as can be expected after taking a chair to the head. And that your brother is getting the help he seriously needs.
AJ, you should still go to the doctor!
Ouch.
Get well, much better. Emotional support.
aj, sorry you’re in such a rough situation, get better! And thanks for checking in!
Still going, and Argenti and my lovely neighbors, many thanks to you. My head still really hurts, but aspirin and an ice pack have made a difference.
AJ, I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through.
Don’t take anymore aspirin if you think you might have a concussion though. It thins the blood and if there is bleeding in your brain, it will make it worse. It sucks to have to suffer through without painkillers, but you really don’t want to risk making a brain bleed worse. You want to be really careful for at least 72 hours after a blow to the head (more if you have symptoms).
I’m not a doctor but I am certified in wilderness first aid and CPR, and have suffered multiple concussions myself so I know a decent amount about them. Sorry if the advice is unwanted but I am worried about you.
I’m pretty sure I don’t, but I’m staying up regardless, and aspirin is a hard one for me, I take it daily for the express purpose of thinning my blood, I had two pulmonary emboli ten years ago, I know that’s why I bleed longer and bruise like you wouldn’t believe.
I’m starting to notice pain that’s not head-related, like my left shoulder, does this mean I’m out of the woods? Anyone?
AJ: Best wishes, and sorry you’re having to deal with all of this. Since you say you have half the house, do you have someone you can trust who would make a decent flat-mate? Someone like that around could also help keep your brother on a tighter leash, or help you when things get bad.
Just saying hi, don’t want to take this to another thread, but thanks y’all.
AJ, I’m sorry I haven’t responded. I really appreciate you continuing to check in as I have been thinking of you. Life has just gotten in the way…been reading on my phone but haven’t been able to post.
Re the pulmonary embolism: just for future reference, aspirin is *really* bad to take after a head injury. I don’t know enough about aftercare to give advice on whether it is riskier to avoid the aspirin for a couple of days or not in your case, but it’s something to consider. If you can safely skip aspirin for 2 or 3 days in an urgent situation, then you probably want to just in case. I just don’t know.
And it isn’t just the blood thinning that is a problem, although that is the major concern. This ties into your question…head pain can be an indicator that things are bad, or worsening. If your headache gets worse or doesn’t abate after a few hours, it is really important to get to a medical professional [keep in mind that head pain does not always occur with serious head injuries…it is just one possible symptom]. Painkillers can mask that.
I believe, without going back to check timestamps, that this has happened within the last 24-48 hours, correct? If so, you are not out of the woods yet, although lessened head pain is a good sign. Are you talking to your friends on the phone, and are they making sure you’re aware of what’s going on (that means quizzing you on basic facts, asking the same basic questions repeatedly to make sure you give the same answers every time, being on the lookout for red flags like you repeatedly asking the same question, confusion, etc.)? If you are doing that and they’re not seeing any problems, then you may be okay.
HOWEVER, every medical resource I have ever seen advises caution for a minimum of 72 hours, plus at least 2 weeks of avoiding any other possible head injuries (if you do get another knock to the head in the next couple of weeks, PLEASE go to a doctor even if it seems mild). The problem is that these things can take awhile to manifest, and you don’t know until you know. Think of Natasha Richardson as a famous case…she was checked out by people who weren’t doctors but had training and thought to be okay, but still died due to her head injury. I’m really not normally one to advise a rush to the doctor (I’ve had bad experiences myself, don’t trust ’em unless I know them), but head injuries are just so hard to evaluate and often the sufferer is physically incapable of accurately assessing their own condition, unlike other injuries. So again, I just want to make that clear. I don’t think I’d be so worried about you if you weren’t going this alone, because the nature of head injuries makes you incapable of assessing your own risk if your brain has been affected.
So no, you’re not out of the woods yet, although signs are looking good. Keep having any safe friends or family check on you regularly if possible, at least for another day or two. Err on the side of caution here. Many blows to the head (whether accidental or intentional) don’t result in brain injuries, but you can’t accurately tell which is which without a lot of sophisticated equipment and your head is not something to mess around with. I suffered a brain injury about a decade ago that was mild by general standards (there was a decent amount of force but I was wearing a protective helmet), and I still deal with its effects (although they are mild now). I had to be forced to go to the doctor when mine happened, because I was sure I was fine, but I could have died without treatment (I also had three broken verterbrae that I thought were fine, among other injuries…). So seriously, between personal experience and my first responder training, I really have to emphasize the dangers of even a mild blow to the head. I’m not trying to scare you but I really worry that you may have had a brain injury and don’t realize it. Not all blows to the head cause a head injury, but the person who suffered the injury isn’t necessarily capable of assessing that.
It’s been 49.5 hours now, I’m no longer bleeding, and my brother is so terrified after seeing me with blood pouring down my face that he swears he’s never drinking again. Bought me groceries and is checking in regularly, through a locked door. I’m also bugging several of my friends on facebook, the one I called after it happened, and I think I found my best friend from summer camp, but I went to a camp for girls, and I think she’s a he now, and that’s why no one could find zir. If you find someone with the same hometown, same age, same middle initial, and same name, but different gender, wouldn’t you assume you found the same person?
AJ — glad you’re doing well, and I hope your brother means it about not drinking again. Also, might as well ask the person something akin to “hey, did you go to XYZ camp?”, just don’t ask anything like “hey, did you used to be a girl?” (which I don’t think you would) and I don’t see any harm in asking. Well, none besides the “might be asking a total stranger” part.
I sent a message, with my real name, saying “Hey, is that you? We miss you!”
Best of luck then!
I really hope that’s the case, and best of luck to him. On the other hand, as a recovering alcoholic? I’ll believe it when I see it. That is much easier said than done, and if he’s serious, he’s going to need support – NOT you, or any of his other victims, but rehab or a support group or even AA (I’m not a fan, but it did help me get sober, so…)
Just remember that none of it is your problem, except when it comes to keeping yourself safe from him. I’m glad things have calmed down a bit, though, and good luck finding your friend.
Oh, he’s a lying liar who lies, but generally feels bad after doing something awful for a month or two.
62 hours.
My other friend, we were sort of a threesome, thinks she’s found an address a couple of blocks away from where she lives, so she’s being my feet on the ground. I’ll be so excited if this is zir!
Sounds about right. :-/ I’m sorry you have to live with that shit.
I’m over 72 hours now! I never know why people say this isn’t a supportive community. Seriously. And that’s real.