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The Myth of Warren Farrell: Farrell on Rape, Part One

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No book has had more influence over the Men’s Rights movement than Warren Farrell’s The Myth of Male Power. Published in 1993, in the heyday of the early 90s antifeminist backlash, it set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement as it’s developed over the last two decades.  He’s the one who came up with the notions of “male disposability” and the “death professions.” He’s the one who got MRAs fixated on the issue of draft registration.

Indeed, so pervasive has his influence been that if you see an MRA making a dumb argument anywhere on the Internet, the chances are probably more than 50-50 that it originated in the pages of Farrell’s book. Despite its age, and its eccentricity, The Myth of Male Power is still the first book recommended to MRA newbies in the sidebar of the Men’s Rights subreddit, the most active MRA hangout online.

It’s a book that deserves a lot more attention than I have been giving it on this blog. Sure, I’ve written about Farrell’s strange and creepy notions about incest, as set forth in a notorious interview in Penthouse in the 1970s, and about his recent attempts to explain away these views. But I haven’t devoted any blog posts to his most influential work. I intend to rectify that now, with a series of posts on some of Farrell’s chief arguments and assertions.

I will start with several posts on Farrell’s views on rape, which has been the subject of much controversy of late. This part will deal with his general statements on rape and sexuality; another will explore in more detail his views on date rape (did he really describe it as “exciting?”); and still another will look at the vast assortment of things he has inappropriately compared to rape.

Pinning down what Farrell “really believes” about rape – and indeed, about almost anything– is difficult. Farrell’s arguments, such as they are, are slippery and evasive. Instead of setting forth a clear argument about rape, Farrell instead provides us with a series of jumbled metaphors and strange comparisons. Instead of trying to summarize them – many of them defy summary — let’s just go through them one by one.

Farrell supporters will likely suggest that these quotes are taken “out of context,” to which I can only say: Check his book to see for yourself. None of his troubling quotes are any less troubling, or for that matter any clearer, in context, and many don’t have much of a context. Farrell writes in a rambling, free-associational style, and many of the “arguments” he makes in the following quotes seem to come from out of the blue, and are never developed further (though some, as you will see, are referenced again in later quotes).

Page numbers given are from the 1993 hardcover edition of The Myth of Male Power.

All that out of the way, let’s jump right in:

Near the start of his book , Farrell sets the tone for what will come by suggesting that men suffer as much sexual trauma from women’s mixed signals as women do from rape:

Feminism has taught women to sue men for sexual harassment or date rape when men initiate with the wrong person or with the wrong timing; no one has taught men to sue women for sexual trauma for saying “yes,” then “no,” then “yes.” … Men [are] still expected to initiate, but now, if they [do] it badly, they could go to jail. (p. 16)

Here, he elaborates on the notion that rape is a matter of bad timing, of “tak[ing] risks too quickly.”

In the past, both sexes were anxious about sex and pregnancy. Now the pill minimizes her anxiety and condoms increase his. Now the pimple faced boy must still risk rejection while also overcoming his own fear of herpes and AIDS and reassuring her there is nothing to fear. He must still do the sexual risk-taking, but now he can be put in jail if he takes risks too quickly or be called a wimp if he doesn’t take them quickly enough . (p. 168)

Here, Farrell falls back on the old “rape is misunderstanding” canard, and somehow manages to compare sexual activity –- from kissing up to and including rape — to eating a bag of potato chips.

It is also possible for a woman to go back to a man’s room, tell him she doesn’t want to have intercourse, mean it, start kissing, have intercourse, and then wish she hadn’t in the morning. How? Kissing is like eating potato chips. Before we know it, we’ve gone further than we said we would. (p. 311)

Here, he seems to seriously suggest that juries could do a better job judging rape cases if they were sexually aroused.

The problem with every judgment of sexual behavior is that it is made by people who aren’t being stimulated as they are making the judgment. A jury that sees a woman in a sterile courtroom, asks her what she wanted, and then assumes that anything else she did was the responsibility of the man is insulting not only the woman but the power of sex. (p. 312)

And then he returns to the potato chip metaphor.

A man being sued after a woman has more sex than intended is like Lay’s being sued after someone has more potato chips than intended. In brief, date rape can be a crime, a misunderstanding, or buyer’s remorse. (p. 312)

Farrell repeatedly tries to absolve men of sexual wrongdoing by suggesting that they are literally intoxicated by female beauty.

Sexually, of course, the sexes aren’t equal. It is exactly a woman’s greater sexual power that often makes a man so fearful of being rejected by her that he buys himself drinks to reduce his fear. In essence, her sexual power often leads to him drinking; his sexual power rarely leads to her drinking. If anything is evidence of her power over him, it is his being expected to spend his money to buy her drinks without her reciprocating.  …

It is  men – far more than women – whose mental capacities are diminished when they are “under the influence” of a beautiful woman. (p. 320)

But Farrell thinks it’s “sexist” – against men – to put men in jail for “selling sex” to intoxicated women:

As long as society tells men to be the salespersons of sex, it is sexist for society to put only men in jail if they sell well. We don’t put other salespersons in jail for buying clients drinks and successfully transforming a “no” into a “maybe” into a “yes.” If the client makes a choice to drink too much and the “yes” turns out to be a bad decision, it is the client who gets fired, not the salesperson.  (p. 321)

We’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of Warren Farrell’s equally daft and disturbing views on sex and rape. Stay tuned.

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Pear_tree
Pear_tree
11 years ago

I think that in society “too drunk to consent” is used to imply a misunderstanding while in reality rapists behave in a malicious way, using their partners’ inability to fight them off. The rapist uses the fact that we don’t like to admit that we expect the victim to object, and that if the victim doesn’t object the encounter is considered consensual.

Sorry if I was unclear, I am tired tonight. I also can’t use commas.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

We snobby feminists have clearly infiltrated the dog training world as well.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

How very dare you avoid the issue, the extremely important issue, of the expression on womens faces when they are acting on teevee or in the movies.

Nova
Nova
11 years ago

Wow. It’s been a really long time since I’ve been around! WAY too much going on.

You know, it’s not hard to NOT rape someone. If alcohol is involved, it’s very easy to say “Hey, are you ok with what we’re doing?” If there’s a negative or unclear response… stop. It’s easy. It’s also easy to just stop until you’re sure that your sex partner is coherent enough to give positive consent. Then again, I care about the wants and feelings of the person that I’m having sex with. In some ways, more than I care about my own wants and feelings. I can easily put them aside until I’m sure that my potential sex partner is willing.

The issue here is that, to an MRA, his boner is more important than the rights and feelings of his sex partner.

The sad part is that, I give men a lot more credit than the father of the MRA movement gives them. Really, if he believes that men are unable to control themselves around women, to the point that they can’t help but rape said woman… that’s a very sad statement as to his opinion of the mental capacity of men in general.

Also, alcohol tolerance varies. I can drink a fifth and will still have the mental capacity to understand what’s going on and consent to something. A good friend of mine has one shot and she’s completely incoherent. The amount of alcohol consumed means very little, as to whether someone can give consent.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Female Propaganda is everywhere. The Feminists are fuelling hatred for Women inside Men.

I read that and wondered who are these women who are inside men? Is it like the Telesecta?

Pear_tree
Pear_tree
11 years ago

Alex, that is what I meant.

Derick
Derick
11 years ago

@archaeoholmes

I referred to it empirically. Even if one Man is in charge of the entire organization, that organization still functions based upon the wishes of the Female audience, and not the Male audience.

If one observes closely, one would find incessant Female propaganda, that glorifies Women at the expense of Men, and the saddest most Pathetic part is, Men are being indoctrinated :Brainwashed, every single day!

Whether a Man is the owner, or a Woman, is irrelevant. What is relevant is what it Portrays. What it portrays is NOTHING but Feminism.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Catwoman, you really aren’t making yourself any clearer. What is your problem? You’re talking as if everyone here is saying any sex where anyone’s had any alcohol is rape, which is a load of tosh. What, exactly, is your complaint? That last comment was such a wall of text it made my eyes glaze over.

Angle brackets will do blockquotes for you.

SpleenyBaggage
SpleenyBaggage
11 years ago

This:

“Has anyone noticed the Snobbish “I am better than you” look on the Women’s faces, in almost every American TV show or Movie?”

Gotta say, I was having a bit of a crummy day up ’til now. My pod-sharing co-workers are away sick today, and I was feeling a bit bored and neglected and low. Then along comes Derick, I had a big hearty laugh-out-loud, and my day has improved exponentially. Thanks, Derick!

Oh, and no, I haven’t noticed that look, because it’s not actually a real thing. And THAT’S real.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Derik who I strongly suspect is a sock:

Citation Fucking Needed for every stupid claim you just made.

Fade
11 years ago

But I just want to say @David, thank you for this beautiful blog collection, I love it and I will continue reading banned or not. It always makes my day 🙂

Um, you can relax, it takes a lot to get banned.

The thing I think people are about* is that there is a much more common narrative in the media that if you get drunk and someone rapes you, it was your fault for getting drunk, than there is the reverse (that all drunk sex is rape). I mean, I’m uncomfortable even talking about this cuz I’ve already mentioned I have zero experience being drunk, but I think most people know what rape is, and rapists and rape apologists work to obfusciate the point.

*think b/c we’re not a hivemind. =P

Kittehserf
11 years ago

G’day Spleeny! 🙂

Alex
11 years ago

“who are these women who are inside men?”

I think it’s like man-suits.

Fade
11 years ago

I referred to it empirically. Even if one Man is in charge of the entire organization, that organization still functions based upon the wishes of the Female audience, and not the Male audience.

It looks like you are missing both logic and citations, Derrick. How do you know that things funciton based on a female audience?

If one observes closely, one would find incessant Female propaganda, that glorifies Women at the expense of Men

Since there is so much of this female propaganda, it would be very easy to provide us with an example.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Catwoman: you’d have to work a lot harder to get banned.

Derick: What TV are you watching? I’ve got a lot of channels, but I’m not seeing all these feminist shows. Do I need a tinfoil hat for them to come in right?

Catwoman
Catwoman
11 years ago

@Maude

Sorry, after composing my reply I read your story. I don’t think you just understand what i mean. i never said it was the victims fault. sorry if you take it this way. i was raped twice. once when i was sobber and hung out with a guy at a camping space while the rest of the group went to the lake. he pushed me to the ground and i couldn’t get out. another time was at a good friend’s house after we drank moonshine and i blacked out at 6 (passed out not blacked out), i remember getting into bed and falling asleep. i woke up at 2pm with him having sex with me. i consider those situations to be rape. i also consider that if someone doesn’t give consent when drunk they are raped as well
and i understand nobody believing. i never even went to police, my friend already didn’t believe it.i never felt it was my fault but as a neighborhood slut i decided to just stay away from legal system to not get more trouble.
And it has to change. i think we either see the change in a different way ormisunderstand each other? in any case we don’t have to discuss it if you don’t want to.

SpleenyBaggage
SpleenyBaggage
11 years ago

Howdy Kitteh! 😀

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Troll, TV is just TV. Actors playing parts. Has anyone ever died because someone on TV flashed a “snobby” look?
And if you insist TV has some bearing on real life, well, so what? Did some cheerleader somewhere not pay attention to you? She’s not a character in you head, noob, she’s too busy having her own thoughts, doing her own thing, tending to her own hang-ups to stop and ego stroke every stranger who passes by. Christ, you sound like an entitled brat.

Oh, and I’d love to see all the citations about women owning and controlling all media. That sort of information has to be made public, you know. It’s on you to present the citations that prove you’re weak-ass claim.

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
11 years ago

@Derick Okay, so your answer is “none”.
You are misusing the word “empirically”.
You are still making vague, unsupported claims.
I don’t even know exactly where all this is supposed to be happening – but I’m assuming you mean programmes you watch on television. Your subjective experience of some television shows you remember, which pissed you off because they didn’t conform to your expectation of gender roles… is a shit basis for an argument.

katz
11 years ago

Here’s one of those TV women with her man-denigrating facial expression.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

“who are these women who are inside men?”

I think it’s like man-suits.

Or maybe it’s telepathy!

… nah, that can’t be right, I get glimpses in Mr K’s head when he’s sharing stuff we did at Home, and I don’t think anyone hates me for it.

Has anyone ever died because someone on TV flashed a “snobby” look?

Actors having expressions while acting is totally like being spat on! It is killing men! Misandry!!1!!eleventy!!

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Ohhhh, look at that kitty’s disdainful mug!

katz
11 years ago

Troll, TV is just TV. Actors playing parts. Has anyone ever died because someone on TV flashed a “snobby” look?

Meh, I’m not in love with this line of reasoning because it gets brought up a lot in response to feminist media criticism. And, in a sense, it boils down to “you aren’t allowed to complain about TV.”

jonatma420
jonatma420
11 years ago

But Farrell thinks it’s “sexist” – against men – to put men in jail for “selling sex” to intoxicated women.

I talked her into it and she said YES your honor………I plead guilty.

Your “logic” sucks kittin boy.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Hey, that blue cat looks just like my Boudica, my Boudica’s beautiful 🙂

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