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The Myth of Warren Farrell: Farrell on Rape, Part One

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No book has had more influence over the Men’s Rights movement than Warren Farrell’s The Myth of Male Power. Published in 1993, in the heyday of the early 90s antifeminist backlash, it set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement as it’s developed over the last two decades.  He’s the one who came up with the notions of “male disposability” and the “death professions.” He’s the one who got MRAs fixated on the issue of draft registration.

Indeed, so pervasive has his influence been that if you see an MRA making a dumb argument anywhere on the Internet, the chances are probably more than 50-50 that it originated in the pages of Farrell’s book. Despite its age, and its eccentricity, The Myth of Male Power is still the first book recommended to MRA newbies in the sidebar of the Men’s Rights subreddit, the most active MRA hangout online.

It’s a book that deserves a lot more attention than I have been giving it on this blog. Sure, I’ve written about Farrell’s strange and creepy notions about incest, as set forth in a notorious interview in Penthouse in the 1970s, and about his recent attempts to explain away these views. But I haven’t devoted any blog posts to his most influential work. I intend to rectify that now, with a series of posts on some of Farrell’s chief arguments and assertions.

I will start with several posts on Farrell’s views on rape, which has been the subject of much controversy of late. This part will deal with his general statements on rape and sexuality; another will explore in more detail his views on date rape (did he really describe it as “exciting?”); and still another will look at the vast assortment of things he has inappropriately compared to rape.

Pinning down what Farrell “really believes” about rape – and indeed, about almost anything– is difficult. Farrell’s arguments, such as they are, are slippery and evasive. Instead of setting forth a clear argument about rape, Farrell instead provides us with a series of jumbled metaphors and strange comparisons. Instead of trying to summarize them – many of them defy summary — let’s just go through them one by one.

Farrell supporters will likely suggest that these quotes are taken “out of context,” to which I can only say: Check his book to see for yourself. None of his troubling quotes are any less troubling, or for that matter any clearer, in context, and many don’t have much of a context. Farrell writes in a rambling, free-associational style, and many of the “arguments” he makes in the following quotes seem to come from out of the blue, and are never developed further (though some, as you will see, are referenced again in later quotes).

Page numbers given are from the 1993 hardcover edition of The Myth of Male Power.

All that out of the way, let’s jump right in:

Near the start of his book , Farrell sets the tone for what will come by suggesting that men suffer as much sexual trauma from women’s mixed signals as women do from rape:

Feminism has taught women to sue men for sexual harassment or date rape when men initiate with the wrong person or with the wrong timing; no one has taught men to sue women for sexual trauma for saying “yes,” then “no,” then “yes.” … Men [are] still expected to initiate, but now, if they [do] it badly, they could go to jail. (p. 16)

Here, he elaborates on the notion that rape is a matter of bad timing, of “tak[ing] risks too quickly.”

In the past, both sexes were anxious about sex and pregnancy. Now the pill minimizes her anxiety and condoms increase his. Now the pimple faced boy must still risk rejection while also overcoming his own fear of herpes and AIDS and reassuring her there is nothing to fear. He must still do the sexual risk-taking, but now he can be put in jail if he takes risks too quickly or be called a wimp if he doesn’t take them quickly enough . (p. 168)

Here, Farrell falls back on the old “rape is misunderstanding” canard, and somehow manages to compare sexual activity –- from kissing up to and including rape — to eating a bag of potato chips.

It is also possible for a woman to go back to a man’s room, tell him she doesn’t want to have intercourse, mean it, start kissing, have intercourse, and then wish she hadn’t in the morning. How? Kissing is like eating potato chips. Before we know it, we’ve gone further than we said we would. (p. 311)

Here, he seems to seriously suggest that juries could do a better job judging rape cases if they were sexually aroused.

The problem with every judgment of sexual behavior is that it is made by people who aren’t being stimulated as they are making the judgment. A jury that sees a woman in a sterile courtroom, asks her what she wanted, and then assumes that anything else she did was the responsibility of the man is insulting not only the woman but the power of sex. (p. 312)

And then he returns to the potato chip metaphor.

A man being sued after a woman has more sex than intended is like Lay’s being sued after someone has more potato chips than intended. In brief, date rape can be a crime, a misunderstanding, or buyer’s remorse. (p. 312)

Farrell repeatedly tries to absolve men of sexual wrongdoing by suggesting that they are literally intoxicated by female beauty.

Sexually, of course, the sexes aren’t equal. It is exactly a woman’s greater sexual power that often makes a man so fearful of being rejected by her that he buys himself drinks to reduce his fear. In essence, her sexual power often leads to him drinking; his sexual power rarely leads to her drinking. If anything is evidence of her power over him, it is his being expected to spend his money to buy her drinks without her reciprocating.  …

It is  men – far more than women – whose mental capacities are diminished when they are “under the influence” of a beautiful woman. (p. 320)

But Farrell thinks it’s “sexist” – against men – to put men in jail for “selling sex” to intoxicated women:

As long as society tells men to be the salespersons of sex, it is sexist for society to put only men in jail if they sell well. We don’t put other salespersons in jail for buying clients drinks and successfully transforming a “no” into a “maybe” into a “yes.” If the client makes a choice to drink too much and the “yes” turns out to be a bad decision, it is the client who gets fired, not the salesperson.  (p. 321)

We’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of Warren Farrell’s equally daft and disturbing views on sex and rape. Stay tuned.

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hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Catwoman might want to lurk more.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

Wildly insensitive choice of first comment :-/. Have a care for anyone reading this who might have been raped while drunk and is now reading the same apologetics for it that they receive from all sorts of sources.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

Which is not to say that no one can consent while drunk. Just that the rape of drunk people is conflated — deliberately — with consensual drunk sex all the time, and when you talk about feminists considering “all drunk sex rape,” you’re doing it too.

Bee
Bee
11 years ago

Also, if both people are equally drunk, surely one cannot be considered more guilty than the other?

If one person is able to physically control the other person to the point where they’re raping them, it’s not really clear that these two people are equally drunk.

Maude LL
Maude LL
11 years ago

From what I gather, the idea that sex with a drunk person is usually a reply to guys saying that they don’t know the difference between rape and not-rape. MRAs love to mention Asperger’s in these cases, as if it afflicts all men.
Bottom line, if you have to ask yourself: “might this be rape?” just don’t do it, or clarify things until that question is out of the way. If you rape and don’t even ask yourself the question, you’re an asshole or you need to go through “human relationships for dummies” (their title, not mine) once more.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Enthusiastic consent, Catwoman – ever heard of it?

Maude LL
Maude LL
11 years ago

My typing skills are messed up today (it’s my O.D.D.!). Previous comment, first sentence, “is rape” was supposed to be between “drunk person” and “is usually”.
God, that sounds sleazy. I can almost hear the “well it’s not rape-rape” trope.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Hey lovelies. 🙂

Soooo….’interesting’ first comment @catwoman, er…

@freemage, very succinct comment, could never have put it so well 🙂 The gynocracy salutes you, I can say this, as a feminist, I represent us all 🙂

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

….and apparently I represent us all with a surfeit of smilies..must desist..must desist..

Kittehserf
11 years ago

G’day ophelia! How’s your day going?

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Hey, we’re like kitties, who smile a lot. Evilly, but they still smile. 😉

Briznecko
Briznecko
11 years ago

And you will find many many judges and DAs who agree with you, Catwoman. And those judges and DAs and thinking along the same lines as you, where they listen to what the rapist has to say and discount the victim’s story. Meanwhile, in reality we’ve got a plastered, talking woman who says no and tries to push her rapist off of her, but she’s too drunk to (1) fight the rapist off and (2) remember a coherent story of what happened that evening. Because of this, the rapist rapes her and she is left with a story that doesn’t sound credible enough to convict the rapist.

I know it’s a litte earlier in the thread, but this need to be highlighted, underlined, bolded, and embroidered. It’s not about YOU (hypothetical/Catwoman) but about changing the overall dynamic that automatically believes the rapist. Remember the NY cops who raped a woman they were escorting home? They were aquitted because she was drunk.

ArchaeoHolmes
ArchaeoHolmes
11 years ago

@David. Thanks so much for this. Farrell needs examining. I read Myth of Male Power recently, and, although I knew I wouldn’t agree with it, I was sincerely shocked at just how flawed it is as an argument.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Mornin’, ArchaeoHolmes! 🙂

Maude LL
Maude LL
11 years ago

What Briznecko said.
(Sorry, personal story involving rape coming up. This topic is so messed up)

Clearly enough young women blame themselves for being raped while drunk and just let it go. It’s happened to me when I was 17 (with a 30 something man), while i was drunk, i remember saying no several times, and struggling. The next day, I googled ways to reduce likelihood of pregnancy and all I could find was sticking some vitamin c up there, which I did (sounds like bullshit to me now). For years, I thought it was my fault. People found out, called me a slut and tried to have sex with me based on this event. I just can’t see how the “oh, it so inconvenient to have to give consent” worth keeping in order for less of this to happen. As I wrote earlier, even after this, I had a cat woman-like attitude to rape for a few years. I still believe that going to the cops would have been useless.

This needs to change. Seriously.

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
11 years ago

Hey kittehserf! Hope you’re having a lovely day. It is freezing here.

Briznecko
Briznecko
11 years ago

Jedi Hugs Maude LL!

I believe it is time for some kitties.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

It was really cold this morning here, too, but it’s a beautiful autumn day – we’ve had some corkers lately. Though being weekdays, they’ve just meant we sit grousing at work about being at work. 😉

Mr K wrote a diary entry yesterday! He says Hi, btw.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Hey @Kitteh, my day’s pretty much ended, it being 1.50am here. (Smiley)

How’s your day going? Isn’t everything upside down there? I mean, maybe that’s why you kept spilling your tea the other night. (Note, I am off smilies, but if I weren’t, there would definitely be one here.) (Oh nearly did another one there, no, naughty, no smilies for me.)

You see, my hippy groove is expressed through my smilies. Although I realise that is totally at odds with my feminist collective evil and we all know we’re all uptight and definitely have no sense of humour. I’m totally conflicted man. (Hippy vibe there, although definitely sexist.)

See without the emoticons life is just drab and unfriendly, I is now sad.
(Note, did not use a frowny.)

Oh, bugger, see now the parentheses have totally taken over, poo, poo, poo.

So that’s no emoticons and no parentheses.

But then people might actually understand what I’m trying to say…and then they might realise that I make no sense, wait, is that a paradox?

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
11 years ago

@kittehserf
Ooh, will go and read that. Say “hi” for me.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Maude LL, all the hugs, if you want them. I’m really getting the vibe from Catwoman of “Hey, I have drunk sex and like it, people should stop talking about it, they’re being mean meanies about MY sex life” – no nuance, like CassandraSaid.

ophelia – “I mean, maybe that’s why you kept spilling your tea the other night. ”

CURSE YOU GRAVITY WHY WHYYYYYY

Kittehserf
11 years ago

ArchaeoHolmes – he just did a sort of bow-from-the-shoulders-up* thing backatcha. 🙂

*sitting down and can’t be bothered standing up

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
11 years ago

@kittehserf I like that. There should be more courteous bowing – even if it is sitting down.

Alex
11 years ago

Hi everyone!

David, I’m so glad you’re taking this bullshit on. The first MRA I ever ran into told me to read The Myth of Male Power. I looked at the wikipedia page instead and found that he thinks unemployment is the male equivalent of rape.

Also, question: what does one do when two of one’s male friends are MRA sympathizers (probably MRAs themselves, but I haven’t seen them self-identify)? I’m not super close to these guys, but one’s a former neighbour and the other is an old high school friend I just recently got back into contact with. I post a lot of feminist stuff to facebook and for the last almost year, both of them have been defending the MRM and been using their talking points. They don’t know each other either, so it’s odd that I know two of them. :/

In better news, though, my sister broke up with her abusive boyfriend for the fourth time, and as it’s been a month or so, I think it’s for good this time. 😀

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

T.W.
@Maude LL, so sorry love, when I posted my silly comment I had not refreshed my screen so did not see your comment, feel like an arse now, sorry.

Anyway, so sorry, I haven’t had the same experience as you, but was sexually abused, I blamed myself for years (still do mostly), you’re very brave to talk about it so openly. I know I’m finding it hard typing this, I’m not brave.

I’m so sorry that that happened to you, I know I’m not expressing it well, but, you know, I do funny mostly, serious not so much.

Anyway, so many hugs and sorry again. Is there a tears emoticon? That would probably be good right now.
Christ that sounds shit, sorry, so bad at this. Please forgive this if it sounds stupid but if you can be so brave then I can at least give it a go.

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