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The Myth of Warren Farrell: Farrell on Rape, Part One

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No book has had more influence over the Men’s Rights movement than Warren Farrell’s The Myth of Male Power. Published in 1993, in the heyday of the early 90s antifeminist backlash, it set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement as it’s developed over the last two decades.  He’s the one who came up with the notions of “male disposability” and the “death professions.” He’s the one who got MRAs fixated on the issue of draft registration.

Indeed, so pervasive has his influence been that if you see an MRA making a dumb argument anywhere on the Internet, the chances are probably more than 50-50 that it originated in the pages of Farrell’s book. Despite its age, and its eccentricity, The Myth of Male Power is still the first book recommended to MRA newbies in the sidebar of the Men’s Rights subreddit, the most active MRA hangout online.

It’s a book that deserves a lot more attention than I have been giving it on this blog. Sure, I’ve written about Farrell’s strange and creepy notions about incest, as set forth in a notorious interview in Penthouse in the 1970s, and about his recent attempts to explain away these views. But I haven’t devoted any blog posts to his most influential work. I intend to rectify that now, with a series of posts on some of Farrell’s chief arguments and assertions.

I will start with several posts on Farrell’s views on rape, which has been the subject of much controversy of late. This part will deal with his general statements on rape and sexuality; another will explore in more detail his views on date rape (did he really describe it as “exciting?”); and still another will look at the vast assortment of things he has inappropriately compared to rape.

Pinning down what Farrell “really believes” about rape – and indeed, about almost anything– is difficult. Farrell’s arguments, such as they are, are slippery and evasive. Instead of setting forth a clear argument about rape, Farrell instead provides us with a series of jumbled metaphors and strange comparisons. Instead of trying to summarize them – many of them defy summary — let’s just go through them one by one.

Farrell supporters will likely suggest that these quotes are taken “out of context,” to which I can only say: Check his book to see for yourself. None of his troubling quotes are any less troubling, or for that matter any clearer, in context, and many don’t have much of a context. Farrell writes in a rambling, free-associational style, and many of the “arguments” he makes in the following quotes seem to come from out of the blue, and are never developed further (though some, as you will see, are referenced again in later quotes).

Page numbers given are from the 1993 hardcover edition of The Myth of Male Power.

All that out of the way, let’s jump right in:

Near the start of his book , Farrell sets the tone for what will come by suggesting that men suffer as much sexual trauma from women’s mixed signals as women do from rape:

Feminism has taught women to sue men for sexual harassment or date rape when men initiate with the wrong person or with the wrong timing; no one has taught men to sue women for sexual trauma for saying “yes,” then “no,” then “yes.” … Men [are] still expected to initiate, but now, if they [do] it badly, they could go to jail. (p. 16)

Here, he elaborates on the notion that rape is a matter of bad timing, of “tak[ing] risks too quickly.”

In the past, both sexes were anxious about sex and pregnancy. Now the pill minimizes her anxiety and condoms increase his. Now the pimple faced boy must still risk rejection while also overcoming his own fear of herpes and AIDS and reassuring her there is nothing to fear. He must still do the sexual risk-taking, but now he can be put in jail if he takes risks too quickly or be called a wimp if he doesn’t take them quickly enough . (p. 168)

Here, Farrell falls back on the old “rape is misunderstanding” canard, and somehow manages to compare sexual activity –- from kissing up to and including rape — to eating a bag of potato chips.

It is also possible for a woman to go back to a man’s room, tell him she doesn’t want to have intercourse, mean it, start kissing, have intercourse, and then wish she hadn’t in the morning. How? Kissing is like eating potato chips. Before we know it, we’ve gone further than we said we would. (p. 311)

Here, he seems to seriously suggest that juries could do a better job judging rape cases if they were sexually aroused.

The problem with every judgment of sexual behavior is that it is made by people who aren’t being stimulated as they are making the judgment. A jury that sees a woman in a sterile courtroom, asks her what she wanted, and then assumes that anything else she did was the responsibility of the man is insulting not only the woman but the power of sex. (p. 312)

And then he returns to the potato chip metaphor.

A man being sued after a woman has more sex than intended is like Lay’s being sued after someone has more potato chips than intended. In brief, date rape can be a crime, a misunderstanding, or buyer’s remorse. (p. 312)

Farrell repeatedly tries to absolve men of sexual wrongdoing by suggesting that they are literally intoxicated by female beauty.

Sexually, of course, the sexes aren’t equal. It is exactly a woman’s greater sexual power that often makes a man so fearful of being rejected by her that he buys himself drinks to reduce his fear. In essence, her sexual power often leads to him drinking; his sexual power rarely leads to her drinking. If anything is evidence of her power over him, it is his being expected to spend his money to buy her drinks without her reciprocating.  …

It is  men – far more than women – whose mental capacities are diminished when they are “under the influence” of a beautiful woman. (p. 320)

But Farrell thinks it’s “sexist” – against men – to put men in jail for “selling sex” to intoxicated women:

As long as society tells men to be the salespersons of sex, it is sexist for society to put only men in jail if they sell well. We don’t put other salespersons in jail for buying clients drinks and successfully transforming a “no” into a “maybe” into a “yes.” If the client makes a choice to drink too much and the “yes” turns out to be a bad decision, it is the client who gets fired, not the salesperson.  (p. 321)

We’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of Warren Farrell’s equally daft and disturbing views on sex and rape. Stay tuned.

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Maude LL
Maude LL
11 years ago

@Viscaria
I think that’s the building blocks of locking up women in the private sphere.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
11 years ago

I am going to reference this post whenever an MRA comes here and claims that Warren Farrell is a moderate MRA that doesn’t bash women. The sad thing is, Farrell actually is moderate compared to others like W F Price or Elam, but that’s setting the bar really, really low.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

The more I learn about Warren Farrell, the worse he seems. This holds true no matter how much I learn about Warren Farrell. You’d think there would be some kind of drop-off in this effect by now. Can there be? Pretty please?

boumbette
boumbette
11 years ago

I know others have pointed it out, but that “pill decreases women’s anxiety but condoms increase men’s” comment made absolutely no sense (especially since women are more at risk of contracting STIs than men).
Maybe Farrell means that men used to worry 0, while women worried 100, and now it’s down to 20 anxiety for men and 80 for women: misandry?
Sounds like the eternal ice cream metaphor to me.
Also, his “pulled out of ass-style” assertions do remind me of that incest article.
Kudos to David for going through this book. The rambling and non sequiturs seem completely unpalatable.

Fibinachi
11 years ago

All of this is actually good news, though.

I mean, it’s terrible, but in the long run, it’ll be better for the human race.

You see, Mark Minter’s authentic research proves that women are gradually getting bigger across time, and Warren Farrel’s research shows that beautiful women literally diminish male mental capacity.

Add the two.

The public school system is going to experience a beautiful renewal one of these days, as we finally hit the peak saturation point and grade averages across the nation spike upwards because young boys are no longer dropping out of school because beautiful young girls literally diminish their mental capacity.

It’ll be the grand future of rising test scores.
The “Boy Problem” is actually the “Beautiful People” problem, which means, you’ve already guessed it, beauty is misandry! That’s why the MRA complain about beautiful women who don’t sleep with them so much, they already know that they’re stealing their brains and giving nothing in in return.

The faster we get everyone, man, woman, child, human, dog, cat, family, to put on 100 pounds on weight, the faster the worlds average IQ will rise!

It all makes so much sense!

@David Futrelle:

Thank you for getting the quotes from the book.

Maude LL
Maude LL
11 years ago

For some reason, my name changed in the previous comment. No sockpuppettery, it was still me, Maude LL. Idea why it changed. 🙂

Amused
11 years ago

It is men – far more than women – whose mental capacities are diminished when they are “under the influence” of a beautiful woman.

So any rape complainant whose beauty is debatable is automatically a liar.

Amused
11 years ago

Want to add to above: This reminds me of Silvio Berlusconi comment that the reason Italy has such a high prevalence of rape, is because Italian women are so beautiful.

Maude LL
Maude LL
11 years ago

@Fibinachi
Hehe.
I’m on my way to eat bacon ice cream so I can help men finally reach equality.

Bee
Bee
11 years ago

Oh hey, more shitty thoughts about rape at the Spearhead (again) and A Shitty Voice for Shitty Men. The AVFM post is older, but I’ve been waiting for a chance to complain about it. The hilarious phrase “rape farming” is difficult to laugh off when you’ve worked with migrant workers who can actually tell you first-hand about the “fields of panties.”

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

@Maude LL

I think that’s the building blocks of locking up women in the private sphere.

Oh yes, I’m sorry, you’re absolutely right and I’m not actually saying men are frightening or it is our responsibility to manage men’s sexuality or anything. I just wonder how many MRAs would be offended by the idea I might fear them, while simultaneously supporting these words.

Amused
11 years ago

@Viscaria: Well, that’s just the most pervasive set of contradictory demands that comes to mind when we think of what MRA’s expect of “good” women. Women are responsible for assuring their own safety by immediately figuring out who the rapists are, but women are also forbidden from suspecting any man might be a rapist until he’s actually committed rape and been convicted of it. And when that happens, the rape is her fault because she didn’t figure out ahead of time that he would be a rapist. But if she did, that would make her a misandrist feminazi bitch, because it’s not fair to suspect a man of being a potential rapist until he’s committed a rape and been convicted of it.

often_partisan
often_partisan
11 years ago

David,

Have you heard of/read ‘the woman racket’ by Steve Moxon? Just curious, I read it before I was familiar with MRAS but in retrospect there’s a lot of MRAish claims in it includingfalse rape allegations, custody, evopsych, cultural Marxism, domestic violence….?

Maude LL
Maude LL
11 years ago

@ Viscaria

Consistency and logical arguments oppress the Western male, though. Human rights!

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

Hey David, does Farrell talk about rape as a symptom of male “addiction” to female beauty in TMOMP? I remember reading some weird quote from him to that effect, but not where it’s from.

tedthefed
tedthefed
11 years ago

This certainly isnt unique, but I remain fascinated by the way MRAs like this guy say “men” and mean “nerdy, young, white, anxious, kinda dumb man with poor social skills.” I remember being scared of dating when I was fourteen. Then I formed deeper friendships, recognized that dating is just another kind of relationship, and chilled out. How can these people be grownups and not have learned that women arent scary? Or even more: how can they just not understand that not every man constantly feels the way they do when at a nightclub and needing to throw down booze to deal?

Catwoman
Catwoman
11 years ago

Ok, this may be the worst choice for me where to make a first comment since people will now think that I am MRA, lol, but its ok I love the site and will post more so you’ll change your mind 🙂

But while I find most he said disgusting and offensive to both genders, there is one thing I often disagree with on rape with other feminists. I don’t think that drunk sex is rape. Unless one is so drunk that one is passed out or close to it. Having sex with someone who is not one’s type because he seems great when drunk is not rape.

I would say the same about her changing her mind after saying “no” first, but I am sure nobody considers that rape, MRA guys are just paranoid about it.

And I agree guys should be taught more about rape and sexuality and what is right and not (usually MRA guys take it as offense). Sexual dynamic did change, for the good. But so many not seeming to understand what rape is, is a problem in our time. Not using it as an excuse, i one does it one is still a rapist, but more sex ed on such issues would sure help society.

Feminist Bees
11 years ago

Oh, thank you for doing this! I remember sometime last year I found Ferrall’s book at my university library (oh why did we waste that precious money!?!), and I tried to read it. I found the part about “exciting rape” and read backwards to make sense of it. It was like trying to read through aVfM. Nothing but jarring jumps from one off-putting analogy to the next marginally offensive metaphor. Suffice it to say, I put the book down, and and went somewhere dark for a few hours.

Good job! I can’t wait to read more Ferrall w/ commentary to break up the madness!

Fade
11 years ago

Um, it depends on the level of impairment. People aren’t saying ALL DRUNK SEX EVER IS RAPE, just that it can be.

Aaliyah
11 years ago

What we oppose is having sex with a person who drunk that ze is unable to consent. Not consensual drunk sex.

Bee
Bee
11 years ago

Catwoman, you may totally be a feminist (or not an MRA), but you’re a not-MRA with some bad ideas.

No one says that drunk sex is rape, unless (1) the person is so drunk they cannot consent (like, they’re passed out or close to it) or (2) the person is drunk and also does not consent (or is coerced or underage, etc.).

MRAs take that to mean that if a woman has one or two drinks and then has totally consensual sex, she can go to the police station the next day and file a rape charge with merit. But then, MRAs are very stupid.

As for your last paragraph, I agree that people should be taught about sex and consent (if that’s what you were getting at), but most rapists know they’re fucking rapists. The poor widdle rapist who didn’t mean to rape anyone is another myth.

Being informed about stuff is fun!

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Catwoman: no one’s saying all drunk sex is rape.

I know I’ve been ninja’d but that one needs to be repeated.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Seconding Bee: rapists know what rape is. Most men know what rape is. MRAs want cover for that percentage who know and don’t care.