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The Myth of Warren Farrell: Farrell on Rape, Part One

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No book has had more influence over the Men’s Rights movement than Warren Farrell’s The Myth of Male Power. Published in 1993, in the heyday of the early 90s antifeminist backlash, it set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement as it’s developed over the last two decades.  He’s the one who came up with the notions of “male disposability” and the “death professions.” He’s the one who got MRAs fixated on the issue of draft registration.

Indeed, so pervasive has his influence been that if you see an MRA making a dumb argument anywhere on the Internet, the chances are probably more than 50-50 that it originated in the pages of Farrell’s book. Despite its age, and its eccentricity, The Myth of Male Power is still the first book recommended to MRA newbies in the sidebar of the Men’s Rights subreddit, the most active MRA hangout online.

It’s a book that deserves a lot more attention than I have been giving it on this blog. Sure, I’ve written about Farrell’s strange and creepy notions about incest, as set forth in a notorious interview in Penthouse in the 1970s, and about his recent attempts to explain away these views. But I haven’t devoted any blog posts to his most influential work. I intend to rectify that now, with a series of posts on some of Farrell’s chief arguments and assertions.

I will start with several posts on Farrell’s views on rape, which has been the subject of much controversy of late. This part will deal with his general statements on rape and sexuality; another will explore in more detail his views on date rape (did he really describe it as “exciting?”); and still another will look at the vast assortment of things he has inappropriately compared to rape.

Pinning down what Farrell “really believes” about rape – and indeed, about almost anything– is difficult. Farrell’s arguments, such as they are, are slippery and evasive. Instead of setting forth a clear argument about rape, Farrell instead provides us with a series of jumbled metaphors and strange comparisons. Instead of trying to summarize them – many of them defy summary — let’s just go through them one by one.

Farrell supporters will likely suggest that these quotes are taken “out of context,” to which I can only say: Check his book to see for yourself. None of his troubling quotes are any less troubling, or for that matter any clearer, in context, and many don’t have much of a context. Farrell writes in a rambling, free-associational style, and many of the “arguments” he makes in the following quotes seem to come from out of the blue, and are never developed further (though some, as you will see, are referenced again in later quotes).

Page numbers given are from the 1993 hardcover edition of The Myth of Male Power.

All that out of the way, let’s jump right in:

Near the start of his book , Farrell sets the tone for what will come by suggesting that men suffer as much sexual trauma from women’s mixed signals as women do from rape:

Feminism has taught women to sue men for sexual harassment or date rape when men initiate with the wrong person or with the wrong timing; no one has taught men to sue women for sexual trauma for saying “yes,” then “no,” then “yes.” … Men [are] still expected to initiate, but now, if they [do] it badly, they could go to jail. (p. 16)

Here, he elaborates on the notion that rape is a matter of bad timing, of “tak[ing] risks too quickly.”

In the past, both sexes were anxious about sex and pregnancy. Now the pill minimizes her anxiety and condoms increase his. Now the pimple faced boy must still risk rejection while also overcoming his own fear of herpes and AIDS and reassuring her there is nothing to fear. He must still do the sexual risk-taking, but now he can be put in jail if he takes risks too quickly or be called a wimp if he doesn’t take them quickly enough . (p. 168)

Here, Farrell falls back on the old “rape is misunderstanding” canard, and somehow manages to compare sexual activity –- from kissing up to and including rape — to eating a bag of potato chips.

It is also possible for a woman to go back to a man’s room, tell him she doesn’t want to have intercourse, mean it, start kissing, have intercourse, and then wish she hadn’t in the morning. How? Kissing is like eating potato chips. Before we know it, we’ve gone further than we said we would. (p. 311)

Here, he seems to seriously suggest that juries could do a better job judging rape cases if they were sexually aroused.

The problem with every judgment of sexual behavior is that it is made by people who aren’t being stimulated as they are making the judgment. A jury that sees a woman in a sterile courtroom, asks her what she wanted, and then assumes that anything else she did was the responsibility of the man is insulting not only the woman but the power of sex. (p. 312)

And then he returns to the potato chip metaphor.

A man being sued after a woman has more sex than intended is like Lay’s being sued after someone has more potato chips than intended. In brief, date rape can be a crime, a misunderstanding, or buyer’s remorse. (p. 312)

Farrell repeatedly tries to absolve men of sexual wrongdoing by suggesting that they are literally intoxicated by female beauty.

Sexually, of course, the sexes aren’t equal. It is exactly a woman’s greater sexual power that often makes a man so fearful of being rejected by her that he buys himself drinks to reduce his fear. In essence, her sexual power often leads to him drinking; his sexual power rarely leads to her drinking. If anything is evidence of her power over him, it is his being expected to spend his money to buy her drinks without her reciprocating.  …

It is  men – far more than women – whose mental capacities are diminished when they are “under the influence” of a beautiful woman. (p. 320)

But Farrell thinks it’s “sexist” – against men – to put men in jail for “selling sex” to intoxicated women:

As long as society tells men to be the salespersons of sex, it is sexist for society to put only men in jail if they sell well. We don’t put other salespersons in jail for buying clients drinks and successfully transforming a “no” into a “maybe” into a “yes.” If the client makes a choice to drink too much and the “yes” turns out to be a bad decision, it is the client who gets fired, not the salesperson.  (p. 321)

We’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of Warren Farrell’s equally daft and disturbing views on sex and rape. Stay tuned.

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Kittehserf
11 years ago

LOL love the idea of Mads being a French model! I can see her as the kitty version of Renoir’s models – Gabrielle, maybe.

Marmalade tabbies in coal dust or laser toner – I can just see kitties doing something that silly, can’t you? My first boss managed to get photocopier toner all over himself once. He put it in without peeling off one of the strips, or something, and it went BOOM.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

Especially marmies, which are known for their love of mischief.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

Speaking of tortitude, my girls are starting to misbehave, which means they want me to go to bed so that they can have their favorite piece of sleeping furniture. Night night to all those in other time zones!

Kittehserf
11 years ago

I had a choice between a marmie and Mads when I bought her from the shelter. It wasn’t easy to choose! At least that marmie was safe – it’s a no-kill shelter.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Niters, Comfy Cat Cushion!

Aaliyah
11 years ago

This is a very random and probably weird question to ask here, but I’ve had no luck in my own research. Is it generally inadvisable to admit to drug usage on the internet? Like is it too risky?

greendaywantsavatars
greendaywantsavatars
11 years ago

I’ve seen people do it (at least, seen someone admit to smoking pot) on the author mentioned she smoked pot or something. I don’t know if it’s under her real name, though.

Basically, I have zip experience in this. I wouldn’t admit it under your real name (or whatever name potential employers are gonna google), but I don’t think it’d be any harm semi-anonymously. I’d wait for a more learned opinion, though. 😉

reginaldgriswold
reginaldgriswold
11 years ago

I think it depends on a lot of factors. While I’m fairly sure that no one would connect my nym here to me besides a seldom poster here who I dated, I generally don’t post things on the web that I would be unhappy having my name connected with. Particularly since MRAs seem quite frond of doxxing people. Other people might feel differently. I’m sure if you wanted support, people here would be willing to offer it via e-mail (I would).

katz
11 years ago

Gill, yes, that’s a very telling article! I remember as a kid reading a (casual) history of Washington State that said that, once women got the right to vote there, they “went crazy,” and now 49% of elected offices were held by women!

And I was all “…Half the population holding about half the offices sounds fair. What’s crazy about that?” (Sorry, ableism was in the original.)

Of course with Derick, there’s a slightly different, though closely related, thing going on: Instead of a skewed perspective of how much screen time women do have (though I’m sure he has that too), he’s got a skewed perspective of how much they should have.

But they both stem from the same base problem: Judging women relative to a baseline of complete silence or nonexistence.

katz
11 years ago

This is a very random and probably weird question to ask here, but I’ve had no luck in my own research. Is it generally inadvisable to admit to drug usage on the internet? Like is it too risky?

True story: Was going to reply to this in stoner speak but I don’t know enough stoner speak. I’m a bad stoner.

In your case, I wouldn’t worry. The cops (especially here in Cali) have way, way better things to do than try to track down stoners over the internet, so the real danger is just that your parents/boss/principal/etc will find out. But you’ve talked about a lot of other stuff here that you don’t want your dad to hear about, so it doesn’t seem like there’s cause to be concerned about mentioning weed, specifically.

doomkitt3n
11 years ago
Reply to  bahumbugi

@bahumbugi. Brave New World was always my favorite. Another good one is WE published in 1919 and which influenced 1984.

freemage
freemage
11 years ago

Okay, after all that, more brain bleach is needed:

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
11 years ago

It’s interesting, mras talk about Warren Farrell, and they love The Matrix, obvs, but I have never heard of them holding up any fiction as representative of their cause. That’s strange, because so much fiction, classic and modern, good and bad, essentialises gender and lionises masculinity. There’s enough for them to choose from.

katz
11 years ago

Those first ones only look about a week old.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Aww the kitten with the little black toes and nose!

::dies of teh cute::

Gillian
Gillian
11 years ago

Okay, I’m a puddle on the floor and my cats are winding around under my desk looking for the kitten making all that noise!

And speaking of kittens, how are Freckle (Bran) and the brood doing? I checked your update (Motley is a cutie, by the way!) but I need regular updates if I am going to avoid KDS (kitten deprivation syndrome, which is TOTALLY a thing).

MordsithJ
11 years ago

It’s interesting, mras talk about Warren Farrell, and they love The Matrix, obvs, but I have never heard of them holding up any fiction as representative of their cause.

Some of them are into Ayn Rand, but for the most part they’re not a terribly literate bunch.

Briznecko
Briznecko
11 years ago

I’m going to further derail (away from the trolls at least). It’s my birthday! Yay!

*Yes, that is a Care Bears clip. I cannot be bothered to celebrate my BDay in a mature way.

Falconer
Falconer
11 years ago

Happy birthday, Briznecko!

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Happy birthday!

pecunium
11 years ago

Catwoman: You weren’t raped. That’s good. It doesn’t mean you can extrapolate your situation/feelings/reaction to being a general rule.

As a rule I think (from some 30 years of being an adult in such situations) that the circumstance you describe is prone to rapists taking advantage of social conditioning to engage in rape: that social conditioning being, “women need to drink to relax enough to have sex”.

Look at Stuebenville: lots of people say, “she was talking, and walking, she can’t have been so drunk she couldn’t make her wishes known.

That, in the face of film of her being carried like a rag doll.

I mean should I be annoyed if people say that basically 50% of my sex life was me being raped?

You are hearing things which aren’t being said. You seem to have bought the idea that Feminists Think All Drinking = Rape. This isn’t true (and if you look at this thread you will see people saying that it’s not true).

But that you weren’t raped while drunk doesn’t mean that others, ostensibly just as competently inebriated as you were, weren’t raped.

I hope I was clear what I mean here.

Honestly, I hope you weren’t. Because if you were, you are engaging in a form of rape apologism, i.e. your arguments can be used by those who want to say, “well she consented.”

As I see it (which is why I hope you aren’t being clear) the default state you assume is, “consent is given”.

pecunium
11 years ago

Derick: Has anyone noticed the Snobbish “I am better than you” look on the Women’s faces, in almost every American TV show or Movie?

Has anyone ever noticed the politically driven confirmation bias on the part of oversensitive men who think, “Feminists practically own,” anything?

American media is denigrating men and aggrandizing Women even as I write this.

Why do you conveniently avoid this particular issue?

Because it’s bullshit.

I referred to it empirically. Even if one Man is in charge of the entire organization, that organization still functions based upon the wishes of the Female audience, and not the Male audience.

Ah, the Unfalsifiable Female Dominance. If you don’t like the message that can’t be because it’s a true message,and makes you look like a shit, it’s because The Feminist Overlords have taken control. The politicians who want to restrict womens’ rights… secretly that’s what women want (e.g. Saudi Arabia, where men have to do all the work).

If one observes closely, one would find incessant [group I hate] propaganda (FTFY)

pecunium
11 years ago

Derrick: Arrogation- Women taking undeserved credit for Men’s work – Zero Dark thirty

Oh… you mean the woman being talked about was really a man? Or you mean that the Hollywood idea that one person is always responsible for what happens (the heroic myth) and happened to pick a story about a woman?

Or do you mean when they cast women to play Seal Team 6?

Glorification – Women being aggrandized – Big bang theory(Female scientists)

Because Marie Curie, Ada Lovelace, Constance Calenda, Lilavat, Elisabetha Koopman Hevelius, Caroline Herschel, Petronella Johanna de Timmerman, Louise Hammarström, Sofia Kovalevskaya, Ellen Eglui, Emily Roebling, Faye Ajzenberg-Selove, Jocelyn Bell Burnell, A. Catrina Bryce, and Rosalyn Yallow never existed.

<Denigration (Of men) – 2 Broke girls, Mad Men

2 1/2 Men

Of course these are just a handful of counter-examples to show you are full of shit.

If I go into details and start naming everything, trust me, I would take days to actually complete that list.

This is my first day on this website, so don’t worry, I’ll make sure that I inform everyone about the reality by the time I am done.

I’m breathless with… antici——Pation.

I am trying to be polite. Kindly try to reciprocate. If that is too difficult, at least try not be profane

You aren’t trying to be polite; you are, with passive-aggressive smarm, trying to stake a claim to the moral high-ground often aceded to people who aren’t “rude”. You are doing it with the tools often used to denigrate women having passion (shrill, etc.).

You are being, in fact, intentionally disingenous and rude as all fuck. You’re just using, “decent” words to hide it.

Bless your soul.

You name ANY current show or Movie (Of course, sans hand-picking conveniently) that comes to your mind, and I’ll name the manner in which the Females are exalted in the same.

Deal?

No deal. You have both stacked the deck, and palmed cards. Any show which you can’t squint to see as, “misandrist” will be deemed, “hand-picked conveniently”.

It’s a no win, and I don’t take sucker’s bets.

If you are a Woman, I’ll let this slide this time, since I am aware that women are irrational and overly emotional and don’t take logic that well.

If you repeat it, I shall be forced to reciprocate

If you are a Man, then you must be a Mangina, in which case, have the balls to prove me wrong, you women-worshipping cunt.

There went the façade of politesse.

I do have to say I am all atremble at the thought you will, “reciprocate”.

Allow me, as a man, to say, “fuck off”.

I await your reciprocation. Do try to be clever, merely having a spate of four letter words drip from your keyboard is weaksauce. If you need inspiration I commend the Shakespeare insult kit as a way to build a tolerable insult. I’ll grade gently; you don’t need to rise to the level of inspired drill sergeant, but I expect at least the level of Junior High School football coach.

pecunium
11 years ago

Re studying language: Drills help. The substitution drills are going to be harder with greek, because it’s an inflected language; so the words change in different ways depending on the verb.

But practice is the only way; that and having a decent grammar to work with.

pecunium
11 years ago

lensman: Does anybody here know where I can find a readable copy of the book

Readable and The Myth of Male Power are not ideas which go together.