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The Myth of Warren Farrell: Farrell on Rape, Part One

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No book has had more influence over the Men’s Rights movement than Warren Farrell’s The Myth of Male Power. Published in 1993, in the heyday of the early 90s antifeminist backlash, it set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement as it’s developed over the last two decades.  He’s the one who came up with the notions of “male disposability” and the “death professions.” He’s the one who got MRAs fixated on the issue of draft registration.

Indeed, so pervasive has his influence been that if you see an MRA making a dumb argument anywhere on the Internet, the chances are probably more than 50-50 that it originated in the pages of Farrell’s book. Despite its age, and its eccentricity, The Myth of Male Power is still the first book recommended to MRA newbies in the sidebar of the Men’s Rights subreddit, the most active MRA hangout online.

It’s a book that deserves a lot more attention than I have been giving it on this blog. Sure, I’ve written about Farrell’s strange and creepy notions about incest, as set forth in a notorious interview in Penthouse in the 1970s, and about his recent attempts to explain away these views. But I haven’t devoted any blog posts to his most influential work. I intend to rectify that now, with a series of posts on some of Farrell’s chief arguments and assertions.

I will start with several posts on Farrell’s views on rape, which has been the subject of much controversy of late. This part will deal with his general statements on rape and sexuality; another will explore in more detail his views on date rape (did he really describe it as “exciting?”); and still another will look at the vast assortment of things he has inappropriately compared to rape.

Pinning down what Farrell “really believes” about rape – and indeed, about almost anything– is difficult. Farrell’s arguments, such as they are, are slippery and evasive. Instead of setting forth a clear argument about rape, Farrell instead provides us with a series of jumbled metaphors and strange comparisons. Instead of trying to summarize them – many of them defy summary — let’s just go through them one by one.

Farrell supporters will likely suggest that these quotes are taken “out of context,” to which I can only say: Check his book to see for yourself. None of his troubling quotes are any less troubling, or for that matter any clearer, in context, and many don’t have much of a context. Farrell writes in a rambling, free-associational style, and many of the “arguments” he makes in the following quotes seem to come from out of the blue, and are never developed further (though some, as you will see, are referenced again in later quotes).

Page numbers given are from the 1993 hardcover edition of The Myth of Male Power.

All that out of the way, let’s jump right in:

Near the start of his book , Farrell sets the tone for what will come by suggesting that men suffer as much sexual trauma from women’s mixed signals as women do from rape:

Feminism has taught women to sue men for sexual harassment or date rape when men initiate with the wrong person or with the wrong timing; no one has taught men to sue women for sexual trauma for saying “yes,” then “no,” then “yes.” … Men [are] still expected to initiate, but now, if they [do] it badly, they could go to jail. (p. 16)

Here, he elaborates on the notion that rape is a matter of bad timing, of “tak[ing] risks too quickly.”

In the past, both sexes were anxious about sex and pregnancy. Now the pill minimizes her anxiety and condoms increase his. Now the pimple faced boy must still risk rejection while also overcoming his own fear of herpes and AIDS and reassuring her there is nothing to fear. He must still do the sexual risk-taking, but now he can be put in jail if he takes risks too quickly or be called a wimp if he doesn’t take them quickly enough . (p. 168)

Here, Farrell falls back on the old “rape is misunderstanding” canard, and somehow manages to compare sexual activity –- from kissing up to and including rape — to eating a bag of potato chips.

It is also possible for a woman to go back to a man’s room, tell him she doesn’t want to have intercourse, mean it, start kissing, have intercourse, and then wish she hadn’t in the morning. How? Kissing is like eating potato chips. Before we know it, we’ve gone further than we said we would. (p. 311)

Here, he seems to seriously suggest that juries could do a better job judging rape cases if they were sexually aroused.

The problem with every judgment of sexual behavior is that it is made by people who aren’t being stimulated as they are making the judgment. A jury that sees a woman in a sterile courtroom, asks her what she wanted, and then assumes that anything else she did was the responsibility of the man is insulting not only the woman but the power of sex. (p. 312)

And then he returns to the potato chip metaphor.

A man being sued after a woman has more sex than intended is like Lay’s being sued after someone has more potato chips than intended. In brief, date rape can be a crime, a misunderstanding, or buyer’s remorse. (p. 312)

Farrell repeatedly tries to absolve men of sexual wrongdoing by suggesting that they are literally intoxicated by female beauty.

Sexually, of course, the sexes aren’t equal. It is exactly a woman’s greater sexual power that often makes a man so fearful of being rejected by her that he buys himself drinks to reduce his fear. In essence, her sexual power often leads to him drinking; his sexual power rarely leads to her drinking. If anything is evidence of her power over him, it is his being expected to spend his money to buy her drinks without her reciprocating.  …

It is  men – far more than women – whose mental capacities are diminished when they are “under the influence” of a beautiful woman. (p. 320)

But Farrell thinks it’s “sexist” – against men – to put men in jail for “selling sex” to intoxicated women:

As long as society tells men to be the salespersons of sex, it is sexist for society to put only men in jail if they sell well. We don’t put other salespersons in jail for buying clients drinks and successfully transforming a “no” into a “maybe” into a “yes.” If the client makes a choice to drink too much and the “yes” turns out to be a bad decision, it is the client who gets fired, not the salesperson.  (p. 321)

We’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of Warren Farrell’s equally daft and disturbing views on sex and rape. Stay tuned.

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Bee
Bee
11 years ago

Speaking from that experience, do I think that the people who raped me deserved to be labeled rapists and punished? YES. Were they? NO

You rest your case on my not wanting to file a report with the police because when I got to the hospital I felt really intimidated and just wanted to go home and take a shower, so I left? Mmmmmmkay. Glad that helped you.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

Of course it is Forced! But it is NOT a violent assault

And your point is? Are you trying to argue that rapes should be graded on how many bruises the victim has? Dear gods, do you have no concept of emotional trauma?

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

@Boobzers.

Is there a way of telling David about this wanker Derick/Pell?

Seriously fed up of this sick fucker.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

Mind bleach time ….

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

@Bee, so sorry about that wanker D/P, his soul is black and turgid. He seriously needs to fuck the fuck off now.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I am not Pell! Which is why, like him, I drop quotes into my comments without in any way indicating that they’re quotes!

Wow…I, not-Pell, sure am stupid.

Derick
Derick
11 years ago

@Bagelsan Okay, that’s fair; if rape is only about psychological damage, which doesn’t count as real damage, then no one will object to rapists being kept in solitary with zero mental stimulation for the duration of their term. I mean, that won’t physically damage them.

7 years of Psychological damage in “solitary with zero mental stimulation”…….is justified for Psychological damage out in the open, living one’s life freely?

Why don’t you “Psychologically Damage” the Rapists for years….OUT IN THE OPEN..instead of demanding them to be imprisoned then?

Huh?

Bee
Bee
11 years ago

Tamen:

I’d call that anti-male.

Yeah, without any other context, I would too.

Do you think that statement on rape prevalency methodology from Koss had any influence on how CDC classified male victims considering that Koss has and continues to serve as an advisor to CDC?

I have no idea. I’m sure that I’ve changed my mind on many, many things since the early ’90s. Hell, even since the late ’00s. Further, I don’t know what her role is as adviser, or anything about the CDC’s methodology, and I really have no interest in trying to research that subject.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

@Derick/Pell, in case I’m being too cryptic, Fuck the fuck off you fucker!

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
11 years ago

Sure, Derick, what do you have in mind? Rape all rapists? I’m genuinely curious.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

I’ve emailed the Master asking him to take a look at Derick/Pell.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Oh FFS, can’t tell you to fuck off if we don’t have banning power? Are you new to the internet or something?!

And the only person I’ve seen this upset about being called Pell is our other asswipe.

Ophelia — click the big head at the top of the sidebar, it’s David’s email.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

@titianblue, thank you for that and the mind bleach, you’re lovely 🙂

Derick
Derick
11 years ago

@titianblue

You assholes cannot play fair can you? You just have to take cheap shots huh?

I should not bother with you people then

Good Bye! I’ m out of here… and Fuck you asshole Mangina

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

How long do we think he can keep to the flounce? 2 minutes?

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Derick, fuck off, you rape apologist asswipe.

I think Tamen is one of TS’ flying monkeys.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Not-Pell is getting pouty.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

@Argenti, thanks duck, I should have tried that. Mr M would be so ashamed, him being the tech wiz he is. 🙂

gelar
gelar
11 years ago

I’m glad it ended on a slightly funny note (if he sticks the flounce).

Bee
Bee
11 years ago

Thanks, opheliamonarch!

Awwww, I’m rilly gonna miss Derick! Take care, smart guy!

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

Well, I’m off to get some sleep since it’s tomorrow, here, already, if you know what I mean. Night, boobzers.

greendaywantsavatars
greendaywantsavatars
11 years ago

“Socially accepted” norm, and go sleep on the couch- In his own house!

In their house. Not everything is immediately the man’s in a marraige.

Also, in most of these situations, it’s like after the man does something really ridiculous, like spending lots of money w/o consulting SO or framing her for the murder of her best friend (american dad)

Wait, I got a situation. What about when a man MC is like “don’t go there it’s dangerous” and the woman MC is like “hell, I can do what I want” and then she gets captured proving the man right! Is that mass indoctrination?

And feel free to give me those other example, cuz I got more. 😉

@seventh guest

I looked for your links, but I couldn’t find them. Have they been let out of moderation yet?

And I did see your email address. Thank you. XD I’ve even already sent an email

and it appears these influences are greater for males than females.

By what logic, Tamen? I mean, got any evidence for that.

Now, this Forced part can range from anywhere from as little as subduing the victim forcefully,

As little?! WTF is wrong with you, man?!

If you can refute this, then please do, if you cannot, then kindly agree with me and we will proceed after establishing that we have an accord

Okay: The “sex” part is what confuses people. In relationships, people used to not thing date rape was A Thing because if you’ve consented to sex once, you consent to it the rest of the time, and the (normally) male was owed sex.

No one says you can’t be robbed if you give your friend money and they come back and rob you.

People bring up a victim’s sex life in the rape trials like that matters. No one brings up your donations history if you’re robbed in life.

People accept that you don’t want to be beaten. You could say a beating is “non-consensual MMA”. Then the non consensual part is the problem. Not the beating, because some people fight for fun.

Some people fight voluntarily. Some people sex voluntarily. Some people part with their money for no gain voluntarily.

Yet people treat assault and robbery as serious things. No MRAs want to crack down on “false robbery reports” even though those are about as common as false rape reports.

Rape is treated as different than other crimes because in most situations* the victim is female. People think of women’s bodies as public property moreso than man’s. Women used to be married for financial stability, and it would be assumed they would provide sex for their husbands for that.

SEX WAS TREATED DIFFERENT IN HISTORY, ESPECIALLY WHEN WOMEN DO IT, THAN MANY OTHER THINGS.

Rape was criminalized differently. I’m sorry, Derek, but let me let you in on a secret: different things are different We treat rape different.

Rape is about power, not sex. Rapists view it as about power. But the media/ most people view it as about sex which makes them sympathize to the rapists point of view.

It is not sensationalized by feminists, except that they say you shouldn’t do it, and they say there is a rape culture.

It’s everyone else who sensationalizes it when they call sexual assault and rape cases “sex scandals” or “contreversies”

TL;DR Fuck you, no one’s gonna agree your right cuz you’re not.

*3/4, I think people were saying earlier? If Tamen’s data is valid

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

@Bee, d’ya think we hurt his feelings 🙂
Call me Ophelia (it was taken when I got my gravatar, hence the overly long full name)

Aaliyah
11 years ago

@Bagelsan Okay, that’s fair; if rape is only about psychological damage, which doesn’t count as real damage, then no one will object to rapists being kept in solitary with zero mental stimulation for the duration of their term. I mean, that won’t physically damage them.

7 years of Psychological damage in “solitary with zero mental stimulation”…….is justified for Psychological damage out in the open, living one’s life freely?

Why don’t you “Psychologically Damage” the Rapists for years….OUT IN THE OPEN..instead of demanding them to be imprisoned then?

Huh?

She didn’t say that rape is only about psychological damage.

Also,

“psychological damage, which doesn’t count as real damage”

FUCK OFF

Aaliyah
11 years ago

I agree that prisoners shouldn’t be mistreated. But bringing up the mistreatment of prisoners as a way to be apologetic about rape and trivialize makes you beyond disgusting.

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