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The Myth of Warren Farrell: Farrell on Rape, Part One

farrellmyth

No book has had more influence over the Men’s Rights movement than Warren Farrell’s The Myth of Male Power. Published in 1993, in the heyday of the early 90s antifeminist backlash, it set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement as it’s developed over the last two decades.  He’s the one who came up with the notions of “male disposability” and the “death professions.” He’s the one who got MRAs fixated on the issue of draft registration.

Indeed, so pervasive has his influence been that if you see an MRA making a dumb argument anywhere on the Internet, the chances are probably more than 50-50 that it originated in the pages of Farrell’s book. Despite its age, and its eccentricity, The Myth of Male Power is still the first book recommended to MRA newbies in the sidebar of the Men’s Rights subreddit, the most active MRA hangout online.

It’s a book that deserves a lot more attention than I have been giving it on this blog. Sure, I’ve written about Farrell’s strange and creepy notions about incest, as set forth in a notorious interview in Penthouse in the 1970s, and about his recent attempts to explain away these views. But I haven’t devoted any blog posts to his most influential work. I intend to rectify that now, with a series of posts on some of Farrell’s chief arguments and assertions.

I will start with several posts on Farrell’s views on rape, which has been the subject of much controversy of late. This part will deal with his general statements on rape and sexuality; another will explore in more detail his views on date rape (did he really describe it as “exciting?”); and still another will look at the vast assortment of things he has inappropriately compared to rape.

Pinning down what Farrell “really believes” about rape – and indeed, about almost anything– is difficult. Farrell’s arguments, such as they are, are slippery and evasive. Instead of setting forth a clear argument about rape, Farrell instead provides us with a series of jumbled metaphors and strange comparisons. Instead of trying to summarize them – many of them defy summary — let’s just go through them one by one.

Farrell supporters will likely suggest that these quotes are taken “out of context,” to which I can only say: Check his book to see for yourself. None of his troubling quotes are any less troubling, or for that matter any clearer, in context, and many don’t have much of a context. Farrell writes in a rambling, free-associational style, and many of the “arguments” he makes in the following quotes seem to come from out of the blue, and are never developed further (though some, as you will see, are referenced again in later quotes).

Page numbers given are from the 1993 hardcover edition of The Myth of Male Power.

All that out of the way, let’s jump right in:

Near the start of his book , Farrell sets the tone for what will come by suggesting that men suffer as much sexual trauma from women’s mixed signals as women do from rape:

Feminism has taught women to sue men for sexual harassment or date rape when men initiate with the wrong person or with the wrong timing; no one has taught men to sue women for sexual trauma for saying “yes,” then “no,” then “yes.” … Men [are] still expected to initiate, but now, if they [do] it badly, they could go to jail. (p. 16)

Here, he elaborates on the notion that rape is a matter of bad timing, of “tak[ing] risks too quickly.”

In the past, both sexes were anxious about sex and pregnancy. Now the pill minimizes her anxiety and condoms increase his. Now the pimple faced boy must still risk rejection while also overcoming his own fear of herpes and AIDS and reassuring her there is nothing to fear. He must still do the sexual risk-taking, but now he can be put in jail if he takes risks too quickly or be called a wimp if he doesn’t take them quickly enough . (p. 168)

Here, Farrell falls back on the old “rape is misunderstanding” canard, and somehow manages to compare sexual activity –- from kissing up to and including rape — to eating a bag of potato chips.

It is also possible for a woman to go back to a man’s room, tell him she doesn’t want to have intercourse, mean it, start kissing, have intercourse, and then wish she hadn’t in the morning. How? Kissing is like eating potato chips. Before we know it, we’ve gone further than we said we would. (p. 311)

Here, he seems to seriously suggest that juries could do a better job judging rape cases if they were sexually aroused.

The problem with every judgment of sexual behavior is that it is made by people who aren’t being stimulated as they are making the judgment. A jury that sees a woman in a sterile courtroom, asks her what she wanted, and then assumes that anything else she did was the responsibility of the man is insulting not only the woman but the power of sex. (p. 312)

And then he returns to the potato chip metaphor.

A man being sued after a woman has more sex than intended is like Lay’s being sued after someone has more potato chips than intended. In brief, date rape can be a crime, a misunderstanding, or buyer’s remorse. (p. 312)

Farrell repeatedly tries to absolve men of sexual wrongdoing by suggesting that they are literally intoxicated by female beauty.

Sexually, of course, the sexes aren’t equal. It is exactly a woman’s greater sexual power that often makes a man so fearful of being rejected by her that he buys himself drinks to reduce his fear. In essence, her sexual power often leads to him drinking; his sexual power rarely leads to her drinking. If anything is evidence of her power over him, it is his being expected to spend his money to buy her drinks without her reciprocating.  …

It is  men – far more than women – whose mental capacities are diminished when they are “under the influence” of a beautiful woman. (p. 320)

But Farrell thinks it’s “sexist” – against men – to put men in jail for “selling sex” to intoxicated women:

As long as society tells men to be the salespersons of sex, it is sexist for society to put only men in jail if they sell well. We don’t put other salespersons in jail for buying clients drinks and successfully transforming a “no” into a “maybe” into a “yes.” If the client makes a choice to drink too much and the “yes” turns out to be a bad decision, it is the client who gets fired, not the salesperson.  (p. 321)

We’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of Warren Farrell’s equally daft and disturbing views on sex and rape. Stay tuned.

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Alex
11 years ago

@Derick,

You cannot refute it, which means you agree, correct?

That is not what that means, or how that works, but reads awfully Pellish to me, as does everything else you say. Maybe you should refute how you’re Pell?

Aaliyah
11 years ago

Hmm, I wonder if in-line HTML styling works on WordPess:

This text should be red.

*crosses fingers*

@freemage

Aaliyah: As a complete side-note: I’ve tried to do some poking around for ex-Muslims seeking support. So far, all I’ve found is the CEMB, which is based in Great Britain, but it seems their forums have a fairly international spread (one recent poster in the Introduction forum is apparently from Chicago). So it might be a place where you can get some more informed emotional support (not that we aren’t here for you, but these folks may have more insight to your situation)

http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/

If you do go, you should take care with your identity and personal information–they do have Muslims on the boards, it seems, who argue for a more moderate Islam–which is fine, but it does mean you might encounter someone who would think they were ‘helping’ you by outing you to your father, which obviously could be disastrous. I’ll keep looking around.

I’ll check it out for sure. I’ll sign up and go under a different name.

I have no idea I would receive this much support in this community (not that I think lowly of the non-trolls here, but you know). Thank you so much everyone.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

Tamen, either stop derailing or fuck off.

Actually, tell us, what do you think about Warrne Farrell’s attitude towards rape? Or go away.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

Dance for us, trolly, dance! 😉

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

@Derick/Pell.

Aaliyah
11 years ago

Tamen, either stop derailing or fuck off.

Actually, tell us, what do you think about Warrne Farrell’s attitude towards rape? Or go away.

I can’t say I’m a fan of people like Tamen. But ze’s no rape apologist – as far as I know. So I’m sure ze finds what Farrell wrote problematic.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

Ze’s not a rape apologist so far. Ze is vering towards oppression olympics and interestingly obsessed with making this thread all about teh menz, though.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

I apparently misunderstood Tamen’s statement. Of course, for every 4 people raped there’s a man raped is still an illogical construct, as men count as people. But yes, for every 4 women raped, there’s a man raped.

I hate both word problems and ratios btw.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

I’ve been meaning to say, Aaliyah, that I haven’t the experience to offer advice but I have been following what wiser heads (& hearts) than mine have been discussing with you and really hoping everything works out for you. /sincerity

Derick
Derick
11 years ago

@augochlorella
I only mentioned American Media since the beginning. You can verify it. I never mentioned Japanese or any other Media.

@bee
If it is indeed about the Psychological Damage for which people are subjected to years of imprisonment, can you honestly justify it?

@Alex
I am not Pell

@titianblue
Bopping on the head comes under Violence, assault- use of Force. If the person is unconscious, the act can be termed involuntary. Forced also means involuntary. You can verify it.

Tamen
Tamen
11 years ago

titianblue:
If you have the authority to tell me to fuck off I trust you also have the authority to ban me as well.

If you had read my comments it should come as no surprise that I disagree with all seven quotes from Farrel’s book that David have listed in this post. Although I do think that women who do say no when they mean yes contribute to rape culture as it’s defined. But that doesn’t seem to be what Farrel is saying in that first quote.

Now, how about you returning the favour? Your view on Koss, NISVS.

Bee:
Well, your comment did come off as saying that “made to penetrate” not being classified as rape was not a big deal (they were counted and the classification is a bit odd). I think it is and my answer implied why I do. I am glad if I read your comment wrong.

Would you consider the following Mary P. Koss statement as anti-male (my emphasis)?

Although consideration of male victims is within the scope of the legal statutes, it is important to restrict the term rape to instances where male victims were penetrated by offenders. It is inappropriate to consider as a rape victim a man who engages in unwanted sexual intercourse with a woman.

I’d call that anti-male.

Do you think that statement on rape prevalency methodology from Koss had any influence on how CDC classified male victims considering that Koss has and continues to serve as an advisor to CDC?

From her CV:
1996: Expert Panel Member, “Definitions of Sexual Assault,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

2003- : Selected to direct the Sexual Violence Applied Research Advisory Group, VAWNET.org, the national online resource on violence against women funded by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

2003- : Member, team of expert advisors, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on teen partner violence

2003- : Panel of Experts, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control on scales to measure intimate partner violence, resulted in the publication of CDC Intimate Partner Violence compendium, 2005

2003-4: Consultant, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC Intimate Partner Violence compendium, 2005 IPV Compendium on assessment of sexual violence and inclusion as recommended standard assessments in the field of two Koss-authored assessments (Sexual Experiences Survey-victimization, and Sexual Experiences Survey-perpetration)

Alex
11 years ago

@Derick,

If it is indeed about the Psychological Damage for which people are subjected to years of imprisonment, can you honestly justify it?

Yes.

I am not Pell

But you didn’t refute me, which must mean you agree that you are Pell.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

Inconsistency klaxon!

Also, I do not think Consent is the appropriate term here because, the victim could claim that “He/ she was too drunk” for consent or “He/ she was asleep”, and get away with it on grounds of Technicality, and accuse the Perpetrator successfully, even when the Perpetrator did not necessarily Force the Victim.

If the person is unconscious, the act can be termed involuntary. Forced also means involuntary. You can verify it.

So which is it, poppet? Is it “Forced” or is it “not necessarily force” ?

freemage
freemage
11 years ago

Argenti: I think the claim is actually, “For every 3 women raped, one man is raped”–which then becomes, “Out of every 4 rape victims, one is a man”. Now, the study being cited seems to be rather flawed, so the numbers may not be accurate, but it’s apparently a fair telling of the study’s conclusions.

That said… AND? THE POINT? WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THIS UP, TAMEN?

There’s not a single person here who thinks that raping men, even by women, is acceptable, or otherwise not a cause for concern. It is considerably less common, and the media portrayals of such incidents are often horrible (especially in fiction, where it’s almost always played either for laughs* or as somehow legitimately ‘sexy’**, which we’ll all concur, is disgusting).

So what is your point here, if it’s not to derail the discussion that’s already established, re: Warren Farrell’s utterly disgusting views on rape?

*: See: The movie “Forty Days & Forty Nights”. Or even better, don’t. (Seriously, the scene in question nearly cost me a TV set, I was so repulsed.)

**: See: Green Arrow’s drugged rape at the hands of “Sexy Ninja Girl” Lady Shado. The comics repeatedly screw up the fact that yes, what happened to him was rape–one of them even has it listed among his ‘infidelities’ while with Black Canary.

Derick
Derick
11 years ago

@titianblue

Of course it is Forced! But it is NOT a violent assault

Derick
Derick
11 years ago

@Alex : Yes?

All I can say is……Wow

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Holy shit, we try to explain to Catwoman for page after page that feminists do not equate “all drunk sex” with rape, then permastupid comes along and repeats her stupid talking points.

Fucking

Moron.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

Tamen, nope, not interested in commenting on Koss on this thread.

Although I do think that women who do say no when they mean yes contribute to rape culture as it’s defined.

Interesting. Please clarify. How do you think they contribute to rape culture? How common do you think it is that women “say no when they mean yes”? Why might they do it? And, assuming we’re talking straight women saying it to straight men, what should men be doing to resolve this issue?

Derick
Derick
11 years ago

@Alex But you didn’t refute me, which must mean you agree that you are Pell.

Yes, I did refute it! I just cannot prove it without a Webcam conversation. If you don’t believe me, that’s fine

Bee
Bee
11 years ago

If it is indeed about the Psychological Damage for which people are subjected to years of imprisonment, can you honestly justify it?

What the fuck are you on about now?

As I said, not all rape victims have a single experience.

In my experience, the harm I suffered was largely psychological and very little physical. I’m not going to go into great detail, but I can tell you that over the last 18 months I’ve had two month-long PTSD-related anxiety attacks. Less frightening but more immediate results: a sense of complete disorientation; not knowing who I could trust, who I could be alone with; feeling like I didn’t have ownership of my body anymore.

Speaking from that experience, do I think that the people who raped me deserved to be labeled rapists and punished? Yes. Were they? No. And that’s the norm; if you look at the statistics, only 3% of rapists spend a single day in prison.

Can you honestly justify that?

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

@Kitteh, hey love, sorry about last night, I missed your message 🙂
So sorry about Magnus, I didn’t realise 🙁 He was beautiful in his pick with your Mr. 🙂

Also, I have the kindle app on my Ipad, my kindle went to silicon heaven a couple of months ago, still haven’t got around to replacing it, although the app seems pretty good so I’m not sure if I won’t stick with that to be honest. Why do you ask?

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
11 years ago

If it is indeed about the Psychological Damage for which people are subjected to years of imprisonment, can you honestly justify it?

Okay, that’s fair; if rape is only about psychological damage, which doesn’t count as real damage, then no one will object to rapists being kept in solitary with zero mental stimulation for the duration of their term. I mean, that won’t physically damage them.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

@Bahumbugi, thanks love 🙂

Derick
Derick
11 years ago

@Bee : Speaking from that experience, do I think that the people who raped me deserved to be labeled rapists and punished? YES. Were they? NO

I rest my case

Bee
Bee
11 years ago

What about this, Derick:

What about when we remove physical force and replace it with an alternative weapon — say, intoxication, coersion, massively disparate power, etc.? Like, if a rapist chokes his victim and pushes xir on the floor, that’s rape, but if the rapist chooses a kid from the neighborhood that he knows doesn’t get a lot of parental attention and is in trouble a lot, that’s totally just sexy times?

Any response? It’s not forced, and maybe it’s not even completely involuntary, or at least not in a way that’s easy to prove. So what is it?

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