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The Myth of Warren Farrell: Farrell on Rape, Part One

farrellmyth

No book has had more influence over the Men’s Rights movement than Warren Farrell’s The Myth of Male Power. Published in 1993, in the heyday of the early 90s antifeminist backlash, it set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement as it’s developed over the last two decades.  He’s the one who came up with the notions of “male disposability” and the “death professions.” He’s the one who got MRAs fixated on the issue of draft registration.

Indeed, so pervasive has his influence been that if you see an MRA making a dumb argument anywhere on the Internet, the chances are probably more than 50-50 that it originated in the pages of Farrell’s book. Despite its age, and its eccentricity, The Myth of Male Power is still the first book recommended to MRA newbies in the sidebar of the Men’s Rights subreddit, the most active MRA hangout online.

It’s a book that deserves a lot more attention than I have been giving it on this blog. Sure, I’ve written about Farrell’s strange and creepy notions about incest, as set forth in a notorious interview in Penthouse in the 1970s, and about his recent attempts to explain away these views. But I haven’t devoted any blog posts to his most influential work. I intend to rectify that now, with a series of posts on some of Farrell’s chief arguments and assertions.

I will start with several posts on Farrell’s views on rape, which has been the subject of much controversy of late. This part will deal with his general statements on rape and sexuality; another will explore in more detail his views on date rape (did he really describe it as “exciting?”); and still another will look at the vast assortment of things he has inappropriately compared to rape.

Pinning down what Farrell “really believes” about rape – and indeed, about almost anything– is difficult. Farrell’s arguments, such as they are, are slippery and evasive. Instead of setting forth a clear argument about rape, Farrell instead provides us with a series of jumbled metaphors and strange comparisons. Instead of trying to summarize them – many of them defy summary — let’s just go through them one by one.

Farrell supporters will likely suggest that these quotes are taken “out of context,” to which I can only say: Check his book to see for yourself. None of his troubling quotes are any less troubling, or for that matter any clearer, in context, and many don’t have much of a context. Farrell writes in a rambling, free-associational style, and many of the “arguments” he makes in the following quotes seem to come from out of the blue, and are never developed further (though some, as you will see, are referenced again in later quotes).

Page numbers given are from the 1993 hardcover edition of The Myth of Male Power.

All that out of the way, let’s jump right in:

Near the start of his book , Farrell sets the tone for what will come by suggesting that men suffer as much sexual trauma from women’s mixed signals as women do from rape:

Feminism has taught women to sue men for sexual harassment or date rape when men initiate with the wrong person or with the wrong timing; no one has taught men to sue women for sexual trauma for saying “yes,” then “no,” then “yes.” … Men [are] still expected to initiate, but now, if they [do] it badly, they could go to jail. (p. 16)

Here, he elaborates on the notion that rape is a matter of bad timing, of “tak[ing] risks too quickly.”

In the past, both sexes were anxious about sex and pregnancy. Now the pill minimizes her anxiety and condoms increase his. Now the pimple faced boy must still risk rejection while also overcoming his own fear of herpes and AIDS and reassuring her there is nothing to fear. He must still do the sexual risk-taking, but now he can be put in jail if he takes risks too quickly or be called a wimp if he doesn’t take them quickly enough . (p. 168)

Here, Farrell falls back on the old “rape is misunderstanding” canard, and somehow manages to compare sexual activity –- from kissing up to and including rape — to eating a bag of potato chips.

It is also possible for a woman to go back to a man’s room, tell him she doesn’t want to have intercourse, mean it, start kissing, have intercourse, and then wish she hadn’t in the morning. How? Kissing is like eating potato chips. Before we know it, we’ve gone further than we said we would. (p. 311)

Here, he seems to seriously suggest that juries could do a better job judging rape cases if they were sexually aroused.

The problem with every judgment of sexual behavior is that it is made by people who aren’t being stimulated as they are making the judgment. A jury that sees a woman in a sterile courtroom, asks her what she wanted, and then assumes that anything else she did was the responsibility of the man is insulting not only the woman but the power of sex. (p. 312)

And then he returns to the potato chip metaphor.

A man being sued after a woman has more sex than intended is like Lay’s being sued after someone has more potato chips than intended. In brief, date rape can be a crime, a misunderstanding, or buyer’s remorse. (p. 312)

Farrell repeatedly tries to absolve men of sexual wrongdoing by suggesting that they are literally intoxicated by female beauty.

Sexually, of course, the sexes aren’t equal. It is exactly a woman’s greater sexual power that often makes a man so fearful of being rejected by her that he buys himself drinks to reduce his fear. In essence, her sexual power often leads to him drinking; his sexual power rarely leads to her drinking. If anything is evidence of her power over him, it is his being expected to spend his money to buy her drinks without her reciprocating.  …

It is  men – far more than women – whose mental capacities are diminished when they are “under the influence” of a beautiful woman. (p. 320)

But Farrell thinks it’s “sexist” – against men – to put men in jail for “selling sex” to intoxicated women:

As long as society tells men to be the salespersons of sex, it is sexist for society to put only men in jail if they sell well. We don’t put other salespersons in jail for buying clients drinks and successfully transforming a “no” into a “maybe” into a “yes.” If the client makes a choice to drink too much and the “yes” turns out to be a bad decision, it is the client who gets fired, not the salesperson.  (p. 321)

We’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of Warren Farrell’s equally daft and disturbing views on sex and rape. Stay tuned.

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theseventhguest
theseventhguest
11 years ago

@Fade
I posted some education links, so they ended up in moderation. I thought I’d let you know because this is an old thread. Also, I asked David to give you my email to ask any fibro stuff.

Tamen
Tamen
11 years ago

inurashii:
Here’s why:

I mentioned the 1993 paper by Mary P Koss where she states that it’s inappropriate to call it rape if a woman make a man have penetrative sex with her without his consent unless she penetrates him. I somehow thought that was more on-topic than the crown successions in Norway and on Alderaan.

freemage replied:

that’s a horrible statement about rape–from 20 years ago.

Which could imply that it’s was 20 years ago and really isn’t relevant anymore.
And I pointed out how the methodology recommendations by Mary P Koss is still in use by for instance the CDC as exemplified by how it’s not classified as rape in the NISVS 2010Report and the perhaps related fact that Mary P Koss according to her CV has served and is serving on several advisory boards at CDC.

Derick
Derick
11 years ago

[quote=Alex ] @Derick, shall we call you Chris, then? How about Jane? Or Monty? Or Marvin? [/quote]

I am none of these, nor do I know any of them

Tamen
Tamen
11 years ago

I am sorry I didn’t correctly guess that the link on Aaliyah nick goes to a blog where she has posted an article about the NISVS 2010 Report. I have now read it. her main criticism seems to be the use of the “last 12 months” prevalency numbers – which I haven’t cited at all in this thread. Secondly I note that she quotes Mary P Koss:

But the same could be said for female rape victims, who, according to research done by Mary P. Koss et al***, aren’t likely to label their non-consensual experiences as rape even though they were raped.

That quotation by Koss is ironic considering that Koss does’t consider a large subset of men’s non-consensual intercourses (vaginal,oral,anal) as rape.

theseventhguest
theseventhguest
11 years ago

@canuck_with_puck
If I get something like that just after a medication change, it tends to be the meds. After being off of it for a year and trying it again for a month, I ended up having a huge problem with Vicodin making my skin hurt. I could barely even wear clothes by the end and had to have my head shaved because my hair hurt so much. I stopped taking it after a month, and within two weeks I was back to “normal”. Not really and ideal way to spend December in Nebraska.

So, depression break or side effects? Hard to know. And hard to test. If it is medication based, it is possible it will settle down after a while, I hope it is the restlessness of finally having energy after being depressed for so long. But I am glad you are paying attention to other possible factors.

Amused
11 years ago

@freemage, the feminist definition of rape isn’t decreed by one individual. However I often see the sentiment that any form of drunken copulation is rape, which is insulting to actual rape victims. Yes, if you were raped while drunk, you were raped. If you have sex while drunk, you had sex. I don’t see why this is so hard to grasp. Your decisions while drunk are still your decisions, this is why we persecute drunken drivers.

You assume that every drunk person is capable of making a decision. Every single case about which MRA’s scream that the women “cried rape” after “drunken sex” involves the women being unconscious — or alternatively, repeatedly saying “no” and “stop”, but being too weak to resist physically. We prosecute drunk drivers because getting behind the wheel of a car and driving still requires a certain modicum of capacity. If you are so drunk that you are passed out, you can’t drive, and thus can’t be prosecuted for driving. So your analogy fails miserably. What underlies MRAs’ complaints here is the belief that if a woman drinks — at all — she thereby consents to anything and everything that might happen to her if she is unconscious.

And then of course there are the Second Wave feminists who said that all sex was rape. That was only like 25 years ago.

That phrase was uttered by a fictional character in a novel. Gee, isn’t your skin terrifically thin. Mainstream literature — and especially classical literature, that everyone is required by law to respect — is overflowing with misogyny. Women are routinely bashed, dehumanized and columnied by poets and writers considered great, in works that are studied and respected the world over. When women find it objectionable, we are lectured that we should stop taking ourselves so seriously and appreciate literature without looking at it through a “narrow feminist lense”, in other words, suck it up, toots. But one single phrase unfriendly to men uttered by a character in one fairly obscure work of fiction — and all of a sudden you guys treat it like it’s the worst injustice ever, OMG, someone call the police, there is sexism in this one book here!! Forgive me if I am not entirely impressed with complaints about anti-male sexism in literature.

Tamen
Tamen
11 years ago

Aaliyah also wrote:

It could also be said that the men were less likely to report past victimizations (before 2010) because of internalized rape myths. This is certainly a possibility. But the same could be said for female rape victims, …

Then this paper might be of interest: Widom, C. S. & Morris, S. (1997). Accuracy of adult recollections of childhood victimization: Part 2. Childhood sexual abuse. Psychological Assessment, 8, 412-421.

In general, we found that women and men differ in the extent to which they recall or report having experienced childhood sexual abuse. Approximately 16% of men with documented cases of sexual abuse considered their early childhood experiences sexual abuse, compared with 64% of women with documented cases of sexual abuse.

Jim Hopper (one of the founding board member of 1in6.org) wrote about the Widom & Morris 1997 article:

As discussed in the paper, it is highly unlikely that all subjects who did not report sexual abuse (despite it being substantiated in childhood) simply did not remember that the events had occurred. Instead, as in all such studies, some percentage did not report prior abuse for other reasons – including unwillingness to disclose the information to researchers, current interpretations of those experiences as not abusive, etc. – and it appears these influences are greater for males than females.

Amused
11 years ago

A husband and wife have a disagreement, for whatever reason. The moment the wife gets angry, she gives the Husband the “don’t you dare” condescending look. Cut to the next scene……the Husband is sleeping on the couch. In his own house!

It’s her house too, douchecanoe.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
11 years ago

Now let’s take an example of a common situation on Modern TV :

A husband and wife have a disagreement, for whatever reason. The moment the wife gets angry, she gives the Husband the “don’t you dare” condescending look. Cut to the next scene……the Husband is sleeping on the couch. In his own house!

I apologize that some wife on a TV sitcom was rude to her husband and told him to sleep on the couch. I also apologize that Cruella De Vil stole 101 puppies to try to make a fur coat. Please make a list of any other mean fictional characters who are women, so I can take responsibility for their fictional actions.

theseventhguest
theseventhguest
11 years ago

@everyone
I know I do not really comment directly on the posts, or engage with the trolls. My beloved works third shift, so when I am awake and able to read through everything, it seems to always be at the ends of threads. By then, the salient issues of the post have all been brought up and hashed over far more eloquently than I would be able to manage.

I have always enjoyed the work and the emotion you are all able to put into the comments here. And I appreciate David’s work so much. I am not neutral on these things, but saying, “Me too!” on a thread just seems silly after 300 plus comments.

I have never really joined an online community and “spoken” before. So thanks for being great people, it makes me feel like it is safe to try it out.

Sorry to post so much on the end here. I tried to break it up a little. Should have been in bed hours ago. Tomorrow I will catch up on next thread.

theseventhguest
theseventhguest
11 years ago

@Amused
@thebionicmommy
Yes. Fictional characters and co-ownership. It also makes me think of Princess and the Pea, that the wife is considered too delicate to be able to sleep on the couch. Really going to bed now.

Tamen
Tamen
11 years ago

Aaliyah:

Since 4.3% of straight men in the sample reported being made to penetrate, the lifetime incidence is about 5%. For straight women it’s 17.4%. That means that straight women are three times more likely than straight men to be raped in their lifetime.

Which is just another way of saying that 1 in every 4 rape victim is male. Which is pretty close to the statement “every 5th rape victim is man raped by a woman” I made which Argenti Aertheri thought was beyond illogical.

augochlorella
11 years ago

Oh good. Derick’s back.

Hey, Derick, remember yesterday when you made this comment?

GaoGaiGar is Japanese. Japanese Media is meritorious.It is unlike the American Media.In fact it is almost the opposite. It does not portray insufferable Feminism.

You really didn’t fulfill your promise. You said you’d counter any aggrandized male character with an equally aggrandized female one. It shouldn’t matter that my example was Japanese. If feminist propaganda in America is as prevalent as you say it is, it should be easy to find an equivalent female character.

So where is it, Derick? WHERE’S MY FEMALE GAOGAIGAR?

Derick
Derick
11 years ago

@ Alex, about the Rape issue.

I believe that the concept of Rape is over-hyped, sensationalized.

Rape = Forced Sex

If we remove ‘Forced’ from the equation, what remains is Sex, that is a natural act.

So essentially, all the ballyhoo is because of the ‘Forced’ part, correct?

Now, this Forced part can range from anywhere from as little as subduing the victim forcefully, pinning the victim on the floor, to as extreme as killing the victim.

So the way it should be viewed is – Deprioritization of the Sex part, with the Priority being the Violent extent of the assault.

According to which, the sentence should be granted to the perpetrator.

What Feminists actually do it, they sensationalize it, precisely because for them it NOT about the sex, it is about their ‘EGO’ that was vanquished.

The entire uproar, pandemonium is because of nothing but EGO.

If you can refute this, then please do, if you cannot, then kindly agree with me and we will proceed after establishing that we have an accord

Amused
11 years ago

Rape = Forced Sex

No, rape = sex without consent.

According to your definition, having sex with someone who is unconscious or comatose isn’t rape. You really believe that?

What Feminists actually do it, they sensationalize it, precisely because for them it NOT about the sex, it is about their ‘EGO’ that was vanquished.

The entire uproar, pandemonium is because of nothing but EGO.

You bet your ass it’s about ego. The whole point of rape is to dehumanize the victim, to make her feel that she is worthless garbage. Most rapists actually have consensual relationships in their lives, so it’s not like they are “sex-starved”. But they go out and rape anyway, because this “forced part” — which you dismiss so derisively” — is what rapists get off on.

I’m not gonna “refute” your drivel by trying to convince you that women don’t have egos. Of course we do — because as much as you may deny it, we are human. I will not concede your utterly misogynistic assumption that women are wrong to be offended by rape, or the use of the threat of rape as a mechanism of social control over us.

Amused
11 years ago

GaoGaiGar is Japanese. Japanese Media is meritorious.It is unlike the American Media.In fact it is almost the opposite. It does not portray insufferable Feminism.

Right. Instead it portrays insufferable rape and women who invariably find sex painful and degrading. Which is probably the reason why (as far as I’ve heard), fewer and fewer people in Japan want to fuck.

Alex
11 years ago

@Derick, I can’t refute anything so incredibly incoherent. And I still think you’re Pell. If you aren’t, you took lessons from him.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
11 years ago

I also want to know what specifically caused the disagreement on the sitcom. Did the husband make a huge mistake that made his wife’s life more complicated or difficult? Because if that’s what happened, and it does on those types of crappy shows, then the overall message is misogynist. After all, she is the villain for getting mad or nagging. If there is a subconsciuos message, it’s that women are supposed to forgive and laugh off every bad thing their male partners do.

inurashii
inurashii
11 years ago

Rape = Forced Sex

If we remove ‘Forced’ from the equation, what remains is Sex, that is a natural act.

So essentially, all the ballyhoo is because of the ‘Forced’ part, correct?

Actually it’s ‘nonconsensual’, you reading genius, not ‘forced’.

And that’s what the ‘ballyhoo’ is about, you reductionist fool.

Take your false equivalency and slink off, you 101 debate class failure.

Bee
Bee
11 years ago

Tamen, nothing you addressed to me responds in any way to anything I said. Thanks, bye.

Derick
Derick
11 years ago

[quote=Sandy] You bet your ass it’s about ego. The whole point of rape is to dehumanize the victim, to make her feel that she is worthless garbage [/quote]

Exactly!! You DO agree with me, that it is about EGO, and not so much about Sex…

Correct?

Please answer with a simple Yes or No…

doomkitt3n
11 years ago
Reply to  Fibinachi

@fibinachi that was great! Brave New World is one of my favorites and definitely what I think of when people talk of alphas and betas.

doomkitt3n
11 years ago
Reply to  Fibinachi

@fibinachi that was great! Brave New World is one of my favorites and definitely what I think of when people talk of alphas and betas.

Amused
11 years ago

I also want to know what specifically caused the disagreement on the sitcom. Did the husband make a huge mistake that made his wife’s life more complicated or difficult? Because if that’s what happened, and it does on those types of crappy shows, then the overall message is misogynist. After all, she is the villain for getting mad or nagging. If there is a subconsciuos message, it’s that women are supposed to forgive and laugh off every bad thing their male partners do.

Plus, a man is allowed to be a rather average-looking, bumbling slob, but he’s still entitled to a hot wife who always fixes all his messes and still loves him foreva.

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