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The Myth of Warren Farrell: Farrell on Rape, Part One

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No book has had more influence over the Men’s Rights movement than Warren Farrell’s The Myth of Male Power. Published in 1993, in the heyday of the early 90s antifeminist backlash, it set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement as it’s developed over the last two decades.  He’s the one who came up with the notions of “male disposability” and the “death professions.” He’s the one who got MRAs fixated on the issue of draft registration.

Indeed, so pervasive has his influence been that if you see an MRA making a dumb argument anywhere on the Internet, the chances are probably more than 50-50 that it originated in the pages of Farrell’s book. Despite its age, and its eccentricity, The Myth of Male Power is still the first book recommended to MRA newbies in the sidebar of the Men’s Rights subreddit, the most active MRA hangout online.

It’s a book that deserves a lot more attention than I have been giving it on this blog. Sure, I’ve written about Farrell’s strange and creepy notions about incest, as set forth in a notorious interview in Penthouse in the 1970s, and about his recent attempts to explain away these views. But I haven’t devoted any blog posts to his most influential work. I intend to rectify that now, with a series of posts on some of Farrell’s chief arguments and assertions.

I will start with several posts on Farrell’s views on rape, which has been the subject of much controversy of late. This part will deal with his general statements on rape and sexuality; another will explore in more detail his views on date rape (did he really describe it as “exciting?”); and still another will look at the vast assortment of things he has inappropriately compared to rape.

Pinning down what Farrell “really believes” about rape – and indeed, about almost anything– is difficult. Farrell’s arguments, such as they are, are slippery and evasive. Instead of setting forth a clear argument about rape, Farrell instead provides us with a series of jumbled metaphors and strange comparisons. Instead of trying to summarize them – many of them defy summary — let’s just go through them one by one.

Farrell supporters will likely suggest that these quotes are taken “out of context,” to which I can only say: Check his book to see for yourself. None of his troubling quotes are any less troubling, or for that matter any clearer, in context, and many don’t have much of a context. Farrell writes in a rambling, free-associational style, and many of the “arguments” he makes in the following quotes seem to come from out of the blue, and are never developed further (though some, as you will see, are referenced again in later quotes).

Page numbers given are from the 1993 hardcover edition of The Myth of Male Power.

All that out of the way, let’s jump right in:

Near the start of his book , Farrell sets the tone for what will come by suggesting that men suffer as much sexual trauma from women’s mixed signals as women do from rape:

Feminism has taught women to sue men for sexual harassment or date rape when men initiate with the wrong person or with the wrong timing; no one has taught men to sue women for sexual trauma for saying “yes,” then “no,” then “yes.” … Men [are] still expected to initiate, but now, if they [do] it badly, they could go to jail. (p. 16)

Here, he elaborates on the notion that rape is a matter of bad timing, of “tak[ing] risks too quickly.”

In the past, both sexes were anxious about sex and pregnancy. Now the pill minimizes her anxiety and condoms increase his. Now the pimple faced boy must still risk rejection while also overcoming his own fear of herpes and AIDS and reassuring her there is nothing to fear. He must still do the sexual risk-taking, but now he can be put in jail if he takes risks too quickly or be called a wimp if he doesn’t take them quickly enough . (p. 168)

Here, Farrell falls back on the old “rape is misunderstanding” canard, and somehow manages to compare sexual activity –- from kissing up to and including rape — to eating a bag of potato chips.

It is also possible for a woman to go back to a man’s room, tell him she doesn’t want to have intercourse, mean it, start kissing, have intercourse, and then wish she hadn’t in the morning. How? Kissing is like eating potato chips. Before we know it, we’ve gone further than we said we would. (p. 311)

Here, he seems to seriously suggest that juries could do a better job judging rape cases if they were sexually aroused.

The problem with every judgment of sexual behavior is that it is made by people who aren’t being stimulated as they are making the judgment. A jury that sees a woman in a sterile courtroom, asks her what she wanted, and then assumes that anything else she did was the responsibility of the man is insulting not only the woman but the power of sex. (p. 312)

And then he returns to the potato chip metaphor.

A man being sued after a woman has more sex than intended is like Lay’s being sued after someone has more potato chips than intended. In brief, date rape can be a crime, a misunderstanding, or buyer’s remorse. (p. 312)

Farrell repeatedly tries to absolve men of sexual wrongdoing by suggesting that they are literally intoxicated by female beauty.

Sexually, of course, the sexes aren’t equal. It is exactly a woman’s greater sexual power that often makes a man so fearful of being rejected by her that he buys himself drinks to reduce his fear. In essence, her sexual power often leads to him drinking; his sexual power rarely leads to her drinking. If anything is evidence of her power over him, it is his being expected to spend his money to buy her drinks without her reciprocating.  …

It is  men – far more than women – whose mental capacities are diminished when they are “under the influence” of a beautiful woman. (p. 320)

But Farrell thinks it’s “sexist” – against men – to put men in jail for “selling sex” to intoxicated women:

As long as society tells men to be the salespersons of sex, it is sexist for society to put only men in jail if they sell well. We don’t put other salespersons in jail for buying clients drinks and successfully transforming a “no” into a “maybe” into a “yes.” If the client makes a choice to drink too much and the “yes” turns out to be a bad decision, it is the client who gets fired, not the salesperson.  (p. 321)

We’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of Warren Farrell’s equally daft and disturbing views on sex and rape. Stay tuned.

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Tamen
Tamen
11 years ago

Crappy thing people published in 1993 related to rape.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Sorta of topic but “Maybe the jury for murder trials should watch Saw 3 as part of their decision process/” thank you for reminding me to order Devil’s Carnival already (Bousman, EA, Marc Senter, and others, basically exactly what it sounds like, I think, having not seen it)

Also, EA and Senter make an amazing team (he’s the guard at the end of FLAG, and they’re both gorgeous)…Platonic Friends better pan out to be A Thing. /geekery

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

@Fibinaci:

Can Warren Farrell concieve of pain? Well, I don’t think he is a sociopath, actually. Because he seems to be able to concieve of men feeling pain.

It’s just women that he seems to think aren’t human and can’t feel pain.

But thank god he’s not a misogynist or anything.

Women Propaganda is EVERYWHERE. Women are deified, Men are belittled, and at the same time, the audience is subconsciously indoctrinated.

This is my first day on this website, so don’t worry, I’ll make sure that I inform everyone about the reality by the time I am done.

…this was like the lovechild of Owly and Pell for a few minutes there. It… I just… well… the thing is…

Wow.

freemage
11 years ago

Tammen: Yup. If the context doesn’t make her point clearer, that’s a horrible statement about rape–from 20 years ago. 1993 was also the first year that all 50 states considered marital rape a “thing that happens that shouldn’t,” and even then, only 17 of them were inclined to actually treat it like, y’know, rape. Several of them STILL pretty much require the use of actual force or the threat of force (ignoring other forms of coercion or incapacitation).

Tamen
Tamen
11 years ago

Mary P Koss is not only well known, she’s also influential. According to her cv she have served and do still serve on several advisory boards at CDC. CDC published the NISVS 2010 Report in December 2011 which did restrict the term rape to victims who have been penetrated – just in line with her 1993 paper. When asked about why men who are forced to penetrate their perpetrator aren’t raped they simply answered that it’s not rape because it’s not rape.

So, the paper was 20 years ago, but still have a real impact on official government policies.

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

…and I’m still waiting for the “gotcha” that makes this anywhere near as bad as Farrell’s poisonous and noxious views?

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

To be extra-clear:

Yes, Tamen’s spreading a view that ‘women can’t rape men by having sex with them when they don’t want it.’

Yes, that’s nasty in many ways.

But folks have become aware of that already.

And this is not a problem the way rape-denying shithead Farrell is a problem. It’s not feeding and founding a movement of its own that creates more and more shitheads out there denying rape.

Please, I’m begging you, bring up that one study the MRAs cite about ‘being made to penetrate.’

I’ll go find the link to Argenti’s thorough reading of said study.

augochlorella
augochlorella
11 years ago

@Tamen

That’s awful, but you’re not going to find anyone on this site who thinks that men can’t be raped or that men raped by women were by definition not really raped.

Male rape victims and rape apologists should be discussed. There are organizations (many feminist) that advocate for male victims of rape and for prison rape victims. However, it’s not really appropriate to respond to a discussion about rape apology for (what is implied is) male rapists of female victims with “I can find a single example of the reverse happening too!” as though the clears up the situation.

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

Oh, wait, this isn’t the first time Tamen has brought up that study!!!

http://manboobz.com/2012/01/25/quiz-how-did-reddits-atheist-community-responded-to-a-womans-account-of-rape/comment-page-3/

Nor the first time he’s been schooled on some of the massive problems with the data.

Whoooooooooops!!

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Epically short version is that most men who’re made to penetrate are, in fact, made to penetrate by a woman (as all orifaces are included, there were male perpetrators as well). Nonetheless, even within Arks’s stupid constraints, most perpetrators of rape where male.

This is my favorite part though:

– Coca Cola is a Zionist conspiracy to hide the truth of time cube from Mayan aliens.

WHUT? I’m not sure you know what a single one of those words actually means. (No, not even “the”.)

Because time cubes.

Tamen
Tamen
11 years ago

No gotchas except the one you provided yourself in your first reply.

The attempt to clarify that is noted, but you either aren’t very clear or you have a reading comprehension or a writing problem. I am not spreading that view, I am criticizing it.

No need to dig up any links, I know well that people here put no stock in the “last 12 months” prevalence numbers from that study. So I’ll settle with the lifetime figures: 1 in 4 rape victims are a man. Every 5th rape victim is a man raped by a woman.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Your point? Not to be flippant, quite the opposite, but feminists seem to be the ones not insulting male rape victims. None of the usual “how’d you let that happen to you” or MRM “lol getting laid is a gift!”

Also, for everyone else here, tamen means nevertheless in Latin, and might be my favorite word because 5 characters versus 12.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Oh and lifetime data is better for reasons I explained in my link above. Short simple version is just that even rape has “off” years where there was particularly much, or little, rape.

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

(typo in my comment back there–should be “Tamen’s POINTING OUT THAT KOSS IS spreading)

Argenti, wasn’t there a more recent go-through on that where you dug into some of the data-selection tools? I may be thinking of a different really-badly-done survey.

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

The attempt to clarify that is noted, but you either aren’t very clear or you have a reading comprehension or a writing problem. I am not spreading that view, I am criticizing it.

(I did already apologize for messing your name and Koss’ up there)

greendaywantsavatars
greendaywantsavatars
11 years ago

A) citation on 1 in 4, and B) even if, this isn’t some sort of contest. Some sort of really, really sick contest. Everytime we criticize a man’s awful opinions on rape doesn’t need a “what about teh menz”.

Re: Lifetime data vs past 12 months. Like, I admit I am a statistics noobie, but is there any situation past 12 months would be better in?

@Argenti

Are you good at latin? (asking b/c it’d come up before, re: your name and I think pecunium’s name and now you recognize tamen’s)

Buntzums
Buntzums
11 years ago

According to Farrell how do condoms increase men’s anxiety? Also if someone signs a contract while intoxicated or otherwise unfit, a contract can be over turned so his whole, sales is like men buying stuff for women in bars scenario, makes even less sense. Thanks for writing these I’ve often wanted to read other’s take on his ramblings.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Fade — first, 1 in 4 is slightly outdated (90s) data, the more recent CDC data is 1 in 5. Second, I took 4 years of Latin, but was never particularly good with the grammar. And yes, pecunium’s nym is also Latin. You nym swapped back again btw.

Howard — fuck, there was, but I can’t remember enough to google site search it! That was a fail study on DV though, not rape.

Fade
11 years ago

curses! /hope name swaps back now

inurashii
inurashii
11 years ago

So I read Tamen’s comments and I was trying to figure out how they were at all germane to the conversation, so I scrolled back, and discovered that there was really no context at all.

What are you bringing to the table, here? Rape sucks. Men and women should not rape. Feminism teaches us this and fights rape culture. This has anything to do with the promotion of Farrell’s rape apologia because … ?

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

Oh, yeah, the reciprocal violence one!

My mind jumped to that from ‘women are shown to rape just as much as men’ because both are false equivalences being held up by bad data.

Not the fisking I was looking for, then.

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

inurashii has it; it’s all about false equivalencies and going ‘yeah, maybe Farrell’s awful, but you’re all worse!!!!!!!!’

inurashii
inurashii
11 years ago

also I am pretty sure that is not how numbers work.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Fade is Fade again!

Howard, yeah, same general fail, but different topic and the utter failure of the survey method that excludes sexual violence as DV is (amazingly failboating) irrelevant.

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