Don’t worry, it’s not a video BY an MRA. It’s a video ABOUT MRAs. A little cartoon, to be specific, by Scott Benson, who has this to say about it on his Vimeo page:
A quick editorial cartoon about the intersection of self-pity, entitlement, rape, territoriality, misogyny and fear of women. You see it all over the place online in the form of Men’s Rights Activists (of whom there are a few reasonable non-misogynists), Men Going Their Own Way, Pick Up Artists, and dudes touting the “Red Pill”, because The Matrix is a good movie. Look any of these up if you have the stomach for it. These are extreme examples, but watered-down forms of these ideas are everywhere.
In lurking their blogs and youtube channels for a while, I’ve noticed that beyond the standard patriarchal chauvinism there is this deep fear of women – what they will do to me, how they will reject me, how they will use me, how they are changing society in a way that does not favor me, how they are making men into something I don’t like, how they are making themselves into something I don’t like, that they won’t give me what I want, and that they won’t give me what I think is rightfully mine. This goes beyond fear of feminism- this is fear of women at its purest. And that, to quote a puppet, leads to anger and hate. It’s sad.
Naturally, Benson had to close the comments to the video because of, you know, too much MRA.
He wrote more about it all on his Tumblr.
I was alerted to the video by various people, including Cloudiah, which reminds me to remind you all to go look at Cloudiah’s excellent Artistry for Feminism And Kittens blog.
@Falconer:
I can see that too… and people saying ‘abandon the children (except mine!)’ or ‘Why do you take his/her brat, my kid deserves to be saved more!’ etc. and the 4 in the boat pushing out any that threaten their survival (they might have an argument about when and which one first, and surely their own last) later… or die heroically and nobody gets saved.
Yes. People are (usually) attached to their children, but other people’s kids not that much (except really altruistic people, but even they aren’t likely to put those children before their own).
As I said I’m a cynic. :/
@Malitia:
I used to be a cynic. It was easy. You find examples all the time of people being selfish, of people hurting other people. It’s on the news, the Bible says it’s the natural state of man. It made me feel better about myself, because I was putting in just enough effort to feel like I was better than most.
I’m not anymore.
I’ve met too many people who give till they bleed. Too many people who will risk their own life to save a stranger. They’ll do it today. Then tomorrow. Then the next day.
The numbers tell me just under 1% of Americans are volunteering with a fire department or the Red Cross. Those volunteers give up a significant amount of their life.
And nearly 40% of Americans volunteer in some formal form, giving some time monthly.
Citation on the giving. Statistics on volunteer firefighters and Red Cross volunteers can be found pretty easily.
I used to be a cynic, but I just met too many heroes of all sizes. It got too hard to maintain after that. Sure, you can write off the first hundred you meet. “They’re in it for the accolades.” The first time you actually get in the trenches with them and watch them wear themselves down to exhaustion you realize that the accolades sound pretty dim from in there.
People can be shits. But they can be pretty awesome too.
With the “equivalent exchange” thing, I think the thought process is “I’m giving her what she wants (friendship), so she should give me what I want (sex)!” The problem is that if you’re only doing it to get something in return, what you’re giving isn’t friendship at all. Friendship is fundamentally unselfish.
Not to mention, they expect women to read their minds. Most nice guys don’t even say they want sex, they just kind of mope around and whine about girls dating “assholes”.
Malitia, I would like to please motorboat those kitten bellies, one after another.
I wrote a long and kind of whiny comment but I deleted it back after I disgusted myself enough with self-pity. It was way to stupid anyway.
I’m Hungarian by the way. :]
Is something wrong? I mean, cuz people have ranted here before about stuff sucking in life, and I don’t think anyone’d mind if you want someone to talk to.
But if not, just ignore this. XD
I am known to be very self-pitiful when achey and sick, just for the info.
As a former Nice Guy, I’ll confirm just about all of the above. It is worth noting that it’s usually not as explicit at that, in your head, but that is what it tends to boil down to. There’s a whole LOT of unexamined actions and thought-processes going on, actually. For instance, most NGs can point to a long string of anecdata about women who ignore “Nice Guys” (unstated: like me) while dating jerks/assholes. What most NGs fail to realize is that they’re doing an incredible degree of self-selection (people who are vulnerable to emotional abusers are also prone to trying to find undemanding friendships and sympathetic listeners, which is what the NG seems to be offering them) and confirmation bias (during my NG phase, I had maybe forty or so women friends whom I would’ve cheerfully accepted as potential partners–if they’d been the ones to make the first move, since I was being too ‘nice’ to ask them out–but I’d focus on the two or three who genuinely did end up with actual abusers/cheaters as proof that no woman wants a Nice Guy).
Of course, I also inflated the numbers of ‘asshole boyfriends’ (the ‘two or three’ number above is in retrospect; at the time, I would’ve sworn that fully half of them had ‘chosen’ assholes over Nice-me-Guys) by invariably taking the woman’s side in a mutually disastrous break-up–which, of course, are very, very common in high school and college, which is where the NG phenomenon is most common.
Another bit of self-sabotage: falling for a girl who is safely ‘taken’ (especially if the boyfriend is someone you’re inclined to disapprove of). This immediately makes it safe for you to vent to her about your own frustrations (in a general sense, never mentioning her specifically, of course), because you can tell yourself that if only she wasn’t with so-and-such, you could ask her out yourself. This is an excellent way to evade rejection, of course, but it also means you end up very, very frustrated.
Most NGs, like myself, eventually get out of this rut in one fashion or another, but it is very, very seductive and invisible when you’re inside it, because you’re quite deliberately creating situations where the evidence supports your existing worldview. (I broke free when I realized that a particular ‘joke’ of mine–that I had a knack for picking the least eligible woman in a mile radius to fall for–was actually just about a literal truth. I started then and there looking for eligible women, found one, got to see an unhealthy relationship and ugly break-up from the inside, and realized that most of those cases I’d been so judge-y about were probably just as two-sided as my own split–then went through some more casual dating and finally found the woman I can grow old with.)
@Malitia: sorry for the US-centric stats–that’s where I’m from, obviously, so that’s what I see, locally.
Sometimes it’s both radical and hard to see the potential for good in people, especially when faced with awful people. But I also struggled with depression a lot through my late teens and twenties–so for me getting past the view of all other people as being utterly untrustworthy and horrible.
Like Fade said, if you’d like to talk, the regulars here are generally wide open to talking. (and the trolls just want to scream)
That video was actually kind of terrifying.
Awesome, but it was so surreal, and the wonky music, and the robotic voice, and the colors… Gee.
(Super impressive and cool though!)
Hah, you womyn obviously know nothing about straight male psychology. For a guy , a girlfriend is the next step , the evolution, after girl friend. Getting friendzoned is getting stuck between states of being for a guy who expects to level up from boy friend to boyfriend. It’s not just about the physical sex, but the intimacy of pairbonding. But womyn never understand anything at all anyway. No wonder why the joke goes that the beta-and-below guys who go to psychiatrists usually end up talking about nothing except their (s)mothers tsk tsk. And oh, those who are ragging on femra’s now know what it’s like for guys to have to deal with manginas.
Abnoy: Allow me, as a straight guy to set the record straight. All you women here take note.
Abnoy: You Are Full of Shit.
….yes, they know. As they just got done saying, THAT’S THE PROBLEM.
So full of shit.
Manginas want to take away your right to vote? Fellow mangines, did I miss a memo?
Hey, annoy, did you know that it doesn’t matter what some whiny guy who doesn’t understand the concept of friendship thinks?
I didn’t know the Dating Game was TM and Copyright 1987 TSR, Inc.
Howard: Oh, you know how it is–our Women Feminist Overlords obviously aren’t telling us ALL of the agenda; we’ve just accepted it blindly and obediently.
Falconer: Well, in First Edition, sure–by 3rd, though, “Boyfriend” and “Girlfriend” became Prestige Classes.
“Getting friendzoned is getting stuck between states of being for a guy who expects to level up from boy friend to boyfriend.”
I can believe that. Nice Guys(tm) aren’t boyfriend, and they’re not friend either. They may pose as such, but people who secretly resent you for not fucking them and believe you should act like a sex vending machine are DEFINITELY not your friends.
Go hug a cactus, Abnoy.
That sums up my worldview pretty well. I’ve been fairly lucky in knowing way more of the awesome ones, than the shits.
I take my worldview from Monty Python:
CLOUDIAH – I saw your blog for the first time today, and it was one of the only things that got me through a really bad bout of migraine (once the light sensitivity wore off). I have been a manboobz reader for almost a year, but I didn’t realize all the awesome bloggery that was around. You’re a darn wonder.
I see that while I was sick the trolls have resurfaced. Could pemra be an Abnoy sock? I don’t know how these things work.
I’m off to a job interview!
Also, LOLing at “Straight male psychology”
A google image search for this reveals this:
http://filmsnoir.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/deadlierthanthemale-178×300.jpg
which made me LOL again.
Aw bahumbugi, thanks. I mostly started it for selfish reasons, to have a place to collect all the things that had made me laugh or go “wow” here, but I’m glad other people enjoy it too.
Good luck with the interview!
@freemage: Oh, I thought the line had been cancelled and all the copies were sitting gathering dust in a warehouse next to the Indiana Jones RPG. Huh.
Good luck, bahumbugi! Glad to hear your migraine is better.
Fuck you, Abnoy, and your assertion that all my awesome happy platonic friendships with women who make me laugh and smile and which involve, as far as I can tell, zero sexual tension are doing it wrong.
Fuck you.
<a href="http://i1311.photobucket.com/albums/s669/HuddiBras2/KindnessCoins_zps275945ad.jpg" Here, I made you a quick quiz. Which of the two paths seem most likely?"