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Funny Men’s Rights Video Time!

Don’t worry, it’s not a video BY an MRA. It’s a video ABOUT MRAs. A little cartoon, to be specific, by Scott Benson, who has this to say about it on his Vimeo page:

A quick editorial cartoon about the intersection of self-pity, entitlement, rape, territoriality, misogyny and fear of women. You see it all over the place online in the form of Men’s Rights Activists (of whom there are a few reasonable non-misogynists), Men Going Their Own Way, Pick Up Artists, and dudes touting the “Red Pill”, because The Matrix is a good movie. Look any of these up if you have the stomach for it. These are extreme examples, but watered-down forms of these ideas are everywhere.

In lurking their blogs and youtube channels for a while, I’ve noticed that beyond the standard patriarchal chauvinism there is this deep fear of women – what they will do to me, how they will reject me, how they will use me, how they are changing society in a way that does not favor me, how they are making men into something I don’t like, how they are making themselves into something I don’t like, that they won’t give me what I want, and that they won’t give me what I think is rightfully mine. This goes beyond fear of feminism- this is fear of women at its purest. And that, to quote a puppet, leads to anger and hate. It’s sad.

Naturally, Benson had to close the comments to the video because of, you know, too much MRA.

He wrote more about it all on his Tumblr.

I was alerted to the video by various people, including Cloudiah, which reminds me to remind you all to go look at Cloudiah’s excellent Artistry for Feminism And Kittens blog.

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doctornic
8 years ago

Welp, that’s my new favourite video.

cloudiah
8 years ago

David, your bribe is in the mail. Thank you for mentioning my blog, which is a (entertaining, I hope) parasite on your blog.

And this video, words can’t express how much I love it — everything from the perfect music, to the animations, to the message, to his Tumblr post about it.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
8 years ago

You know, I ended up (despite all my best efforts) listening to “Accidental Racist” the other day and I’ve been trying ever since to put my finger on exactly why I fount it so very irritating. I was watching this video and it occurred to me that, boiled down, what it amounts to is

“Don’t hate me for wearing this symbol representing the systematic degradation and repression of a group of human beings based solely on a specious, pseudo-scientific idea. I just like one particular subgroup of people who used the symbol as a bit of empty nostalgia, and some of my friends are black! I’m totally a nice guy if you just get to know me!”

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

Wow. I would rate that video as excellent. It’s succinct as hell. The image of a man getting most of the ice-cream, then when a woman finally gets to have her share, the man figure throws a tantrum. Then the robotic voice repeating, “I’m afraid, I’m afraid,” followed by “I’m afraid of myself, I’m afraid of women.” Yeah. Irrational. It reminds me of all the times a male co-worker has told me I was only hired because I’m a woman.
“I’m afraid, I’m afraid….”

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
8 years ago

“fount”? Really? Go to bed, Gillian, you’re drunk.

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

His Tumbler statements are awesome. This is part of it:

” It’s almost like women are still only getting a foothold in a lot of societal niches that men take for granted. But they get that one scoop of ice cream from the endless ice cream pump and all some men can see is that there is one less scoop for them. And until someone comes up with something better, Feminism is the only game in town really fighting the fight to figure this shit out. If MRA want to take up that mantle, they had best start weeding out the trolls and misogynists before they ask anyone to take them seriously. Because they’ve got more of the latter than the former. I’m all for addressing issues that men face. I am a man, of course. But blaming women and feminism for this shit is just as disingenuous as white people blaming the civil rights movement for removing their special water fountains, whites only housing and- gasp!- attempting to address the institutional inequality in hiring and college admissions. Won’t someone think of the poor white folk?

I would argue that this video DOES address men’s issues. Men are hurting themselves with this reactionary, angry, fearful shit. Let’s start with that, maybe, and work up to the portrayal of dudes in cleaning product commercials.”

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

It’s tumblr, not tumbler. Sorry.

amandajane5
amandajane5
8 years ago

Seriously, that animation of the ice cream is so ridiculously poignant and on point. It’s always kind of unreal, and AWESOME, when a man does this kind of thing, because I know I can’t be heard as well because my voice is pitched higher and I’m just here for making babies (never!) and various assorted reasons that assume women are some sort of monolith and not actual thinking people. Only David could have made this blog and still be taken seriously, but he’s been rolling with the punches for years (said punches being mostly called fat and a mangina) and he still does it, because he sees the death and rape threats women get when saying the same thing, and continues to speak out on our behalf, because he can, and he will.

Anyway, thank you David.

cloudiah
8 years ago

Shiraz, I speak and declare that you shall be forgiven for spelling things the correct way instead of the ways of the Internetz. This time. 😀

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

Heh, thanks cloudiah. 🙂

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

“Feminism is the only game in town really fighting the fight to figure this shit out.”

What an awesome declaration.

Malitia
Malitia
8 years ago

This video is still awesome. 🙂

sd
sd
8 years ago

LOVE it

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

More of this artist’s tumblr comments:

“It’s fear. It’s fear of feminism, but most of everything I just listed goes beyond that- it’s fear of women. Witness the “nice guys” who feel cheated that a girl they were nice to isn’t responding in kind with sex. Witness the gamers who talk about how women laughed at them in high school and so fuck them, dude, they just like the jocks. Witness the guys who are angry that the woman at the office “just can’t take a joke”. This is all fear, fear of rejection, fear of losing the place in society one thinks men are entitled to, fear of the chaos that having a woman around might cause. Not every viewer is going to see themselves in it. And certainly people are complicated and even dumb ideas are just as complicated. But I think a lot of people (including myself earlier in my life), might see a little bit of themselves in it. Or at least that’s the hope, and the responses I’ve been getting overwhelmingly affirm this.”

Robotarmygeneral
Robotarmygeneral
8 years ago

Ha, that was awesome! I might bookmark that for possible emergency use after my interview this week. After the last group of odd, engineer knuckleheads who didn’t like someone who asked “why” instead of “how high” and had the temerity to not succumb to the vapors at the thought of rough men or dangerous equipment (not a euphemism) – I’m wary of how this group will turn out. I’m getting good vibes, but you can never tell…

Aaliyah
8 years ago

I definitely should have watched this while stoned.

saintnick86
8 years ago

Hey y’all, been a long-time reader and – after realizing I actually had a WordPress account – decided to chime in.

I came across the video a few days back and loved it. It’s brief but really succinct. His response to the anonymous comment, even if it is a bit wordy, does summarize my problems with the MRA and how juvenile their position is. I’m not in any way perfect and would be lying if I didn’t say that, at one point, I had similar feelings of bitterness towards women – but I moved on and improved on who I was by coming to understand that it wasn’t a healthy or productive way of thinking. Most of these guys see, stuck in the same mindset they were as teenagers; any slight criticism towards them makes them explode in rage and construe a myriad of excuses that are nonsensical (“I’m not a misogynist – I just dislike feminism!”) along with constant self-victimization (though they love to accuse others of such) leading to paranoid theorizing based on pure conjecture (I’ve NEVER seen one cite sources that weren’t from MRA sites, which is like a religious zealot using the Bible to “prove” how “true” the Bible is), all while not realizing that being jackasses is not given immunity under “free speech.” Weird, however, given they stop giving a shit about such once they can stalk and harass someone who said something they dislike (HOW DARE THEY?!?!).

It’d all be hilarious were it not for the fact I hear these kind of sentiments in real life and had former friends who started spewing such bile. For a period of time, I had been ignoring MRAs and their activities for a while until a friend on Facebook decided to post GirlWritesWhat and Warren Farrel videos. I bothered to point out my problems with them (basically how nothing they said about history or human behavior was at all true), wherein he got defensive and started with this “that is your truth, not mine” because he couldn’t counter anything I said and had the gull to ask me to “agree to disagree”. ‘Cause stuff like that is no different than preferring chocolate over vanilla, right? I don’t tolerate that shit with Creationists and I won’t with misogynistic creeps. You don’t just make absurd, all-encompassing claims about reality and then dismiss disagreement of any sort as “censorship” (yet another word they have no understanding of) or not bothering to back it up in any way. People do it too often these days and it becomes dangerous when it actually warps minds like this.

marinerachel
marinerachel
8 years ago

I feel completely validated right now. Wow. This is actually an amazing feeling.

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

Love this. Yay for Scott Benson

Aaliyah
8 years ago

Welcome, saintnick86! I’m glad to hear you hate GWW as much as I do and for the same reasons.

Did you ever watch her video about Nice Guys (TM)? It was awful.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

N00b!!! Don’t worry, that’s a welcome cry around this parts, please take one complimentary welcome package and enjoy your stay 🙂

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Around these* parts >.<

I’m going to bed (for real this time) g’night

BritterSweet
BritterSweet
8 years ago

A little bit of analysis on the symbolism in the cartoon:

Notice how when the guy is eating the ice cream, his cone is never empty. Even when he’s eating, the red scoop stays. Then at the end, the machine keeps dropping ice cream even when the woman is gone. This shows us how rights are not limited in supply, and letting her have some doesn’t mean he can’t eat anymore. And privilege means you always had rights by default, but you’re often not even aware of it because, hey, it’s always been there (hence the guy ignoring that red scoop).

saintnick86
8 years ago

I haven’t, mostly ’cause hearing her make the same (incorrect) point over and over for 20 minutes the few times I have made me want to blow my brains out. What I don’t get about FeMRAs is how they can be THAT hostile to other women, when they should be able to empathize given they can be just as susceptible to such degrading treatment (MRAs seem to only tolerate them because they assuage their egos). Guess there’s always an “Uncle Tom” when it comes to hate groups – even self-hating Jews can become Neo-Nazis (which, as a Jew, does disturb me). It really must take a lot of energy to be that willfully ignorant to believe horrible things like domestic abuse being positively constructive (I can’t wrap my mind around that at all).

The one my former friend posted was lamenting the “men and women first” rule of the Titanic as somehow devaluing the life of men in society (…wha…?). Other than the fact that rule isn’t implemented anymore – I sincerely doubt it was used because feminists want to devalue the lives of men. Seemed practical (at least at the time) to get women and children to safety first because the earlier could have more offspring and the latter are still young. The fact this is a big deal among MRAs is pretty strange – it’d be like still hating all Mongolians due to Genghis Khan. Though, now that I think about it, that was the exact premise of my favorite SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM episode…

saintnick86
8 years ago

Gah, sorry – should’ve clarified I was replying to Aaliyah.

saintnick86
8 years ago

Oh, and the spinning seal? Best thing ever. 😀

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Welcome, saintnick86! 🙂

Aaliyah
8 years ago

I haven’t, mostly ’cause hearing her make the same (incorrect) point over and over for 20 minutes the few times I have made me want to blow my brains out.

She basically said that “nice guys” don’t actually feel that they are entitled to intimacy because they work for the attention by being nice. Which doesn’t make any sense because it doesn’t detract from the actual criticism of “nice guys”: that they have no reason whatsoever to assume that intimacy should be a reward for nice behavior. She also invoked evolutionary psychology nonsense to “prove” that feminists who hate “nice guys” are really just trying to quell their cognitive dissonance, which is caused by feminists purporting their love for “nice guys” while subconsciously craving manly men instead. Because “nice guys” can’t satisfy any woman or something (although I wouldn’t be surprised at all if most women don’t like “nice guys” since they aren’t really nice at all).

What I don’t get about FeMRAs is how they can be THAT hostile to other women, when they should be able to empathize given they can be just as susceptible to such degrading treatment (MRAs seem to only tolerate them because they assuage their egos)

It makes me sick when I see other women espouse that FeMRA hostility. It’s like betrayal in a sense. I know that sexism is wrong regardless of who it’s coming from, but sometimes I have even more hatred for FeMRAs when I hear them talk about their fellow women as if they’re subhuman. It’s horrific in a way.

I suppose my feelings don’t really matter to her, though, since I don’t expect her to take a trans* woman like me seriously. If she’s invested in defending binarist, cis-centric evolutionary psychology, I doubt that she cares about radical gender politics and opposing transphobia.

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

@Aaliyah It makes me sad more than angry. They’ve internalised a powerful and self-destructive societal message. I recently met a pregnant young woman. She told me she had found out her baby was a girl. I have two little girls and I broke out in smiles and congratulated her. She said, “I’m disappointed actually. I wanted a boy.” I asked her why and she said, “Girls are bitches.” It’s certain she will change her mind when she meets her baby, but that’s some hard-core self-hatred right there, and so openly and unselfconsciously expressed.

Aaliyah
8 years ago

It makes me sad more than angry. They’ve internalised a powerful and self-destructive societal message. I recently met a pregnant young woman. She told me she had found out her baby was a girl. I have two little girls and I broke out in smiles and congratulated her. She said, “I’m disappointed actually. I wanted a boy.” I asked her why and she said, “Girls are bitches.” It’s certain she will change her mind when she meets her baby, but that’s some hard-core self-hatred right there, and so openly and unselfconsciously expressed.

That’s really awful. I hope her daughter doesn’t catch or is affected by her self-hatred.

I guess the reason it makes me more angry than sad goes beyond that feeling of betrayal I described. It’s also because I feel that they make things so much worse for everyone by perpetuating patriarchal norms by themselves. They’re the kind of people anti-feminists point to and say “See, look at this woman – she’s a woman who thinks that feminism is wrong and women don’t deserve equal rights and respect. Why don’t you uppity ladies listen to her and stop clamoring for your rights and respect?”

And in doing so these FeMRAs also perpetuate the self-hatred you describe. I mean, I haven’t ran into a single FeMRA who doesn’t seem to be having some self-esteem issue.

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

@Aaliyah Yes, but you get the feeling that when she has the baby her feelings will be that it is all those other women who are bitches, not her little girl – just like women mras think about themselves. As for the kid catching it, let’s hope not. As you know – and as I know too – you can come out of a misogynist family with your decency intact. It’s hard, though.
I do understand what you say about betrayal, I agree. It’s frustrating to see mras see themselves validated this way.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Aaliyah, the MRAs and feMRAs also regularly ignore (or can’t grasp) that there’s a world of difference between a genuinely nice guy and a NiceGuy™, and it’s the latter that is criticised and scorned. The NiceGuy™ isn’t nice at all outside his own mind. It’s been said many times: he’s the type who thinks women are sex vending machines, and that when he puts kindness coins in, he should automatically get the sex he’s paid for. An actual nice guy – a decent human being – isn’t like that.

saintnick86
8 years ago

@Archeoholmes: I really don’t get that attitude and…really terrible sentiment for a parent-to-be to have towards their own child. My grandmother was the same way – which explains why she’s always treated my aunt like shit and has turned my man-child of an uncle (who leeches off her like a vampire does a village in Transylvania) who has the same horrendous attitude towards women. Thankfully it hasn’t rubbed off (completely) onto my other uncles, though I sometimes think it has with my dad given random comments he’s made. Maybe it was just him trying to be funny – it’s hard to tell with him.

As a guy who really want children at some point in the future, I’d…actually prefer having a daughter over a son. Though having a son wouldn’t “disappoint” me either, ’cause that’d be shitty. Maybe it’s just due to being raised largely by a single mother who I confided in often, since having a personal discussion with my dad was something I dreaded. He’s really impatient and kind of selfish, often whining “what about MY life?!” whenever I wanted help with something, as if I never give him any time alone (I do, a ton). I suppose I’m partially afraid I’d do the same thing to my son, inadvertently, due to my own relationship with my father (“Kronos Syndrome” I like to call it) while I’d feel more comfortable raising a daughter.

saintnick86
8 years ago

*ArchAeoholmes, my mistake…

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

@saintnick86 Yes, it is a terrible attitude. Like I say, it’s hard to believe it will persist after the baby is born. The attitude is about generic “women”, not anyone you actually know. They are those mythical. typical bitches like the ones mras are obsessed with.

Malitia
Malitia
8 years ago

“women and children first” rule of the Titanic … It was a long time ago but if I remember correctly what I read about it: It was an exception and the captain give it in order and allowed the crew to enforce it with deadly force if necessary. If anything this tells us that he expected the men on the ship to try to save themselves at the cost of the lives of the weaker. :/

mirakurun
mirakurun
8 years ago

About the Titanic, the so-called “Birkenhead Drill” has never been codified as international maritime law, and studies even suggest that survival rates favour men in general accidents. The only preferential treatment occurring today appears to involve disabled or pregnant passengers.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16576289
http://www.nek.uu.se/Pdf/wp20128.pdf

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

She basically said that “nice guys” don’t actually feel that they are entitled to intimacy because they work for the attention by being nice.

So… “Nice Guys” don’t feel entitled to intimacy, they just… feel entitled to intimacy? Psst, GWW, you’re arguing with yourself.

saintnick86
8 years ago

@Malitia: That is definitely more symptomatic of a patriarchal attitude (“these women are too weak to take care of themselves!”) than a supposedly matriarchal one. It still seems that, in a scenario where not everyone can be saved, that children would be given priority over adults regardless of their gender. I simply can’t imagine anyone (other than someone horrible, obviously) that would consider them expendable, given they still have the potential to grow up and be adults themselves. Still, ideally, many people should be saved as possible regardless of who they are – it’s a human life.

Malitia
Malitia
8 years ago

Well, I would put it more “children are weak and women are there to raise them” not that this isn’t just as sexist.
But I meant by it’s an exception that if I remember correctly men were statistically more likely to survive such accidents, which probably means than the “women and children first” rule wasn’t universally used.

In scenarios where not everyone can be saved, well, (in my very limited experience)… if there are still resources for non productive members, then children tend to be prioritized, but if there isn’t they will be left behind. Less vaguely: if for survival the boat needs 4 people to row their places can’t be given to children, if the boat isn’t big enough for more than 4 people all others will be left behind.

Also in older days when child-death was more common and people had more kids children were seen as being more expendable. Then the logic (however cruel it is) would probably go: “Why waste resources on someone who potentially won’t grow up if you can save more young and healthy adults, who can have more children in the long run?”

Except if they are rich of course if the Titanic taught me anything that is: “Rich people will be saved”.

Sorry. I’m cynical.

Kim
Kim
8 years ago

@saintnick
The way you described the dynamic between your grandmother and your aunt and uncle, and your dad’s behaviour reminded me a LOT of the stories on a blog I read called the narcissist’s child. Obviously I don’t know if the situations bear more than a superficial resemblance, but that blog is well worth a read for anyone.

Malitia
Malitia
8 years ago

“Rich people will be saved” I think survival rates vent:
1th class: 6 out of 10
2nd class: 4 out of 10
3rd class: less than 1 out of 10

Malitia
Malitia
8 years ago

Why isn’t there an edit button?

3rd class (roughly): 2 out of 10

Fade
8 years ago

Maybe it was just him trying to be funny – it’s hard to tell with him.

Ugh, my dad has done so much awful shit in attempts to be funny. He used to value making people laugh at the expense of… well,common decency. I hypothesize it’s because of his white male privilege*, but I suppose that would be “misandry”.

Luckily, he’s tried to stop when I told him I was only comfortable with jokes that “punch up” (as in towards the oppressors).

*seriously, one of his shticks was a fakey japanese accent. bleh. X|

Fade
8 years ago

@Malita

I think there’s not an edit button because then the trolls could keep editing their posts and basically lying about what they’re saying.

Falconer
8 years ago

In scenarios where not everyone can be saved, well, (in my very limited experience)… if there are still resources for non productive members, then children tend to be prioritized, but if there isn’t they will be left behind. Less vaguely: if for survival the boat needs 4 people to row their places can’t be given to children, if the boat isn’t big enough for more than 4 people all others will be left behind.

See, I would expect people to cram in their children everywhere they could, possibly without considering the effect on the chances for the whole lifeboat.

So that lifeboat with 4 adult rowers is going to be crowded with children and yes, it probably will have to launch while parents are still trying to shove children aboard, but no one’s going to be saying, abandon the children!

And even when the chances of surviving childhood were small, parents still got attached to children, enough so that those who could afford it often handed their babies off to nurses and others to raise, to try and minimize the emotional pain when a child did cough itself to death (for example).

Aaliyah
8 years ago

Aaliyah, the MRAs and feMRAs also regularly ignore (or can’t grasp) that there’s a world of difference between a genuinely nice guy and a NiceGuy™, and it’s the latter that is criticised and scorned. The NiceGuy™ isn’t nice at all outside his own mind. It’s been said many times: he’s the type who thinks women are sex vending machines, and that when he puts kindness coins in, he should automatically get the sex he’s paid for. An actual nice guy – a decent human being – isn’t like that.

I agree completely.

Watching that video made me cringe so hard that the world shook. She even had the audacity to imply that the NiceGuy™ is actually a good friend everyone should be grateful for having. And that any woman who hates the NiceGuy™ isn’t worthy of friendship in the first place.

Aaliyah
8 years ago

Oh, and it was 30 minutes long FFS. Half an hour of her essentially saying “Feminist women are terrible, and attack ‘nice guys’, those really genuinely nice people not filled with entitlement at all, only because they’re insecure and trying to make themselves feel better.”

Malitia
Malitia
8 years ago

@Fade: I understand. 🙂

And now something completely different! Update on the tabby kittens:

http://mahou.imouto.org/board/pic/780e552ea44508434ea40adacd9b44cb.jpg

Howard Bannister
8 years ago

@Aaliyah: Yeah, This. I think I had a rant about The Law of Equivalent Exchange? Because one of our trolls didn’t get it, and joked about it, and it underlined that he thought that in response for any friendship at all he was OWED sex, which was totally equivalent to friendship.

That’s the problem, right there.

I mean, not that you owe anybody anything. That’s bullshit to begin with. But then you’re certainly not owed something that’s on a totally different level from what you’re putting in.

Because it’s all about the entitlement. Men are entitled to women’s bodies.

That’s why the MRM slut-shames women on the one hand while complaining they ought to be getting more. To them it makes perfect sense. How dare she sleep with somebody else? She owes ME. How dare she not sleep with me? She owes ME.

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