Two weeks ago, you may recall, antifeminist crusader and recent A Voice for Men recruit Erin Pizzey made an “Ask Me Anything” appearance on Reddit which was a rousing success, at least by the standards of Reddit and the Men’s Rights movement. (By the standards of logic and ordinary human decency, not so much.) This Saturday, she gave a sort of encore.
Here are some of the interesting things I learned from her latest three-hour appearance. (I haven’t read all thousand-plus comments in the thread; this is based solely on what she herself said. Click on the headlines to see her original comments in their entirety, in context.) Her comments are, as always, models of good sense and lucidity.
Ban feminists from government perhaps! Personally, I think, I would describe feminism, and I have fought for 40 years to publicize the damage that they were doing to family life and men and boys. To me, to condemn men as sole perpetrators of all or almost all atrocities in this world, feminists are a hate movement. I say this because just recently Sweden, Norway, and I think Finland are trying to bring in a law in those countries that will make any criticism of feminism a punishable offense. That is not the action of a movement dedicated to equality and freedom of speech for all, it is totalitarianism.
As far as I’m concerned, a sufficient amount of women have reached boardrooms and many of them publicly have said that they prefer a quality of life which includes family time, which for women in many ways is more important because we, in the long term, through our children and grandchildren. Men, as they climb up the steps to fame and fortune define themselves by how well they can take care of their wives and children. Different lifestyles, different goals, very few women want to spend the time and the total energy in making that high-achieving career lifestyle.
According to the most recent Catalyst survey, only 16.6% of Fortune 500 board members are women, and an even smaller percentage (14.3%) are CEOs. That’s a very strange notion of equality you have there, Ms. Pizzey.
So many men are lickspittles. Often in my travels when I’m speaking, I have asked men, informally, why they would never stand up to women who were devoted to the idea of a world without men. The honest answer was they were too dependent on having relationships with women to stand up for what they believed. …
I think most men live lives of quiet desperation–that’s a quote, I can’t remember who said it but it’s true.
I believe that was Elmer Fudd.
Wait, no, he said something about hunting wabbits. No idea, then. Who could have Thoreau-n such an idea around? Walden you like to know?
I’m not surprised that men are going their own way. Why would any sane man want to risk losing his property, his relationship with his wife, his financial stability, the children that he will be deprived of… at the moment, men don’t have any rights in this area. In England, Harriet Harman and her very powerful harpies are trying to bring in a law that will mean a woman has only got to live with a man for a very short period of time before she’s entitled to exactly the same amount of money and power that is given to married women. That’s already happened in Australia and Canada too!
I am constantly in the company of women in their late 30s and 40s who after choosing a career have decided they want children and marriage. I have to regretfully inform them that the present climate against men, they are very unlikely to have a relationship with a man and will probably never have children.
It’s true. Nowhere is the problem more noticeable than Los Angeles, by the way, where men give themselves the right to date (meaning, they can have sex with as many women as they want at the same time)… very sad situation, but, why would they do anything else? The legal system can destroy them if they commit to a relationship.
The Feminist Hegemony will fuck up your hard drive:
I did manage to get exactly one paper published, decades after the fact, on the surveys I did of the first 100 women in my Refuge. Just one, in a tiny journal. … But the feminist hegemony has worked hard to keep work like this out of the public eye.
They actually destroyed the hard disk of Professor Viano from Washington University when he tried to publish some of this work.
[citation needed]
For what it’s worth, there doesn’t seem to be anyone named Viano associated with Washington University in St. Louis (aside from a physics professor who got her PhD there), nor, for that matter, with George Washington University in Washington DC.
There is an actual Professor Emilio Viano who teaches at American University’s School of Public Affairs and is an adjunct professor of law at the Washington College of Law, and he’s written about violence and victimology so perhaps he is the man Pizzey is referring to. There is, however, no evidence I can find online that anyone, much less the “feminist hegemony,” has ever destroyed his hard drive, and he seems to have published extensively and had what looks like a pretty successful academic career without any obvious hindrance from the evil femlords.
I did find a news article in which Viano is quoted about a case in which the FBI secretly got its hands on the hard drive of one of its agents suspected of selling secrets to the Russians, but 1) that wasn’t Viano’s hard drive and 2) I’m pretty sure the Feminist Hegemony had nothing to do with that, as it was never discussed at any of our meetings that I can recall, though admittedly I spent most of our meetings eating the complementary bon-bons and playing with the cats.
I eagerly await Ms. Pizzey’s clarification of her assertions about the mysterious “Professor Viano from Washington University” and his “hard disk.”
The last little lesson I learned from Pizzey’s appearance:
Fried food gives me indigestion.
This from a woman who claims to care about victims of domestic violence, and whose biggest claim to fame is that she was the founder of one of the first DV shelters for women. Evidently when you spend a lot of time in the company of Men’s Rights Activists, jokes about “battered women” are just part of the landscape.
Ms. Pizzey, might I suggest that if you indeed suffer from any sort of digestive problem it might just be because you are full of shit?
PEMRA: Moderate MRAs examine gender from the other side of the coin.
Could you tell me where they do this?
@thebewilderness- You’re another one who needs to work on their reading comprehension
It’s always interesting to me, when the majority of people responding to me are all seeing the same subtext to my arguments, I start to think it might not be they who are mistaken.
I suggest you try this to get a handle on what that might be happening here.
Where have I been informing you what you think?
The bits where you tell us (as feminsists) what is feminists believe/pursue; which is even more amusing when you tell us we need to read for comprehension. Your difficulty is we comprehend you too well.
(BTW, you can call me Eddie, and I can be your bodyguard)
Typical cat! Our’s has been sticking more to disdain lately, probably because her favorite human is away (my brother’s visiting his ex in Cali…it’s complicated)
Aaliyah — that thread, I’m not registering just to jump into that, but that “one drop of alcohol is rape” thing is bullshit. States have standards but all the ones I’m familiar with sum to “too impaired to have the mens res to consent”. And that CDC data is large enough to be representative of the US as a whole and has the definitions on page, um, 17? That’s off the top of my head, but it’s around there (NWO and Antz both liked turning that data into bullshit, I’ve spent too many hours reviewing it!) — use lifetime data, but you know that.
Thank you, Argenti. It means a lot to hear than from another trans* person.
Oh my, that’s quite an idea! I’m open to it I suppose. Aside from coding practice and school I’m not too busy these days. Of course, I won’t pressure anyone to do anything, though.
Actually, Argenti, I’m not sure if it’s a good idea. Your idea sounds wonderful on paper, but I’m very shy and self-conscious these days. I don’t think I’d be very happy because I would be sweating out of anxiety the entire time. The only thing about my body that makes me look femme is my face.
I wish I could do something like that. I really do. But the more I think about it, the more anxious I get.
Aaliyah — please don’t feel pressured to take any of my advice/ideas, was just throwing it out there as a way to get you at least a little time where you could just be yourself. I totally get turning into a nervous wreck part!
Aaliyah, you definitely shouldn’t do anything that you’re not comfortable with or makes you anxious, but perhaps this plan could be amended. Instead of being taken out for lunch, maybe one of Pecunium’s people could treat you to a lunch at their house/apartment. Then you could still be free to dress like the woman you are, but without the pressure of being in public.
To second Argenti, though, if this is a terrible idea, there’s no need to listen to me.
I know that neuroscience is all about figuring out how the brain works, and I think it has good things to say sometimes, which is why it should be combined with trepanning.
Hey now, drilling a hole in the skull is a totally viable way of relieving intercranial pressure! (Yes, I’m serious, leaches and maggots have legit modern uses too)
In other words, trepanation, leaching, and maggots are all more useful than MRAs.
Aaliya– Sorry you got dragged into an argument with some guy who wants to rape people. That’s never pleasant.
Ugh, I kept reading. Why do I do that?
I DID THE SAME THING WHYYYYY
Oh, don’t worry Argenti – I didn’t feel pressured at all. The anxiety you may have sensed from response was only a result of thinking about how daunting your idea could be (as nice as it is).
That would be less stressful, sure. And the idea itself sounds great.
But at the same time, I can’t shake off this feeling that I’m being a burden on someone for spending time to even do something like that. As if someone is just doing a favor for me (especially since I most likely won’t know that person well at all). Maybe I just have a very pessimistic view of the world, but it’s not like I hate everyone or think everyone is out there to hurt or use me somehow.
I guess a better explanation is that I always feel like I’m restrained by guilt – not the good kind, either. I feel like I’m at fault for everything sometimes even though I understand it’s not true. So even the idea you suggest wouldn’t work well for me as much as I wish I could do something like that.
That’s self-loathing for you. It’s one of the ugliest things I’ve ever had to deal with. I wish I could just turn it off.
Also, this is a bit unrelated: I’m starting to feel very lonely for a specific reason.
My older brother, who currently shares a room with me in my father’s house, has for the longest time been who I regard as a “friend” in the sense that he has many qualities that a good friend has and he is usually supportive and so on. I’ll always love him, and I know he’ll always have my back.
But for the past several days, he’s been extremely dismissive and rude I have no idea why. I know he teases me a lot, and I’m used to him teasing me, but very often these days he’s doing things that bother me greatly. I’m very sensitive when I try to explain something to him and then, just to get a reaction from me and show me that I’m a bad communicator, he pretends that he’s not listening to me by acting like he’s snoring or something like that. Maybe that’s an odd thing to complain about but it really bothers me and even hurts my feelings in a way because I feel like he thinks I have nothing of value to say. His excuse is that I talk too much and I’m too confusing in my speech, but I’ve been trying very hard to talk less and be clearer in my speech and he still tells me that I’m too talkative and too confusing. It’s like I’m never good enough.
And today, when he was in an absolutely horrible mood, he was teaching me some driving lessons, and each and every one of his commands sounded so contemptuous and unfriendly, as if I was the worst driver in the world. Once I was done, I parked the car and told him “I wish you were a bit nicer”, to which he responded with “Ooooh look at [her] now [she’s] going to storm off and act like a kid AGAIN!”I did as he expected, but he pretended that I had no reason to feel hurt by his words.
He used to be one of those people who would give me hugs while I was stressed out and crying. Now all he’s doing is coldly giving me advice and making jokes with almost no regard to how I’m feeling. And so I currently feel very lonely.
Do you folks have any advice for asking him to at least try to not be an asshole? He’s not abusive or anything, and I definitely know he can change, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I feel like sometimes he doesn’t care at all about what I say when I confront him about these things.
If really shows her bi-arse that she assumes that in a defacto relationship (or a marriage too I guess) that the man is always going to have more money than the woman. And while believing that, the problem she sees is that women are leeches, rather than women earning less money.
@Aaliyah
If he’s normally fine, and it’s only been a few days, he might just have something sucky in his own life that he’s coping with that’s stressing him and making him act like a jerk. You might just be talking too much *at the moment* because he is feeling emotionally frayed himself. You shouldn’t see it as a judgement on you.
My advice would be to avoid him for a little while and let him calm down, but that’s not really feasible when you’re sharing a room. Perhaps try to be friendly when you see him (so as not to let the whole thing spiral) but avoid as much as possible any interaction where he is in a position to judge you for a bit. (Driving lessons are fraught at the best of times.)
There is also the “delve into his emotional state and see what’s going on with him” option, but I have no idea how to go about that.
“and an even smaller percentage (14.3%) are CEOs”
That’s incorrect, it’s only 18 which would be 3 1/2 %. It was 15 at times but then dropped to 12 which was 2 1/2 %. Now 18. So it’s always within that 2-4% range.
However, the shareholders elect the Chairman at the annual meeting and many shareholders are women so in many cases women just are not voting other women in.
I’m glad you cleared that up, Peter Van. An unspecified (many) percentage of shareholders are women – it is therefore women’s fault there are very few women CEOs. And that’s the reason for the imbalance.
And of course Peter Van doesn’t bother to note how many of the candidates for CEO put forward at those annual meetings are women, because how could that possibly matter?
LOL @ Pecunium’s very subtle Paul Simon reference to PEMRA. Nice.
KathleenB:
Wow, I feel for you. I wanted a hysterectomy when I had my endometrial troubles. I didn’t get it because “you might change your mind” even though I was already in my 30s. I tried the hormones and thought I was going to die. All I can say is keep pushing for what you want and don’t let some doc tell you a damn thing about yourself. Don’t take any shit.
Sorry, this stirs a turd for me, I can rant about this particular subject forever.
Hugs if you want them.
@KathleenB I’ve had a hysterectomy. Email David and I’ll tell him to let you have my email address so that we can have a private chat, if you’d like.
Ugh — driving lessons with my mother were rife with rage.
Aaliyah, if I weren’t far away, I’d love to take out such a smart, thoughtful, ambitious young woman out wherever and however she wants to hang out and have fun being herself. Also, I can’t stop thinking about your nice uncle who is afraid of your becoming a pothead. Potheads, in my vast experience being/knowing them, are generally very accepting. Generally as in 95+% of those I’ve known, but I move in hippie circles.
Kittehs happy!!
Ok I’ll ask this again elseqhere as this thread is dying because I’m overworked and always late to the game, but could anyone recommend good, feminist communities to discuss things related to sexual trauma/shitty parts of being a woman in a supportive but positive space?
PEMRA is a permacoward, I see. And the SRS hate group thing he keeps pressing, he’s just dumb and sockish.
@Kim
You’re probably right. Like many people, he tends to be unpleasant when he’s stressed out. I’ll certainly distance myself from him a bit. Thanks.
And of course Peter Van doesn’t bother to note how many of the candidates for CEO put forward at those annual meetings are women, because how could that possibly matter?
I voted for a man in the last US presidential election. Clearly I don’t want a female president!
@Shiraz
I suspect the may be phrasing her actual questions differently than she phrases them when she tells the story (does she say “women who are devoted to…a world without men”, or does she say “feminists” or “those crazy man-hating women” or something). If those are the exact words she uses, it’s possible the people she asks don’t give serious answers because the question is a bizzarre hypothetical, equivalent to asking someone if they plan to take up arms against a Martian invasion.
Hey, this is so very late, but I fell asleep very sudden yesterday and it felt impolite not to say thank you for all the congratz! I’ve got so much stress coming my way, moving and everything.
I’m going to be the only woman on the team. I’m used to that, what is new to me is that these guys actually don’t seem to even notice. Everyone does their job, and that’s it. At least from what I saw. I might be wrong, but at some point a person grows antennas that detect that sort of thing.
hellkell: Ugh, that sounds awful! Are you still having problems? I hate it when people assume that I don’t know what I want – the number of people who have told me that I’ll want kids eventually is just gobsmacking! Even worse are the ones who respond to ‘if we’re ever at a point where we’re financially and psychologically ready, we’ll adopt’ with variations on ‘it’s just not the same.’ I have an adopted brother, and I love him the same as my biological sister. It irks me to no end that people think that my reproductive choices are any of their fucking business.
@kathleen b
Internet hugs if wanted, plus good luck.
@aaliyah
Good luck with your brother, though hopefully it’s just temporary. I had some possibly relevant. Rambling typed up about family members I had who were kinda like that, but WordPress ate my comment so ill only type it up if you actually want (so feel free to say)
Re doctors who don’t want to tie people’s tubes
Those guys Sound so annoying and presumptuous, like they think they know you (general) better than you do. Makes me peeved, I dread when or if I have to deal with them
Ps my mom let me borrow her iPad again:D
@Bee & Pecunium
I have never heard of Henry David Thoreau before (literature is not one of my strong points), but he sounds very interesting. I definitely missed the hint in the original article the first time I was scanning through it, but I can see it clearly now that I read it more carefully.
Still, Bill Maher is probably what comes up to most people’s minds when they hear about “men living lives of quiet desperation” since it was his anti-feminist outburst that popularized the phrase. And no, I don’t agree with all of it (children are not people?!)
No, I am not *definitely* not smart. I got guilted into marrying a High-Conflict individual, it tells you all you need to know.
@KathleenB
I work in a lab and I have spoken with medical professionals about your condition and this is what I can tell you…
Yes, the hysterectomy will do what you describe. As long as you are not one of those people unlucky enough to be afflicted with a rare genetic syndrome that causes neoplasias in other parts of the body -and you are not, from what I gather- you’ll be safe from cancer after it.
That being said, there are other potential side-effects of a hysterectomy that you will need to take into account before going forward with the operation, such as hair loss, bone-density loss (osteoporosis), mood swings, fatigue, weight gain, etc. It all depends on what type of hysterectomy you are going to go through (from what you are saying, I assume it’s going to be a total one, but I may very well be wrong).
As a rule of thumb, both medical professionals I’ve spoken to told me that, unless the biopsies show an abnormal case of cell division and atypy (i.e. cells that don’t belong in the endometrium), it’s generally a very bad idea to do a complete hysterectomy when you are at an age in which hormones play an essential part in your life (i.e. any time before 50). In the end, you might cause, rather than solve, more problems to yourself and your lifestyle.
In any case, speak more with a qualified medical professional in order to properly weigh the Pros and Cons before arriving at such a drastic decision.
As a side-note if you want to help Endometrial Cancer Research, you should ask your doctor if it’s possible to have part of your endometrium preserved in RNALater and see if you can contact a research center that conducts gene expession tests in such cancers. One I’ve found is the Department of Gynaecologic Oncology in the University of Quebec which currectly researches the relationship between the CA125 gene and occurence of endometrial cancer.
http://www.jogc.com/abstracts/full/201009_Gynaecology_1.pdf
You may also contact University of Bergen that researches genetic markers and conducts gene expression tests associated with endometrial cancer. Tell the lab administrator exactly what is going on with you and ask them if they are interested in getting a sample which will help them in their research.
http://clinicaltrials.gov/show/NCT00598845
…OK this is really the cold-hearted scientist in me talking right now, and I know that it’s the least of your worries amidst all the pain and stress that you are going through, but it will help you further understand what is the cause of your problems, it will help you come to some peace of mind as far as your condition goes, and it will help the scientific community come up with reliable screening tests for the future.
@Aaliyah
Have you tried searching and contacting software developers and coders with experiences similar to your own?
One person I can think of who will give you good advice is Skysenshi (http://www.Skysenshi.com). She is currently a Game Developer in Phillipines and a vocal “Sex Positive Feminist”. If you chime in at the comments of her webpage and tell her about you I am sure she will help you greatly. At the very least, she will be able to give you some much needed emotional support and useful information as she has dealt with plenty of crap similar to yours.
Right now, the closest I can offer to support is this…
…You are MADE to be programmer. Because you are trans your brain is wired differently than both men and women, which means you are uniquely equiped to approach problems in a different way than most people and come up with solutions which nobody else could think of.
Don’t even give up on chasing your dream, no matter how hopeless or depressing things get, and if ANY motherf***er insults you for who you are or tells you that you don’t belong in the business just tell him to take his laptop or iPad and burn it, because it’s because of somebody like you, namely the strange genius of Alan Turing, that we now have computers and programming.
(And while we are at it, Alan Turing is also the reason most of us don’t speak German right now, since he was the guy that cracked the Enigma codes that the Nazis used during WWII)
I know it’s not much and you probably don’t want it from someone like me, but here you go. Make of it what you will.
Other than that, if you really want to see if you can do it on your own, a job in telephone customer service is a good idea, if you can find it, since it will give you some time to develop your coding skills while you are waiting for a proper coding job.
Love your avatar btw. Is this Kagome from Inuyasha by Rumiko Takahashi? Feel free to correct me If I am wrong, as the Thoreau incident above proves that marriage may have severely affected my ability to get my references straight.