Today, another lesson in how to get yourself hundreds of upvotes on Reddit.
It’s really quite simple.
1) Go to the Ask Reddit subreddit. Find the post asking Redditors if they’ve ever “tried a crazy urban-dictionary sex move? (e.g. Alaskan Pipeline, Komodo Dragon, Donkey Punch, etc.) How did it turn out?”
2) Post a story about a hilarious little prank you (allegedly) pulled on a sex partner that instantly transformed consensual sex into violent rape.
3) Oh, and throw in a gratuitous racial slur while you’re at it.
4) Then whine about how your partner’s negative response to your (alleged) little rape prank gave you “blue balls” and complain that you might have to pay her damages for “emotional distress” in civil court (allegedly).
You might think that this might be a bit much even for the morally undeveloped manchildren (and occasional womanchildren) who populate Reddit. But guess what? The poster of the tale in question got literally hundreds more upvotes than downvotes for his whiny “confession.”
Here’s the screenshot to prove it. (I’ve partically obscured the racial slur; click on image to see full-sized version.)
There were, of course, those who reacted like normal human beings to Mr. Dick Pic’s story. (I’ve obscured the homophobic slur that made up the entirely of his reply.)
Mr. Dick Pic was so offended that anyone was offended by his shitty (alleged) behavior that he rage-quit the thread, deleting his comment and — living up to his name — leaving only a dick pic in its place.
Now, Mr. Dick Pic may just be trolling, and I really hope that’s all there is to his terrible story, but his ridiculously pissy behavior after he got called out makes me think that his story, or at least parts of it, may actually be true.
Just another day on Reddit, the internet’s largest and most influential asshat aggregator.
Thanks to an anonymous Reddit informant for the heads-up, and the screenshots.
I don’t have any snappy remarks for PEMA, so I’ll settle for pointing and laughing at him.
@PEMRA! You used this tragic article as a platform for your wankery? Really?!?!
You are truly the wankest wanker I have ever had the misfortune to come across, why don’t you just fuck the fuck off and when you get there fuck off some more!
P.S. Wanker!
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope that you at least are on good terms with the person (or people) whose place you’re staying in. If I ever did couch-surfing, I would only feel comfortable staying at the place of an acquaintance I trust or some close friend. Do you think it would be advisable to keep a list of trusted contacts in mind in case I’m forced to do something like couch-surfing?
cloudiah, I am so sorry about your friend. Cancer does suck.
Sorry for that last one Manboobzers, just really triggery article. Yeah, I know, all MRAs think that makes me weak, but whatever they don’t wanna be is fine by me, gonna go have a big, big drink 🙁
@Aaliyah, sorry, should have said, hope you’re okay today, might talk later, hugs x
Ophelia: I thought it was funny!
Also: wankers
Aaliyah: I’m super behind, but congrats on getting into college! Also, jedi hugs for you.
You mean the wankeriest wankery comment of wankerdom? Nah, it’s cool.
PEMRA:
Why, yes, yes it is. Portrayals of a particular class of people in fiction in fiction is only problematic if those people are often treated as expendable in the real world. In the real world, straight white dudebros are not, in fact, expendable. Thus, targeting them for violence in a video game does not cause the same sorts of concerns that targeting someone of color, or who present as women does. I feel concern about portrayals of straight white dudebros as expendable pretty much the same way I feel about the expendable orcs, goblins and trolls in the average fantasy RPG setting–oppressed cis white dudebros are about as real as those groups.
@freemage
So again, you see nothing at all wrong with the phrase: “when it comes to people I am going to be using guns on, just make them straight white cis dudebros”? Or the phrase “There’s nothing uncomfortable about blowing up straight white cis dudebros”?
You might want to rethink your judgment here, because that’s hate rhetoric. Which, of course, would be because SRS is a hate group.
I’m a little surprised that you’re so blunt about it, but I suppose I shouldn’t be. I mean white men aren’t just worthless monsters, so I guess, it’s okay to enjoy killing us with impunity. It’s not like we’re human, like other kinds of people.
PEMRA, don’t be a disingenuous jackass. You know exactly what hir views are. Don’t pretend that ze said something ze didn’t actually say.
But I guess I shouldn’t expect much from the guy who thinks that pointing out straight white cis privilege is bigoted.
Pemra, the other white cis men voted and they don’t want you to speak for them anymore.
You unexpressed anal gland.
Says the guy with “MRA” in his username…
It isn’t that Redditors approve of that behavior literally, it’s that that is an accepted style of humor over there.
They don’t “approve”, they just laugh and tell that sort of joke and no one thinks there’s anything wrong with it.
Tell me something, what do you think approve means?
Then again, your syntactic quirks are making think you might be a pretty vile person, in your own right.
I say we ban PEMRA for being excessively tedious. I know David usually doesn’t ban people for that, but for PEmra, I think he should make an exception.
Looking at his rhetorical style (the use of commas in particular), he seems to be a Steele sock. Steele has already been banned, so it’s just a matter of enforcement.
I love this.
CassandraSays, I just agreed with Briznecko in another thread about the same thing. One telling quirk I’ve seen is the “and” thing, when he should just use a single verb or adjective but he can’t seem to make up his mind.
His writing style is quite distinctive, isn’t it?
*Gigglefitz* Okay, PEMRA here is starting to grow on me. The poor, poor pixels. Won’t anyone think of the pixels?
Because, PEMRA, you twit, that’s what we’re talking about here. Pixels on a screen. No one’s talking about rounding up actual, living, breathing cis white men and shooting them in the face, or blowing them up. Instead, they’re suggesting that since that’s not an actual problem civilian cis white men face on a regular basis (unlike almost every other racial grouping on the planet, and women throughout the world), making fictional white cis men the victims of fictional violence isn’t going to stray into problematic territory.
I’m willing to admit that I can understand why Pemra might not have the warmest and fuzziest feelings about that SRS comment he keeps harping on (the one that claims there’s nothing problematic about killing “straight white cis dudebros” in video games). Of course, how he gets from there to STRAIGHT WHITE MEN ARE THE MOST OPPRESSEDEST EVER, I have no freaking clue; it’s not so much a logical leap as it is a swan-dive off the cliff of reality.
As is his whining.
It does seem pretty likely that PEMRA is someone’s sock, if only because I can’t imagine a person coming to a website exclusively to complain about a separate, completely different website.
Then again, I also have a hard time imagining someone insisting that SRS is a hate group for quoting other subreddits but SRS Sucks is a heroic watchdog organization for quoting SRS, so maybe my imagination just isn’t up to the task of containing that much nonsense.