Today, another lesson in how to get yourself hundreds of upvotes on Reddit.
It’s really quite simple.
1) Go to the Ask Reddit subreddit. Find the post asking Redditors if they’ve ever “tried a crazy urban-dictionary sex move? (e.g. Alaskan Pipeline, Komodo Dragon, Donkey Punch, etc.) How did it turn out?”
2) Post a story about a hilarious little prank you (allegedly) pulled on a sex partner that instantly transformed consensual sex into violent rape.
3) Oh, and throw in a gratuitous racial slur while you’re at it.
4) Then whine about how your partner’s negative response to your (alleged) little rape prank gave you “blue balls” and complain that you might have to pay her damages for “emotional distress” in civil court (allegedly).
You might think that this might be a bit much even for the morally undeveloped manchildren (and occasional womanchildren) who populate Reddit. But guess what? The poster of the tale in question got literally hundreds more upvotes than downvotes for his whiny “confession.”
Here’s the screenshot to prove it. (I’ve partically obscured the racial slur; click on image to see full-sized version.)
There were, of course, those who reacted like normal human beings to Mr. Dick Pic’s story. (I’ve obscured the homophobic slur that made up the entirely of his reply.)
Mr. Dick Pic was so offended that anyone was offended by his shitty (alleged) behavior that he rage-quit the thread, deleting his comment and — living up to his name — leaving only a dick pic in its place.
Now, Mr. Dick Pic may just be trolling, and I really hope that’s all there is to his terrible story, but his ridiculously pissy behavior after he got called out makes me think that his story, or at least parts of it, may actually be true.
Just another day on Reddit, the internet’s largest and most influential asshat aggregator.
Thanks to an anonymous Reddit informant for the heads-up, and the screenshots.
Oh, and I get to look forward to the days when my tots bring me shoes that they’ve pulled the knot the wrong way and got it really tight and can’t undo it.
That diagram leaves me wondering why anyone would bother, since the knots are all drawn looking the same. 😛
I can tie a tie very easily, because we had to wear them at my high school.
Trend here, cis women are better at tying ties than cis men? Or just that my relatives are stupid and kitteh and Cassandra have more practice than Falconer?
Falconer — safety pin, slide it between the layers of the shoelace and pull gently — the key to untying a failed knot is patience, not force *the master of unknoting expensive necklaces*
The half Windsor sits more evenly than a four in hand, looks more formal. Other than that idk. I shall try them and report back!
My ex-husband is 40 and have literally never worn a real tie. We started dating when he was 34 and I found a clip-on in his closet. It is the only tie he ever wore.
I would guess I’m a superior tie tyer to men who don’t wear them.
I don’t know how good my tie-knotting woud be now. It’s *counts on fingers* prolly 37 years since I had to do one.
Trivia, possibly not correct: I read that the Windsor knot was an attempt to imitate the bulky knots on the Prince of Wales’s ties (Edward VIII). His ties were lined, and most men’s ties weren’t, hence the fuller look.
Mr C also knows how to tie a tie. He has the sort of mother who’d disown him for not mastering what she considers such basic skills.
I can confidently say Mr K has no idea how to tie a tie. 🙂
Yeah I think it’s a combo of not wearing them, and, at least in my family, the socialized expectation that women make sure their men look presentable.
And I can’t tell the difference between a full and half Windsor, but I never tried the full one before so the problem might be me. The shell ends up looking very similar, but feeling flatter, if that makes sense.
In far more ridiculous things, I fell in love with this little number earlier. Compared to that, MAOR WINDSORS PLEASE.
Kitteh — that might be it, as they look very very similar, but the full Windsor just feels like too many steps and too much shit around my neck.
And the Eldredge is an eldritch abomination (bad pun is bad)
The Eldredge knot is hideous.
The Eldredge looks more like a bandage than a tie.
On a purely academic level, I’m now interested whether men’s neckwear conversations could scare away trolls.
What an excellent idea. Think of all the varieties of men’s neckwear over the centuries. Just the mention of men wearing lace would probably send the trolls into conniptions. Lace is soooo threatening to masculinity, don’tcha know.
Hmm. I think the potential for ties are misandric oppression because women aren’t expected to wear them might be too high.
Ok I have a thing for excessively complex knots, in general. In practice, yes, this only works as an exercise in patience and tension. I will give it this, it does take just the right amount of tension to get it right (which might be where I’m screwing the full Windsor)
It’s one of those that looks intriguing, until you actually try it (or see a full body shot I guess, the close up is just oh so shiny)
It’d almost be worth the “ties are misandric” line. That would have been a treat from some of the Greate Olde Trolles of Yore.
I’m mildly surprised Mr Hard Chairs himself hasn’t mentioned it at some point.
Well, I wonder if the need to wear a tie is a primary locus, or if it’s misandry because it aggravates the pain of razor burn from having to shave your face EVERY DAY which is totally unfair and evidence of the misandry which is pervasive in Western society.
Women with hairy legs, though, still totally disgusting, and the root cause of the downfall of civilization.
(incidentally, my spell checkie thingie doesn’t know the word misandry, and asks me instead if I mean “Melisandra”? What do you think? Just one more instance of feminism’s evil effects on culture at large?)
Cassandra — when I was working for Pitt they updated e dress code to make ties mandatory. Full stop. The entire computer department came in wearing ties, they quickly dropped the mandatory bit. Guess women in ties wasn’t what they meant, but they realized explicitly saying that men must wear ties wasn’t going to fly?
So I mean, yeah, men are expected to wear ties, but anywhere that straight up says tie required, but unofficially means for men, might want to rethink that. Of course, men’s formal wear = clear cut standard, men’s semi-formal = clear standard, men’s office wear = clear standard, men’s semi-casual = clear standard; women’s fucking anything = wtf is a long skirt too long? Knee too short? What sort of blouse is acceptable? My hair matters?!
Tie, button down and dress pants; or a free for all goth/androgynous/whatever thing; please.
On the full body shot, you can see that the knot goes down to his knees.
My favorite response to the “but only men have to wear them therefore misandry!” (and yes, I’ve seen people say that) argument is that my all girls high school made us wear ties with our fall and winter uniforms.
I had to wear one (Ursulines, and so ugly brown) but we had clip on ones.
This is one of those things where the dudes making the argument are relying on women not having any relevant experience to counteract their claims, and so it falls flat when they encounter a woman who does have that experience. OMG ties are the most uncomfortable thing in the world, far more oppressive than anything women are expected to do! Except, nope, because I wore one for 6 years and it was no big deal.
The discomfort with my school uniform wasn’t the tie, it was being expected to wear a skirt in fucking freezing classrooms in winter. It was a bloody relief when girls were allowed to wear trousers.
Yeah, I would have loved to be able to wear pants on those Scottish mornings where you walked to school through the snowy slush and it wasn’t going to be light out for another couple of hours. There’s only so much that wool tights can do in terms of providing warmth.