Today, another lesson in how to get yourself hundreds of upvotes on Reddit.
It’s really quite simple.
1) Go to the Ask Reddit subreddit. Find the post asking Redditors if they’ve ever “tried a crazy urban-dictionary sex move? (e.g. Alaskan Pipeline, Komodo Dragon, Donkey Punch, etc.) How did it turn out?”
2) Post a story about a hilarious little prank you (allegedly) pulled on a sex partner that instantly transformed consensual sex into violent rape.
3) Oh, and throw in a gratuitous racial slur while you’re at it.
4) Then whine about how your partner’s negative response to your (alleged) little rape prank gave you “blue balls” and complain that you might have to pay her damages for “emotional distress” in civil court (allegedly).
You might think that this might be a bit much even for the morally undeveloped manchildren (and occasional womanchildren) who populate Reddit. But guess what? The poster of the tale in question got literally hundreds more upvotes than downvotes for his whiny “confession.”
Here’s the screenshot to prove it. (I’ve partically obscured the racial slur; click on image to see full-sized version.)
There were, of course, those who reacted like normal human beings to Mr. Dick Pic’s story. (I’ve obscured the homophobic slur that made up the entirely of his reply.)
Mr. Dick Pic was so offended that anyone was offended by his shitty (alleged) behavior that he rage-quit the thread, deleting his comment and — living up to his name — leaving only a dick pic in its place.
Now, Mr. Dick Pic may just be trolling, and I really hope that’s all there is to his terrible story, but his ridiculously pissy behavior after he got called out makes me think that his story, or at least parts of it, may actually be true.
Just another day on Reddit, the internet’s largest and most influential asshat aggregator.
Thanks to an anonymous Reddit informant for the heads-up, and the screenshots.
Meep, that was overly critical of katz. Did I come off as saying that “If you have been, no one will…” was bad grammar? Because it’s just as acceptable as “…had…would…”
Point was that I’m amazed that Brz, the supposedly French speaker with novice English skills, would know how to work the subjunctive. English subjunctive is one of the most fucking pointless parts of English (and one of the times I really wish English were solely Latin based)
I’m sorry katz, I was trying to express amazement that Brz could understand the subjunctive, but not simple verb tenses (his favorite intentional slip). But I came off sounding like I was knocking you, and yeah, probably did provide troll fuel with my pedantry, and I’m sorry.
No amount of grammar makes one not sound like an ass >.<
Yeah, I realized that was wrong (because it’s not a counterfactual) after I wrote it.
The point was supposed to be that I was using “you” in the sense of “anyone” and not in the sense of “Brz in particular.”
Jesus… -_-
Don’t worry, I’ll fuel myself silently without launching a trolling storm…
And sorry I was prickly. Here, have a porcupette as an apology.
For Argenti, obviously.
Oh the cuteness!
You’ll have to pry the Anglo Saxon from my cold, dead hands!
Some people don’t understand that they should leave the Google Translate Fairy alone on Friday nights.
katz — you’re no more wrong than I was, so I offer a baby anteater in exchange for that porcupette. (Sorry about the massive delay here, I fell down a hole known as “reading LBT’s DeviantArt”!)
Falconer — lol, I’ve got nothing. The idea of prying a language is hilarious though.
Too bad they’ll scatter if I try turning the tank light on, there’s a pile of cories against this side of the tank. 55 gallons and they all try to occupy the same ~half gallon!
Oh, looks like the last batch of cory eggs had no viable eggs // fungus ate them. Kind of sad, but I could bred the cory parents if I really wanted more, cories are easy enough to bred, and I have enough babies from their non-induced mating! (Ie, the pile trying to all sit where the glass meets the sand)
/fish
It’s impossible to write a post in French without any mistake like I did by using Google Translate.
Proof : if it was possible, you’d be able to write a French sentence without making a mistake every two words.
LBT’s deviantart is pretty boss. They’re so cool and multitalented.
Huh? Male albinos are often sterile? *looks at pile of cories* Someone go tell your father that he’s sterile! (I have three adults, two albinos and the one who’s been caught laying the eggs, so yeah, their father is albino)
And this is why I think “bottom feeder” is a shitty insult. Look at that adorable little face!
Arrghh, I had a list of about 3 billion things to get done while staying up all night (ok, more like a dozen that were bound to balloon from there) and what have I gotten done?
“Oooh damn LBT, you’ve got skillz” — my thoughts on LBT’s DA.
This is me complaining about nothing, can you tell? More coffee, then more census data (small wonder why I’m avoiding that eh?)
Things found via LBT’s DA that I feel like sharing with y’all — http://www.yaygender.net/pages/gender.pl
“I am a…”
Unfortunately for me “aquarist” failed to make the list and is about the only thing I’m actually sure of! (I am excessively excited to have ties hanging next to my skirts…)
Have fun with that, try not to give yourself too much of a headache? Or maybe its just that “closeted” is the only other easy one *rolls eyes*
Also, metrosexual, oh gods. I graduated right when that was a thing and I was all “great, you’re a boy who knows what body wash is, I’m happy for you?”
I don’t know what most of those terms mean! What the heck does royal mean in those contexts, or queen when it comes to societal roles? Not what I mean by it, I’m betting. 😀
Idk half of them either, it’s supposed to be inclusive. But it just comes out as a “my name is…I am a…” so sure you’re a queen! 🙂
Sorry, I think you might be replying to the wrong person, since I don’t recall writing anything on that subject here. (For what it’s worth, I agree with your statement.)
@pecunium
I wouldn’t know alternate or efficient routes. I just started to recognize it as the way to Santa Cruz. My parents really liked it there, and I think really liked that particular drive. I’d be asleep on the ride home, damp, sandy, and sunburned. We could’ve stopped at the moon on the way home, I wouldn’t even have noticed.
@Falconer
The “more than a stadium” was replying to your comment about guys being angry about Portal’s Chell.
It is difficult to imagine actual people in numbers greater than a stadium. Too many people on a flat surface, like gatherings at the Washington Monument or street fairs, and I cannot pick out individuals very well. Using an auditorium or a stadium were ways for me to pin it down to actual people, rather than a faceless mass. Sorry!
@Briznecko
Freedom kissing. Awesome.
@theseventhguest – “Freedom kissing. Awesome.”
I’d call it Free French kissing but that would summon up images of Charles de Gaulle. Not my type! 😛
@Argenti – it was one hell of a long list, wasn’t it? The warning about “don’t call yourself by a term if you don’t know what it means” left me with about two, because of context. I was glad to see monoamorous in there, for a rarity.
It’s impossible to write a post in French without any mistake like I did by using Google Translate.
But it is possible to use GT to backstop a moderate facility,.
theseventhguest: It is difficult to imagine actual people in numbers greater than a stadium.
One of the things I do, from being massively interested in history, and a soldier, is realising that most of the pivotal battle in history had no more people than are seated in a stadium to see a baseball game.
Kitteh — I took that warning more as one for things that don’t have common usage meanings. A “don’t just check it because it sounds cool”, but the internal policing drives me up a wall (a wall covered in heeled boots and ties the way today went!)
Pecunium please tell me you can tie a tie, because if you can’t it appears I’m the only one I know who can (well, my mother can, but only on other people, makes sense since my father can’t)
Knots, how the fuck do they work?!
I can tie a tie! Had to wear ’em with my school uniform for a while.
I can tie a necktie on like the third or fourth attempt, but only like a four-in-hand.
Half of these knots look way too complicated, with extraneous moves.