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boner rage creepy douchebaggery drama kings emotional abuse entitled babies excusing abuse hundreds of upvotes men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny narcissism playing the victim rape rape culture rape jokes reddit sexual assault

300 upvotes apparently not enough for a racist, and possibly also a rapist, Redditor

Reddit: Where dudes get agnry when their "hilarious" rape confessions only get 300 upvotes
Reddit: Where dudes get angry when their allegedly hilarious rape “confessions” only get 300 upvotes

Today, another lesson in how to get yourself hundreds of upvotes on Reddit.

It’s really quite simple.

1) Go to the Ask Reddit subreddit. Find the post asking Redditors if they’ve ever “tried a crazy urban-dictionary sex move? (e.g. Alaskan Pipeline, Komodo Dragon, Donkey Punch, etc.) How did it turn out?”

2) Post a story about a hilarious little prank you (allegedly) pulled on a sex partner that instantly transformed consensual sex into violent rape.

3) Oh, and throw in a gratuitous racial slur while you’re at it.

4) Then whine about how your partner’s negative response to your (alleged) little rape prank gave you “blue balls” and complain that you might have to pay her damages for “emotional distress” in civil court (allegedly).

You might think that this might be a bit much even for the morally undeveloped manchildren (and occasional womanchildren) who populate Reddit. But guess what? The poster of the tale in question got literally hundreds more upvotes than downvotes for his whiny “confession.”

Here’s the screenshot to prove it. (I’ve partically obscured the racial slur; click on image to see full-sized version.)

dickpicrapist

There were, of course, those who reacted like normal human beings to Mr. Dick Pic’s story. (I’ve obscured the homophobic slur that made up the entirely of his reply.)

dickpicresponse

Mr. Dick Pic was so offended that anyone was offended by his shitty (alleged) behavior that he rage-quit the thread, deleting his comment and — living up to his name — leaving only a dick pic in its place.

Now, Mr. Dick Pic may just be trolling, and I really hope that’s all there is to his terrible story, but his ridiculously pissy behavior after he got called out makes me think that his story, or at least parts of it, may actually be true.

Just another day on Reddit, the internet’s largest and most influential asshat aggregator.

Thanks to an anonymous Reddit informant for the heads-up, and the screenshots.

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gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
7 years ago

@ kittehs – preach it, sister! I HATED that damn skirt. We had to wear them even in the depths of winter, and adding anything but the approved knee socks was strictly verboten. So waiting for the bus or walking to school (I did both, depending on which campus I was assigned to) was always torture.

We could wear something else until we actually got onto campus, and a lot of my friends wore leg warmers or sweatpants underneath, and took them off right before we got off the bus.

Of course, that didn’t make the buildings any warmer. And three days a week I went in before sunup for swim practice…

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

LOL. In the dead of winter in Scotland the sun doesn’t come up after 9, and it’s gone again by about 3:30.

cloudiah
7 years ago

OMG ties are the most uncomfortable thing in the world, far more oppressive than anything women are expected to do! Except, nope, because I wore one for 6 years and it was no big deal.

Misandrist!!!!! Just have men have less fat on their heinies, men also have more prominent Adam’s applies, which means ties disproportionately hurt men.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

I mean, women are expected to shave their crotches nowadays, but it’s not like the skin there is sensitive, right? I, as a man, have to shave my face! Misandry!

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Gah, you two had it worse than I did. Our winters were colder then, but nothing to compare with northern hemisphere stuff.

Speaking of neckwear, look at all this unadulterated misandry!

pecunium
7 years ago

Argenti: Argenti: What kind of tie? What sort of knot? I can do bow ties, regency cravats (in several sorts of cascade, as well as a Byron), bow tie, string tie, and, “necktie” in four in hand, half and full windsor.

The Eldridge is just a full windsor, doubled; finished on the side, and seen from the back.

marinerachel
marinerachel
7 years ago

My solution has been not shaving my crotch.

Then I learn that too is misandry, just like the expectation men shave their faces.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Ruffs! If I ever write a dress code, I shall require ruffs.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
7 years ago

I imagine ruffs would at least provide some warmth…

Holy hush puppies, I can’t believe I missed Mr. Mintyfresh and his wall-o-text the other day! I barely escaped with my life after attempting the first couple (dozen) paragraphs!

Kittehserf
7 years ago

My dress code would mean men wear this.

Or even better, they could wear armour and lace. (Notice there is a compromise, because milord obviously hadn’t shaved for a while when this was painted!)

Kittehserf
7 years ago

gillyrosebee, your self-preservation instincts were obviously working well, protecting you from the Wall of Duh.

KittySnide
7 years ago

de-lurking yet again for hilarious tie story!
one of my brother’s friends is from a family of funeral directors: on the day of his highschool grad he went to his older brother to ask him for help tying his tie. his brother held the tie for a couple of seconds, then said “…I’m going to need you to lie down.”

I, on the other hand, cannot tie a tie on myself or anyone else. but during my Avril-Lavigne-is-so-hardcore-and-so-am-I phase in grade nine I did try to learn, though I ended up just nicking one of my Dad’s and leaving it tied all the time.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

LOL love that, KittySnide! It’s like a line from Lewis but better ‘cos it’s real.

(The line was Hobson, the pathologist, telling Lewis she could take his tooth out for him, but he’d have to be dead first.)

KittySnide
7 years ago

ahahahaha
love it!
I can barely tell the funeral director kid story because I start laughing and wheezing. never gets old!

Kittehserf
7 years ago

I’m not surprised you laugh and wheeze trying to tell it! I just had such a laugh telling my mum. 😀 😀 😀

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“Argenti: Argenti: What kind of tie? What sort of knot? I can do bow ties, regency cravats (in several sorts of cascade, as well as a Byron), bow tie, string tie, and, “necktie” in four in hand, half and full windsor.”

Of course you can *shakes head* remind me, is there anything you can’t do?

And KittySnide wins an internet.

Also, it’s probably best that my brother doesn’t wear ties, he looks absurd in a formal wear…I’ve yet to see my father wear anything that didn’t look horrendous in one sense or another (the 70s called, can they have their light blue suit back?)

Kittehserf
7 years ago

OMG not the light blue suit … aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Light blue suit, hmm…can you teach him some Saturday Night Fever moves? That would be funny.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

splork splutter choke

that’s too funny for words!

pecunium
7 years ago

Argenti: Of course you can *shakes head* remind me, is there anything you can’t do?

Math, past basic algebra, compose a sestina (or work in terza rima; I can; with lots of effort, but no real facility do a sonnet, but a ballade is beyond me). Making wine I’ve never tried. I also can’t sew (apart from repairs).

Crochet is quite beyond me (unless you accept the creation of small cat toys). I don’t know how to ride bulls, or braid whips. Weaving is something I know the theory of, but have never done. I can’t write fiction, nor do I speak any programming languages. Shibari is also not really in my skill set, and I don’t know how to shoot an arrow from horseback, nor how to do celestial navigation.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Lol, so I can handle math, and sew, and you can’t, I suppose that appeases my ego sufficiently. (My offer to teach you basic sewing still stands btw, it really isn’t hard)

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

And wait, you can do celestrial navigation at all? But how do you navigate without a map then?!

I’m not particularly good or anything, but “well if that’s north…” is kinda a vital skill.

pecunium
7 years ago

I can do celestial direction finding, but navigating to a given point in the middle of the open ocean… not so much. dead reckoning; using binnacle and log line I can do, but that’s not the most precise of means for determining longitude.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Emphasis on the “dead”, yes (quote shamelessly stolen from a Klutz geography book that I wholeheartedly recommend to kids, and kids at heart)

Yellaine
Yellaine
7 years ago

I don’t know if that’s conclusive proof he’s not French, after all the influence of living in the USA (and/or internet) might have influenced his ‘humor’.

On which note, I must dad that my dad often joked that we lost WWII twice, and my favorite history teacher used to say that 99% of French people were ‘collabo’ (IDK how to translate that, collaborators, snitches? That a very pejorative word in French now) jut after we surrendered and 99% were resistance fighters when the Allies won. Our history is very messy.
Which actually fit my personal history; my grand-grand father, who worked in a train station, was arrested and put in jail twice, once by the Germans (during the Occupation) and once by the French. (after the Occupation) Nobody in the family knows exactly why, for neither occasions.

I’m not surprised that you like Zemmour and JM Le Pen, Brz. I used to have a friend from Algerian origins (3rd generation, IIRC) who had a lot of internalized racism and was very distressful of ‘the Arabs’ in general.
Just to be clear: you do realize the National Front switched to islamophobia because antisemitism wasn’t popular enough anymore, and that you can’t get elected president just with neo-nazis?
Yes Le Pen-père is the kind of political man who mostly say what he thinks, it just happens that what he thinks is very racist.

As for the anti-marriage pour tous: lets say they had actual GOOD arguments. Who knows maybe I just missed them. I mostly heard over and over and over that children had the right to a father and a mother, which is not a thing in French law, or any law that I know of, or you would have to give a mandatory other-gendered parent to all single parents. But I digress.
Let’s say they had good arguments. That’s not all it was, it was also hatred, and violence, and harassment of politicians and journalists. Yes, they tried to fight back, and they lost. So what? Doing all that doesn’t mean you’ll got what you want. It was an electoral promise of François Hollande, elected representatives created a law, talked, a lot, about it, then voted on it. That’s how democracy works. Nobody got arrested or stopped from demonstrating for saying they were against same-sex marriage.
Also, the government didn’t pretended they didn’t hear them. Example:
http://www.lejdd.fr/Societe/Actualite/Les-anti-mariage-pour-tous-recus-a-l-Elysee-587282
Also, the reason there was never gonna be a referendum? Say thank you to the Right.
http://www.franceinfo.fr/politique/le-vrai-du-faux/christiane-taubira-dit-elle-sur-le-referendum-sur-le-mariage-gay-861089-2013-01-15

People became violent because they weren’t listened enough on the subject of a law that won’t change a thing in their life = heroes. Riiiiiiiiiiiiigth. If all demonstrators reacted this way (it’s called a tantrum) in France, we would be living in a post-apocalyptic hell.
The left didn’t negotiated (though they separated the PMA, which is not unlike negotiating) is that they didn’t need to. They had the votes, a majority of people wanted it to happen, so it happened. Democracy! You know who else is really sure about being right and not thinking much? The people who harassed ‘ideologs’ and attacked cops. (which, OMG, you don’t ever do if you’ve brought kids to the demonstration)

Why should people on this blog be opened to chat with fascist people? We already know that they exist and we don’t owe them to pollute our daily life. Every has a right to say: nope, I’m not interested in talking with people who think X. Whether X is “torturing kittens is fun” “fascism is a valid form of government” “gay people are icky” “Hitler had some good ideas” “gay marriage is bad” “spinach are tasty” “trans humanism is the way to go” “women are lesser people” “me” doesn’t matter.
Whether you’re not just not interested, or that person isn’t bringing anything new, or whatever reason, people don’t have to talk to you. That doesn’t make them closed minded.

On a final note: your defense of “it’s not their fault, they were forced to be violent” sound a hell lot like domestic violence apology. Which, ew.

Yellaine
Yellaine
7 years ago

sorry for the typos. I lack sleep and even the orthographic correction can do so much. ^^’

Kittehserf
7 years ago

“On which note, I must dad that my dad often joked that we lost WWII twice, and my favorite history teacher used to say that 99% of French people were ‘collabo’ (IDK how to translate that, collaborators, snitches? That a very pejorative word in French now) jut after we surrendered and 99% were resistance fighters when the Allies won. Our history is very messy.”

Collaborator would be the word, yes.

Losing the war twice reminds me of what’s said about (and in, IDK) Britain: it won the war but lost the peace.

Steve
Steve
7 years ago

@CassandaSays
“I mean, women are expected to shave their crotches nowadays, but it’s not like the skin there is sensitive, right? I, as a man, have to shave my face! Misandry!”

Wait, is that a thing? I’ve only had one girlfriend who shaved her crotch, and she made me shave mine (she said a hairy crotch was a “deal-breaker” for her).

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