Today, something kind of amazing that’s been making its way around Tumblr: a recording of Saruman — well, someone doing a pretty good impersonation of Christopher Lee as Saruman — doing a dramatic reading of an MRA-ish rant from a Reddit shitlord.
You’ll have to listen closely, because the rant is a bit convoluted and concern-trolly. Also, the commenter comes back with a couple of edits after he gets benned from whatever subreddit this took place in, apparently SRS.
Listen to it here.
Thanks to MollyRen for bringing this to my attention.
EDITED: Definitely not Mr. Lee.
I wonder how Minty would explain all the guys he thinks are betas/omegas/whatever who are happily partnered? Maybe that’s why he skulks around at night, so he won’t see all those immunofails walking around holding hands and smiling and laughing with the partners who love them, and who they love.
Of course Minty’s another of those MRAs who further my feeling that they don’t know what love is, have never felt it and are probably incapable of feeling it. They seem to be a mishmash of not understanding the concept, dimly knowing they lack the capability, and resenting it all enormously because other people have it. (That goes with their general resentment and whininess about life in general, of course.) Even simple liking of other people, of enjoying their company, seems beyond this lot. As for liking, feeling affection for, or loving a woman (or any romantic partner) – I think it enrages them that it’s a part of healthy relationships, and that they are never going to be relationship material, however much time they spend at the gym, because they are disgusting douchebags who set off other people’s creepdars. Being expected to be a decent human being is such an imposition, it’s so oppressive!
The only betas/gammas/omegas are the misogynist dipshits like Minty.
And for shame, talking about gammas. Be careful. Bruce Banner was once exposed to high levels of gamma radiation…and you don’t want to get him angry — you wouldn’t like him if he got angry.
Dang, Fibinachi, how long did that take?
Me too, Kittehs. I’m thinking of a specific example: She’s attractive, slim; he’s less-attractive, pudgy. They’d definitely call him a beta. They met at a party where she was trying to get away from some dude who was harassing her, so she started talking to him. And they’re married with two beautiful children. They each have a mini-me.
There’s also the fact that if his theory was correct it wouldn’t be a valid reason to hate women. Why would you hate someone for doing something they’re “biologically programmed” to do? I mean, I’d rather not be bitten by a shark, but I don’t go around screaming SHARKS, THOSE EVIL BASTARDS, WITH THEIR BITING, I BET THEY DO IT JUST TO UPSET ME EVEN THOUGH I’VE JUST SAID THAT IT’S BUILT INTO THEIR NATURE fuck this I’m moving to a duck pond, just to spite those evil bastard sharks.
Does this mean the Hulk should be coloured minty green?
It’d go better with his purple trousers, too.
eli – I’m seeing your friends doing the pinkie-to-mouth movement in unison, now! 😀
Cassandra, don’t move to a duck pond. Being nibbled to death by ducks is a slow and terrible way to go.
Random – I saw an adorable pair of ducks last weekend. They had taken over the pool in an apartment complex and were swimming around with people awwww-ing at them from the balconies.
@Eli:
TIme? What is… “Time”? I don’t understand.. Minty’s words have crushed my sense of linear progression. I think it took plus negative doubleungood fnords and half a manboobian feminist colombian bee.
I’d go on, but I don’t… feel so good.
—
( 37 minutes, with time to go get a cup of coffee. Almost two episodes of Atop the Fourth Wall.)
@Kittehserf:
Thank you.
@Gamma rays:
I can’t get this idea out of my mind, like, two police officers having a conversation with a haz mat team entry leader.
“So, he’s still holed up in there?”
“Yeah, he is. Gieger counter is off the charts. We’ve cleared the entrace… The bodies are… I… I’m so sorry”
“It’s okay, officer. We’ll take it from here. With that much gamma game, they died within minutes. Massive organ failure from radioactive bombardment. We’re lucky the lead sheets in this old russian disco shield us.”
“I just don’t know how this happened…”
“…Son, there are some things men are not meant to know. The art of Gamme Game is one of those things. But sometimes, you just… find these people on the Internet, share the techniques. The Matriarchy is looking into it”
“Good luck. You’ve got to stop this happening. I just… I just can’t take another scene like this – last time, it was three city blocks”
Gorgeous!
That reminds me of when Mum and I were on a coach tour in Scotland. It had stopped at a distillery and we stayed outside, not having any interest in going in. There was an outlet pipe where hot water ran into a stream, and did the local ducks ever like having a warm bath!
I am so stealing this.
I’m imagining something from Fringe a few seasons ago right now.
K.O. Fibinachi wins! Applause, applause 🙂
Also, what’s with the trolls today? Brz’s on the other thread, Jesus, have they got a Bat signal?
Also, speaking of batman,
I NEED funnies 🙂
More like a batshit signal in their cases.
@kittehserf 🙂
Hey Minty
I’ve an alpha sitting next to me.
He’s not musclebound and never was.
He had multiple illnesses in his earthly days.
I think he was sexy as hell then even knowing how they ravaged his body.
He’s even sexier now.
And he’s never been an arrogant, predatory scumbag of the sort you think women are attracted to.
You’re such a moron, please don’t ever talk to anyone more than you have to when you go on your nighttime shopping trips. You’ll only annoy people (of whatever gender).
And that’s real.
@Fibinachi,
Thanks! I doubt Minty learned anything about science or logic, but I certainly did.
Fade —
“trans woman’s less rights: I think they’re murdered at a higher rate, and people try to get away with it with “Trans panic” defense. But I am really, really bad at trans issues, so I may be wrong.”
Trans* WoC particularly, and oh fuck yes it’s a much higher rate (about 10x) than the general murder rate. And ~50% attempt suicide.
In the context of “compared to cis men”, that’s versus the general population, so yep, still higher. But cis men are murdered at higher rates than cis women (of course, the vast majority of murderers are men and a third of female homicide victims are killed by current/ex partners [that one I have all the math on if it’s wanted])
/random facts
Dear gods Fibinachi!! Your fortitude astounds me! I had something else to say, but your amazing reply stole all my thought processes (that, and having spent another day cleaning out my grandfather’s…complete with straddling a box of glassware while turning the POD into a spider web of rope cuz my father has the packing skills of an ostrich)
@La Strega:
If you find time to teach me some fundamental of magic or witchery, we’ll call it even :]
(If the joke is not, in fact, funny, substitute for “… Oh dear lord, I left some logic in there? Now I can’t get it back, i’ll be all Minty” and we’ll make no more witch jokes)
@Argenti Aertheri:
That sounds… complex. Good luck managing the estate – at least heavy boxes and packing is less blocky and obtuse than most of the MRA work!
I wasn’t aware that the violence rate was that high, by the way. That’s… disturbing. Way disturbing. Thank you for the factual aid.
Fibinachi — the estate is my father’s problem, in theory. My brother and I have been enlisted to do the heavy lifting (and our mother for that matter, but she’d tackling “wrapping breakable stuff” at this point). Really the most complex part is that he’s just moved into a nursing home, so it isn’t really an estate in the typical sense — the shit my uncle and aunt and cousins are inheriting, when that time comes, are our problem to box up. *rolls eyes*
But yes, learning the hard way that a box of records (eg 45s, though paper records too I guess) is just as heavy as a box of books? Way less obtuse than MRAs, but at least as annoying — don’t carry many MRAs up from the basement 🙂
And yeah, it’s that bad. And that’s not touching the homelessness rate or anything like that. Really fucking agitating that our little white cis straight totally not oppressed men act like they’re the next civil rights movement when “bathroom panic” is being codified into law (Arizona, big surprise eh?)
That got long…sorry, I’m feeling ranty.
Entirely off all possible topics, but after hours digging through census data, Ellis island, etc, it has come to my attention that there’s a “in soviet Russia” “joke” that actually works. In soviet Russia you don’t find records, records find you. I can’t find shit and I assume the purge at the fall of the Soviet Union is part of why. Nobody sorted which records where KGB “records find you” versus records you want to find.
British records? Pretty damned good right back to plague era.
US census? Aggravating, but works, eventually.
Pre-independence Lithuania? Fucking nothing.
/rant
@Argenti
I like that. I know its miserable, but I have liked the updates.
@Argenti: Beloved and I went and toured a house for sale back in December. Although the upstairs was pretty empty, the downstairs was a jumble of stuff from a lifetime. I found a leather bag full of black-powder rifle or musket paraphernalia, and part of a lamp or something from the Chicago World’s Fair in the 30s.
We didn’t end up buying the house (the seller pulled out) but I would not have wanted to cart all that stuff up the rickety stairs. Fortunately there was a basement garage door.
Plus, we eventually did find a place and then we had to move all of our accumulated things over.
tl;dr, I know that feel, sib. *daps*
bahumbugi: Evo bio and evo psych are two different things, with different levels of respectability (evo psych is the one Satoshi Kanazawa does). I’ll have to limit my condemnation to his creepiness and not his choice of major.
Fibinachi: evolution is actually about surviving, not reproducing
IIRC, Darwin used “natural selection” to refer to surviving, not mate choice, and used “sexual selection” to refer to mate choice. I think most people these days talk about sexual selection as a subcategory of natural selection; that’s the way Wikipedia does it, at any rate.. Both are definitely part of evolution, though, as is genetic drift (genetic changes that are due to chance rather than due to selection). (Technically, although the immortal jellyfish you mentioned don’t have to mate, they are still reproducing: the polyp stage buds off a bunch of jellyfish that will become sexually mature if they survive long enough, and they could then go back to the polyp stage, potentially creating a bunch of new polyps and not just one…)
BTW, hello everyone. I like this blog and sometimes I read the comments. I may pop in occasionally.
Hi, closetpuritan! 🙂