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antifeminism awesome incoherent rage mansplaining MRA reddit

Saruman Vs. the Sh*tlords

3-hobbit_saruman

Today, something kind of amazing that’s been making its way around Tumblr: a recording of Saruman — well, someone doing a pretty good impersonation of Christopher Lee as Saruman — doing a dramatic reading of an MRA-ish rant from a Reddit shitlord.

You’ll have to listen closely, because the rant is a bit convoluted and concern-trolly. Also, the commenter comes back with a couple of edits after he gets benned from whatever subreddit this took place in, apparently SRS.

Listen to it here.

Thanks to MollyRen for bringing this to my attention.

EDITED: Definitely not Mr. Lee.

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Kittehserf
8 years ago

Pike!

Curse this Gothic lettering! 😀

On the pike of feminism sounds either like a dangerous fish who eats Male Dignity or Vlad Tepes turning feminist, a most improbable image.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

I always think Nietzsche had a cat called Abyss in mind when he wrote that.

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

PEMRA, it’s good see you’ve still got a bit of fighting spirit despite your lifetime of oppression.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

It’s amazing how he copes, isn’t it? All that hatred, wearing down his soul, every day.

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

I don’t use the word hero very often….

Jessay (@jessay)
8 years ago

I just can’t believe the dude edited his post (the reddit post this was a dramatic reading of) to add a Nietzsche quote at the end. He really believes he is a visionary huh?

Ok, off to kill my feminist plaque and go to bed.

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

Guys quoting Nietzsche is always a bit of a red flag for me

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

Ha!, Kittehserf. Also, the “I’ve read Nietzsche and that Ubermensch is, like, so me”.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

LOL gakk!

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Well, as usual I didn’t get all the writing done I intended to (curse you, distracting Manboobz!) but at least I got a picture of an oppressed white man alpha male mangina gorgeous man almost wearing knitwear done.

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

Kittehserf, I read some of your blog yesterday. It’s amazing. I was talking about it with myfella today. So interesting.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Awww, thank you!

*blushes*

*shuffles feet*

I get all excited when anyone reads it, and that people actually talk about it – wow!

*goes back to shuffling feet*

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

No need to shuffle. It’s very cool. Yes, we talked about it – it’s interesting on levels that appeal to both of us in different ways. I should post there to discuss it.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

I would love that!!! And if you want to email, have a look at the comments on the latest post – Theda Bara and I are swapping email addys, you’ll find mine in there. 🙂

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

Thanks, I will for sure. 🙂

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Yay!

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Look, we’ve almost taken over the Recent Comments bar.

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OY OY OY

/tragic bogan

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

(Brit is still awake but working on something. Also contemplating what tea to buy next.)

Kittehserf
8 years ago

You’ll be beating us at cricket next! 😀

Tea as in not tried before, or tea you’re already familiar with?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

As in both what do I want for myself (tea type I’m familiar with but there are still lots of different grades etc to try, and where they’re grown makes a difference in the flavor) and also I’m looking for gifts for a friend who wants to try more Chinese tea. Since I know she has a glass teapot I’m considering getting her some tea blossoms just because they’re so pretty.

http://www.tentea.com/grteabl.html

(Click on individual pics for a bigger version of the picture)

Kittehserf
8 years ago

I might pack up here and have a look at my knitting (which I was going to do hours ago … oh well).

I shall leave you with the latest pictures showing a very popular paper bag. Novelty is everything for kitties.

Maddie the knitting cat

Fribbie, also the knitting cat

(Not that either of them actually did anything helpful – heaven forfend.)

Niters!

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
8 years ago

@Kittehs I love the knitting cats faces-you know they would be giving you the finger if they had fingers. Also, doing something helpful- for a human? Miscatry! 😉

estelle
estelle
8 years ago

omfg

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

The cats get so upset when I knit around them. “What, you’re going to play with giant balls of Toy and I don’t get to play? What kind of wicked step-mommy are you??”

bahumbugi
bahumbugi
8 years ago

@ jessay — someone please animate this!

minty. just….oy.

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
8 years ago

Oy, Minty, did you get all your ideas off of psychology today? From what I’ve skimmed over your understanding of evolution is about as undeveloped as anything they print there.

Fade
8 years ago

Honestly though, am I the only woman (on here and among the people I know IRL) who actually does like guys with muscles?

I like people with muscles! Which is why Daniel Craig is my favorite bond.

Now… since I am just waking up and need to do something that doesn’t use brainpower, I shall try to parse minty’s comment.

So far: blah, blah, blah, Minty thinks that harrassment is the same thing as talking to people…

It has this hidden subtext that you are less of a citizen, less of a person with rights, and you have no right to attempt to step outside of your box and break decorum, established and expressed by women, that women do not wish to be spoken to by men on the streets that would dare to circumvent established social and economic pecking orders.

Cis woman’s less rights: Not being able to control what goes on in our own body. (and I assume trans men who can potentially get pregnant are affected negatively by the extremely anti abortion laws, too)

Every woman’s less rights: Higher chance of being paid less, sexually assaulted at a higher rate, treated less seriously …

trans woman’s less rights: I think they’re murdered at a higher rate, and people try to get away with it with “Trans panic” defense. But I am really, really bad at trans issues, so I may be wrong.

Minty’s definition of men’s less rights: Complete strangers don’t want to talk to him.

Just leaving that there.

See manboob, in this great game of natural selection that provides the evolution of species, the organisms that thrive, do so only if they are able to reproduce with the fittest offspring.

This reminds me of how, due to natural selection, I was eaten by a cougar when out for a stroll because I can’t run.

Those might be some of the smartest organisms ever.

Plants… don’t have brains.

Now don’t confuse your stupid manboob definition of alpha

My stupid manboob definition of alpha is that it’s the first letter of the greek alphabet. 😛

So she hates the beta twice as much as the likes the alpha.

You going on about what women like as if you know reminds me of a five year old I baby sit. He’d try to describe what just happened in a completely different way than it did. Dude, I was there. I know what happened.

Funnily enough, I also know what I like

Like how everyone is repulsed by feces or vomit

Just pointing out: My sister is not repulsed by feces. She is actually kind of cavalier about it, which is probably good seing as how she has two guinea pigs who poop on everything and often baby sits.

The women all say “well they’re poor and you can “rape” them.”

Anyone who uses scare quotes around rape is obviously a dispicable human being.

Which women in South America are the most popular with American and European men? Colombia. And least popular? Argentina. What is the difference in the makeup of the people? Argentina was second only to the United States in immigration from Western Europe. Colombia was isolated by mountains until the latter half of the 2th century. And analysis of the genes of Colombians show that the female mitochondrial makeup is 98% indigenous people.

Um, so lots of american and european men fetishize indigenous Colombian women b/c of their (the men’s) misogyny. You do realize that’s not a good thing, right?

And she makes that determination of that immunocompentency on sight, manhoob. It takes about 1 second to shoot down most men as not having sufficient “alphatude”

I will admit… I normally do not want to sleep with men I meet. Is that the same thing as instantly shooting them down?

See manboob, men don’t have an equivalent psychological reaction towards women, even ugly women.

Judging by your comment, I beg to differ.

That’s why rape, any rape, violent, date, etc is so horrific to women and men don’t get it.

Men don’t get it because they have a much lower chance of being raped and haven’t seen society excusing rapists and going “well, what about the poor rapists future?” whenever rapists are tried in court, with the knowledge (women have) that people value them less than criminals who violate other people’s humanity. Fucker.

And make no mistake, manboob, I am not minimizing what women feel. I understand how they feel.

obviously not.

Notice the word, manboob, “creep”. Spiders are creepy, snakes are creepy, horror movies are creepy, and beta manboobs are creepy.

Creep is used to enforce boundaries by people who haven’t got the vocabulary (or don’t want to waste the time to use it) for it because society encourages women not to think about boundaries or enforce them. If we knew from the moment that we were kids that some guy who is leering at us or asking us inappropriate questions or worse stuff was violating our boundaries, we could just say “hey, that guy was violating my personal space and my boundaries”. But because we don’t, because people don’t teach us to enforce them, the only word we have for that is creep.

That was… long.

TL;DR Minty is even more despicable than you thought he was.

Why would you get into bodybuilding to improve your general health? Just run a mile or so.

Before I got fibromyalgia, I preffered weightlifting to running. Dude, sometimes people just have preferences.

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
8 years ago

Also, tulips, grains and pulses weren’t the result of evolution… They are the result of thousands of years of agriculture.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Actually I’m going to say something I never expected to say – all the people who write for Psychology Today seem to be smarter and to have a better understanding of evolution than Minty. Even Satoshi Kanazawa, and that’s really saying something.

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
8 years ago

Err… I woldnt be surprised to find that Minty was a huge fan of Satoshi.

Both of them can go step on legos.

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

If you want points in your thesis, take down evo psych.

bahumbugi
bahumbugi
8 years ago

If anyone remembers that creepy ex I got a creepy (using this word to irk purposefully) unsolicited email from…he majored in evo bio. If only I had known the implications!!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I kind of think of it as the basket weaving of technically-science degrees. Even if you’re not a creepy sexist weirdo, I am judging you for picking such a weaksauce science as your major.

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
8 years ago

Because I wanted to try and run 50 km, and that was difficult to do with just running practice. What I needed wasn’t conditioning of my body, what I needed was the muscular infrastructure to move my mass over that distance without my bones being worn down to stumps and my muscles destroying themselves. So… weight training, namely lots of squats to build the undercarrige capable of providing the locomotion for the task. “health” is a really, really vague defintion of things and reason to exercise.

Running is great! But I think people do different things because different things appeal to them, and there’s hardly a “best way” to exercise.

do so only if they are able to reproduce with the fittest offspring.

Evolution, people:

It’s about REPRODUCING with the FITTEST offspring!

Because incest garanties your noble genetic line will prosper and carry on with no outside pollution to contiminate your superior alpha gene pool. This is why Warren Farrel was right, don’t’cha’kno— and that’s no longer funny, I just made myself depressed.

Am I the only one who finds that hilarious? I get what you are trying to say, Minter, but what you wrote was not really what you were attempting to communicate. And it’s a mistake I find often. It’s amusing.
(evolution is actually about surviving, not reproducing – reproducing helps but you can also just do like the deep sea water men and regurgiatate your genetic code to have a form of quasi immortality. Water men isn’t the right term, but I can’t remember which it really is…)

I was going to go through it bit by bit, but Fade did that already so…
@Fade:
You beat me to it! Curse you! Curse you and your… effeciency and ability to read! It’s the bane of trolls, it is! Well done, though. :}

archaeoholmes
archaeoholmes
8 years ago

Feminists want respect and equal treatment for all women. Hate feminists, Hate women.

Fade
8 years ago

Thank you! And too be fair, right now I’m in too much pain* to do school, so I’m just refreshing manboobz comments and watching James Bond on TV

*whiny? me?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Minty: TL;DR get your own blog.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

He puts the gas in “long-winded”.

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
8 years ago

Ah. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turritopsis_nutricula
That’s what I was remembering.

Less “immortal” and more “could possibly be, but we haven’t managed to check yet…”

Creative Writing Student

Listened to the clip.

I kinda want it as my ringtone. Especially one of the weightlifting bits.

pecunium
8 years ago

PEMRA: “Alphas” in colloquial terms just refers to a man who is popular with women… it doesn’t matter if it’s being used correctly in the “scientific” sense.

So a man who is feminist, and also has “success” with women is alpha? And the point of “Alphaness” is to be popular with women?

Then why do the PUAs malign feminist men as, “only doing it so women will like you?”

Obviously you are wrong.

pecunium
8 years ago

See manboob, in this great game of natural selection that provides the evolution of species, the organisms that thrive, do so only if they are able to reproduce with the fittest offspring.

See Minter, “organisms” don’t evolve. They don’t survive either (everyone’s gonna die). Individuals have offspring, populations survive.

Right now, it looks as if those who have more feminist ways of thinking are doing better, and that gives you a sad. Which hurts you, and causes you to lash out with 2500 word rants about how we are all pathetic losers, unlike you; who skulks about and whines about how women won’t give him the time of day.

Which means you are losing at, “The great game of natural selection”.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

A dude who’s so afraid of the modern world that he can’t even go to the grocery store during the day? Yep, he sure is winning at life.

Buntzums
Buntzums
8 years ago

Hahahaha. That was a good one. I don’t know much about reddit so I don’t really understand the whole “putting down men and whites” thing is. None the less, I find this a great message. Could listen to it 10 times. 😀

cloudiah
8 years ago

lowquacks, that was brilliant. OMG, Fraktur. I have spent way too much of my life deciphering that alphabet.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
8 years ago

Okay, I didn’t bother reading that long, boring screed, but I did notice this bit

Basically, they are verbally chastising the other males for having the temerity to actually step out of their lowly social positions and actually speak to the princesses.

It has this hidden subtext that you are less of a citizen, less of a person with rights, and you have no right to attempt to step outside of your box and break decorum, established and expressed by women, that women do not wish to be spoken to by men on the streets that would dare to circumvent established social and economic pecking orders.

Boo fucking hoo for the guys who catcall women on the street, those poor lowly betas screaming “Nice ass!” at a woman minding her own business, walking to the grocery store. Won’t someone think of how they suffer if they can’t intimidate and humiliate random women? That princess should have stood up for that oppressed man and said “Thank you for noticing my ass and tits, you kind gentleman! Now everyone stand up and applaud his bravery for giving me such a sweet compliment!”

Also, my husband is about 80 pounds overweight and has trouble with acne, but he is alpha because he is kind, intelligent, good with kids, and has an off beat sense of humor. But whatever, I must be a gamma ray woman or something.

RaulGroom
RaulGroom
8 years ago

“Both of them can go step on legos.”

Please put a trigger warning on any post that mentions stepping on Legos. I have two Lego-loving children and this post gave me PTSD-twitch. 😉

princessbonbon
8 years ago

Basically, they are verbally chastising the other males for having the temerity to actually step out of their lowly social positions and actually speak to the princesses.

Now this is really going to cheese you off Minty:

http://www.policymic.com/articles/37617/this-is-what-a-great-anti-sexual-assault-psa-looks-like

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
8 years ago

The organism that can convince or cause another to modify its anatomy and/or its behavior, especially if that organism cannot thrive by mere brute force, or by numbers, or by optimum conditions, well that organism will fare better.

I couldn’t get through all of Minty’s little screed, but I’m glad I made it as far as this, because I needed the laugh. Minty, darling, that’s not really how natural selection.

And I’m with collects_caps: ignoring everything women have said about street harassment, making up your own explanation that just happens to fit your pet theories, and then telling a bunch of women what they really think about a topic that affects them more than it affects you is epic-level mansplaining.