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Saruman Vs. the Sh*tlords

3-hobbit_saruman

Today, something kind of amazing that’s been making its way around Tumblr: a recording of Saruman — well, someone doing a pretty good impersonation of Christopher Lee as Saruman — doing a dramatic reading of an MRA-ish rant from a Reddit shitlord.

You’ll have to listen closely, because the rant is a bit convoluted and concern-trolly. Also, the commenter comes back with a couple of edits after he gets benned from whatever subreddit this took place in, apparently SRS.

Listen to it here.

Thanks to MollyRen for bringing this to my attention.

EDITED: Definitely not Mr. Lee.

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Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Who used to look like this but yes, is all kinds of muscled now (and that to the “what the hell happened to you?!” from me, but yes, he has that “alpha” trait)

Kittehserf
11 years ago

I googled images of Carrot Top before. Got to say he looks awful whatever the hairdo and whatever the body … ewww. He’s like a textbook example of how not to do abundant red hair.

pecunium
11 years ago

I wish I could find the video, because it isn’t just the words. The people in the video are pointing out // matching colors and a couple of times I went “those are not the same color” or “wtf? Those aren’t even a little bit different”. As if the actual ability to see the colors, and recognize them as unique, is dependent on how color is expressed culturally and linguistically.

That’s what the book is about. How we separate color, and how the ways we separate color affect what we see when we see them.

When you say red, and I say red, are we seeing the same color? That old question? Quite possibly not.

We are. What we aren’t doing is (perhaps) categorizing it in the same ways. This is an old problem in linguistics, it’s the crux of Sapir-Whorf. How much of what we say is shaped by how we think, and how much of how we think is shaped by what we say.

Tomorrow I’ll dig out the book.

But as to the, “what if your blue and my blue aren’t the same”. Enh. If I say, “hand me the salmon colored fabric, and you hand it to me, then it’s the same.

The thing about those color choices is that different ways of categorising will lead to different ways of naming. And color isn’t discrete. Where a culture puts the border between green and blue, or green and yellow, will shape how you identify them.

but… if you hand people color samples, and ask them to grade them, as a continuum, the pattern will be much the same, even if when you ask them to separate the blue from the green, or the red from the purple they will have radically different stacks.

What makes it seem odd is that the words being used in those tests pretend to be objective; and they aren’t. It’s like asking an MRA what a “just” child support system is.

Carleyblue
Carleyblue
11 years ago

Wow, I actually read all of Mark Minter’s comment. Apparently I have nothing better to do with my life. Seriously, though, this:

Alpha is not the leader dude, the successful dude, that you like to think. Alpha is the guy women want to sex them. Alpha is guy they do in the bathroom at the club. Alpha is muscular, confrontational, arrogant, unfaithful, and lastly in importance, attractive, good looking man.

is just not true. You can’t make up your own definition of alpha. The alpha is the leader- that’s what alpha means. It doesn’t mean ‘guy who is most successful with women’. I will admit that some women do like confrontational, over-confident men, but not all. But arrogant and unfaithful? Those are big, big turn-offs for me, and for most other women (I think). True, if you’re doing someone ‘in the bathroom at the club’ (yuck) you might not care that much about their positive personality traits, only about animal attraction. Like you would pick up a woman in a club based on her positive, warm personality traits…

Honestly though, am I the only woman (on here and among the people I know IRL) who actually does like guys with muscles?

Collects_Caps
Collects_Caps
11 years ago

Mark’s manifesto=the definition of “mansplaining.”

Carleyblue
Carleyblue
11 years ago

ANOTHER successful blockquote! I feel like my time is running out and the blockquote monster is going to strike very, very soon…

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Carleyblue – if you are the only woman who likes guys with muscles, be happy – that much less competition! 😀

Alpha just means the father of a wolf pack. That’s about all it really applies to – animal pack hierarchies. And it’s not the garbage about dominant male and all that guff MRAs etc like to make out. Did you ever read the post Dave did about how the person who did that study was pretty pissed off with how it was misinterpreted? It had the strangest looking wolf I’ve ever seen as a meme.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

This is the post, if you’re interested:

http://manboobz.com/?s=alpha+wolf

Oh and yes, the blockquote monster will definitely get you. Though it’s prolly sated tonight, it got Shadow on the other thread.

Carleyblue
Carleyblue
11 years ago

Kittehserf- I know the ‘Alpha male’ isn’t really a thing, I do remember reading that post. I just meant to say that even in the stereotypical sense of the word as applied to human beings, our friend Mark was using it in a really weird way. At least that’s what I think I meant to say.

Heh, I remember my ex-boyfriend ( a great guy in other ways) used to go on about alpha males. It was strange.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

MRAs seem to do that all the time, don’t they? “Words have meanings” is something that completely eludes them.

I wonder what the guys (MRAs or not, like your ex) want when they witter on about alphas and betas? Do they seriously think there’s some little group of men getting All Teh Sex or being mobbed in the street by women or some such thing? It’s all so silly.

marinerachel
marinerachel
11 years ago

Carrot Top is actually wacky buff.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

I’m reading the alpha wolf thread and just found this comment by pillowinhell: “His prose may be overheated, but his ideas are half baked.”

I think she was referring to Roissy but it put me in mind of NumptyMints here. Though “half baked” is too kind; more like stodgy dough with no yeast.

pecunium
11 years ago

The fuck? . Or even better like the rancher that cares, feeds, and protects the cows, then stands back when the prize bull is brought to further her biological goals of producing the best offspring possible.

Your metaphor is bizarre. I’ve got friends who raise cattle. The rancher is the one in charge. S/he decides which cows get covered. Then he sells the heifers, and keeps the steers. Most of them he castrates. A few he may mutilate (these are kept uncastrated because they can be used to arouse the cow, so that the stud can be brought in to cover her. But sometimes they figure out how to use their realigned penes to cover the cows).

When the steers are big enough, the are slaughtered.

So if we are like the ranchers, we get to choose who the alphas and betas are.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Does Minty’s religion forbid him to be pithy or something?

Carleyblue
Carleyblue
11 years ago

Kittehserf- Well, I know my ex wasn’t thinking in terms of sex when he used the term. He thought that some men (or people in general) had natural leadership abilities and was fascinated by what made them in some way. A little strange, nonetheless.

Come to think of it, I don’t like really muscular men, just a bit muscular. Mostly the arms, but not huge bulges.

OK, now I need to stop talking about muscles and get ready for work.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

This, however, is my favorite typo in years.

The plaque killed 25-30% in the 1300s.

You know when you were a kid and your mom would tell you to brush your teeth? She wasn’t nagging you, she was just worried that the plaque might kill you, like it killed 25-30% of Europeans in ye olde days. Poor dental hygiene is the greatest health threat mankind has ever known.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Eh, so he was just using the term loosely, then. Not that it really applies either way.

Have a good day at work! 🙂

Kittehserf
11 years ago

The Black Plaque!

The Great Plaque of London!

Plaque-bearing rats! (Well no wonder, you ever tried brushing a rat’s teeth?)

marinerachel
marinerachel
11 years ago

NOT THE BLACK PLAQUE!

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

Guys, guys, let’s not be silly here. Minty was obviously referring to deaths which happened to people standing under poorly-fastened heavy plaques – architecture and safety regulations weren’t what they are today.

Pro-Equality MRA
Pro-Equality MRA
11 years ago

“Alphas” in colloquial terms just refers to a man who is popular with women… it doesn’t matter if it’s being used correctly in the “scientific” sense.

Ray
Ray
11 years ago

@lowquacks

I’m a weightlifter. Of the other weightlifters I’ve met, there seems to be a divide between people who got into it to improve their health or out of interest in the hobby and people (mostly guys) who got into it because they’re romantically incompetent and believe that gaining muscle will fix that. I cannot tell you how many guys I’ve met who have repugnant personalities but decided to blame their looks instead.

What’s funny is that after those guys go through few bulk/cut cycles and get bigger, they continue to blame their inadequacy on their looks/women’s shallowness. I’ve met guys who look great (and know they look great), but when women run away as soon as they open their mouths, they say that women have shit taste, that the only reason that she wasn’t attracted to him is that he’s muscular! Gee, you couldn’t get laid before you started working out, you can’t get laid after working out… but your looks are totally the problem here. Gotcha.

Guy doesn’t work out? Women are shallow, they only like ripped guys!
Guy gets ripped? Women are shallow, they only like ottermode!
Guy starts swimming? Women are shallow, they only like [insert any other body type ad nauseam]. The guy never has anything to do with it, all women are just shallow bitches who are conspiring against his boner.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Feminists hang plaques for the express purpose of killing men foolish enough to stand under one because some privileged princess asks them to. And then we steal their toothbrushes, just in case the first kind of plaque isn’t deadly enough.

Pro-Equality MRA
Pro-Equality MRA
11 years ago

“people who got into it to improve their health or out of interest in the hobby and people (mostly guys) who got into it because they’re romantically incompetent and believe that gaining muscle will fix that.”

Why would you get into bodybuilding to improve your general health? Just run a mile or so. Actually I know that it’s very easy to overdo it and break your body down. I used to pump serious iron when I was in my early twenties, I guess I looked pretty good but I really wasn’t particularly healthy. I didn’t work my legs, didn’t have very much endurance- just a big chest. Eh.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Ray, why am I not surprised those nitwits act like that? ::rolls eyes::

Thank you for introducing me to the word ottermode. I’ve looked it up now but the first thing that came to mind was something like this.

(No it’s not JohntheOtter!)