Today, something kind of amazing that’s been making its way around Tumblr: a recording of Saruman — well, someone doing a pretty good impersonation of Christopher Lee as Saruman — doing a dramatic reading of an MRA-ish rant from a Reddit shitlord.
You’ll have to listen closely, because the rant is a bit convoluted and concern-trolly. Also, the commenter comes back with a couple of edits after he gets benned from whatever subreddit this took place in, apparently SRS.
Listen to it here.
Thanks to MollyRen for bringing this to my attention.
EDITED: Definitely not Mr. Lee.
@Minty
How would you know what people do on the street? You only leave at night using secret tunnels.
Jeez, MuntyNumpty posts a wall of text and thinks anyone can be bothered reading it?
Numpty, don’t you have some efficient midnight walking to do?
Jesus fucking Christ on a goddamned pogo stick Minty! I could write out all the relatives between me and Giggleswick, UK and use less words! There are less words between me and 1590 than there are in your comment.
Damn.
Mark, do you think we care enough to read all those words? Seriously, take it somewhere else. Like a therapist, maybe. Or, I know! It’s spring – go outside and do something! Go for a run, or grill, or plant some stuff and make a nice patio. Like one of these: http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/the-great-outdoors-the-best-gardening-posts-best-of-2012-181689 . And that’s real.
Ok… I went into it at random:
So what your manboob game is saying is “I am a manboob”, and the only reason you play it is because you cannot be an alpha, because if you were, you would not see things as you do. Your experience would tell you that what you say is a fucking lie. You would not be saying those women want men to be as you think they should be. Because they don’t. They do want manboobs to be as you say. They want you to be that way. And I mean you. Because what you do and what you believe is living proof you are a manboob.
Could you define “Alpha”. Because everytime I see a description, I think maybe I might be an alpha. But then I say women are human beings, and I get told I’m not.
So what is it that makes a man an Alpha? His job? His ability to get laid? His skill at intimidating other men? His clothes? His toys? What is it?
But after what was clearly a significant amount of time spent crafting that, he still posted it in the wrong thread. 0_o
TL;DR summary (I’m fighting with ancestry.com server errors, might as well read it) —
Ev psych says women like alphas twice as much as they despise betas (this is more or less a quote). It’s unconscious, just like “how there seems to be a general consensus that ‘red is red'”…except that’s culturally determined (I’ll cite that in a moment)
But hey, liking alphas is also culturally dependant, because *drum roll* the plague. Or more specifically, all disease. Western society apparently had more of those meaning western women need to be (unconsciously) more decerning about mates, because um, stuff. (I think he was going for “people more prone to diseases select mates based on unconscious signals suggesting the offspring will survive”…except he failed miserably and decided, well…)
Testosterone’s an immunosuppressant, so muscles mean his immune system can cope with it and her precious eggs won’t be squandered. There is a shit ton in there about her precious eggs (MY PREEECCCCIOOUSSS)
Also, manboobz is what David calls himself. And Minty totally understand the fear women feel when people joke about rape and the fear of being raped in general.
Speed reading, it does have a use!
Would numpty’s world fall apart if he knew there are no such things as alphas?
cloudiah, lol, yeah, I thought “why here? Can’t genius essayist even get the right thread?”
Hey numpty, at random: I don’t give a shit about eggs, or protecting ’em, or anything. My feelings about rape have nothing to do with reproduction.
I also do not hate men in general, although there is only one who I have ever wanted sex with in this world or any other. Does that make him the one and only alpha, ever? Gosh. He’d be amazed.
Oh, and I thoroughly dislike heavily-muscled men. I don’t find them a turn on, just the opposite: I look at them and wonder if they’re really vain, or if they’re going to use those muscles, who they might be using them on. Probably totally unjust, but they’re a potential threat, not attractive.
I don’t want compliments on my body or face from any man except my husband. I don’t care if the guy’s the distillation of manly manliness, I’m not interested. “Great jeans!” from a friend is one thing, but I doubt that’s the sort of compliment you’re talking about.
Pecunium — sorry dude, your inability to build muscle proves your immune system can’t tolerate the immunosuppressant effects of testosterone, which means no women would ever waste her eggs breeding with your ineffective immune system.
I’m kind of frightened that I managed to make heads or tails of Minty. But I’ve been putting in full time hours sorting my grandfather’s half a century worth of shit.
There are no words… mainly because Minty Fresh took them all and spoiled them by contact and abuse of the English language.
Kittehs — doesn’t matter you don’t want to // won’t use your eggs, it’s unconscious! You’re pulsed by kind caring men!
Mark, you’re writing on my blog more than I’m writing on my blog.
Oh, colors being cultural no universal! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethnoecology
Wonder if I can find the video, it’s interesting, makes you wonder what colors you’re collapsing into one.
Argenti, good thing my eggs are about to wither and die, then! 😀
The fuck? Dennis Kucinich. Dustin Hoffman. Jon Stewart.
None of them is buff. None of them is wanting for attractive women (I’m pretty sure at least two of them have kids). Fuck, even CarrotTop has women who want to fuck him.
So clearly that “muscle” stuff ain’t it, heck, it’s not as if I’m exactly lacking for women who want to have babies with me.
So I think I need to have him explain Alpha to me. In simple sentences. Maybe he needs a ghostwriter, Bonzo might be available.
Argenti: I have a book by a linguist (native speaker of English, Hebrew, and German: the last may be a misremembrance) about how color/language reveal things. It’s an interesting thesis, and while I have some problems with his interpretations, there is some interesting data in there (and the bibliography has the primary sources, so the raw data is findable).
You both crack me up. Right until CarrotTop, then it went all WTF?! (Sorry, I remember when he looked like abnormal human with notable hair…not whatever the fuck happened to him)
Minty please do explain how pecunium has partners if he’s nice and not muscled. I’m dying to hear this!
I wish I could find the video, because it isn’t just the words. The people in the video are pointing out // matching colors and a couple of times I went “those are not the same color” or “wtf? Those aren’t even a little bit different”. As if the actual ability to see the colors, and recognize them as unique, is dependent on how color is expressed culturally and linguistically.
It wasn’t just using the same word, the way we can debate wtf color salmon is, it was matching two “different” colors or separating to “same” colors (scare quotes because presumably I’m no more right than the people in the video where)
When you say red, and I say red, are we seeing the same color? That old question? Quite possibly not.
All counterexamples to broad generalizations about human sexual psychology are dismissed with either:
1. You’re in denial. You might think that you don’t like manly man alphas, but you are deluded about your own preferences, or you simply can’t get with a real man like Roissy so you’ve got to settle for a poodleman beta.
2. You’re a deviant. If you don’t act like a ‘typical woman’, that’s because you’re a biological freak and you’ve got too much testosterone or something. Evo-psych claims to be descriptive, but it’s really normative. It’s not an attempt to explain what is, it’s an attempt to sneak in claims about what ought to be.
To be fair, Carrot Top, however odd-looking he is now, is quite buff.
thekidwiththereplaceablehead – that’s a good summary of evopsych, especially as used by tossers like notcoolmints.
Thank goodness for being a deviant … if Roissy’s a real man, I’m glad not to be interested in ’em!
Who the heck is this Carrot Top person? I just googled him and went ewwww. Not because of the hair, or the muscles, but the face. So Not My Type.
What is it with the new-right/manosphere/assorted “alpha” theorist/MRA community and weightlifting, anyway? It’s a perfectly fine hobby to have, but it’s pushed as something essential or that makes you a better person innately (I’m sure many people feel it’s made them a better person in some other way – more motivated, or happier, or whatever – but that’s a little different) and I really can’t see why. Annoys me even more when it’s shortened to just “lift”.
Funnily enough, people into weightlifting I’ve met, often quite heavily into it (lel), don’t seem to exhibit this – it seems more that this crowd likes to weightlift than that the community of weightlifting type tends towards the MRA/racist stuff.
I’m not sure about how big weightlifting’s been as a thing, but I’d be interested to see – there’s a level of “fundamental masculinity” behind the weightlifting fetishism, most likely, and it’d be interesting to see how much that matches up with the actual exercise habits of 1950’s white folks/vikings/whichever group these people are idolising now.
@Kittehs
Carrot Top is a painfully unfunny prop comedian.
I’m not missing anything not knowing about him, then. That’s good to know. 😀
I’m seeing the MRAs as the guys reading all those Charles Atlas ads that were still in comics in the ’70s – the weedy guy getting sand kicked in his face, doing his Charles Atlas course and then coming back and punching out the beach bully. It’d go right with their notions about women only being interested in a particular sort of man, too. They seem to think we’re all like the woman in the ad who blames Skinny Guy for what happened.