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Toilet Soap: How evil women trick men into thinking they’re not old hags

sneakyladies

We were talking the other day about an especially popular Manosphere fairy tale — you know, the one in which evil women in their “prime” years in their twenties have lots of sex with charming assholes (and none with hard-working decent nice guys), only to panic when they hit the age of thirty or so and suddenly become ugly monsters.

Well, apparently the evil women have come up with a technical solution to that whole “getting old and ugly” problem. I have uncovered secret evidence in the form of a pamphlet or leaflet that the women of the world evidently circulate amongst themselves.

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Very clever of these sneaky women to call this magical age-defying balm “Toilet Soap,” to make us men think it’s a product only used for cleaning toilets, which is something women apparently do on a regular basis. But no, they put this so-called “Toilet Soap” on their faces!

I have been unable to find any of this “Lux Toilet Soap” at the local grocery store. So I’ve been trying out other toilet cleaners to see if they have the same age-retarding effects. So far I have had little luck. The Clorox Toilet Wand is harsh and awkward to use. Lime-A-Way Toilet Bowl Cleaner gave me a rash. The less said about my experience with the Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Cleaning Gel, the better. I have not yet tried Lysol’s Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner, as I am pretty sure Lysol is intended only for vaginas.

Also, fellas, I don’t want to alarm you, but I have been doing reasearch on yet another way women try to trick us into thinking that they’re hotter than they really are. It’s apparently called “make-up.” I will fill you in on the details as I learn more about it.

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Dvärghundspossen
Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

@Fade: This trope becomes not just sexist and oppressive but blatantly ridiculous when the story is told in the first person. Obviously, in real life, there are people who are conventionally attractive and yet unsecure about their looks. Suppose, just for the sake of argument, that Megan Fox is one of them. If she writes about her looks in her private journal then, or simply do an inner monologue about them, it’s gonna sound something like this: “Oh I how I hate my weird squinty eyes… I wish I had big beautiful dove eyes, like my best friend X, not these narrow squinty ones… And I hate this weird thing my upper lip makes whenever I open my mouth, looks like I’m almost hare-lipped the way it sort of slides up… And I have tons of blackheads that looks totally gross whenever I don’t wear makeup, and I have tons of cellulites” AND SO ON. The point is, if someone who’s totally insecure about her looks describe herself, you can’t deduce from the description that the person is ACTUALLY smoking hot.
So if someone writes a book in the first person about a woman looking like Megan Fox who’s insecure about her looks they’re gonna write something ridiculous like “I’m way too slim, and my boobs are too large compared to the rest of my body. My gaze is just too intense, people think I’m staring at them, and my lashes are unnaturally long”.

Karalora
Karalora
11 years ago

I think there’s also a devaluing of women’s effort going on…for women to be beautiful is of VITAL IMPORTANCE, but if we acknowledged that women had to WORK to look that way, then we’d have to admit that SOMETHING WOMEN DO ADDS IMMENSE VALUE TO THE WORLD, and we can’t have that! Therefore, we have to pretend that “real” beauty is effortless. It’s just there–a natural resource!

It reminds me of the time I challenged social conservatives on a discussion forum by pointing out the contradiction between demanding that all women bear and care for children, and refusing the notion that they should get some kind of salary for doing it. “Is it vitally important, or is it valueless? It can’t be both!”

As I recall, they kind of glossed over the point and then changed the subject.

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
11 years ago

Anyone want to help me make a carpet of randomly strewn legos and install it in the building owners homes whilst the building owners are sleeping?

The buildings I run are old and run down. And when we get weekend emergencies the management mysteriously doesn’t get the phone calls to respond in a timely fashion. Essentially, they hope the continuing problems convince people to move. In spite of the fact that these issues have been ongoing for years, but the previous landlords took care of them when they happened. So the only thing changing is that the new owners don’t give a shit that peoples homes are being rendered unliveable for entire weekends at a time. That, and some of these tenants can’t afford to move, or can’t find another place to take them.

Between the lack of concern over peoples living conditions, and the fact that they started issuing late payment notices to people who are in fact up to date on their rents, I am not having a good time this month. I do not like seeing people treated this way and I don’t understand why the owners haven’t just issued the goddamn vacate notices if they want us all out anyways.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@pillowinhell

Internet hugs if you want them 🙁 Those guys sound like asshats.

Historophilia
Historophilia
11 years ago

Fade, about Kendo. We do Kata, but they are a very small part of Kendo, we use them to train control of the sword, footwork, stance, posture and balance and fighting spirit.

They look like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-75N3w9hyjM&list=UUuEFJrxMVIzIix3QVD5mkUA&index=17

Except they are not done with iato (proper swords) as here, they are done with bokken like this: http://www.battleorders.co.uk/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/600×600/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/r/e/red_oak_bokken_4b44af4df39df.jpg

That is the genteel part of kendo, the rest of it can be largely summed up as screaming loudly at people and then hitting them with a stick while wearing hot, heavy armour.

This is what kendo looks like in practice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9PBLhaYodY&list=UUuEFJrxMVIzIix3QVD5mkUA&index=13

It is a very physical sport, as you can see, the armour weighs a tonne and ends up reeking of sweat because you can’t wash it, you get calluses on your left hand like woah and your feet are torn to pieces because you slde along the floor and then basically stamp as you cut.

But it is the most incredible thing ever and impossible to describe why it is so amazing.

However I am not sure it would be suitable for you.

What I would suggest is Iaido, which is a related martial art which is the art of drawing, cutting and replacing the sword. It isn’t a combat sport and does focus a lot on posture, balance, focus and precise movements.

This is what it looks like (though I don’t practice it so I have no idea if this guy is any good or not!)

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
11 years ago

Why do MRA’s care about erin pizzey? Because she validates their opinions and she becomes the stick that they use to bludgeon other women with. Also, a woman who supports a non feminist point of view may be listened to more by other women who haven’t been exposed to feminist research and thinking. And that’s a lot of women, by far the majority.

Fade
11 years ago

@Historophilia

My thoughts when watching the kata video: You know, this doesn’t look so bad. It probably wouldn’t kill my knees (except the bending down things where they draw their swords thsoe looked super painful).

My thoughts upon hearing it involves getting hit with sticks: AAAAH, backtrack, backtrack!

I don’t even deal well with being patted on the back too hard. I can spar occasionally, but when I do it normally knocks me out for the rest of the day/week.

So yes, I do not think it would be for me.

What I would suggest is Iaido, which is a related martial art which is the art of drawing, cutting and replacing the sword. It isn’t a combat sport and does focus a lot on posture, balance, focus and precise movements.

Interesting. Havent heard of that one before.

Aaliyah
11 years ago

Makes sense, pillowinhell. All I remember about Prizzey are her saying that most abused women like being abused and her assertion that she was sent death threats from feminists for “daring to speak out.” Was she known for saying anything else reprehensible?

CassandraSays
11 years ago

And one thing my Mother pointed out to me is that looking younger for your age as a middle aged woman as advantages in the work place. Older women often have it tough, particularly when job hunting and are often dismissed and ignored, usually by younger men, so looking less obviously “old” does help a bit.

Yeah, I have mixed feelings about this too. All of the industries I’ve worked in favor the young, so the fact that I look younger than my age is useful in a practical sense, and the way I tend to dress reinforces it, which isn’t a deliberate decision, that’s just how I like to dress. At the same time it’s ridiculous for that to be the case, because refusing to hire people with tons of experience just because they have wrinkles and/or don’t dress in a hip way isn’t a smart business move, and also it’s obvious how sexist a way this plays out in (men who’re older are at a disadvantage too, just not as much of one). So basically I compromise by telling people exactly how old I am when I can tell that they’re assuming I’m younger, in the hopes that it might challenge some of their ideas about what it means to be a woman my age.

If I was in a dojo where someone started pontificating about bras not being part of the uniform I’d demand a panty check for all the men, starting with the dude doing the pontificating. What a ridiculous bunch of nonsense, especially since he objected to no-bra too. I guess he felt like saying “boobs are not part of the uniform” would be too obvious.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@cassandrasays

If I was in a dojo where someone started pontificating about bras not being part of the uniform I’d demand a panty check for all the men, starting with the dude doing the pontificating. What a ridiculous bunch of nonsense, especially since he objected to no-bra too

Just to clarify, it wasn’t our dojo, it was our one of our instructers’ teacher where they trained. /getting defensive ::Blushes::

CassandraSays
11 years ago

That’s good, but I’m just wondering what that dojo was like in general. I’ve done martial arts, and I can’t imagine any of my instructors bringing up the underwear choices of students unless they absolutely had to, and if so they’d have been embarrassed about it.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@cassandrasays

No idea what it was like. ::shrugs:: Doesn’t sound like a nice place to be, that’s for sure.

Fade
11 years ago

@CassandraSays

yeah, the guy who was recounting the story made it sound like he was just adhering too much to tradition and it didn’t make sense to exclude half your customers, but I wanted to be like “Um, no! How many people wear knee braces when they practice? Did he go around checking those? Because if not he is a sexist hypocrite!”

Well, either way he’s sexist.

Sadly, I did not say anytihng.

historophilia
historophilia
11 years ago

If a panty check was demanded at my dojo things could get awkward as I know for a fact that our Sensei wears nothing under his Gi and Hakama…

My fellow Kendoka who are dudes have been traumatised in the mens changing rooms on several occasions.

CassandraSays
11 years ago

But if it was about tradition, well, there are women who do kendo in Japan. I’m fairly sure their teachers don’t investigate their undies for uniform compliance.

Sexists will make up all kinds of absurd shit to justify themselves.

CassandraSays
11 years ago

Seriously, it was awkward enough having a kung fu instructor who’d put one hand on your abdomen, the other on your upper back, and physically move you into the correct position. While you were supposed to be performing standing meditation.

Fade
11 years ago

This wasn’t kendo, it was karate. I don’t know enough to know how many women/men did karate earlier, though, so there is a huge possibility certainty he was making shit up.

That same guy (our teacher’s teacher) is going to be at the dojo next saturday. I honestly am debating playing hookie, because everyone will be super polite and all I know is I don’t know if I could bow to him if he bowed to me.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@fade

I’m playing hookie for sure.

TomBcat
TomBcat
11 years ago

Too tired to read all the new comments, so only this
@Ally, thanks, if you really don’t mind me calling you that.
For some reason I just can’t get the hang of the whole name.

Anyway, since I need to sleep, I want to offer a catshake in case someone needs it. Good night! It’s finally spring, so have a wonderful time in the cyber garden!

TomBcat
TomBcat
11 years ago

Oh, dammit, what’s up with these links that don’t want to be linked?

http://themetapicture.com/media/funny-cat-kitten-cup-ice-cream.jpg

Aaliyah
11 years ago

@Ally, thanks, if you really don’t mind me calling you that.
For some reason I just can’t get the hang of the whole name.

I’m totally okay with it. And I think it’s hard for people to remember because it has so many ‘a’s in it.

cloudiah
11 years ago

pillowinhell, that sucks. Some landlords…

The other reason they love Erin Pizzey is that she makes shit up about the feminist movement that validate their beliefs. She talks about feminist marches filled with banners reading “All Men are Rapists” and where women in relationships with men were accused of “sleeping with the enemy.” Not that it was a broad movement with some people saying these things, but pretending that this was the mainstream feminist position. She tells them that all feminists are rich, privileged white women, and all men are honest suffering hardworking angels. When she admitted she didn’t know who shot her dog, that was probably the only honest thing she said during the whole AMA.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

OMG this thread has exploded! Echoing cloudiah, I’m not sure I’m answering in the right one, but I was thinking about what Fade said about that woman who’s all “be ladylike” and “keep your knees together” and so on.

I’d love to ask her if she tells guys to be gentlemanly. Does she tell ’em not to wear trousers that hang off their pubes and put their butt cracks on display? Does she tell ’em to put their knees together (or at least not half a mile wide) when they’re sitting down? That at least would be useful, since guys are the main offenders that way with public seating.

I daresay telling a dude what to do isn’t ladylike, though.

melody
melody
11 years ago

Ah. Playing catch up on comments seems impossible some days.

It reminds me of the time I challenged social conservatives on a discussion forum by pointing out the contradiction between demanding that all women bear and care for children, and refusing the notion that they should get some kind of salary for doing it. “Is it vitally important, or is it valueless? It can’t be both!”

I sat in on a feminist economics lecture where they looked at all the things women are expect to do for free and gave a numerical value to it. Then looked at how modern economics looks at those women and devalues them. It was interesting.

@pillowinhell That sounds awful. Do they have any legal recourse?

Fade
11 years ago

@Kittehserf

She’s kind of complicated, like… most people are. I’m guessing if a guy told him what to do she’d tell him to get lost, but she’s perfectly happy spitting internalized misogyny out on us… so I don’t got a clue.