We were talking the other day about an especially popular Manosphere fairy tale — you know, the one in which evil women in their “prime” years in their twenties have lots of sex with charming assholes (and none with hard-working decent nice guys), only to panic when they hit the age of thirty or so and suddenly become ugly monsters.
Well, apparently the evil women have come up with a technical solution to that whole “getting old and ugly” problem. I have uncovered secret evidence in the form of a pamphlet or leaflet that the women of the world evidently circulate amongst themselves.
Very clever of these sneaky women to call this magical age-defying balm “Toilet Soap,” to make us men think it’s a product only used for cleaning toilets, which is something women apparently do on a regular basis. But no, they put this so-called “Toilet Soap” on their faces!
I have been unable to find any of this “Lux Toilet Soap” at the local grocery store. So I’ve been trying out other toilet cleaners to see if they have the same age-retarding effects. So far I have had little luck. The Clorox Toilet Wand is harsh and awkward to use. Lime-A-Way Toilet Bowl Cleaner gave me a rash. The less said about my experience with the Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Cleaning Gel, the better. I have not yet tried Lysol’s Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner, as I am pretty sure Lysol is intended only for vaginas.
Also, fellas, I don’t want to alarm you, but I have been doing reasearch on yet another way women try to trick us into thinking that they’re hotter than they really are. It’s apparently called “make-up.” I will fill you in on the details as I learn more about it.
Remember “toilet” has a wider meaning than just the dunny. Toiletries, attending to one’s toilette, a toilet table – narrowing the term is a more recent thing. All those paintings of “a lady at her toilet” did not show women taking a dump. 😉
This reminds me of a quote from Swedish stylist Jean-Pierre Barda… His best advice for looking young was “Lie about your age – tell people you’re about ten years OLDER than you actually are. Everyone’s gonna think you look amazingly young for your age! I call it the budget face-lift!”.
Kitteh — I’m a bit young to make the connection I guess? Whatever, at least it means more like vanity soap…which still sounds bad in MRAland huh?
Could be, or the term could have fallen out of use earlier in the US, or I could be thinking as much from history reading as anything else! But a few people seemed to miss the connection, so I’d go for option 2. 🙂
Toiletries are a thing here, but are similar to my “ie on the bathroom sink” question. They’re things used in the bathroom, and thus near the toilet. Only house I’ve ever been in that had room for even a real bathroom counter was my ex-fiance’s parents’ — 4 bed 2.5 bath and holy shit fancy.
And, much to MRA irony, she got it in the divorce, was suppose to sell it, never did, could’ve made a quarter million, cape cod split level dual driveway house? Place was gorgeous. Was, as in it built down. She screwed herself out of a great deal of money by trying to screw her husband. In other words MRAs, wtf divorcees get on paper, and in practice? Not the same, and definitely doesn’t always work out in favor of the woman!
Sorry for the tangent, I’m sleepy and bathrooms here aren’t big enough for toilet/dressing/vanity tables unless you have way too much money. And even then they seem to be in the bedroom now (or the lady of the house has her own dressing room, as in a walk in closet with dressing table etc…I really hope that only exists in magazines because seriously? Your closet is bigger than most apartments!)
Meep, I babble. Going to bed, unless y’all want to divert this into interior design, just ignore me! 🙂
Niters, Argenti! 🙂 I’m always happy to divert but you should get some sleep, it’s late enough over there.
Since this seems like one of those semi-OT posts, If anyone has 2 1/2 hours to kill (or are like me who drafts well into the evening and listens to podcasts in the background anyways) can we discuss this?
You don’t even have to get that far into it to be bothered by some of the stuff he talks about.
The backstory is that GWW and some other MRA asked for feminists from Edmonton to debate them (why they had to be from Edmonton when the debates are taking place on youtube? I dunno, maybe to narrow the pool in hopes of weeding out the best voices??) on whether or not Feminism is hate. There are a ton of videos about it and it is gonna take me a long time to listen to it all (haven’t even been able to digest this one in it’s entirety).
But what is odd is this guy is an MRA, he’s written a pretty sketchy article for AVFM, that, while it makes a point that it’s not ok to have sex with anyone who is drunk, regardless of gender (as a rebuttal to someone mentioning that you shouldn’t have sex with a drunk woman specifically), it makes a lot of awful claims, including that there are more false accusations than actual rapes…. Ohhh boy.
http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/false-rape-culture/ignore-gender-denounce-rape-defend-all-victims/
I just, why is this man, of all men, coming forward to debate in our favor and sprinkling in all sorts of negative anecdata about women into his argument?
Again, you don’t have to get that far into to already hear some problematic shit. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to sit through the entire thing yet. I’ve been listening in small doses.
Oh, and on the subject of podcasts, anyone know of some awesome women with podcasts? They don’t necessarily have to be feminist podcasts, but if the hosts happen to be feminists that’s awesome. They can be feminist podcasts too. I already listen to bitch media stuff here and there. I just want more variety where I’m moving into finals and I’m gonna be attached to my computer drafting and photoshopping for the next three weeks straight probably.
Sorry, Jessay, even if I had the time I wouldn’t listen to an MRA spouting, any more than I go to their sites. Too damn toxic.
I find Stuff Mom Never Told You to be pretty awesome.
Does fake blood and children’s facepaint count as make-up? It’s all I own. I use it a few times a year to make myself look like a rotting, walking corpse. Am I doing it wrong?
Would the MRA folks approve of this sort of behavior, or would it be considered equally deceitful and wrong or what?
Not that I actually care, since I do what I want with my appearance solely for my own amusement. Which apparently is the worst crime of them all.
As I understand it (and don’t quote me on this) the vanity/toilet table wasn’t actually in a bathroom. In my grandmother’s house, it was just in the bedroom. This probably comes from the grand old tradition of … not having plumbing in the house. (It’s also called a “dressing table,” which might better convey the meaning to more modern folk.)
In the toilet category, we also still have “toilet water” or “eau de toilette,” which is kind of like perfume. Good god I remember being confused as a kid to read of someone having “toilet water” in a bottle. And there was no google back then.
As for ages, sometimes I consider lying about my age in the other direction. I already get the shock and amazement that I’m just about 30. Why not say I’m 40 and really blow some minds?
We also use mischeavious substances called deodorant and perfume to deceive men into believing we naturally smell like the woods or the garden or the sea or the spice section at the local farmer’s market. But if men prefered women to stop masquarading our body odour and sweat from them, this can be arranged. Just say the word and we will let our BO roam freely up their nose.
You’re right, chocomintlipwax, the vanity table/dressing table/toilet table is bedroom furniture. My mum’s bedroom suite has a chest of drawers and a dressing table – big mirror on top and four drawers, though you could never sit at it properly, it’s way too low.
“I am 29..” (Esther Ralston and Anita Stewart)
Oh look, Lux women appropriating the MRA two dot ellipsis… MISANDRY!
What’s interesting is that the two ladies could not have been 29 at the same time. One was born in 1902 and the other in 1895. Which I guess is an even better argument for Lux, if the one fibbing about her age is the older one.
Ooops, someone already posted the age discrepancy. So, here’s a tidbit on 1930s makeup. http://www.return2style.de/swingstyle/makeup/30amimup.html
http://9gag.com/gag/7078281 I lolled. Shame about the levels of mra love in the comments though.
Maybe they mean they are at least 29, and according to MRAs, true women who aren’t riding any carousels in their free time apparently stop aging at some point anyway.
Also, what perfume can make me smell like the sea, I so want that!
The difference between perfume and eau de toilette is just how much perfume oil is in the water, and therefor the price. I think it goes perfume oil – perfume – eau de toilette – eau de cologne.
My mum had a huge sink in her room next to the dressing table. Is that a thing? I don’t know, my family is kind of middle class rich and actually does have walk-in closets (though still smaller than my tiny apartment).
OH SHIT I recently turned 29. Ladies, help me find some of this toilet soap before the decay sets in!
@cassandrasays
It results in razor thin eyebrows! No! I love my eyebrows, none shall touch them!!!!!!eleven!
(also, ot, my dad’s fiance once tried to convince me that every
onewoman got their eyebrows did, which was rather awkward. She said my mom probably did to, which resulted in me asking her, since I was already pretty sure she didn’t but man it was weird.)@kittehs
Wow, she’s actually really cute in that picture (totally biased opinion!) 😀 Looks a lot different from the one at the top of the article.
@quantumscale
Yeah, last night I got a make-up tutorial from my dad’s fiance, and she was telling me about foundation, and I was like ‘but why would I like that’? though she did teach me how to put on eyeshadow, which was nice, and also helped me find some lipstick that didn’t look horrible on me. And she got me a make up kit, which was really really nice*. Anyway /rambles, but I am now make up-ified,and can convince men my lips are different colors XD I feel bad cuz I kinda whine about her a lot here, but she’s totally cool 95% of the time, it’s just the 5% I whine about.
*she’d heard me talk about wanting to try to do make up before, so it wasn’t random
@viscaria
🙁 I’m lucky in that I’ve only gotten make up advice I actually asked for.
@aaliyah
Good luck + internet hugs if wanted.
@hellkell
totally OT, but is it okay if I call my sister sissie, since I use it short for sister? (I’ve already asked her)
/sorry for making everything about me.
@whatever
But I get all sweaty and sticky w/o deoderent 🙁
I really, really don’t like the really thin eyebrows look, I love thick, strong brows, I think everyone looks better with thick eyebrows.
One of the reasons Ingrid Bergman is my favorite black and white movie star is because she refused point blank to let them pluck her eyebrows thin as was the norm for actresses. And she was regarded as one of the most beautiful women in hollywood.
I have strong dark eyebrows courtesy of my Greek genes with quite a defined angular arch and I really like them. I pluck them, but only to keep the edge neat and defined and to exaggerate the arch a bit (and also to prevent the beginnings of a uni-brow, darned Mediterraneans hairiness!).
As to looking younger than you are, I am hoping that my Mother’s good genes are passed down to me, as she is in her mid 50s and has the skin of someone in their early 40’s.
She did however pass on certain tips for keeping good skin when you’re older:
1) Give your face breaks from make up as often as possible
2) Invest in the best foundation you can afford, avoid cheap stuff like the plague
3) Be religious about removing it before bed
4) Always moisturise, even if it feels like you skin doesn’t need it, and do it morning and night
5) Always moisturise your neck
6) Use suncream or something with spf in it
7) Don’t use normal sun cream on your face, buy something specially for the face
8) Drink lots of water
She also warned me at a very early age to be careful about your shoes, particularly when your feet are still growing. Don’t wear heels every day or to work, and don’t wear shoes that don’t fit properly when you are young. She learnt the hard way and has terrible bunions now.
And in other news, dragon!: http://theplaceinsidetheblizzard.tumblr.com/post/47953677252/thats-khaleesi-to-you
Okay, I’m sorry for randomly dumping this here, but I really can’t think of a place to talk about it.
There’s this one woman I talk with who was going on the importance of being ladylike, and how you should wear a slip and sit with your knees together when you have a skirt, and pick things up in a skirt in the right way so people can’t see your underwear to protect your modesty, and it just rubbed me the wrong way but I can’t figure out why.
@Historophilia
I have greek blood too! I remember hating how “hairy” (In quotes because i now realize it’s not actually that hairy) my face was when I was younger. But now, I have affection even for my ladymustache.
Manosphere – I present the woman who knows how to fulfill all your deepest fantasies about this…
http://youtu.be/_kIUPU1I_3o
Are you man enough…?
@Fade
Probably slut shaming. Though I was just trying to point out I didn’t care if I was “lady like” but I don’t think she got it.