Categories
alpha asshole cock carousel evil sexy ladies misogyny the olden days

Toilet Soap: How evil women trick men into thinking they’re not old hags

sneakyladies

We were talking the other day about an especially popular Manosphere fairy tale — you know, the one in which evil women in their “prime” years in their twenties have lots of sex with charming assholes (and none with hard-working decent nice guys), only to panic when they hit the age of thirty or so and suddenly become ugly monsters.

Well, apparently the evil women have come up with a technical solution to that whole “getting old and ugly” problem. I have uncovered secret evidence in the form of a pamphlet or leaflet that the women of the world evidently circulate amongst themselves.

7e235bcd6696a0c03f58aacd471cf904

Very clever of these sneaky women to call this magical age-defying balm “Toilet Soap,” to make us men think it’s a product only used for cleaning toilets, which is something women apparently do on a regular basis. But no, they put this so-called “Toilet Soap” on their faces!

I have been unable to find any of this “Lux Toilet Soap” at the local grocery store. So I’ve been trying out other toilet cleaners to see if they have the same age-retarding effects. So far I have had little luck. The Clorox Toilet Wand is harsh and awkward to use. Lime-A-Way Toilet Bowl Cleaner gave me a rash. The less said about my experience with the Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Cleaning Gel, the better. I have not yet tried Lysol’s Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner, as I am pretty sure Lysol is intended only for vaginas.

Also, fellas, I don’t want to alarm you, but I have been doing reasearch on yet another way women try to trick us into thinking that they’re hotter than they really are. It’s apparently called “make-up.” I will fill you in on the details as I learn more about it.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

213 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Kittehserf
7 years ago

Remember “toilet” has a wider meaning than just the dunny. Toiletries, attending to one’s toilette, a toilet table – narrowing the term is a more recent thing. All those paintings of “a lady at her toilet” did not show women taking a dump. 😉

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

This reminds me of a quote from Swedish stylist Jean-Pierre Barda… His best advice for looking young was “Lie about your age – tell people you’re about ten years OLDER than you actually are. Everyone’s gonna think you look amazingly young for your age! I call it the budget face-lift!”.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Kitteh — I’m a bit young to make the connection I guess? Whatever, at least it means more like vanity soap…which still sounds bad in MRAland huh?

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Could be, or the term could have fallen out of use earlier in the US, or I could be thinking as much from history reading as anything else! But a few people seemed to miss the connection, so I’d go for option 2. 🙂

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Toiletries are a thing here, but are similar to my “ie on the bathroom sink” question. They’re things used in the bathroom, and thus near the toilet. Only house I’ve ever been in that had room for even a real bathroom counter was my ex-fiance’s parents’ — 4 bed 2.5 bath and holy shit fancy.

And, much to MRA irony, she got it in the divorce, was suppose to sell it, never did, could’ve made a quarter million, cape cod split level dual driveway house? Place was gorgeous. Was, as in it built down. She screwed herself out of a great deal of money by trying to screw her husband. In other words MRAs, wtf divorcees get on paper, and in practice? Not the same, and definitely doesn’t always work out in favor of the woman!

Sorry for the tangent, I’m sleepy and bathrooms here aren’t big enough for toilet/dressing/vanity tables unless you have way too much money. And even then they seem to be in the bedroom now (or the lady of the house has her own dressing room, as in a walk in closet with dressing table etc…I really hope that only exists in magazines because seriously? Your closet is bigger than most apartments!)

Meep, I babble. Going to bed, unless y’all want to divert this into interior design, just ignore me! 🙂

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Niters, Argenti! 🙂 I’m always happy to divert but you should get some sleep, it’s late enough over there.

Jessay (@jessay)
7 years ago

Since this seems like one of those semi-OT posts, If anyone has 2 1/2 hours to kill (or are like me who drafts well into the evening and listens to podcasts in the background anyways) can we discuss this?

You don’t even have to get that far into it to be bothered by some of the stuff he talks about.

The backstory is that GWW and some other MRA asked for feminists from Edmonton to debate them (why they had to be from Edmonton when the debates are taking place on youtube? I dunno, maybe to narrow the pool in hopes of weeding out the best voices??) on whether or not Feminism is hate. There are a ton of videos about it and it is gonna take me a long time to listen to it all (haven’t even been able to digest this one in it’s entirety).

But what is odd is this guy is an MRA, he’s written a pretty sketchy article for AVFM, that, while it makes a point that it’s not ok to have sex with anyone who is drunk, regardless of gender (as a rebuttal to someone mentioning that you shouldn’t have sex with a drunk woman specifically), it makes a lot of awful claims, including that there are more false accusations than actual rapes…. Ohhh boy.

http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/false-rape-culture/ignore-gender-denounce-rape-defend-all-victims/

I just, why is this man, of all men, coming forward to debate in our favor and sprinkling in all sorts of negative anecdata about women into his argument?

Again, you don’t have to get that far into to already hear some problematic shit. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to sit through the entire thing yet. I’ve been listening in small doses.

Jessay (@jessay)
7 years ago

Oh, and on the subject of podcasts, anyone know of some awesome women with podcasts? They don’t necessarily have to be feminist podcasts, but if the hosts happen to be feminists that’s awesome. They can be feminist podcasts too. I already listen to bitch media stuff here and there. I just want more variety where I’m moving into finals and I’m gonna be attached to my computer drafting and photoshopping for the next three weeks straight probably.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Sorry, Jessay, even if I had the time I wouldn’t listen to an MRA spouting, any more than I go to their sites. Too damn toxic.

melody
melody
7 years ago

I find Stuff Mom Never Told You to be pretty awesome.

Catfish
Catfish
7 years ago

Does fake blood and children’s facepaint count as make-up? It’s all I own. I use it a few times a year to make myself look like a rotting, walking corpse. Am I doing it wrong?

Would the MRA folks approve of this sort of behavior, or would it be considered equally deceitful and wrong or what?

Not that I actually care, since I do what I want with my appearance solely for my own amusement. Which apparently is the worst crime of them all.

chocomintlipwax
7 years ago

As I understand it (and don’t quote me on this) the vanity/toilet table wasn’t actually in a bathroom. In my grandmother’s house, it was just in the bedroom. This probably comes from the grand old tradition of … not having plumbing in the house. (It’s also called a “dressing table,” which might better convey the meaning to more modern folk.)

In the toilet category, we also still have “toilet water” or “eau de toilette,” which is kind of like perfume. Good god I remember being confused as a kid to read of someone having “toilet water” in a bottle. And there was no google back then.

As for ages, sometimes I consider lying about my age in the other direction. I already get the shock and amazement that I’m just about 30. Why not say I’m 40 and really blow some minds?

Whatever
Whatever
7 years ago

We also use mischeavious substances called deodorant and perfume to deceive men into believing we naturally smell like the woods or the garden or the sea or the spice section at the local farmer’s market. But if men prefered women to stop masquarading our body odour and sweat from them, this can be arranged. Just say the word and we will let our BO roam freely up their nose.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

You’re right, chocomintlipwax, the vanity table/dressing table/toilet table is bedroom furniture. My mum’s bedroom suite has a chest of drawers and a dressing table – big mirror on top and four drawers, though you could never sit at it properly, it’s way too low.

Xanthë
7 years ago

“I am 29..” (Esther Ralston and Anita Stewart)

Oh look, Lux women appropriating the MRA two dot ellipsis… MISANDRY!

scarlettpipistrelle
7 years ago

What’s interesting is that the two ladies could not have been 29 at the same time. One was born in 1902 and the other in 1895. Which I guess is an even better argument for Lux, if the one fibbing about her age is the older one.

scarlettpipstrelle
7 years ago

Ooops, someone already posted the age discrepancy. So, here’s a tidbit on 1930s makeup. http://www.return2style.de/swingstyle/makeup/30amimup.html

Motty
Motty
7 years ago

http://9gag.com/gag/7078281 I lolled. Shame about the levels of mra love in the comments though.

TomBcat
7 years ago

Maybe they mean they are at least 29, and according to MRAs, true women who aren’t riding any carousels in their free time apparently stop aging at some point anyway.

Also, what perfume can make me smell like the sea, I so want that!
The difference between perfume and eau de toilette is just how much perfume oil is in the water, and therefor the price. I think it goes perfume oil – perfume – eau de toilette – eau de cologne.
My mum had a huge sink in her room next to the dressing table. Is that a thing? I don’t know, my family is kind of middle class rich and actually does have walk-in closets (though still smaller than my tiny apartment).

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
7 years ago

OH SHIT I recently turned 29. Ladies, help me find some of this toilet soap before the decay sets in!

Marie
7 years ago

@cassandrasays

Sorry, but I am unwilling to use the toilet soap (despite it’s man-deceiving potential) if it’s going to result in razor-thin eyebrows.

It results in razor thin eyebrows! No! I love my eyebrows, none shall touch them!!!!!!eleven!
(also, ot, my dad’s fiance once tried to convince me that everyone woman got their eyebrows did, which was rather awkward. She said my mom probably did to, which resulted in me asking her, since I was already pretty sure she didn’t but man it was weird.)

@kittehs

It’s interesting looking at other pics of Anita Stewart – and rather a relief, since her eyebrows are a bit more convincing!

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_CLu8_jFPNZ4/SbPUfs4bmEI/AAAAAAAAD88/WwbsFa6QXB4/s400/anita+stewart.jpg

Wow, she’s actually really cute in that picture (totally biased opinion!) 😀 Looks a lot different from the one at the top of the article.

@quantumscale

Makeup still seems so weird to me: “My face is not all one uniform shade! I will smear powder on it until that is no longer the case! And then I will outline my eyes because they are not outline-y enough!”

Yeah, last night I got a make-up tutorial from my dad’s fiance, and she was telling me about foundation, and I was like ‘but why would I like that’? though she did teach me how to put on eyeshadow, which was nice, and also helped me find some lipstick that didn’t look horrible on me. And she got me a make up kit, which was really really nice*. Anyway /rambles, but I am now make up-ified,and can convince men my lips are different colors XD I feel bad cuz I kinda whine about her a lot here, but she’s totally cool 95% of the time, it’s just the 5% I whine about.

*she’d heard me talk about wanting to try to do make up before, so it wasn’t random

@viscaria

I’ve received an awful lot of unsolicited advice about make up in my days! People really do have a lot of feelings about what women put on their faces. And on their bodies. And in their bodies.

🙁 I’m lucky in that I’ve only gotten make up advice I actually asked for.

@aaliyah

Also, speaking of fashion, I’m currently dreaming of the day I get myself a long black hair wig and a white dress. I am tomboyish, but the thought of presenting that way is exciting. Hopefully I’ll do it within the next few weeks as I’m sick of not even being able to present as female.

Good luck + internet hugs if wanted.

@hellkell

How does one “role” in the dirt? And “sissies?” Not cool.

totally OT, but is it okay if I call my sister sissie, since I use it short for sister? (I’ve already asked her)

/sorry for making everything about me.

@whatever

We also use mischeavious substances called deodorant and perfume to deceive men into believing we naturally smell like the woods or the garden or the sea or the spice section at the local farmer’s market. But if men prefered women to stop masquarading our body odour and sweat from them, this can be arranged. Just say the word and we will let our BO roam freely up their nose.

But I get all sweaty and sticky w/o deoderent 🙁

Historophilia
Historophilia
7 years ago

I really, really don’t like the really thin eyebrows look, I love thick, strong brows, I think everyone looks better with thick eyebrows.

One of the reasons Ingrid Bergman is my favorite black and white movie star is because she refused point blank to let them pluck her eyebrows thin as was the norm for actresses. And she was regarded as one of the most beautiful women in hollywood.

I have strong dark eyebrows courtesy of my Greek genes with quite a defined angular arch and I really like them. I pluck them, but only to keep the edge neat and defined and to exaggerate the arch a bit (and also to prevent the beginnings of a uni-brow, darned Mediterraneans hairiness!).

As to looking younger than you are, I am hoping that my Mother’s good genes are passed down to me, as she is in her mid 50s and has the skin of someone in their early 40’s.

She did however pass on certain tips for keeping good skin when you’re older:

1) Give your face breaks from make up as often as possible
2) Invest in the best foundation you can afford, avoid cheap stuff like the plague
3) Be religious about removing it before bed
4) Always moisturise, even if it feels like you skin doesn’t need it, and do it morning and night
5) Always moisturise your neck
6) Use suncream or something with spf in it
7) Don’t use normal sun cream on your face, buy something specially for the face
8) Drink lots of water

She also warned me at a very early age to be careful about your shoes, particularly when your feet are still growing. Don’t wear heels every day or to work, and don’t wear shoes that don’t fit properly when you are young. She learnt the hard way and has terrible bunions now.

And in other news, dragon!: http://theplaceinsidetheblizzard.tumblr.com/post/47953677252/thats-khaleesi-to-you

Fade
7 years ago

Okay, I’m sorry for randomly dumping this here, but I really can’t think of a place to talk about it.

There’s this one woman I talk with who was going on the importance of being ladylike, and how you should wear a slip and sit with your knees together when you have a skirt, and pick things up in a skirt in the right way so people can’t see your underwear to protect your modesty, and it just rubbed me the wrong way but I can’t figure out why.

@Historophilia

I have greek blood too! I remember hating how “hairy” (In quotes because i now realize it’s not actually that hairy) my face was when I was younger. But now, I have affection even for my ladymustache.

jennydevildoll
7 years ago

Manosphere – I present the woman who knows how to fulfill all your deepest fantasies about this…

http://youtu.be/_kIUPU1I_3o

Are you man enough…?

Marie
7 years ago

@Fade

Probably slut shaming. Though I was just trying to point out I didn’t care if I was “lady like” but I don’t think she got it.

TomBcat
7 years ago

@Fade
Don’t know if that helps, but it would bother me because I have better things to think about than how to move and act when I’m wearing skirts, like the worst thing that could happen would be if someone could see my underwear. It makes it sound like you have to be constantly uncomfortable just to look good in a skirt at all times.
It’s another small way of saying ‘a lady doesn’t have to be happy, she has to be pleasant at all times for everyone’.

There’s so many, sometimes contradicting things women are supposed to do to look good.
Have to say, that’s why a list of face tips bugs me a little, even though these things are nice to know (though I heard the water thing is a myth, it’s just generally healthier to drink water instead of soda). It sounds to me like I have to do this, have to look young, old can’t be pretty.
I know that’s rarely the intention, but the combination of that and general beauty standards often makes me feel that if I don’t find the time and money to do all that, I’m some kind of a failure.
I want to get wrinkles someday. I want to look my age, because getting older means more experience, more knowledge, more life lived and I want to be proud of that.

historophilia
historophilia
7 years ago

@Fade, I have a bit of a moustache as well! And hair on the backs of my fingers and on my toes 😛 I used to be really paranoid about it and even used to remove the hair from my hands but I’ve realised that it isn’t actually all that noticeable, and that hand stubble looks even odder!

I draw the line at leaving the hairy toes though, that gets done with a razor in the shower.

I have the disadvantage of having the greek hairiness but I have pale skin so it shows up.

Fade
7 years ago

@TomBcat and Marie

Thanks, I think that helps clarify it a little. Shaming on women who don’t wear skirts like that and acting like what other people see is more important than how you feel.

I mean, I want to wear skirts cuz I think they look nice, but I want to llook nice for me, not random passerbys.

Fade
7 years ago

@Historophilia.

When I used to go outside a lot, I had more olive toned skin, but now that i’ve just spent almost like…. three continuous years inside due to depresion, I’m pale, too.

Marie
7 years ago

@tomBcat

I know that’s rarely the intention, but the combination of that and general beauty standards often makes me feel that if I don’t find the time and money to do all that, I’m some kind of a failure.

You aren’t a failure. And internet hugs if wanted. 🙂

Don’t know if that helps, but it would bother me because I have better things to think about than how to move and act when I’m wearing skirts, like the worst thing that could happen would be if someone could see my underwear.

I know it bugged me (me and fade were both there) because she started it after I said I was trying to find my fashion sense, and I mentioned I want to try cargo pants and some skirts, prompting the thing. It was both unwarranted and also went against what I wanted to do, I didn’t want to wear skirts to look lady like. Idk if that makes sense. So it was unwarranted, not what I wanted, and also kinda slut shamey.

Aaliyah
7 years ago

There’s this one woman I talk with who was going on the importance of being ladylike, and how you should wear a slip and sit with your knees together when you have a skirt, and pick things up in a skirt in the right way so people can’t see your underwear to protect your modesty, and it just rubbed me the wrong way but I can’t figure out why.

In principle, I hate this kind of gender normativity. Telling women that they have to be as modest as possible and never show signs of not being feminine is quite sexist. However, I must say that I think acting ladylike itself can be very enjoyable for someone who has dysphoria like me. I mean, I obviously care about transitioning and going full-time as a woman much more than anything else (especially conforming exactly to gender norms), but acting ladylike can help brighten up my mood, which isn’t very pleasant most of the time. It’s like a guilty pleasure.

Marie
7 years ago

@fade

I have greek blood too! I remember hating how “hairy” (In quotes because i now realize it’s not actually that hairy) my face was when I was younger. But now, I have affection even for my ladymustache.

Dittoing. Though I need to get used to leg hair now (gotten used to my face hair already :D)

@histrophilia

And hair on the backs of my fingers and on my toes 😛

Omg! I have hair on my toes too! Not on my fingers though, or at least not noticable.

Aaliyah
7 years ago

I should add that, if it weren’t for the pervasiveness of gender normativity in society, I probably wouldn’t even see acting ladylike as a guilty pleasure.

Marie
7 years ago

@Aaliyah

However, I must say that I think acting ladylike itself can be very enjoyable for someone who has dysphoria like me.

Sorry. I didn’t mean my stuff (and I’m assuming Fade didn’t mean) as in there’s something wrong with being ladylike, just that the advice was unwarranted, as no one had wanted to know how to be ladylike in a skirt when she started talking about it.

historophilia
historophilia
7 years ago

I see your point TomBcat. Though with the face tips, it’s good for generally keeping your skin healthy and happy, not just to anti-aging or whatever.

I’ve have both very sensitive skin and a tendency to get spots (had them pretty bad from the age of 9 onwards and even now at 20 on the pill I still get a few) and following these rules definitely help.

And one thing my Mother pointed out to me is that looking younger for your age as a middle aged woman as advantages in the work place. Older women often have it tough, particularly when job hunting and are often dismissed and ignored, usually by younger men, so looking less obviously “old” does help a bit.

It’s obviously a bull crap thing that this is the case though, and I don’t like the way that age and experienced is not respected in the West, particularly in women.

Fade
7 years ago

In principle, I hate this kind of gender normativity. Telling women that they have to be as modest as possible and never show signs of not being feminine is quite sexist. However, I must say that I think acting ladylike itself can be very enjoyable for someone who has dysphoria like me. I mean, I obviously care about transitioning and going full-time as a woman much more than anything else (especially conforming exactly to gender norms), but acting ladylike can help brighten up my mood, which isn’t very pleasant most of the time. It’s like a guilty pleasure.

That makes sense. And there’s nothing wrong with acting ladylike, it was just her assumption that it was the default, or something that I should aspire to do when I have never really before acted like I wanted to*

*I was asking her to teach me about make up, because my mom doesn’t know anything about it, but I view makeup/skirts as different than “actions’ in terms of ladylikeness, plus that whole thing where some guys may act in a way that is “ladylike (according to cissexist views)” or want to wear make up, so there’s really no clear line anyway.

Um, anyway, that was a kind of long way to say I think you’re right and I understand you’re wanting to act ladylike. Heck, even if fifth grade I remember internalizing femininity being bad, and it took me so long for me to try to do girly cloths that I thought looked good on me because I thought I’d get made fun of by my dad*, and I’m cis. So I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.

*he’s normally cool, but does not quite yet understand what’s appropriate to joke about.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Anyone want to read some MRA scifi, about resistance to the femen empire?

http://www.backlash.com/content/arj/augment_2047_0414.html

Aaliyah
7 years ago

Sorry. I didn’t mean my stuff (and I’m assuming Fade didn’t mean) as in there’s something wrong with being ladylike, just that the advice was unwarranted, as no one had wanted to know how to be ladylike in a skirt when she started talking about it.

Heh, no need to say sorry. I wasn’t offended by anyone in this thread. And I’d be just as annoyed by unsolicited advice despite what I said earlier about acting ladylike.

Fade
7 years ago

Older women often have it tough, particularly when job hunting and are often dismissed and ignored, usually by younger men, so looking less obviously “old” does help a bit.

Somedays I want to burn down the patriarchy with a can of kerosene and a flame thrower…

historophilia
historophilia
7 years ago

@Fade, hugs if you want them. I’m an olive toned pale (ie. basically I’m pale yellow-ish :P) so we might match!

@Marie, troll toes unite! 😛 my hair is dark but it’s very fine and silky so luckily it doesn’t really show up.

Fade
7 years ago

@Historophilia

I’m not really sad right now, but I am always up for jedi hugs

historophilia
historophilia
7 years ago

@Fade again, yeah it’s a load of rubbish. My mother has passed on loads of good tips about being a woman in the workplace to me, one thing she says is to watch out for shorter men as a taller woman. Apparently they can sometimes see you as more of a threat, particularly if you’re more senior than them.

I hate how Patriarchy poisons every little thing.

Marie
7 years ago

@historophilia

My toe hair is dark and noticable, but for some reason it never bugged me, even when I was younger and had more hate on my body. It was just my face hair.

TomBcat
7 years ago

I was ostracized in school for wearing short skirts a lot, so I have strong opinions about that. If I had done it to please others, I would have stopped it altogether. But I also never quite got why the opinions of those people seemed so wrong to me. I thought I shouldn’t bother other people with the way I look, so they got me to wear and do a a lot of things I hated and didn’t see the point to. One time a friend got sent to the principal for sitting in a ‘salacious(?) manner’, which was basically sitting like the boys did (in jeans, not a skirt even). I’m not at all surprised that you couldn’t find one gay person there. So weird and out of place, given that the area I lived in isn’t exactly very conservative and mostly very open to all kinds of people.
Why am I so rambly today? I sure must think I’m a fascinating person.

Fade
7 years ago

^

Re: sitting

something that’s always bugged me. In Karate, they have the men and women sit in seiza’s, formal sitting positions, which is basicallylike this for women and this for men.

The difference once I realized the woman’s legs being closed was probably for “modesty” made me a little sad.

historophilia
historophilia
7 years ago

@Marie, I was really self concious about my moustache for a while when I was in my early teens after a boy announced loudly that I had one.

But these days I care a lot less about it, I still remove it, but I’m lazy about it.

pecunium
7 years ago

Agenti: Lol read the whole thread once in a while? You got credit!

Hunh… teach me to be checking a new post just before heading off to bed.

(hangs head in shame)

Toiletries are a thing here, but are similar to my “ie on the bathroom sink” question. They’re things used in the bathroom, and thus near the toilet. Only house I’ve ever been in that had room for even a real bathroom counter was my ex-fiance’s parents’ — 4 bed 2.5 bath and holy shit fancy.

The “toilet” is in the “bathroom”, because one’s toilet was the act of putting oneself together, and using the commode/chamber pot was one of those things one wished to do before donning garments of fairly encumbering nature.

The object became the room, and performing one’s toilet remained in the bedroom. Some aspects of the past (e.g. eau de toilette) have lingered.

pecunium
7 years ago

re podcasts Squeecast is very good (confession, two of the members are friends of mine).

They won a Hugo last year, and are up for another this year.

historophilia
historophilia
7 years ago

@Fade, I do Kendo which is another Japanese martial art and men and women sit in seiza the same, with the knees about a fist and a half apart.

We also do sonkyo before we commence fencing, which looks like this: http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee11/Kobudokan/sonkyo.jpg

Apparently traditionally women sonkyo with one knee on the floor, but it’s so rarely done now that I couldn’t even find a google image of it. But the original idea was that it was more modest.

It’s a bullshit idea as men and women wear the same outfit, both in Kendo and Karate.

pecunium
7 years ago

re “29”. I think the age was chosen because of the long standing idea that no woman wants to admit to being 30.