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Toilet Soap: How evil women trick men into thinking they’re not old hags

sneakyladies

We were talking the other day about an especially popular Manosphere fairy tale — you know, the one in which evil women in their “prime” years in their twenties have lots of sex with charming assholes (and none with hard-working decent nice guys), only to panic when they hit the age of thirty or so and suddenly become ugly monsters.

Well, apparently the evil women have come up with a technical solution to that whole “getting old and ugly” problem. I have uncovered secret evidence in the form of a pamphlet or leaflet that the women of the world evidently circulate amongst themselves.

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Very clever of these sneaky women to call this magical age-defying balm “Toilet Soap,” to make us men think it’s a product only used for cleaning toilets, which is something women apparently do on a regular basis. But no, they put this so-called “Toilet Soap” on their faces!

I have been unable to find any of this “Lux Toilet Soap” at the local grocery store. So I’ve been trying out other toilet cleaners to see if they have the same age-retarding effects. So far I have had little luck. The Clorox Toilet Wand is harsh and awkward to use. Lime-A-Way Toilet Bowl Cleaner gave me a rash. The less said about my experience with the Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Cleaning Gel, the better. I have not yet tried Lysol’s Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner, as I am pretty sure Lysol is intended only for vaginas.

Also, fellas, I don’t want to alarm you, but I have been doing reasearch on yet another way women try to trick us into thinking that they’re hotter than they really are. It’s apparently called “make-up.” I will fill you in on the details as I learn more about it.

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Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

I’ve received an awful lot of unsolicited advice about make up in my days! People really do have a lot of feelings about what women put on their faces. And on their bodies. And in their bodies.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

@quantumscale – and sometimes it’s “my cheeks are not red enough, I must put rouge/red lead on them to brighten them”. Depends on the beauty standards of the time, but “you’re wrong and need to be fixed” is pretty much the constant. Not that it’s only ever applied to women, of course; men have worn makeup for millennia, but just not openly in many of those. Hell, there were still leftover Regency dandies sporting rouge in Victorian England – Lord Palmerston (Prime Minister 1855-58 and 1859-65), for example.

Aaliyah
11 years ago

Yo Dave, if you don’t mind my asking, did you send my message to the woman being harassed by MRAs? Just wondering. I won’t be bothered if you didn’t do so.

Aaliyah
11 years ago

Sorry, I mean “Futrelle.” “Dave” might be a little too casual. >_>

Aaliyah
11 years ago

I did send it along. She’s talked to the police.

Thanks! And I’m glad to hear she followed my advice. I hope it helps her in the long run.

cloudiah
11 years ago

I hope the police are helpful. Did you see Paul E had to post something on AVfM telling people not to link to her doxxers? Because clearly he is worried that AVfMers are part of the ravening horde…

thebewilderness
11 years ago

It is good to see that Elam has the capacity to learn from his experience.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

I don’t think PaulE is capable of learning, just covering his sorry ass.

Aaliyah
11 years ago

Also, speaking of fashion, I’m currently dreaming of the day I get myself a long black hair wig and a white dress. I am tomboyish, but the thought of presenting that way is exciting. Hopefully I’ll do it within the next few weeks as I’m sick of not even being able to present as female.

Buntzums
Buntzums
11 years ago

Soap is for sissies. Just go role around in the dirt like I do.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

How does one “role” in the dirt? And “sissies?” Not cool.

CassandraSays
11 years ago

Performing a play in a mud pit?

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Well, I don’t know about a role in the dirt, but I know what a roll in the hay looks like:

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
11 years ago

As a sissy, I agree, make up is for sissys! And for people who don’t identify as sissys!

I love seeing artfully applied make up, I always feel it says a lot about the person wearing it and their style.

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
11 years ago

Gah, I have a comment in moderation because I managed to spell my email wrong.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Performing a play in a mud pit reminds me of that Python skit about the historical recreation group which was just a mud fight with handbags.

Lady Stark
Lady Stark
11 years ago

WTF is with those eyebrows?

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Fashion!

Heheh I just looked up Esther Ralston and Anita Stewart’s bios. Ralston was born in 1902 and Stewart in 1895 … and they’re both 29? Powerful stuff, that Lux.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

No, no, Dave acknowledged you! 🙂

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Lol read the whole thread once in a while? You got credit!

Oh where oh where is WeeBoy’s comment, oh where oh where could it be…

On topic…toilet soap? Please tell me that’s some cutesy name for soap stored near the toilet? Ie, on the bathroom sink.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

And ninja’ed while making jokes! Damnit!