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Toilet Soap: How evil women trick men into thinking they’re not old hags

sneakyladies

We were talking the other day about an especially popular Manosphere fairy tale — you know, the one in which evil women in their “prime” years in their twenties have lots of sex with charming assholes (and none with hard-working decent nice guys), only to panic when they hit the age of thirty or so and suddenly become ugly monsters.

Well, apparently the evil women have come up with a technical solution to that whole “getting old and ugly” problem. I have uncovered secret evidence in the form of a pamphlet or leaflet that the women of the world evidently circulate amongst themselves.

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Very clever of these sneaky women to call this magical age-defying balm “Toilet Soap,” to make us men think it’s a product only used for cleaning toilets, which is something women apparently do on a regular basis. But no, they put this so-called “Toilet Soap” on their faces!

I have been unable to find any of this “Lux Toilet Soap” at the local grocery store. So I’ve been trying out other toilet cleaners to see if they have the same age-retarding effects. So far I have had little luck. The Clorox Toilet Wand is harsh and awkward to use. Lime-A-Way Toilet Bowl Cleaner gave me a rash. The less said about my experience with the Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Cleaning Gel, the better. I have not yet tried Lysol’s Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner, as I am pretty sure Lysol is intended only for vaginas.

Also, fellas, I don’t want to alarm you, but I have been doing reasearch on yet another way women try to trick us into thinking that they’re hotter than they really are. It’s apparently called “make-up.” I will fill you in on the details as I learn more about it.

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thebewilderness
thebewilderness
7 years ago

I would warn that this is off topic if I could figure out what the topic of this post is. You gave me the giggles rilly rilly bad remembering when I was a kid trying to figure out what anyone would want with toilet water.
Socks? These sock puppets are totes pikers compared to this dood.
http://www.the-tls.co.uk/tls/public/article1243205.ece

Marie
7 years ago

David, I will tell you all about make up XD I am using it right now in order to trick men into thinking my eyelids are sparkly, and this will make them want to mate with me for…some reason. I’ll get back to you on that XD

nerdypants
nerdypants
7 years ago

Sparkly eyelids are a sign of evolutionary fitness.

Marie
7 years ago

@nerdypants

I knew it! My monies spent on eyeliner will be well worth having cute sparkly eyelids entrapping men with my babies!

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

What an unfortunately named product. At least in 2013.

TomBcat
7 years ago

I trick men by telling them my actual age.
Since women always lie about their age, telling them how old I really am makes them think I’m 10 years older but look really good for my age, which would mean I stay fresh longer than other women, just like genetically modified food and also I lost my train of thought.

cloudiah
7 years ago

@nerdypants, You made me laugh so loudly the kitties looked alarmed.

@David, I think you need hellkell and CassandraSays to teach you ALL about makeup. XD

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Women always lie about their age?

Worst trick ever.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Me and my inner drag queen Kitty Glitter are always available for makeup tips and tricks.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

If I’ve never heard of her, am I no longer a lady?

Haha, seriously–no idea who she is.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Sorry, but I am unwilling to use the toilet soap (despite it’s man-deceiving potential) if it’s going to result in razor-thin eyebrows.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Cassandra: Word. Stewart’s are especially disconcerting, but it’s neat to see how beauty trends change over time.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Ralston was in a movie called The Victor, in which she played a chewing gum baron’s daughter. That sounds promising.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Random – my MIL used to pluck her eyebrows like that. Apparently if you do it for long enough they stop growing back. I freaked out a little the first time I saw her without make-up.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Friend of mine plucked her eyebrows and drew them in like that, except she never got them even. Very strange look indeed.

Lux used to be for just about everything. I think Lux flakes were used as laundry detergent.

cloudiah
7 years ago

I was looking at a bunch of old movie stills, and boy some beauty trends from other decades do indeed look odd. Also, there were some great movie plots, that I kept wanting to turn into MRM-themed movies. (Given the rampant misogyny in old movies, it wouldn’t take much tweaking.)

Kittehserf
7 years ago

TomBcat – have you ever read Dorothy L Sayers’s Lord Peter Wimsey novels? When you said “I lost my train of thought” I was reminded of the wonderful and highly OT way Peter’s mother, the Dowager Duchess of Denver, talks, to the confusion of all around her. 😀

Kittehserf
7 years ago

It’s interesting looking at other pics of Anita Stewart – and rather a relief, since her eyebrows are a bit more convincing!

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_CLu8_jFPNZ4/SbPUfs4bmEI/AAAAAAAAD88/WwbsFa6QXB4/s400/anita+stewart.jpg

TomBcat
7 years ago

No, I haven’t, though have heard of them. Is that a good read for someone who likes Leonidas Witherall – Adventures or go-to detective stories like Agatha Christie’s?

Kittehserf
7 years ago

I don’t know Leonidas Witherall but I do like detective stories, so yes, I’d recommend Sayers’s books! They’re not long, either, so you won’t end up with a book the size of a brick if you try one and don’t like it. Plus they get better as the series progresses, imo.

TomBcat
7 years ago

Thanks, I’m going to check it out then!
My reading could use some light entertaining with detectives in it anyway. Especially very British ones.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

These are as British as they come – and were written in the 20s and 30s. 🙂

quantumscale
quantumscale
7 years ago

Makeup still seems so weird to me: “My face is not all one uniform shade! I will smear powder on it until that is no longer the case! And then I will outline my eyes because they are not outline-y enough!”

TomBcat
7 years ago

I do get Make Up, but..
As kids we painted our faces to resemble animals. Now whenever someone says how women(or men) should or shouldn’t wear it, for whom they do it or how much of it they should wear, I wish that one day, everyone who ever had to listen to that would just collectively do that. It would be a great ‘I do it because I like it and it’s fun’ statement.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

I’ve received an awful lot of unsolicited advice about make up in my days! People really do have a lot of feelings about what women put on their faces. And on their bodies. And in their bodies.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

@quantumscale – and sometimes it’s “my cheeks are not red enough, I must put rouge/red lead on them to brighten them”. Depends on the beauty standards of the time, but “you’re wrong and need to be fixed” is pretty much the constant. Not that it’s only ever applied to women, of course; men have worn makeup for millennia, but just not openly in many of those. Hell, there were still leftover Regency dandies sporting rouge in Victorian England – Lord Palmerston (Prime Minister 1855-58 and 1859-65), for example.

Aaliyah
7 years ago

Yo Dave, if you don’t mind my asking, did you send my message to the woman being harassed by MRAs? Just wondering. I won’t be bothered if you didn’t do so.

Aaliyah
7 years ago

Sorry, I mean “Futrelle.” “Dave” might be a little too casual. >_>

Aaliyah
7 years ago

I did send it along. She’s talked to the police.

Thanks! And I’m glad to hear she followed my advice. I hope it helps her in the long run.

cloudiah
7 years ago

I hope the police are helpful. Did you see Paul E had to post something on AVfM telling people not to link to her doxxers? Because clearly he is worried that AVfMers are part of the ravening horde…

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
7 years ago

It is good to see that Elam has the capacity to learn from his experience.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

I don’t think PaulE is capable of learning, just covering his sorry ass.

Aaliyah
7 years ago

Also, speaking of fashion, I’m currently dreaming of the day I get myself a long black hair wig and a white dress. I am tomboyish, but the thought of presenting that way is exciting. Hopefully I’ll do it within the next few weeks as I’m sick of not even being able to present as female.

Buntzums
Buntzums
7 years ago

Soap is for sissies. Just go role around in the dirt like I do.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

How does one “role” in the dirt? And “sissies?” Not cool.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Performing a play in a mud pit?

Shiraz
Shiraz
7 years ago

Well, I don’t know about a role in the dirt, but I know what a roll in the hay looks like:

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
7 years ago

As a sissy, I agree, make up is for sissys! And for people who don’t identify as sissys!

I love seeing artfully applied make up, I always feel it says a lot about the person wearing it and their style.

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
7 years ago

Gah, I have a comment in moderation because I managed to spell my email wrong.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Performing a play in a mud pit reminds me of that Python skit about the historical recreation group which was just a mud fight with handbags.

Lady Stark
Lady Stark
7 years ago

WTF is with those eyebrows?

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Fashion!

Heheh I just looked up Esther Ralston and Anita Stewart’s bios. Ralston was born in 1902 and Stewart in 1895 … and they’re both 29? Powerful stuff, that Lux.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

No, no, Dave acknowledged you! 🙂

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Lol read the whole thread once in a while? You got credit!

Oh where oh where is WeeBoy’s comment, oh where oh where could it be…

On topic…toilet soap? Please tell me that’s some cutesy name for soap stored near the toilet? Ie, on the bathroom sink.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

And ninja’ed while making jokes! Damnit!

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