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Toilet Soap: How evil women trick men into thinking they’re not old hags

sneakyladies

We were talking the other day about an especially popular Manosphere fairy tale — you know, the one in which evil women in their “prime” years in their twenties have lots of sex with charming assholes (and none with hard-working decent nice guys), only to panic when they hit the age of thirty or so and suddenly become ugly monsters.

Well, apparently the evil women have come up with a technical solution to that whole “getting old and ugly” problem. I have uncovered secret evidence in the form of a pamphlet or leaflet that the women of the world evidently circulate amongst themselves.

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Very clever of these sneaky women to call this magical age-defying balm “Toilet Soap,” to make us men think it’s a product only used for cleaning toilets, which is something women apparently do on a regular basis. But no, they put this so-called “Toilet Soap” on their faces!

I have been unable to find any of this “Lux Toilet Soap” at the local grocery store. So I’ve been trying out other toilet cleaners to see if they have the same age-retarding effects. So far I have had little luck. The Clorox Toilet Wand is harsh and awkward to use. Lime-A-Way Toilet Bowl Cleaner gave me a rash. The less said about my experience with the Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Cleaning Gel, the better. I have not yet tried Lysol’s Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner, as I am pretty sure Lysol is intended only for vaginas.

Also, fellas, I don’t want to alarm you, but I have been doing reasearch on yet another way women try to trick us into thinking that they’re hotter than they really are. It’s apparently called “make-up.” I will fill you in on the details as I learn more about it.

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cloudiah
7 years ago

@kittehserf, At least now you know, that must be kind of a relief.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

It is indeed! If there’d been nothing showing, I’d be left wondering why the hell I’ve got all this weird pain happening.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Hey katz, if you’re still around, how is little Arya doing?

katz
7 years ago

That’s Arya in the pic. She is sitting on my shoulder, whence she climbed all by herself 🙂 So yes, she is feeling better.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Yayyy!

Fade
7 years ago

I finally know what’s up with my knee. It’s a torn meniscus and sprained something or other. Small tear, by the sound of it, which is just as well since it’s the inside of the leg and surgery really isn’t useful for that spot. It’s a relief to know what’s going on with it.

Hoping your knee feels better, or at the very least, doesn’t get worse.. God, bad knees suck.

Aikido really wrecked my knees, which was kinda shameful, since that was supposed to be the EASY martial art. (I mean, as far as how hard it is on your body.)

That is really… not encouraging, considering I already have bad knees.

But, so far the martial arts that have been recommended:

Tai chi
Laito? Iato? Iaido?Ag, it was like kendo in that it used a sword but it was also more on movement and balance… I forgot to write down the name, but I’ll go back and look through the thread later.
Aikido.

I’m probably going to wind up looking more info later, but thanks for all that you guys have given me so far! 😀

cloudiah
7 years ago

I was hoping that was Arya! Yay for resilient kitties.

pecunium
7 years ago

Historophilia: And I can assure you it is heavy to wear, particularly the Men as the grill which protects the fact is made of metal.

I’ve fenced in it, and misremembered the name, as do-maru is the classical period term for the central body armor.

As to my comment about it’s weight/bulk, I was making a comparitive comment, from of time spent in various types of armor, because I’ve spent a fair bit of 30 years doing lots of sword/bladework/martial arts with weapons.

I own shinai, bokken, and shinken (both modern, and an historical katana, and wakizashi) and iaito; as well as jo, and western swords (saber, rapier, small sword and an historic civil war officers sword), staves and spears.

I have gear adequate to my uses in all of them.

My desire for making traditional pattern armor (latter 15th century, haramaki or maru-do yori) is for the sense of how it moves, as well as being an issue of cost. I can’t afford to have one made; regardless of pattern. It wouldn’t be for fighting in, but for the sense of fit/movement, especially the way o-sode move/affect the use of the sword, in part as an aid to my practice. Odds are, just because of time, and all the other things I have competing for it, it won’t happen.

With some thirty years of practice (both with practice weapons, and with blunted steel) I’ve managed to come away with nothing more then the usual sorts of bruises, contusions and sprains which come of any hard work in a martial art. No broken bones; save from Aikido.

Historophilia
Historophilia
7 years ago

Oh bogu would be lighter compared to plate/mail etc. but it is still heavy, particularly for anyone who hasn’t worn any kind of armour before.

I’m relieved to hear you clearly know your stuff, I knew you did martial arts but I didn’t know you had a lot of experience with weapons and Japanese ones in particular and I didn’t know you had experience with bogu.

I had horrible images of someone trying to fence in home made armour and getting horribly injured. It does happen, what is common is for the odd over enthusiastic type to try and teach themselves Kendo or Kenjutsu or start Kendo, decide that it’s not proper sword fighting so have a go at home improvising what they see as proper sword fighting.

The former usually don’t do themselves much damage, though they are nearky impossible to teach if they start kendo properly, but the latter are dangerous as they know just enough about how it actually works to get it horribly wrong (these are the types that will try and Tsuki each other in jigeiko as beginners).

As to the injuries, I thought it important to mention them, as they are possible in Kendo, as I’m sure you know, the Kote don’t stop your wrist from hurting when hit.

If one was hit by someone with poor or no tenouchi (just trying to cut through to the floor as it were), fractured or broken wrists are possible in Shiai or Jigeiko. (Or even just in practice if you’re very unlucky).

It also possible to damage your hearing if you don’t tie your men properly (for example if you don’t have the strings flat).

And crushed windpipes are a very strong possibility indeed, in fact for a long time you were allowed to tsuki women due to the lack of adams apple which provides some protection.

I’m sorry if I implied that you didn’t know what you were doing, but I really don’t want anyone reading this to get the wrong idea about what Kendo entails and I don’t want anyone getting hurt.

historophilia
historophilia
7 years ago

And Fade it was Iaido that was suggested.

Howard Bannister
7 years ago

@Historphilia:

It also possible to damage your hearing if you don’t tie your men properly (for example if you don’t have the strings flat).

Tie your men properly?

😀

I know what you mean (thank you, google), but considering where this conversation started, I am inordinately amused by this statement.

/isfive

bagelsan
bagelsan
7 years ago

I would think you’d get hearing damage if you don’t gag your men properly…

/isapervert

pecunium
7 years ago

What I thought about bogu is that, compared to chain, and plate, is that it’s moves less well. But that’s an issue of fit. The style doesn’t lend itself to being closefitting. It’s lighter than plate, but more awkward. I suspect that being able to find a set that fit really well would improve it, but they are very different styles, meant to do different things.

I’ve been reluctant to try kendo, because I know too many ways of using swords. I can do Western style “fencing” fairly well, because it’s where I started, and the formalisms don’t bother me. But I’ve spent too much of my subsequent study with steel. It’s why I don’t even think about heavy weapons in the SCA. What they do is a really effective fighting style (and it’s made it possible for me to wear armor which fit really well; because there are a lot of armorers out there), but it’s not really a swordfighting art.

Kendo’s stylizations are enough different (and I know why they are, and the physics of shinai/bokken are what they are) that I am sure I would have a hard time unlearning what I know of other things, to be a good kendoka. It’s also why I have a hard time with various arts (esp. aikido) knife drills.

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