Gather ‘round the fire for yet another retelling of what may be the Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale. You know, the one about the evil ladies who have lots of sex with “bad boys” in their early twenties, only to panic a few years later and desperately try to attach themselves to hardworking beta schlubs once they realize that their looks are fading. You know, like that lady riding the rooster that alternates with the mammoth in the Man Boobz header graphic.
This particular version of the tale – posted to the perversely misnamed “Happy Bachelors” forum by a long-time MGTOWer called Outcast Superstar – somehow manages to avoid the phrase “cock carousel” entirely. But regular readers will find the story familiar nonetheless.
Here, without further ado, is “Suckers Vs. Fuckers,” by Mr. Superstar.
[W]estern women love excitement and hate boredom. When they are in their teens and early 20’s, they don’t want stability that suckers have to offer because that is boring.
Gosh, who could imagine that anyone in their early twenties might be more interested in dating various people instead of settling down?
Keep in mind that women don’t think for themselves but decisions on who they date or sleep with is usually made by the council not by the woman herself. This council is usually made up of her mother, sister, and friends etc. If dating a nice guy is not considered to be fun and popular by the “council” he is going to get snubbed.
The fellows at South Park have provided us with a rare glimpse into the workings of these mysterious councils.
There is another group of guys called fuckers. Women love to have sex with these guys during their prime years. Although they offer no stability to these women, however women will still sleep with them. The reason why women will is because they are unpredictable and therefore they are deemed as very exciting.
Oh, but things change radically when these evil ladies start to … age.
Once these women get to there late 20’s – early 30’s they will fraudently sell their looks to suckers who make a good income in order to get married. In other words they will put on a pony show for them until they get the ring.
But as long as these ladies hold onto any of their youthful prettiness, they can still cause trouble.
After a few years of marriage, these women are going to get bored and everything is the suckers fault. They will look for affairs and cash out on their suckers knowing that they will get the house, child support (if they have children), and alimony. All she has to do is file a false abuse charge (no proof necessary) to make all this happen. Even as a bonus, the sucker even gets to pay for her attorney fees.
But ultimately these evil gals will get their comeuppance.
Despite there not being any legal justice in this country, Mother Nature has a justice of her own.
Those suckers who once ached for these women will lose interest in them once they get to be in their mid to late 20’s. The last thing they are going to find attractive are used up women in their late 20’s-30’s. In fact these women must be avoided at all cost. They got a disease called baby rabies. They are going to do everything possible to get pregnant and trap you into a long term relationship where they can get provided for.
Happily, western “suckers” can escape the clutches of these evil ladies. After all, western men have alternatives, in the form of foreign women and, er, model railroads?
[O]nce those “suckers” get financially stable they will get to travel to foreign countries and enjoy beautiful women. Also, while in the United States, they will have developed fun hobbies to do when they are not working. In fact these “suckers” will not have to deal with the stress of fear of divorce, a nagging whore, false abuse and rape chargers, get to keep their sanity and money, won’t have to worry about raising kid that aren’t theirs etc.
And so these so-called “suckers” can sit back and watch with pleasure as the ladies who refused to have sex with them in their younger years grow old and miserable at approximately twice the speed of the more-gracefully aging men.
[T]he women who neglected the “suckers” in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years are going to have to face justice. It’s not legal justice but Mother Nature justice. Once they get to their late 20’s for every year a man ages, they will be aging by two years. They will wrinkle and get ugly very fast. Investing thousands of dollars in makeup in order to form a bond with a “sucker” is not going to get the job done because they failed to form a bond with a “sucker” during their prime years. Their biological clocks will be ticking and they will get very desperate. They are going to want to be talking care off, like living off a “sucker” so they won’t have to work.
To interject for a moment, I believe that when Mr. Superstar refers to women who are “going to want to be talking care off,” what he means is that these women are “going to want to be taken care of.”
I’m reminded a bit of Kevin Kline’s teleprompter troubles in the movie Soapdish.
Oh, but Outcast Superstar isn’t quite done with his story yet:
Disgusted by their behavior, the “suckers” will not want anything to do with them and will rebuke them. They are going to have to work long hours for the rest of their life because they could not find a “sucker” to take care of them. They will whine and complain that the “suckers” will not commit despite them snubbing them in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years. They will rot all alone with no one to take care of them, many of them will not get to have children, and will be living very miserable lives until death all because they thought it was cute to let the “suckers” rot all alone while they go squander their prime years to the “fuckers” That my friends is what I call justice!
Um, that’s cool and all, but aren’t these ladies supposed to have cats?
You’re not telling the story right!
Outcast Superstar, tell us the story AGAIN. But with CATS!
NOTE: I found this lovely story after it was reposted on MarkyMark’s blog. After a fairly long period of inactivity, old MarkyMark is posting like there’s no tomorrow.
Image at the top borrowed from Comically Vintage.
Ferrets do weird sleep death as well. I want a pet sooooo bad. Do you think king manboobz minds us just talking about animals all over his site? He’ll have to prize the adorabubbles from my cold dead hands (or ban me, whatevz.)
cats just don’t care
On grapes: bunnies will eat everything except onions(maybe sometimes even onions, haven’t seen one doing it though) They’ll steal pizza, popcorn, gummy bears…mine’s not much for cheese, but I can’t have orchids any more. or books in the lower shelves. Or shelves she can climb.
@dainty
I’m often told that derails are very welcome here and that cuteness is the not-so-secret agenda of the comment thread.
I am a fan of these adorabubbles.
Sorry for my not-great suggestion. I’ll continue to recommend it for cats, but not for bunnies.
I like rats as a pet, too. One sad thing/benefit is they don’t live very long… that means you’re looking at less of a commitment if you get some ratties compared to guinea pigs, etc. They also are trainable, but I don’t think they can be kept quite like bunnies.
Bunnie question: do you have to get bunnies fixed for their health? I had to get my ratties spayed, and that was a little pricey.
You don’t need to get indoor animals fixed if they’re all the same sex though? I had some girl ratties who got a bit…aroused now and then, but if theres no boys it doesn’t matter does it? (Hopefully not showing complete ignorance.)
I was told (read?) that girl ratties are at a higher risk for cancer if they aren’t either bred or spayed, but I wouldn’t swear to that… One of mine got a mammary tumor anyways, that she needed surgery for. And teeny animal surgery can be expensive!
I had rats once, loved them!
Uhm…same sex males get along very well, females not so much, but other then that I wouldn’t know. I don’t know anyone who got their bunnies spayed, all same sex or kept alone.
@auglochlorella.
did I come off unfriendly? Just asking because you apologized for the grape question and it makes me think I did. If so, didn’t mean to.
But don’t anybody get mice, they’re assholes! ;D
(Fer real, though. Assholes.)
Oh dear, I didn’t know that. But then I guess its the same for humans and every other mammal.
One of my ratties got mites (after going to the rat babysitter while we were away), and she got ill so we took her to the vet and they said ‘so we’ll put it down then’. We were like ‘oh, if you think thats best…’ and they took her into the other room and euthanased her and we both left in tears. They wouldn’t have done that if she had been a dog and I still feel awful about it that we didn’t fight for her. Silly dougal. =(
This reminds me of my beta fish, who looked dead when they sleeped. I was in like, 2nd grade when this happened, and I freaked out.
^^Bagelsan, it may be correct that girl rats get more cancer if they are not spayed. I know my sister had four female unspayed rats, and two of them died from cancer.
If I remember correctly (I’m still in the research stage for this. XD) bunnies need to be spayed.
My girl ratties were best buds, maybe they were just weird =)
OMG I once was caring for a friend’s rabbits while she was out of town and I just about had a heart attack when I came in one day and both of them were “dead.” No one warned me that they sleep like that so I was in a panic thinking I’d fed them something wrong or something.
Bagelsan, a friend of mine who breeds rats told me the same thing about mammary tumors. He spays the girls he’s not planning on breeding.
I’ve always wanted one of his rats but I have 3 cats (two of whom are probably safe but one fancies himself a panther) and a stable population of 5 dogs with 1-2 fosters usually thrown in for good measure, and my dogs are working dogs with high prey drives. My home is way too dangerous for rodents. 🙁
@ TomBcat
No, not at all. You were fine.
Baglesan..
I have two mice,they’re rather nice 🙂
(that’s how I learned english -.-)
But rats have generally a much higher risk for cancer, they are basically bred to. They die of it all the time, also I don’t quite get how it would relate to spaying, gotta look that up. But it sounds a little weird to me.
Dougal(would you rather be called dougal or dainty or the whole name, I keep forgetting to ask people that).
Don’t feel bad. Vets are so much more stressful for a rat and they have much shorter lives, it’s really hard to decide if you should go with treatment there…
Call me whatevz you want innit. We just felt helpless because they were so matter of fact. When our old cat was put down the vets were really caring and understanding. I don’t want to think its only the money differential but it was just horrible. And they kept calling her ‘it’. Can I ask your first language? (obvs feel free not to answer). Your english and making sense skills are so far superior to mine!
@Fade
but I think only males, at least over here it’s not recommended for females. Only if it’s necessary due to illness. unspayed males tend to go after stuffed animals…
But tell me if you find more info, I’d like to know if you find different recommendations.
Ashley: Why doesn’t the manosphere ever talk about how women settle down, get married, and have kids before they are really ready only to go through a mid life crisis at 35-40 and become depressed because they wish they would have actually had youth that didn’t include living with mommy and daddy straight to living with husband-daddy. But noooo, they sweep that one under the rug.
They do… that’s when the “women age poorly” comes into its own. At that point what you do is kick her to the curb, and trade her in on a model that’s not worn out. The problem (as they keep explaining it) is that they want support, if not for themselves, for the kids, and that’s oppressing them.
Cowardice (if that’s the word for a wannabe abuser – it isn’t, but I can’t think of one that means “gutless even about doing something reprehensible”) is one of the core characteristics of MRAs, I think.
Gormless. Slack-livered. They know what they want, and they can’t bring themselves to the sticking point. So they feel diminished, twice; they know they want a wicked thing, and they have not the hardness of heart to reach out and take it. Condemned by themselves, and society.
Deservedly so in both cases.
@Dougal
I so know what you mean. I went to a different vet because the first one didn’t seem to care much for the pets, calling them ‘it’ even though I told her their gender.
The one after that was great though, and seemed to sincerely love animals.
I think it’s not so much about money, but that smaller animals with shorter life spans are just considered less important.
You’re English skills seem fine to me, but then again I’m German. May I ask your first language?
@pecunium
that was poetic. (or it sounded to me)
In my head you’re german but I’ve probably just ‘read’ you ‘write’ it before. (Like ‘hear’ you ‘say’…yeah.) Pathetically I’m totes English. I can write legibly when I really try but it seems mostly to come out all wrong!
@TomBcat
Well, when I was looking into adopting rabbits I found this site that mentioned spaying or neutering, but if you follow the link you can see they don’t really give much info, so I don’t know if they’re exactly what you’d call a reliable source.
So that’s how I got the idea in my head, I just have to do more research to figure out which option is better…
That’s something I don’t get… why would you even go into veterinary practices if you didn’t care about animals?
Ooh, on that note, I’m searching for a summer job, and there might be an opening for an assitant pet groomer in a petco near me! I’d be so excited if I got that job! (since I love animals squeee) All I need is to find transportation and I’d be good to go!
grosssssssss
Dougal, I never mentioned it but there were hints 🙂
Fade, that sounds nice, I hope you get the job!
I looked into it too, and so far everyone recommends to only neuter the males. For females it’s a relatively dangerous operation, and they don’t mark their territory or get aggressive, which apparently the males do if they can’t have sex(MRA bunnehs!)
@TomBcat
Thank you for the advice! This will help me save a teeny bit of money if I decide to get a young female bunny (though I might get one from the shelter I linked to because they’d probably be cheeper and they need a home).
And lol at the MRA bunnies.
Right now, I’m just holding off applying until I figure out how I’m going to get there…
/no liscence no car.