Gather ‘round the fire for yet another retelling of what may be the Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale. You know, the one about the evil ladies who have lots of sex with “bad boys” in their early twenties, only to panic a few years later and desperately try to attach themselves to hardworking beta schlubs once they realize that their looks are fading. You know, like that lady riding the rooster that alternates with the mammoth in the Man Boobz header graphic.
This particular version of the tale – posted to the perversely misnamed “Happy Bachelors” forum by a long-time MGTOWer called Outcast Superstar – somehow manages to avoid the phrase “cock carousel” entirely. But regular readers will find the story familiar nonetheless.
Here, without further ado, is “Suckers Vs. Fuckers,” by Mr. Superstar.
[W]estern women love excitement and hate boredom. When they are in their teens and early 20’s, they don’t want stability that suckers have to offer because that is boring.
Gosh, who could imagine that anyone in their early twenties might be more interested in dating various people instead of settling down?
Keep in mind that women don’t think for themselves but decisions on who they date or sleep with is usually made by the council not by the woman herself. This council is usually made up of her mother, sister, and friends etc. If dating a nice guy is not considered to be fun and popular by the “council” he is going to get snubbed.
The fellows at South Park have provided us with a rare glimpse into the workings of these mysterious councils.
There is another group of guys called fuckers. Women love to have sex with these guys during their prime years. Although they offer no stability to these women, however women will still sleep with them. The reason why women will is because they are unpredictable and therefore they are deemed as very exciting.
Oh, but things change radically when these evil ladies start to … age.
Once these women get to there late 20’s – early 30’s they will fraudently sell their looks to suckers who make a good income in order to get married. In other words they will put on a pony show for them until they get the ring.
But as long as these ladies hold onto any of their youthful prettiness, they can still cause trouble.
After a few years of marriage, these women are going to get bored and everything is the suckers fault. They will look for affairs and cash out on their suckers knowing that they will get the house, child support (if they have children), and alimony. All she has to do is file a false abuse charge (no proof necessary) to make all this happen. Even as a bonus, the sucker even gets to pay for her attorney fees.
But ultimately these evil gals will get their comeuppance.
Despite there not being any legal justice in this country, Mother Nature has a justice of her own.
Those suckers who once ached for these women will lose interest in them once they get to be in their mid to late 20’s. The last thing they are going to find attractive are used up women in their late 20’s-30’s. In fact these women must be avoided at all cost. They got a disease called baby rabies. They are going to do everything possible to get pregnant and trap you into a long term relationship where they can get provided for.
Happily, western “suckers” can escape the clutches of these evil ladies. After all, western men have alternatives, in the form of foreign women and, er, model railroads?
[O]nce those “suckers” get financially stable they will get to travel to foreign countries and enjoy beautiful women. Also, while in the United States, they will have developed fun hobbies to do when they are not working. In fact these “suckers” will not have to deal with the stress of fear of divorce, a nagging whore, false abuse and rape chargers, get to keep their sanity and money, won’t have to worry about raising kid that aren’t theirs etc.
And so these so-called “suckers” can sit back and watch with pleasure as the ladies who refused to have sex with them in their younger years grow old and miserable at approximately twice the speed of the more-gracefully aging men.
[T]he women who neglected the “suckers” in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years are going to have to face justice. It’s not legal justice but Mother Nature justice. Once they get to their late 20’s for every year a man ages, they will be aging by two years. They will wrinkle and get ugly very fast. Investing thousands of dollars in makeup in order to form a bond with a “sucker” is not going to get the job done because they failed to form a bond with a “sucker” during their prime years. Their biological clocks will be ticking and they will get very desperate. They are going to want to be talking care off, like living off a “sucker” so they won’t have to work.
To interject for a moment, I believe that when Mr. Superstar refers to women who are “going to want to be talking care off,” what he means is that these women are “going to want to be taken care of.”
I’m reminded a bit of Kevin Kline’s teleprompter troubles in the movie Soapdish.
Oh, but Outcast Superstar isn’t quite done with his story yet:
Disgusted by their behavior, the “suckers” will not want anything to do with them and will rebuke them. They are going to have to work long hours for the rest of their life because they could not find a “sucker” to take care of them. They will whine and complain that the “suckers” will not commit despite them snubbing them in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years. They will rot all alone with no one to take care of them, many of them will not get to have children, and will be living very miserable lives until death all because they thought it was cute to let the “suckers” rot all alone while they go squander their prime years to the “fuckers” That my friends is what I call justice!
Um, that’s cool and all, but aren’t these ladies supposed to have cats?
You’re not telling the story right!
Outcast Superstar, tell us the story AGAIN. But with CATS!
NOTE: I found this lovely story after it was reposted on MarkyMark’s blog. After a fairly long period of inactivity, old MarkyMark is posting like there’s no tomorrow.
Image at the top borrowed from Comically Vintage.
I require some red pandas. Except I have renamed them ‘silly fluffy cuties with stripey tails’ (I am good at naming things yes)
I was trying to figure out why there are (at least) 2 groups of men but only one group of women but then realised that these delightful chaps only include ‘hot babes’ as women. If a woman is regular looking, or god forbid atypical looking they’re just not included in humanity.
And I suppose the ‘fuckers’ can be any age – they’re just some immortal magical force stealing all the sexy vaginas from the poor (creepy* misogynist) ‘suckers’.
*Yeah I went there. And what.
IMPORTANT NEWS: Danii Minogue looks 21 not 41
“Western women love excitement and hate boredom. Eastern women, however, simply adore boredom and cannot stand being excited. ”
Maybe that’s why MRAs fantasise about Eastern women! Anyone with a boredom fetish would have it completely satisfied by an MRA.
“On paper she’s 41-years old, but Dannii Minogue looked considerably more youth on Thursday night”
Oh Daily Mail, never change, or hire a copy editor.
I don’t think people ‘read’ the daily heil for the words. Some of the comments are pretty nice too:
‘Yes, I could accept this being my bird ! I would expect it to pay for my meals though !’
Are they challenging The Gaurdnia?
Why do women never appreciate their looks when they’re in the full bloom of youth?
Well now I don’t know what to think.
Just read that Pandagon article on Prager you linked to, StarStorm. This bit caught my eye:
“Did you know that between the ages of 35 and 55, a woman’s vagina actually turns into a space-like vacuum capable of freezing and shattering a wang in under three seconds?”
WHY HAS NOBODY TOLD ME HOW TO DO THIS
“Noted troll publication The Daily Mail inflicts psychological torture on its readers once again.”
I thought vaginas just sort of shrivel up and disappear over the age of 25, does this mean 10 years later they reappear as super space vacuums?
So much I don’t know about biology!
The shrivelling up is the vagina pupating until it emerges as the Space Vacuum Butterfly of Wang Death.
It all makes sense! These horrible ‘men’ don’t hate older women because they don’t make such good victims, its because of the Space Vacuum Butterfly of Wang Death. I think we should subtly pass this knowledge around the mrm hang out joints.
Well that sentence made minus sense. Really need to start working on telepathy. When do I get hooked up to the hivemind btw?
Kittehserf is a promotion of sorts, really, isn’t it? Congratulations!
See, that could actually be sort of entertaining in an article about, say, over-or-under toilet paper preferences taking a faux-outraged tone.
The lack of any real comedic intent makes it really sad, tho.
PS I was up at Sydney Uni for the first time in ages and one of the student magazines has an article on the whole PUA thing. We outchea!
I have it! I know why MRA’s seem to believe that women past 25 look “used up” and “worn out”!
They only see women as sex things to put their dick into right? So that means that women are the the equivalent of a sock they use to masturbate into right?
Well, if you the same sock to masturbate into from early teens right up until late twenties it is going to get pretty worn out isn’t it? I mean wear and tear will stretch the elastic and it’ll lose shape and the fabric will wear thin. Also if you didn’t wash it often it’ll get….crusty…
So MRA’s think women are like a wank sock that’s been used for 10 or 15 years. That’s why they thick sexually active women seem to age faster.
However I have still yet to figure out the strange belief they seem to have that women who don’t ride the “cock carousel” and marry these “suckers” at 18 or whatever will magically not age and that the sex they have within a relationship will not have the “wearing out” affect they seem to believe that casual sex or sex within several relationships will have.
Historophilia
The fantasy sexy 14yr barefoot in the kitchen will magically not age precisely because she is magic. They know these perfect virgin slave teenagers don’t exist so the ‘logic’ doesn’t matter.
If you see sex as a basic human right (for sad menz that is) then it must seem like a terrible injustice that fellow sentient beings are attached to the delicious sexy parts that are owed to you. All the rest is just filler.
You have vitaman D deficiency? Omg, I have vitamin D deficiency* Anyway, my doctor didn’t say anything about it messing with my thinking but she said it might contribute to my joint pain… but
*should be read in a slightly joking tone. Or something.
That’s because sex is addictive and dangerous. If you’re a woman.
If you don’t mind me building off this… They probably think that old women are “used” because they don’t think of women as people, just objects that the REAL people (ie men) can use. So if she’s lived a long time she must’ve been used because otherwise what was going on? Her living her own life? Nah.
Um… I can’t tell exactly what you’re saying here. Is this one of those “stereotypes are stereotypes because their true” things? Because if it is… not cool. Stereotypes are stereotypes because bigoted people couldn’t bother to get to know the people they’re discriminating against, so they just projected some bad qualities onto them.
I wish I had this superpower…. *wistful sigh*
That sounds so cozy! Me and my brother are both going to enter college at the same time, but I’m guessing we’re not going to wind up at the same one, mostly due to our huge difference in interests. 😛
You have vitaman D deficiency? Omg, I have vitamin D deficiency* Anyway, my doctor didn’t say anything about it messing with my thinking but she said it might contribute to my joint pain… but
*should be read in a slightly joking tone. Or something.
That’s because sex is addictive and dangerous. If you’re a woman.
If you don’t mind me building off this… They probably think that old women are “used” because they don’t think of women as people, just objects that the REAL people (ie men) can use. So if she’s lived a long time she must’ve been used because otherwise what was going on? Her living her own life? Nah.
Um… I can’t tell exactly what you’re saying here. Is this one of those “stereotypes are stereotypes because their true” things? Because if it is… not cool. Stereotypes are stereotypes because bigoted people couldn’t bother to get to know the people they’re discriminating against, so they just projected some bad qualities onto them.
I wish I had this superpower…. *wistful sigh*
That sounds so cozy! Me and my brother are both going to enter college at the same time, but I’m guessing we’re not going to wind up at the same one, mostly due to our huge difference in interests. 😛 And because he’s a math genius who wants to get into programming.
/Could brag about my brother all day.
somehow I accidently typed my comment twice. Or pasted it. I am not sure
Vitamin D deficiency can most definitely mess with your thinking. I had a very severe deficiency and went to the doctor because my memory was completely shot. I would forget my keys in the outside of the door, leave burners on, and could barely hold a conversation.
I don’t think I turned into a misogynist wank stain tho. .
@lowquacks – “Kittehserf is a promotion of sorts, really, isn’t it? Congratulations!”
LOL I hadn’t thought of it that way! *preens*
@Fade – “You have vitaman D deficiency? Omg, I have vitamin D deficiency*”
No, no, I was thinking of the “MRAs who never go outdoors” thing we’ve been saying, and how lack of exposure to sunlight can lead to Vitamin D deficiency (which is actually a thing here in Oz now).
Following which:
@WeeBoy – my attempt at a joke was a misfire then, because I didn’t know Vitamin D deficiency actually could do that! I apologise, I wouldn’t have made that crack if I’d known.
/oops. I guess I misunderstood it. :blush:
I know my vitamin D deficiency doesn’t mess with my thinking, at least not as far as I can tell, but WeeBoy is right that it can.
Gah, don’t you hate it when you comment and then instantly think of something to add?
Anyway, I remember the doctor lecturing* me about how vitamin D was very important and it could mess with lots of things.
*Though not in a bad way. This is fibromyalgia doctor. She is awesome. Unlike Physical Therapist doctor. He sucks.
@daintydougal – “Well that sentence made minus sense. Really need to start working on telepathy. When do I get hooked up to the hivemind btw?”
Hey, it made sense to me! (See? The hivemind is working and you didn’t even know.)
But I think we need to get MRAs and PUAs and MGTOW and the whole crew believing all vaginas are Space Vacuum Butterflies of Wang Death. If it keeps them away from all vaginas and vagina-owners forever, it’s a win.
@Historophilia – I’d never heard of the wanking-into-a-sock thing before reading Manboobz. Great Ceiling Cat knows it was bade enough learning that, but now I am never going to be able to look at my slightly worn socks the same way again, thankyouverymuch.
Must say I’m glad my ladybits aren’t knitted tubes, sock-shaped or otherwise. That’d be much too itchy and scritchy.
“Gah, don’t you hate it when you comment and then instantly think of something to add?”
I do it ALL THE TIME
Apparently all the campaigns here in Oz to get people to use sunscreen, wear hats, cover up and stay out of the sun (we have the highest rate of skin cancer in the world) have been so successful that people – kids in particular, iirc – are showing signs of v. D deficiency. You can’t flippin’ well win!
Is the wanking into a sock thing because guys are more likely to be circumcised in the US therefore find it much harder to masturbate without ‘aides’. (Sorry for visuals).
I never really understood all these lube and socks ‘jokes’ in American media either. Probably misandry.