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The Slut Who Got Ugly and Sad: The Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale

Manosphere dudes want every story to end like this.
Manosphere dudes want every story to end like this.

Gather ‘round the fire for yet another retelling of what may be the Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale. You know, the one about the evil ladies who have lots of sex with “bad boys” in their early twenties, only to panic a few years later and desperately try to attach themselves to hardworking beta schlubs once they realize that their looks are fading. You know, like that lady riding the rooster that alternates with the mammoth in the Man Boobz header graphic.

This particular version of the tale – posted to the perversely misnamed “Happy Bachelors” forum by a long-time MGTOWer called Outcast Superstar – somehow manages to avoid the phrase “cock carousel” entirely. But regular readers  will find the story familiar nonetheless.

Here, without further ado, is “Suckers Vs. Fuckers,” by Mr. Superstar.

[W]estern women love excitement and hate boredom. When they are in their teens and early 20’s, they don’t want stability that suckers have to offer because that is boring.

Gosh, who could imagine that anyone in their early twenties might be more interested in dating various people instead of settling down?

Keep in mind that women don’t think for themselves but decisions on who they date or sleep with is usually made by the council not by the woman herself. This council is usually made up of her mother, sister, and friends etc. If dating a nice guy is not considered to be fun and popular by the “council” he is going to get snubbed.

The fellows at South Park have provided us with a rare glimpse into the workings of these mysterious councils.

There is another group of guys called fuckers. Women love to have sex with these guys during their prime years. Although they offer no stability to these women, however women will still sleep with them. The reason why women will is because they are unpredictable and therefore they are deemed as very exciting.

Oh, but things change radically when these evil ladies start to … age.

Once these women get to there late 20’s – early 30’s they will fraudently sell their looks to suckers who make a good income in order to get married. In other words they will put on a pony show for them until they get the ring.

But as long as these ladies hold onto any of their youthful prettiness, they can still cause trouble.

After a few years of marriage, these women are going to get bored and everything is the suckers fault. They will look for affairs and cash out on their suckers knowing that they will get the house, child support (if they have children), and alimony. All she has to do is file a false abuse charge (no proof necessary) to make all this happen. Even as a bonus, the sucker even gets to pay for her attorney fees.

But ultimately these evil gals will get their comeuppance.

Despite there not being any legal justice in this country, Mother Nature has a justice of her own.

Those suckers who once ached for these women will lose interest in them once they get to be in their mid to late 20’s. The last thing they are going to find attractive are used up women in their late 20’s-30’s. In fact these women must be avoided at all cost. They got a disease called baby rabies. They are going to do everything possible to get pregnant and trap you into a long term relationship where they can get provided for.

Happily, western “suckers” can escape the clutches of these evil ladies. After all, western men have alternatives, in the form of foreign women and, er, model railroads?

[O]nce those “suckers” get financially stable they will get to travel to foreign countries and enjoy beautiful women. Also, while in the United States, they will have developed fun hobbies to do when they are not working. In fact these “suckers” will not have to deal with the stress of fear of divorce, a nagging whore, false abuse and rape chargers, get to keep their sanity and money, won’t have to worry about raising kid that aren’t theirs etc.

And so these so-called “suckers” can sit back and watch with pleasure as the ladies who refused to have sex with them in their younger years grow old and miserable at approximately twice the speed of the more-gracefully aging men.

[T]he women who neglected the “suckers” in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years are going to have to face justice. It’s not legal justice but Mother Nature justice. Once they get to their late 20’s for every year a man ages, they will be aging by two years. They will wrinkle and get ugly very fast. Investing thousands of dollars in makeup in order to form a bond with a “sucker” is not going to get the job done because they failed to form a bond with a “sucker” during their prime years. Their biological clocks will be ticking and they will get very desperate. They are going to want to be talking care off, like living off a “sucker” so they won’t have to work.

To interject for a moment, I believe that when Mr. Superstar refers to women who are “going to want to be talking care off,” what he means is that these women are “going to want to be taken care of.”

I’m reminded a bit of Kevin Kline’s teleprompter troubles in the movie Soapdish.

Oh, but Outcast Superstar isn’t quite done with his story yet:

Disgusted by their behavior, the “suckers” will not want anything to do with them and will rebuke them. They are going to have to work long hours for the rest of their life because they could not find a “sucker” to take care of them. They will whine and complain that the “suckers” will not commit despite them snubbing them in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years. They will rot all alone with no one to take care of them, many of them will not get to have children, and will be living very miserable lives until death all because they thought it was cute to let the “suckers” rot all alone while they go squander their prime years to the “fuckers” That my friends is what I call justice!

Um, that’s cool and all, but aren’t these ladies supposed to have cats?

You’re not telling the story right!

Outcast Superstar, tell us the story AGAIN. But with CATS!

NOTE: I found this lovely story after it was reposted on MarkyMark’s blog. After a fairly long period of inactivity, old MarkyMark is posting like there’s no tomorrow.

Image at the top borrowed from Comically Vintage.

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Kittehserf
11 years ago

“This is the part that always gets me: they think women are ignoring them on purpose, that every women who’s not dating them is doing it to hurt them personally (or at least, we enjoy knowing there’s some poor beta schlub not getting laid because we’re fucking alphas instead). And they have the nerve to accuse women of being self-centered!”

Well, if women know they’re MRAbonerwhiners they probably are deliberately ignoring them. 😉

“BTW, I’m 41 and no wrinkles–all the misandry keeps my skin baby soft.”

I’m nearly 50 and it’s the same story here. The hypergamy probably helps too.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

He invoked Mother Nature’s name a lot, like right here:

“It’s not legal justice but Mother Nature justice.”

I wonder if Mother Nature gets pissed off when assholes say such shitty things about her.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

I love how Captain Sucker up there thinks that all women want babies (weird contradiction there with “oh no, the humans are going away!*). Do these MGTOWs just get all their info on relationships from TV?

*I think they just mean the white humans are going away, and that’s what has their undies in a wad.

pecunium
11 years ago

Wait, I thought the women were all living the high life of divorce assets and alimony. What’s the source of their misery?

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Shiraz, because I’m old and decrepit, his invocation of Mother Nature just made me think of this:

Kittehserf
11 years ago

“Do these MGTOWs just get all their info on relationships from TV?”

They even manage to screw up TV’s message, it seems. Does Faux News have a ‘Murrican Relationships program? That’s the only thing I can think of that’s dumb enough for ’em.

becausescience
becausescience
11 years ago

Do these guys never go outside?

I think they get their entire education on how the world works from manosphere blogs and porn.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Ohhh, I remember that, hellkell — “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!”

So yeah, really, she should point a thunder bolt at that asshole.

augochlorella
11 years ago

Does Faux News have a ‘Murrican Relationships program?

They don’t, but there is at least one right wing political pundit who does this weekly relationship special. One of my parents is very fond of it. From what I’ve overheard, the premise is that relationships work best when the man and woman (because of course this is only cis heterosexual relationships) fulfill their god-given roles. So basically, if a marriage fails it’s either because the woman wasn’t womanly enough or the man wasn’t manly enough.

The show is gross.

Marie
11 years ago

@augochlorella

Ew 🙁 Fox news sounds so terrible, I’m glad I haven’t had the misfortune of watching it anytime recently.

augochlorella
11 years ago

@ Marie

This wasn’t Fox News. It was a radio show. Still, I’d advise avoiding both.

Marie
11 years ago

@augochlorella

Ah. For some reason I was under the impression it was fox. Either way, sounds icky. Luckily again for me, I practically never listen to radio shows. Sorry this sounds so random… feel like my internet tone is all weird today. :/

Kittehserf
11 years ago

augochlorella – colour me surprised! Eww.

“From what I’ve overheard, the premise is that relationships work best when the man and woman (because of course this is only cis heterosexual relationships) fulfill their god-given roles.”

Just shows you need to choose your gods carefully.

CassandraSays
11 years ago

I remember fondly the last time I got the “one day you’ll be 30 and then you’ll regret all this feminism nonsense and wish you’d settled down with a nice guy like me!” speech. I was 36 at the time (and already married to Mr C, who’s much nicer than the dude whining at me was).

augochlorella
11 years ago

@ Marie You’re fine, silly. 🙂

I’m almost tempted to look up some of this stuff and post it here, but it kind of makes me feel sick anytime I hear the show. As in, my stomach actually cramps up. They make it sound like men and women are completely different species and are incapable of communicating with one another because Hunter and Nurturer and God. My parent eats it up and turns it all on my brother. This parent feels that my brother isn’t “man enough.” 🙁

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

It isn’t so much the young women ignore them bit as the young women ignore them with the malicious intent to make them rot alone that signals the narcissism. Because narcissist firmly believe that everyone does everything first and foremost based on how it will affect the narcissist. Which is absurd but there is simply no way to convince a narcissist that he is not the protagonist in everyone else’s life story.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

augochlorella – yuck to your brother copping that. Will he be able to get away from home anytime soon? 🙁

augochlorella
11 years ago

Ah, what the heck. I went and looked it up. The two people who do it sell an audio thing of relationship advice. Just reading the list of show topics they have is enough for me. I’m going to put a trigger warning on that for marital rape for that third topic. Holy shit.

stupid stupid stupid show

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
11 years ago

It isn’t so much the young women ignore them bit as the young women ignore them with the malicious intent to make them rot alone that signals the narcissism.

Yes, that. I can’t always express myself very well, it seems.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

thebewilderness – “It isn’t so much the young women ignore them bit as the young women ignore them with the malicious intent to make them rot alone that signals the narcissism.”

Does it count if one ignores them with the malicious satisfaction of knowing they’ll probably rot alone? 😉

CassandraSays
11 years ago

They can’t all be narcissists, presumably, so some of them must just be too stupid or too determined to find a fantasy to cling to for them to admit that Occams Razor applies to the question “why does this person not want to date/have sex with me?” just like it does to any other situation. No need for conspiracy theories – “zie doesn’t like me” often covers it, and if not that then “zie is not attracted to people of my gender”, “zie is married”, and so on.

augochlorella
11 years ago

@ Kittehserf (I am a fan of this new name)

We’re both at college together right now – the same one even. 🙂 Come summer, though, we’ll both be home. I’ve suggested that my brother live with our other parent, but he wants to stay with this one. When I’m in a financial position to move out (hopefully this time next year) I’ll offer to take him with me.

Honestly, though, even I’m not looking forward to going home, even for a short summer. This man-man/woman-woman stuff grates on me horribly, and unlike my brother, I’m not even subject to this parent’s emotional abuse from it.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

I don’t think so, Kittehserf. That would indicate that they were not first and foremost in your mind but rather an afterthought. How dare you afterthought zone them!

Kittehserf
11 years ago

@thebewilderness – Afterthought zone is a wonderful misandrist concept that really needs to be developed! 😀

@augochlorella – ouch, pity that your brother’s staying with that parent, but his choice, I guess. I hope he takes you up on the offer come the time.

Merci about the name!

Nitram
Nitram
11 years ago

“Keep in mind that women don’t think for themselves but decisions on who they date or sleep with is usually made by the council not by the woman herself. This council is usually made up of her mother, sister, and friends etc. If dating a nice guy is not considered to be fun and popular by the “council” he is going to get snubbed.”

This is just so stupid. I mean, had I actually listened to my friends and family I would’ve avoided many jerks and I would’ve gotten out of abusive relationships much more quickly. And most people can think of several occasions in which they desperately tried to talk a friend or family member out of dating and/or marrying someone. And I’m almost positive most people, if not all, don’t listen or heed these warnings and advice and just end up doing what they want. In short, people fuck who they want to fuck. The “council” has virtually no pull in the fuck decision making department.