Gather ‘round the fire for yet another retelling of what may be the Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale. You know, the one about the evil ladies who have lots of sex with “bad boys” in their early twenties, only to panic a few years later and desperately try to attach themselves to hardworking beta schlubs once they realize that their looks are fading. You know, like that lady riding the rooster that alternates with the mammoth in the Man Boobz header graphic.
This particular version of the tale – posted to the perversely misnamed “Happy Bachelors” forum by a long-time MGTOWer called Outcast Superstar – somehow manages to avoid the phrase “cock carousel” entirely. But regular readers will find the story familiar nonetheless.
Here, without further ado, is “Suckers Vs. Fuckers,” by Mr. Superstar.
[W]estern women love excitement and hate boredom. When they are in their teens and early 20’s, they don’t want stability that suckers have to offer because that is boring.
Gosh, who could imagine that anyone in their early twenties might be more interested in dating various people instead of settling down?
Keep in mind that women don’t think for themselves but decisions on who they date or sleep with is usually made by the council not by the woman herself. This council is usually made up of her mother, sister, and friends etc. If dating a nice guy is not considered to be fun and popular by the “council” he is going to get snubbed.
The fellows at South Park have provided us with a rare glimpse into the workings of these mysterious councils.
There is another group of guys called fuckers. Women love to have sex with these guys during their prime years. Although they offer no stability to these women, however women will still sleep with them. The reason why women will is because they are unpredictable and therefore they are deemed as very exciting.
Oh, but things change radically when these evil ladies start to … age.
Once these women get to there late 20’s – early 30’s they will fraudently sell their looks to suckers who make a good income in order to get married. In other words they will put on a pony show for them until they get the ring.
But as long as these ladies hold onto any of their youthful prettiness, they can still cause trouble.
After a few years of marriage, these women are going to get bored and everything is the suckers fault. They will look for affairs and cash out on their suckers knowing that they will get the house, child support (if they have children), and alimony. All she has to do is file a false abuse charge (no proof necessary) to make all this happen. Even as a bonus, the sucker even gets to pay for her attorney fees.
But ultimately these evil gals will get their comeuppance.
Despite there not being any legal justice in this country, Mother Nature has a justice of her own.
Those suckers who once ached for these women will lose interest in them once they get to be in their mid to late 20’s. The last thing they are going to find attractive are used up women in their late 20’s-30’s. In fact these women must be avoided at all cost. They got a disease called baby rabies. They are going to do everything possible to get pregnant and trap you into a long term relationship where they can get provided for.
Happily, western “suckers” can escape the clutches of these evil ladies. After all, western men have alternatives, in the form of foreign women and, er, model railroads?
[O]nce those “suckers” get financially stable they will get to travel to foreign countries and enjoy beautiful women. Also, while in the United States, they will have developed fun hobbies to do when they are not working. In fact these “suckers” will not have to deal with the stress of fear of divorce, a nagging whore, false abuse and rape chargers, get to keep their sanity and money, won’t have to worry about raising kid that aren’t theirs etc.
And so these so-called “suckers” can sit back and watch with pleasure as the ladies who refused to have sex with them in their younger years grow old and miserable at approximately twice the speed of the more-gracefully aging men.
[T]he women who neglected the “suckers” in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years are going to have to face justice. It’s not legal justice but Mother Nature justice. Once they get to their late 20’s for every year a man ages, they will be aging by two years. They will wrinkle and get ugly very fast. Investing thousands of dollars in makeup in order to form a bond with a “sucker” is not going to get the job done because they failed to form a bond with a “sucker” during their prime years. Their biological clocks will be ticking and they will get very desperate. They are going to want to be talking care off, like living off a “sucker” so they won’t have to work.
To interject for a moment, I believe that when Mr. Superstar refers to women who are “going to want to be talking care off,” what he means is that these women are “going to want to be taken care of.”
I’m reminded a bit of Kevin Kline’s teleprompter troubles in the movie Soapdish.
Oh, but Outcast Superstar isn’t quite done with his story yet:
Disgusted by their behavior, the “suckers” will not want anything to do with them and will rebuke them. They are going to have to work long hours for the rest of their life because they could not find a “sucker” to take care of them. They will whine and complain that the “suckers” will not commit despite them snubbing them in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years. They will rot all alone with no one to take care of them, many of them will not get to have children, and will be living very miserable lives until death all because they thought it was cute to let the “suckers” rot all alone while they go squander their prime years to the “fuckers” That my friends is what I call justice!
Um, that’s cool and all, but aren’t these ladies supposed to have cats?
You’re not telling the story right!
Outcast Superstar, tell us the story AGAIN. But with CATS!
NOTE: I found this lovely story after it was reposted on MarkyMark’s blog. After a fairly long period of inactivity, old MarkyMark is posting like there’s no tomorrow.
Image at the top borrowed from Comically Vintage.
Cassandra – that could probably read “women of any age won’t talk to them unless forced to, ie. they’re in customer service jobs”.
SCIENCE!
You know that’s just going to prompt a rant on the theme of “The barista at Starbucks refused to give me her phone number even though I bought a cup of coffee and then when I complained to the manager that white knight refused to fire her and this proves that misandry is really real but don’t worry she’ll regret it when she hits 30 and turns into the Cryptkeeper”.
Actually, now that I think about it, that kid in college probably had a good motivation for saying that shit out loud in a class that was at least half girls — he wanted us to internalize the message so our dating standards would drop. And you know, maybe consider dating assholes like him before we get too “old.”
*Snicker*
I know you were all waiting with bated breath for an update on the bees outside my office door. It turns out they are not a hive, at least not yet; they are a swarm. As such, they are protected from interference by university policy. Most likely, they will move on, but if they do decide to build a hive here, they will be carefully moved to another, better location. My university has apparently partnered with urban gardeners and others who need bees.
So yay for the bees!
“I guess it must be comforting to believe that crap if you’re a guy who’s personality is so repellant that women your own age won’t talk to you”
And have you seen what a lot of these guys look like? And I wonder how they think they have room to get pissy about how women look. Really, dudes…ok, let me put it in their terms….if you’re a 3 (like most of the ones Ive seen) and you’re aiming for above 5 + younger than 25 + virginal (except with you in the bed cuz you need a freak, riiiiight?!), do you not see how this equation adds up. You are searching for unicorns, son!
Oh yes, let’s talk about how women age so badly. I love it when the mras tell me, “Going from your photos, you’re young and fairly attractive now, but once you hit your late 20s- early 30s, you are going to age and think about your actions.” Little do they know I’m about several years older than they think I am, ha.
Well this is timely…a friend just sent me a link to this guy’s blog and I was rather appalled to see that he has a whole blogroll down on the bottom left called “Enjoy the Schadenfreude”. Apparently it’s all blogs by women over 40 who don’t have husbands, or something like that :/
LOL!
Did anyone notice the bit about “baby rabies”? That’s prize weirdness, that is.
Remember that *cough* study *cough* from the State University of New York last year that went on about how semen is good for women? It got a real side-eye from me (I doubt I’m alone) but it sounds like the MRAs have the opposite attitude … sex is bad, bad, bad, it ages women, it’s awful and horrible and why are they doing it with everyone except MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE …
I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning.
And once gain, this must relate to them never going outside. They’ve never seen an attractive women above 25? That all men above 40 are gorgeous? Do they want us to believe they card every person they see on the street?
PS that lol was in response to Cassandra’s barista comment, and my schadenfreude comment wasn’t about the creep with the blog, it was what I feel about MRAs and their whining, aka “suffer in your jocks”.
Shiraz, perhaps Mr Wrinkles Are Distinguished needed to be told “Well hurry up and turn fifty, kid, ‘cos nobody’s going to touch you as you are now.”
And Reebok has apparently severed their relationship with Rick Ross over the casual rape lyrics in his song “U.O.E.N.O”. Cue whining from the manosphere in … No wait, since Rick Ross is black, they will probably ignore it.
But kitteh, that would have fed his fantasy of all younger women wanting to sex up older men….because, you know, Mother Nature. *Snicker-snort*
Council? I didn’t know the hivemind demanded such democracy in relationships. I just have a cult of loyal, adoring, and willing thralls.*
* Well, I have a couple of partners and some additional people who think my butt is nice. One can dream though. 😛
Perhaps a “get back to me when you’re fifty and let me know how it went” would have been better! 😀
Not that I can talk about older men …
🙂
This is the part that always gets me: they think women are ignoring them on purpose, that every women who’s not dating them is doing it to hurt them personally (or at least, we enjoy knowing there’s some poor beta schlub not getting laid because we’re fucking alphas instead). And they have the nerve to accuse women of being self-centered!
I’m having my birthday in about a month and a half; I’ll let you all know how the aging goes if I can get my decrepit mid-20s fingers to function by then. :p
“WAH, those bitches aren’t sleeping with meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! They’ll be sorry!”
Jesus H., dudes, get some new material.
BTW, I’m 41 and no wrinkles–all the misandry keeps my skin baby soft.
“BTW, I’m 41 and no wrinkles–all the misandry keeps my skin baby soft.”
I bet it provides you with a radiant glow as well!
The main message I got from this is that he thinks women deserve to be punished for not having sex with him.
Shiraz, the radiant glow is from all the sperm-jacking.
Hahahaha!
@Lady Stark: If you only listen to MRAs/MGTOWs and never venture outdoors it’s easy believe the misconception that people almost never form couples and that the human race is on the verge of extinction. Of course, a simple trip to Costco or anywhere IRL will immediately disabuse the average person of that misconception. Do these guys never go outside? //
I was thinking the same thing, how these guys keep warning us darkly that American culture is on the verge of collapse because no one is reproducing. In my workplace, everyone under 35 has had a baby in the last two years, while everyone over 55 has lost a parent. It’s an endless round of congratulations or condolences around here! (In other words, the Cycle of Life continues, at least at my office.)