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The Slut Who Got Ugly and Sad: The Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale

Manosphere dudes want every story to end like this.
Manosphere dudes want every story to end like this.

Gather ‘round the fire for yet another retelling of what may be the Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale. You know, the one about the evil ladies who have lots of sex with “bad boys” in their early twenties, only to panic a few years later and desperately try to attach themselves to hardworking beta schlubs once they realize that their looks are fading. You know, like that lady riding the rooster that alternates with the mammoth in the Man Boobz header graphic.

This particular version of the tale – posted to the perversely misnamed “Happy Bachelors” forum by a long-time MGTOWer called Outcast Superstar – somehow manages to avoid the phrase “cock carousel” entirely. But regular readers  will find the story familiar nonetheless.

Here, without further ado, is “Suckers Vs. Fuckers,” by Mr. Superstar.

[W]estern women love excitement and hate boredom. When they are in their teens and early 20’s, they don’t want stability that suckers have to offer because that is boring.

Gosh, who could imagine that anyone in their early twenties might be more interested in dating various people instead of settling down?

Keep in mind that women don’t think for themselves but decisions on who they date or sleep with is usually made by the council not by the woman herself. This council is usually made up of her mother, sister, and friends etc. If dating a nice guy is not considered to be fun and popular by the “council” he is going to get snubbed.

The fellows at South Park have provided us with a rare glimpse into the workings of these mysterious councils.

There is another group of guys called fuckers. Women love to have sex with these guys during their prime years. Although they offer no stability to these women, however women will still sleep with them. The reason why women will is because they are unpredictable and therefore they are deemed as very exciting.

Oh, but things change radically when these evil ladies start to … age.

Once these women get to there late 20’s – early 30’s they will fraudently sell their looks to suckers who make a good income in order to get married. In other words they will put on a pony show for them until they get the ring.

But as long as these ladies hold onto any of their youthful prettiness, they can still cause trouble.

After a few years of marriage, these women are going to get bored and everything is the suckers fault. They will look for affairs and cash out on their suckers knowing that they will get the house, child support (if they have children), and alimony. All she has to do is file a false abuse charge (no proof necessary) to make all this happen. Even as a bonus, the sucker even gets to pay for her attorney fees.

But ultimately these evil gals will get their comeuppance.

Despite there not being any legal justice in this country, Mother Nature has a justice of her own.

Those suckers who once ached for these women will lose interest in them once they get to be in their mid to late 20’s. The last thing they are going to find attractive are used up women in their late 20’s-30’s. In fact these women must be avoided at all cost. They got a disease called baby rabies. They are going to do everything possible to get pregnant and trap you into a long term relationship where they can get provided for.

Happily, western “suckers” can escape the clutches of these evil ladies. After all, western men have alternatives, in the form of foreign women and, er, model railroads?

[O]nce those “suckers” get financially stable they will get to travel to foreign countries and enjoy beautiful women. Also, while in the United States, they will have developed fun hobbies to do when they are not working. In fact these “suckers” will not have to deal with the stress of fear of divorce, a nagging whore, false abuse and rape chargers, get to keep their sanity and money, won’t have to worry about raising kid that aren’t theirs etc.

And so these so-called “suckers” can sit back and watch with pleasure as the ladies who refused to have sex with them in their younger years grow old and miserable at approximately twice the speed of the more-gracefully aging men.

[T]he women who neglected the “suckers” in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years are going to have to face justice. It’s not legal justice but Mother Nature justice. Once they get to their late 20’s for every year a man ages, they will be aging by two years. They will wrinkle and get ugly very fast. Investing thousands of dollars in makeup in order to form a bond with a “sucker” is not going to get the job done because they failed to form a bond with a “sucker” during their prime years. Their biological clocks will be ticking and they will get very desperate. They are going to want to be talking care off, like living off a “sucker” so they won’t have to work.

To interject for a moment, I believe that when Mr. Superstar refers to women who are “going to want to be talking care off,” what he means is that these women are “going to want to be taken care of.”

I’m reminded a bit of Kevin Kline’s teleprompter troubles in the movie Soapdish.

Oh, but Outcast Superstar isn’t quite done with his story yet:

Disgusted by their behavior, the “suckers” will not want anything to do with them and will rebuke them. They are going to have to work long hours for the rest of their life because they could not find a “sucker” to take care of them. They will whine and complain that the “suckers” will not commit despite them snubbing them in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years. They will rot all alone with no one to take care of them, many of them will not get to have children, and will be living very miserable lives until death all because they thought it was cute to let the “suckers” rot all alone while they go squander their prime years to the “fuckers” That my friends is what I call justice!

Um, that’s cool and all, but aren’t these ladies supposed to have cats?

You’re not telling the story right!

Outcast Superstar, tell us the story AGAIN. But with CATS!

NOTE: I found this lovely story after it was reposted on MarkyMark’s blog. After a fairly long period of inactivity, old MarkyMark is posting like there’s no tomorrow.

Image at the top borrowed from Comically Vintage.

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Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Search for one thing, find a French king…that works I guess? And yes, yours is much better!

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Or find a sweater like his that lends itself to photoshopping, at least. 😀

He’s like kitties, he is everywhere.

Speaking of kitties, I’m searching for a suitable pic of a rumpled, preferably red bedspread, and what do I find? A fancy red bedspread, velvet I think, and guess what’s ensconced on it … a kitty.

Typical, typical, typical …

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Lol, why of course!

Depending what you mean by rumpled, try ikea, they tend to have a variety of “this shit is lived in” rooms/furniture (*is totally biased* half my room is from ikea)

Oh! I got cute little hand bumpers for my bed side shelf, cuz handy coffee is good, banging head on corners is not…so now my handy coffee has protective hands. They did not have misandrist (female) (whore) penguins however. BUT! I saw $7~ padded chair cushions, which could’ve saved Tom “my delicate bum” Martin £32,000 (well, more like £31,990? XD )

Kitteh please tell me you’ve read enough old threads to know about Martin’s delicate backside?

Kittehserf
11 years ago

LOL oh yes, I know about the evils of HARD CHAIRS and where that came from! 😀

How do those hand bumpers work? Are they things you put on the corners of tables to protect yourself from the corners? I could do with those on … well, just about every table in the place.

I’m thinking rumpled as in nobody-made-the-bed. I’ve a template of Mr K sitting up in bed, but the background and the bedcover are nothing like ours, so I’m looking for suitable bits to make a full pastiche. Needs to be something I can make a reasonably convincing draped-over-the-knees look from. I’ve yet to try searching “man sitting in bed” to see what I can find that way.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Yep! (They’ve also got an alligator shower mat, the no skid sort, in the kids section)

Kittehserf
11 years ago

That’s so cuuuute! And practical. 🙂

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@kittehs

I hope he is drunk. It read like the usual sort of BS one sees whenever animals being hurt are mentioned, the basic “animals don’t matter, only humans matter” crap.

Yeah. Just because humans matter more doesn’t mean you can’t care about animals.

KittySnide
11 years ago

hello MB commenters!
I am delurking, just to say I think I get Buntzum’s “Sharon, Lois, and Charles Manson” thing, though it really doesn’t make much sense.

Sharon, Lois, and Bram were a Canadian musical group for kids, and for a while they had a show on CBC called “Sharon, Lois, and Bram’s Elephant Show” and it was about the three of them, and their friends who were neighbourhood kids, and their other friend who was an anthropomorphic elephant named Elephant. they would go on neighbourhood adventures (to the petting zoo! to the local antique store! to a baseball game!), and sing songs, and solve problems/learn lessons. their most famous song is probably “Skinnamarink” (“Skinnamarinky dinky dink, skinnamarinky doo… I looooove yoooou…).
oh! and also on the show they had a friend named Eric Nagler and he played the banjo and the spoons, and now the real Eric Nagler lives in Northern-ish Ontario with his wife, and they own a banjo-and-unique-items store and also run relationship workshops for poly people.

I have no idea what any of that has to do with Charles Manson though.

KittySnide
11 years ago

also here is the intro to the show. it was my FAVOURITE when I was wee, and whenever the intro would start I would go “Heavy!” (which was what I though elephants were called) and would run up to kiss my elephant friends on the screen.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@KittySnide

Hello and welcome 😀

Also, do you just not post much, or is this your first time delurking? For some reason my brain thinks you are familiar.

KittySnide
11 years ago

Hi Marie!
I posted in a thread a while ago, I think it was the one with the dude whose girlfriend wanted to be raptured and then I made a couple of Narnia jokes?
I am one of those people who is like “I really like this community! I should try to participate more!” but then don’t as much as I would like to.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@kittysnide

Well at least I know where I know you from now XD (I was lurking in that time.)

Anyway, welcome again anyways 😀

KittySnide
11 years ago

oh and around Valentine’s Day! I was showing off the Doctor Who jewelry Mr. Snide gave me!

KittySnide
11 years ago

thank you! it’s always nice to de-lurk!

hope you are having a nice day!

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@kittysnide

You too 🙂

My days fine, though I’m slightly bored XD Need to get around to doing things…::sighs::

KittySnide
11 years ago

I hear you! Mr. Snide and I went to a wedding last night (ps there was a make-your-own-mini-hamburger bar set up around 11 to give everyone a second wind for more dancy times. BRILLIANT) and today I’ve got some awful throat/head cold thing going on so my Sunday plans went from “Go for a run! Make latkes Benedict!” to “Drink hot water with lemon and honey and watch Score!: A Hockey Musical.”

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@kittysnide

Aw 🙁 Well I hope you feel better soon.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Hi KittySnide!

“oh and around Valentine’s Day! I was showing off the Doctor Who jewelry Mr. Snide gave me!”

I can’t remember if I saw that or not. Would you like to post it again? I’d love to see it! 🙂

KittySnide
11 years ago

hi Kittehserf! I like your new name!

I can totally post them again! 🙂

http://24.media.tumblr.com/d0d5c240c5e1d35be9f81902d62029c0/tumblr_mi8b8vMDWk1qzv1j7o1_1280.jpg

Kittehserf
11 years ago

KittySnide – thank you! 🙂

And WHOA those are so good. I do remember seeing them before, I think.

Yubel
Yubel
11 years ago

What about those women who never want to have kids anyway, like me? I am in my twenties and am not interested in luring a man in – in fact they can stay as far away from me as possible. I don’t need to be taken care of, I will do that myself, thank you.

timetravellingfool
11 years ago

Omg, Kittysnide, that was on right before thundercats!!!!!I loved that show!!!!

KittySnide
11 years ago

!!!
right?!?!
I LOVED my Elephant Show. like, a lot. I am planning a lil trip up to Eric Nagler’s store this summer!

KittySnide
11 years ago

ps timetravellingfool, did you also love Fred Penner?

jonatma420
jonatma420
11 years ago

What goes around comes around skanks! Where are all your loser bad boys now?