Gather ‘round the fire for yet another retelling of what may be the Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale. You know, the one about the evil ladies who have lots of sex with “bad boys” in their early twenties, only to panic a few years later and desperately try to attach themselves to hardworking beta schlubs once they realize that their looks are fading. You know, like that lady riding the rooster that alternates with the mammoth in the Man Boobz header graphic.
This particular version of the tale – posted to the perversely misnamed “Happy Bachelors” forum by a long-time MGTOWer called Outcast Superstar – somehow manages to avoid the phrase “cock carousel” entirely. But regular readers will find the story familiar nonetheless.
Here, without further ado, is “Suckers Vs. Fuckers,” by Mr. Superstar.
[W]estern women love excitement and hate boredom. When they are in their teens and early 20’s, they don’t want stability that suckers have to offer because that is boring.
Gosh, who could imagine that anyone in their early twenties might be more interested in dating various people instead of settling down?
Keep in mind that women don’t think for themselves but decisions on who they date or sleep with is usually made by the council not by the woman herself. This council is usually made up of her mother, sister, and friends etc. If dating a nice guy is not considered to be fun and popular by the “council” he is going to get snubbed.
The fellows at South Park have provided us with a rare glimpse into the workings of these mysterious councils.
There is another group of guys called fuckers. Women love to have sex with these guys during their prime years. Although they offer no stability to these women, however women will still sleep with them. The reason why women will is because they are unpredictable and therefore they are deemed as very exciting.
Oh, but things change radically when these evil ladies start to … age.
Once these women get to there late 20’s – early 30’s they will fraudently sell their looks to suckers who make a good income in order to get married. In other words they will put on a pony show for them until they get the ring.
But as long as these ladies hold onto any of their youthful prettiness, they can still cause trouble.
After a few years of marriage, these women are going to get bored and everything is the suckers fault. They will look for affairs and cash out on their suckers knowing that they will get the house, child support (if they have children), and alimony. All she has to do is file a false abuse charge (no proof necessary) to make all this happen. Even as a bonus, the sucker even gets to pay for her attorney fees.
But ultimately these evil gals will get their comeuppance.
Despite there not being any legal justice in this country, Mother Nature has a justice of her own.
Those suckers who once ached for these women will lose interest in them once they get to be in their mid to late 20’s. The last thing they are going to find attractive are used up women in their late 20’s-30’s. In fact these women must be avoided at all cost. They got a disease called baby rabies. They are going to do everything possible to get pregnant and trap you into a long term relationship where they can get provided for.
Happily, western “suckers” can escape the clutches of these evil ladies. After all, western men have alternatives, in the form of foreign women and, er, model railroads?
[O]nce those “suckers” get financially stable they will get to travel to foreign countries and enjoy beautiful women. Also, while in the United States, they will have developed fun hobbies to do when they are not working. In fact these “suckers” will not have to deal with the stress of fear of divorce, a nagging whore, false abuse and rape chargers, get to keep their sanity and money, won’t have to worry about raising kid that aren’t theirs etc.
And so these so-called “suckers” can sit back and watch with pleasure as the ladies who refused to have sex with them in their younger years grow old and miserable at approximately twice the speed of the more-gracefully aging men.
[T]he women who neglected the “suckers” in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years are going to have to face justice. It’s not legal justice but Mother Nature justice. Once they get to their late 20’s for every year a man ages, they will be aging by two years. They will wrinkle and get ugly very fast. Investing thousands of dollars in makeup in order to form a bond with a “sucker” is not going to get the job done because they failed to form a bond with a “sucker” during their prime years. Their biological clocks will be ticking and they will get very desperate. They are going to want to be talking care off, like living off a “sucker” so they won’t have to work.
To interject for a moment, I believe that when Mr. Superstar refers to women who are “going to want to be talking care off,” what he means is that these women are “going to want to be taken care of.”
I’m reminded a bit of Kevin Kline’s teleprompter troubles in the movie Soapdish.
Oh, but Outcast Superstar isn’t quite done with his story yet:
Disgusted by their behavior, the “suckers” will not want anything to do with them and will rebuke them. They are going to have to work long hours for the rest of their life because they could not find a “sucker” to take care of them. They will whine and complain that the “suckers” will not commit despite them snubbing them in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years. They will rot all alone with no one to take care of them, many of them will not get to have children, and will be living very miserable lives until death all because they thought it was cute to let the “suckers” rot all alone while they go squander their prime years to the “fuckers” That my friends is what I call justice!
Um, that’s cool and all, but aren’t these ladies supposed to have cats?
You’re not telling the story right!
Outcast Superstar, tell us the story AGAIN. But with CATS!
NOTE: I found this lovely story after it was reposted on MarkyMark’s blog. After a fairly long period of inactivity, old MarkyMark is posting like there’s no tomorrow.
Image at the top borrowed from Comically Vintage.
I had two guinea pigs from a breeder, and they were pretty small. They had really good health though; both lived till the age of eight, and that’s quite a lot for a guinea pig.
The last non-canine pet we had was a rabbit I got from an old lady I met when I worked in the home-service (nursing old and/or disabled people in their homes). The lady in question had alzeimers and eventually had to move to a nursing home where she couldn’t bring her rabbit, so me and husband took her (the rabbit that is, not the lady). This little rabbit had quite a fierce temper, and was very energetic. I used to walk her on a leash to exercise her. Once she managed to escape our yard, but she came back again, fortunately. She lived till age ten, when she suddenly died in her sleep.
She was really tiny for a rabbit, had the tiniest little ears ever, mostly short coat except for a big lion’s mane and a kind of skirt of long fur around her hips. I have no idea where she originated from. The old lady had taken care of her after her grandchildren tired of the poor thing and wanted to just ditch her somewhere.
This makes me remember when we got our dog from a breeder. I was like, 5 at the time, and just obsessed over the idea of getting a PUPPPYYY!!!! (in five year old voice). But the breeder had us (okay, mostly my parents)sit around near all of the puppies and see which ones meshed best with us. She also told us the best brand of food to get for them, so breeders definitely do provide more service.
Frankly, that’s as much as I can remember from a breeder, though. ALl of the adorable fuzzly norwegian elkhound puppies….
We have mutant (Devon Rex) cats because of my dad’s allergies so we had to get them from a breeder, since they are a rare breed and almost never show up at rescues. We had to promise to give them back to the breeders if we couldn’t take care of them. One of them was actually a former breeder, three years old when we got her, and the other was “pet quality”. One of them had kitty herpes and passed it on to the other, but otherwise they are in fine health, and both are in their teens by now.
I know one of the local pet stores near my house leases space to a rescue (cats, I think, for space reasons). I think that is more moral, because the rescue is likely to do more checking and it isn’t like they’re making money off the animals.
@wordsp1nner
I know the petsmart near us has that thing where the rescue people get a place, they have cats there too.
Agreed! Except for parrots, who imo shouldn’t be kept as pets (aside from already-caged parrots who need homes, of course – and there are way, way too many of those). I absolutely adore parrots and would adopt some myself if I thought I could give them the care and attention they need, but they’re wild animals and no human, however well-intentioned, can adequately meet their needs. I have a whole rant on parrots, but I’ll refer interested parties to Of Parrots and People by Mira Tweti.
As for other animals: adopt, adopt, adopt! If you don’t care what breed, go to a shelter! It varies by location, but the one I volunteer with in Boston has any kind of animal you could want (we had button quail last month!). If you think there’s a specific breed that would be the best fit for your home, google “[breed] rescue” – pretty much every species and breed has people dedicated to fostering and rehoming its homeless. Also, lots of shelters and rescues in the US use petfinder.com, where you can search by breed, location, and various other conditions.
I hate that pet stores exist – there are enough pets for everyone in the shelter system already, and pet stores just add more, like pouring water into a boat while we’re trying to bail it out. Every “new” pet that’s purchased leaves one of millions of “used” pets unadopted. And stores, especially the big chains really don’t seem to care much about the welfare of the animals – selling dangerous or inhumane products, selling animals for a bulk discount, training their employees poorly or requiring them to push certain products… Not to mention that the very existence of pet stores encourages impulse buying and teaches people that animals are just another consumer good.
Sorry. I’ll stop ranting now.
Huh, guess you can’t underline in WordPress. Damn you, WordPress, I want to do my book titles MLA style!
Well, I like that you can buy pet supplies from pet stores…not sure where else I’d get them.
I’ve used PetSmart to home a rescue we had (my former housemate does TNR, and we had this beautiful long haired grey. If I could have kept her, I would, but my partner is allergic to cats). We found her a great home, and kept in touch.
Yeah I wouldn’t buy a cat or dog from a pet store (and was like 12 when I had the mice, in hindsight, I’d probably at least attempt to find a breeder). Fish wise though? So many, especially salt water, are imported that it’d just be absolute chaos to try dealing with importation on an individual basis. My loaches are wild caught fish for example (and yeah, it’s a bit ethically dicey, the wild caught bit) — you can’t just breed them.
And fish breeders…I haz a wary. They “cull” “unacceptable” stock.…what pecunium was saying about not breeding mice with unacceptable behavior, except killing them instead of isolating them. Except for cichlid breeders, I’ve never heard of breeders breeding for more variety, it’s shit like my long finned danios — longer finned fish bred with longer finned fish over and over again. And fuck, those fancy goldfish? I want to have words with their breeders. None of the shit would stop if you had to go directly to the breeder. Only thing it might prevent would be dye injected fish.
I am really not pleased that there aren’t any non-chain fish stores up here. Pittsburgh’s got at least end and the guy knew his stuff. Like, he was as displeased as I was to be seeing smaller and smaller clown loaches, they just don’t survive the way adults do. And they’re pretty much all I can find up here. And did breed at least the piranhas, teeny tiny piranhas are ADORABLE (I will eat your hand…once I finish filling up in your hangnail)
Oh and fuck yes do you need to research your fish before you buy them! My brother is still pissed I vetoed most of his “I want that!”…”that will eat everything else in the tank, no”
Meanwhile my mother’s been picking the fish for the downstairs tank via “you can pick from these, those, those, these, and ask about anything that looks similar” — she’s fallen for peppermint tetras. Cute little things, and so much easier to care for than my usual selections!
Argenti: I was being elliptical. We were breeding both snakes and mice; it was synergystic.
Funny, the things I’ve bred (intentionally)
Snakes
Mice
Rats
Chickens
Guinea Pigs
Mules
Bettas
Lotsa plants.
@argenti aertheri
Those sound adorable <3
Also, dye injected fish? 🙁 what happens with that?
Yeah I kinda figured the unacceptable mice got fed to the snakes, but culled fish are just killed, straight out, dumped like garbage. I could never own anything needing live food, but I get that plenty of creatures eat living things (and am somehow okay with bottom feeders that eat dead things)
Marie — one sec, I need to find you an article. And you aren’t going to like it.
http://www.fishlore.com/aquariummagazine/may08/dyedfish.htm
Glo fish are genetically modified though (a combo of cloning and IVF methods basically at this point they just breed that way like any other danio coloring…well mostly, they aren’t all danios 🙂 )
@argenti aertheri
Thanks for link 🙂 Reading it right now.
Poor fishies 🙁
Super duper poor fishies 🙁 🙁
I didn’t even know fish dye-ing was a thing, now I’m feeling all sorry for the poor fishies.
I’m not even game to read that link, the excerpts Marie quoted were bad enough. 🙁
Puppy farms are a problem here, too, and that’s largely why I’d like to see pet shops banned from selling dogs (and kittens, and any other animals where this sort of factory breeding happens). The RSPCA campaigns against it but I don’t think the governments give a damn.
All our kitties since the 60s have been adopted. Three were dumped in our yards, two as kittens, Abbey, about a year old and heavily pregnant, Tom just left by his scumbag owners, our neighbours, when they moved out, and Hadji was an alley cat lost by his mum. The others came from the Lost Dogs’ Home, Lort Smith Hospital, RSPCA and Keysborough animal shelter.
Gather round children. It’s Sharon, Lois and Charles Manson.
wtf was that supposed to mean?
That Buntzums is drunk? I really don’t know, Lois has no Charles Manson significance I can place, which makes me think he doesn’t mean Sharon Tate but is just listed names or something (or maybe one of his groupies was named Lois? Been awhile since I read Helter Skelter)
My vote’s on drunk.
But is just listing
Or
But just listed
I have no idea which I meant, but that combination is unacceptable.
I hope he is drunk. It read like the usual sort of BS one sees whenever animals being hurt are mentioned, the basic “animals don’t matter, only humans matter” crap.
Kitteh I just tried googling Charles Manson Lois since my brain isn’t a perfect sponge, and got this — http://losjuevos.wordpress.com/2009/04/14/eggs-of-history-62/
Manson and Louis XIII as eggs!
That has to win the Weird prize of the night!
But I think I’ll stick to the type of image I just completed. Got to love serendipity: searching for something quite different and found this sweater. 🙂