Gather ‘round the fire for yet another retelling of what may be the Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale. You know, the one about the evil ladies who have lots of sex with “bad boys” in their early twenties, only to panic a few years later and desperately try to attach themselves to hardworking beta schlubs once they realize that their looks are fading. You know, like that lady riding the rooster that alternates with the mammoth in the Man Boobz header graphic.
This particular version of the tale – posted to the perversely misnamed “Happy Bachelors” forum by a long-time MGTOWer called Outcast Superstar – somehow manages to avoid the phrase “cock carousel” entirely. But regular readers will find the story familiar nonetheless.
Here, without further ado, is “Suckers Vs. Fuckers,” by Mr. Superstar.
[W]estern women love excitement and hate boredom. When they are in their teens and early 20’s, they don’t want stability that suckers have to offer because that is boring.
Gosh, who could imagine that anyone in their early twenties might be more interested in dating various people instead of settling down?
Keep in mind that women don’t think for themselves but decisions on who they date or sleep with is usually made by the council not by the woman herself. This council is usually made up of her mother, sister, and friends etc. If dating a nice guy is not considered to be fun and popular by the “council” he is going to get snubbed.
The fellows at South Park have provided us with a rare glimpse into the workings of these mysterious councils.
There is another group of guys called fuckers. Women love to have sex with these guys during their prime years. Although they offer no stability to these women, however women will still sleep with them. The reason why women will is because they are unpredictable and therefore they are deemed as very exciting.
Oh, but things change radically when these evil ladies start to … age.
Once these women get to there late 20’s – early 30’s they will fraudently sell their looks to suckers who make a good income in order to get married. In other words they will put on a pony show for them until they get the ring.
But as long as these ladies hold onto any of their youthful prettiness, they can still cause trouble.
After a few years of marriage, these women are going to get bored and everything is the suckers fault. They will look for affairs and cash out on their suckers knowing that they will get the house, child support (if they have children), and alimony. All she has to do is file a false abuse charge (no proof necessary) to make all this happen. Even as a bonus, the sucker even gets to pay for her attorney fees.
But ultimately these evil gals will get their comeuppance.
Despite there not being any legal justice in this country, Mother Nature has a justice of her own.
Those suckers who once ached for these women will lose interest in them once they get to be in their mid to late 20’s. The last thing they are going to find attractive are used up women in their late 20’s-30’s. In fact these women must be avoided at all cost. They got a disease called baby rabies. They are going to do everything possible to get pregnant and trap you into a long term relationship where they can get provided for.
Happily, western “suckers” can escape the clutches of these evil ladies. After all, western men have alternatives, in the form of foreign women and, er, model railroads?
[O]nce those “suckers” get financially stable they will get to travel to foreign countries and enjoy beautiful women. Also, while in the United States, they will have developed fun hobbies to do when they are not working. In fact these “suckers” will not have to deal with the stress of fear of divorce, a nagging whore, false abuse and rape chargers, get to keep their sanity and money, won’t have to worry about raising kid that aren’t theirs etc.
And so these so-called “suckers” can sit back and watch with pleasure as the ladies who refused to have sex with them in their younger years grow old and miserable at approximately twice the speed of the more-gracefully aging men.
[T]he women who neglected the “suckers” in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years are going to have to face justice. It’s not legal justice but Mother Nature justice. Once they get to their late 20’s for every year a man ages, they will be aging by two years. They will wrinkle and get ugly very fast. Investing thousands of dollars in makeup in order to form a bond with a “sucker” is not going to get the job done because they failed to form a bond with a “sucker” during their prime years. Their biological clocks will be ticking and they will get very desperate. They are going to want to be talking care off, like living off a “sucker” so they won’t have to work.
To interject for a moment, I believe that when Mr. Superstar refers to women who are “going to want to be talking care off,” what he means is that these women are “going to want to be taken care of.”
I’m reminded a bit of Kevin Kline’s teleprompter troubles in the movie Soapdish.
Oh, but Outcast Superstar isn’t quite done with his story yet:
Disgusted by their behavior, the “suckers” will not want anything to do with them and will rebuke them. They are going to have to work long hours for the rest of their life because they could not find a “sucker” to take care of them. They will whine and complain that the “suckers” will not commit despite them snubbing them in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years. They will rot all alone with no one to take care of them, many of them will not get to have children, and will be living very miserable lives until death all because they thought it was cute to let the “suckers” rot all alone while they go squander their prime years to the “fuckers” That my friends is what I call justice!
Um, that’s cool and all, but aren’t these ladies supposed to have cats?
You’re not telling the story right!
Outcast Superstar, tell us the story AGAIN. But with CATS!
NOTE: I found this lovely story after it was reposted on MarkyMark’s blog. After a fairly long period of inactivity, old MarkyMark is posting like there’s no tomorrow.
Image at the top borrowed from Comically Vintage.
“How much more common? Because the only place I see it is in FOFOF stories in places like Cosmo (which have the, “something is wrong with you, let us fix it”) and MRAs.”
Well, there you go. I hear this story from the MRM all the time. Give them credit for creating a male-friendly space, to discuss misandry and other male issues such as hypergamy.
@Marie – my comment about Vitamin D deficiency was a joke, and I apologised when WeeBoy said what it actually does. If I’d known that, I wouldn’t have made the joke. I was thinking of the MRAs not getting out + MRAs being such confused idiots + lack of Vitamin D from sunlight, hence the (failed!) joke question.
@bahumbugi – OMG that deflated doll is so funny, and “should have listened to Pierre” even more so! katz draws the Pierre comics, have you seen the link in the sidebar? That doll looks just like what the MRAs seem to think women look like. My theory is proven!
Bunny having a cavort – too funny. 😀
Tinfoil kitty repellant – ditto!
I’m really enjoying the conversation about rabbits and mice and rats and hamsters and all, I know little about them.
Yes, cat health trumps the welcome package. Though they do seem to enjoy a nice cushion on a hard chair (making them about a million times smarter than Tom Martin)
Pecunium — lol of course a breeder is better at sexing their animals than a pet store! Weird that mice have a stage where that’s easy-ish before they mature, but no nipples makes sense. Really hard to do in fish until they’re mature, and some species it’s still impossible…and goddamnit I keep managing to get a male and two females and would they please leave the ladies alone, neither is interested dude!…well, except the cories, but Goat isn’t interested because she just laid you some damned eggs…well, probably Goat? We’ll see if they’re albinos?…is that a dominant trait or can two albino cories have colored babies?
Yes, I have a fish named Goat, it’s a long story.
I prefer fish, generally speaking the solution to fighting males is to get more females so they aren’t competing for the same lady fish. Of course, more ladies than gents just seems to make the gent all “you? No? How about you? No? Let me chase the first one again!” …or maybe my tetra gent is justs a randy boy, it is spring.
/fish ramble, sorry, y’all know I can’t stop once I start 🙂
Argenti – we used to have a joke at work about subsituting the word Goat for Boat on the phone and seeing how long it took people to notice.
Whenever I’m listing off things, I like to mess with people by switching between a numbered list and a lettered list. “The reasons we should do this are A) it’s a good idea, 2) so-and-so thinks we should do it, C) ….” that sort of thing. No one’s mentioned it yet.
The interesting thing about sexing baby mice is that it’s a matter of anal/genital difference. The reason breeders are better is they get to see the result (it’s a small difference).
The odd thing is that a newborn female mouse has more protrusive genitals than a male, but it’s closer to the anus.
But by the time they are adult,the males have obvious testicles, so the pet store ought to be able to tell. They are also much more pungent/musky.
Pecunium — they weren’t adults yet because yeah, not to be crass or cliche, but holy fuck do mice have big balls. Also, petco. That place that continues to say that plecs get to be “upwards of 6″” — mine’s a foot, I’ve seen bigger. What I haven’t seen is one <10" that was mature.
Actually, maybe I should’ve just gone with that. Don’t buy pets at petco.
Damn you, petco! A guy I dated had 3 petco hamsters all die in weeks, one of them from wet tail 🙁
What I recall from PetCo was, “Sex cannot be guaranteed”, but they charged 30 bucks for a female guinea pig, and 25 for a male.
I got pissy and said they better not charge me for a female then, or I’d sue their ass if it was male. Since I could tell the difference (we were also breeding guinea pigs), I was damned if they were gonna charge extra.
Oddly enough, inside of two weeks their had been a price change,and they were all the same price.
My opinion is that no animals should be sold in pet stores. In Sweden you’re not allowed to sell dogs and cats in pet stores, but they do sell smaller animals there. It should be the case that if you wanted a pet, you actively had to either go to a rescue place or a small-scale breeder, and have people check you up before they sold you the pet.
I wish we had no pet stores selling animals!
It does make sense with, say, fish.
Btw, regarding the original subject of this post – I vaguely remember some troll here who thought that me and Hellkell, ex-sluts now happily married, had lied to our husbands about our slutty past and hoped desperately that they’d never find out. Because obviously nobody would knowingly marry a slut.
@kittehs
Sorry, I must have missed your apology. Anyway, thanks for it. Just getting all emotional and rambly.
@questioning feminism
I think it would not be very male friendly to men who aren’t assholes, but w/e.
Also, why do trolls have such obvious names? There was AverageFrustratedChump on the other thread and now Questioning feminism. This way they won’t trick us into believing them by trying to disguise themselves as not mras XD.
@argenti aertheri
So do rats, I think. But I wouldn’t know, I’ve only had female rats, but I’ve had one male mouse (my first non-fish pet. I loved that mouse. <3)
Is petsmart any better than petco with that? Just curious, cuz I’ve bought some pets at petsmart ::blushes:: (actually I think my fish were at petco but that was ages ago).
@katz
🙁 Poor hamsters.
Now I’m wondering what’s wrong with pet stores. Though maybe I’m a little touchy cuz I’ve gotten so many from pet stores. The only place I’ve found to buy pets from a breeder is almost an hour away, I think, and I’ve only gotten rats from them.
Marie: I’ve also gotten pets from pet stores in the past. The reasons I nowaday think the world would be better without pet stores are
a) Even if both you and me had thought things through properly before we got pets from pet stores, lots of people buy pets there more or less on impulse. Then end up tiring of the pet, and just ditch the poor creature somewhere.
A small-scale breeder has a different opportunity to try to get to know the person they sell an animal to a bit, see if zie seems responsible, know what zie’s getting herself into when taking responsibility for a pet and so on, and can keep in touch with the person afterwards to see that everything works out. All dog breeders I’ve bought a dog from have been like that. I know that not all pet breeders are, but in a perfect world they would be… when it comes to pet store staff, they CAN’T check up on people before they sell them animals, and can’t possibly keep in touch with them afterwards. This, for me, is the really big reason.
Look at the USA; there’s a real problem there with abandoned dogs. Look at Sweden, where dogs aren’t sold in pet stores; the biggest dog rescue in Stockholm re-home a couple of hundred dogs a year. That’s a HUGE difference, and I think that difference is mainly due to people rarely buying dogs on an impulse here, which in turn depends on them not being sold in pet stores.
b) A store is hardly an ideal environment for a pet anyway. Noisy, lots of people coming and going all the time. That’s even assuming the animals have sufficiently large cages; they do in some places, but often they’re kept in fairly crowded conditions, which is understandable considering stores have limited space.
c) Many breeders who sell pets to stores keep their breeding animals in far from stellar conditions, since the buyers won’t see them anyway, and since such breeders usually just breed for money rather than taking a real interest in the animals.
Sure, finding a breeder might be inconvenient, but it’s really not that big a deal considering you don’t get a new pet that often.
Sorry, I checked the webpage of Hundstallet, the dog rescue I was referring to, and it’s about one hundred, not a couple of hundreds, dogs a year that they get new homes for. In a city of nearly two million people. I’m pretty certain that if you could buy puppies in pet stores the situation would be VERY different.
@Dvärghundspossen
Didn’t know about the breeding conditions 🙁
I’ve seen pics from American dog breeders who sell to pet stores and it’s really horrible, gallons of dogs kept in tiny cages, and bitches forced to get pregnant, give birth, get pregnant, give birth, over and over again until they’re completely worn out. No dog breeder would get customers directly to zir house if zie kept zir dogs like that… would totally scare the customers off. But zie can still sell to pet stores.
There’s probably less of a difference if you look at breeders of rabbits, guinea pigs and the like, simply because we tend to accept them being kept in cages that are really way too small and so on, so even if customers came to your house, a rabbit or guinea pig breeder could probably get away with treating them pretty poorly… But in my utopia, all pets would be well cared for, and all breeders would really check up the people they sell to and keep in touch afterwards.
Me and husband once had an absolutely adorable little rabbit bought from a pet store. She was so friendly that she was more like a little dog than a rabbit, personality-wise. However, when she was a couple of years old she started to go blind. Eventually she got cancer, and had to be put down after some unsuccessful treatment. The vet said she was probably severely inbred, since that blindness problem was typical of very inbred rabbits. We told the staff at the pet store (who were very nice, btw, although I’m against stores selling pets I have nothing against the people working there), who got in touch with the breeder, but the breeder couldn’t give any info on the family history of this rabbit. Which suggests to me that zie basically had loads of rabbits breeding away and didn’t really care for them properly.
@Dvärghundspossen
Thanks for info. Now I’m feeling all guilty for buying pets from pet stores. 🙁 Not planning on doing it again though, now that I know.
Marie, as I’ve said, I’ve bought from pet stores too in the past… You live and learn.
Marie, it varies a lot from store to store. There’s a small pet store near my parents where we got any number of animals as a kid and they were all healthy and happy, and a good pet store will be willing to tell you where they get their animals from. But places like petco are just going to get them from mills, of course.
Well, in terms of health I think our rabbit was an exception. Even if you keep your breeding animals in less than stellar conditions they will probably come out more healthy than ill on average. Still, shows that the breeder weren’t all that great – and it’s was a very reputable pet store we got her from.
Anyway, regardless of breeding conditions, I’m convinced that we can’t get rid of the problem of people buying pets on an impulse and then ditching them when they tire of them unless we stop selling pets in stores. Obviously that alone won’t solve everything, but I think it’s a necessary part.
And, of course, most people haven’t a clue where you’d get a mouse or hamster from a breeder (but I do!). But if you do, you will be amazed at the difference! They’re seriously twice the size of pet store animals, have great personalities, and they come in the awesomest varieties.
Also it’s hilarious watching a judge go over the breed standards with this bitty little thing running over her hands XD
And they still only cost $5-$10 because, at the end of the day, it’s still a mouse.