Gather ‘round the fire for yet another retelling of what may be the Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale. You know, the one about the evil ladies who have lots of sex with “bad boys” in their early twenties, only to panic a few years later and desperately try to attach themselves to hardworking beta schlubs once they realize that their looks are fading. You know, like that lady riding the rooster that alternates with the mammoth in the Man Boobz header graphic.
This particular version of the tale – posted to the perversely misnamed “Happy Bachelors” forum by a long-time MGTOWer called Outcast Superstar – somehow manages to avoid the phrase “cock carousel” entirely. But regular readers will find the story familiar nonetheless.
Here, without further ado, is “Suckers Vs. Fuckers,” by Mr. Superstar.
[W]estern women love excitement and hate boredom. When they are in their teens and early 20’s, they don’t want stability that suckers have to offer because that is boring.
Gosh, who could imagine that anyone in their early twenties might be more interested in dating various people instead of settling down?
Keep in mind that women don’t think for themselves but decisions on who they date or sleep with is usually made by the council not by the woman herself. This council is usually made up of her mother, sister, and friends etc. If dating a nice guy is not considered to be fun and popular by the “council” he is going to get snubbed.
The fellows at South Park have provided us with a rare glimpse into the workings of these mysterious councils.
There is another group of guys called fuckers. Women love to have sex with these guys during their prime years. Although they offer no stability to these women, however women will still sleep with them. The reason why women will is because they are unpredictable and therefore they are deemed as very exciting.
Oh, but things change radically when these evil ladies start to … age.
Once these women get to there late 20’s – early 30’s they will fraudently sell their looks to suckers who make a good income in order to get married. In other words they will put on a pony show for them until they get the ring.
But as long as these ladies hold onto any of their youthful prettiness, they can still cause trouble.
After a few years of marriage, these women are going to get bored and everything is the suckers fault. They will look for affairs and cash out on their suckers knowing that they will get the house, child support (if they have children), and alimony. All she has to do is file a false abuse charge (no proof necessary) to make all this happen. Even as a bonus, the sucker even gets to pay for her attorney fees.
But ultimately these evil gals will get their comeuppance.
Despite there not being any legal justice in this country, Mother Nature has a justice of her own.
Those suckers who once ached for these women will lose interest in them once they get to be in their mid to late 20’s. The last thing they are going to find attractive are used up women in their late 20’s-30’s. In fact these women must be avoided at all cost. They got a disease called baby rabies. They are going to do everything possible to get pregnant and trap you into a long term relationship where they can get provided for.
Happily, western “suckers” can escape the clutches of these evil ladies. After all, western men have alternatives, in the form of foreign women and, er, model railroads?
[O]nce those “suckers” get financially stable they will get to travel to foreign countries and enjoy beautiful women. Also, while in the United States, they will have developed fun hobbies to do when they are not working. In fact these “suckers” will not have to deal with the stress of fear of divorce, a nagging whore, false abuse and rape chargers, get to keep their sanity and money, won’t have to worry about raising kid that aren’t theirs etc.
And so these so-called “suckers” can sit back and watch with pleasure as the ladies who refused to have sex with them in their younger years grow old and miserable at approximately twice the speed of the more-gracefully aging men.
[T]he women who neglected the “suckers” in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years are going to have to face justice. It’s not legal justice but Mother Nature justice. Once they get to their late 20’s for every year a man ages, they will be aging by two years. They will wrinkle and get ugly very fast. Investing thousands of dollars in makeup in order to form a bond with a “sucker” is not going to get the job done because they failed to form a bond with a “sucker” during their prime years. Their biological clocks will be ticking and they will get very desperate. They are going to want to be talking care off, like living off a “sucker” so they won’t have to work.
To interject for a moment, I believe that when Mr. Superstar refers to women who are “going to want to be talking care off,” what he means is that these women are “going to want to be taken care of.”
I’m reminded a bit of Kevin Kline’s teleprompter troubles in the movie Soapdish.
Oh, but Outcast Superstar isn’t quite done with his story yet:
Disgusted by their behavior, the “suckers” will not want anything to do with them and will rebuke them. They are going to have to work long hours for the rest of their life because they could not find a “sucker” to take care of them. They will whine and complain that the “suckers” will not commit despite them snubbing them in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years. They will rot all alone with no one to take care of them, many of them will not get to have children, and will be living very miserable lives until death all because they thought it was cute to let the “suckers” rot all alone while they go squander their prime years to the “fuckers” That my friends is what I call justice!
Um, that’s cool and all, but aren’t these ladies supposed to have cats?
You’re not telling the story right!
Outcast Superstar, tell us the story AGAIN. But with CATS!
NOTE: I found this lovely story after it was reposted on MarkyMark’s blog. After a fairly long period of inactivity, old MarkyMark is posting like there’s no tomorrow.
Image at the top borrowed from Comically Vintage.
If you only listen to MRAs/MGTOWs and never venture outdoors it’s easy believe the misconception that people almost never form couples and that the human race is on the verge of extinction. Of course, a simple trip to Costco or anywhere IRL will immediately disabuse the average person of that misconception. Do these guys never go outside?
No, Lady, they never go outside…their own sick heads that is.
“Talking Care off”–now that’s a good idea. With a good therapist or with positive affirmations.
The only “suckers” are the MRAs, who are the ones sucked in by this cretinous fantasy, and the ones who hate the idea that women have lives (and, shock horror, sex lives) of their own. Men with, y’know, sense and humanity and all that stuff, don’t fall for this load of old codology.
It’s a real mirror-image: the Miserable Reactionary Assholes are the ones likely to end up alone against their will.
I’ll say it’s their favorite fairy tale. Cripes, I often wonder when they “learn” this story. Like, while the girls are herded into another classroom to watch a film about the menstration cycle, are the boys gathered together to watch a film about how women age in dog years — ’cause, ’cause, ’cause SCIENCE — and it will help thinking of this when/if your love life doesn’t turn out the way you think it should. Because all men shall have their revenge, heheheh!
I mean shit, even Ambrose Pierce indulged in that crap.
I remember back in college during a sociology class, a fellow student started spouting off nonsense about how wrinkles on men are distinguished. Boy, did I tear him a new asshole. The prof didn’t stop me either. I mean, he was so entitled that he thought saying that out loud in mixed company would be OK. Later I realized that guys who say that shit have, errr, girl problems, and are waiting to become the right age when they shall gain magic powers that draw all the hawt chicks or whatever the hell.
Wow, those “councils” must be a brand new invention of these terrible 21st century Western women, right, and of course only women would ever talk relationship decisions over with other people.
Because it seems like maybe I’ve read about something similar, now wait, what was it? …
“In 1413, two fathers from the Derbyshire gentry signed a marriage contract on which the bride’s name was left blank because the bride’s father hadn’t yet decided which daughter to marry off.”
No, that can’t be right. Men talking about what — or actually, deciding — relationships other people should or shouldn’t form?
“Marriage had so many economic and social ramifications for all social classes that people generally believed it would be foolish to make such a momentous decision entirely on their own. … Young people also took their neighbors’ and friends’ opinions into account. … Marriage usually grew out of a collaboration among parents, friends, and the two individuals involved…”
Wow. Imagine that. Even in 15th century Europe, human beings would sometimes consult other human beings they trusted before making important relationship decisions.
(All quotes from Stephanie Coontz’ Marriage, a history.)
“a fellow student started spouting off nonsense about how wrinkles on men are distinguished”
Depends where they’re located. 😉
I feel like I’m doing this “living” thing wrong. I try, in little ways, to make the people around me happier, or at least less unhappy, and when I see other people who are happy it makes me glad. Clearly, that is the wrong approach.
For these guys, what’s really nice is that as long as somewhere women are suffering, their fairy tale has a happy ending.
That’s a good point, cloudiah. It’s very telling that these guys fear women getting feedback from others too. Do you think it’s an accident that chicks in Judd Apatow films never have any women friends? When I hear guys going completely apeshit over Sex in the City, they always screech about how those woman dare talk about guys with each other — it scares the shit out of the self-loathing dudes.
It reads like a twelve-year-old’s book report …
cloudiah – think of all the thousands of people who had no choice, not even a real chance of veto (and all those still stuck in that situation) because it’s the decision of the men of the family who marries whom. Hell, on a personal level, Mr K and his siblings were stuck with their parents’ (or in his adulthood, his choice) of spouses for them. It was sheer blind luck if it turned into a happy relationship.
This male looks pretty distinguished to me.
Darn, you mean I am no longer able to get a “sucker” like this lovely fellow?
My heart is all broken. I guess I will have to continue with working hard and enjoying life away from a miserable dude like him.
Oh, don’t get me wrong…I wasn’t mad that he said wrinkles are distinguished on men, but then he lapsed into the old, “…and therefore women age badly,” bullshit.
Ugh, Shiraz, that’s all too telling. These guys read like wannabe abusers who haven’t actually got the manipulative skills to isolate women and convince them that an abusive relationship is normal, so they whine about the idea of women having any feedback from friends or relatives instead. Cowardice (if that’s the word for a wannabe abuser – it isn’t, but I can’t think of one that means “gutless even about doing something reprehensible”) is one of the core characteristics of MRAs, I think.
Shiraz – oh, no, I didn’t read it that way. I just went straight to smutty joke territory. 😉
D’aww the curly tail!
I propose that every MRA fairytale contains cats from now on. It can only be an improvement.
Seconded!
Does this mean I cannot continue to want to turn into Olympia Dukakis? Because she is just beautiful to this day.
🙂 Oh, that’s cool, kittehserf. No worries.
Why doesn’t the manosphere ever talk about how women settle down, get married, and have kids before they are really ready only to go through a mid life crisis at 35-40 and become depressed because they wish they would have actually had youth that didn’t include living with mommy and daddy straight to living with husband-daddy. But noooo, they sweep that one under the rug.
Kittehserf, I think you would like the Coontz book if you can get your hands on it. She also debunks some of the evo psych nonsense about “marriage” in early hunter gatherer societies.
That’s funny, princessbonbon, I was just thinking that about Olmpia Dukakis the other day when I watched an episode of Bored To Death on HBO.
Aw, look, they’re telling each other bedtime stories again. I guess it must be comforting to believe that crap if you’re a guy who’s personality is so repellant that women your own age won’t talk to you. Some day you will get your revenge and spurn those cruel little hussies and then they’ll be sorry!
Shame it’s not true.
They probably think (I use the term loosely) women who go through that are just ungrateful hypergamous bitchz who planned all along to spermjack the poooooor betas and then
expect them to contribute to their children’s welfaresteal their souls.*cough* Olympia…*cough cough* stupid typos.