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The Slut Who Got Ugly and Sad: The Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale

Manosphere dudes want every story to end like this.
Manosphere dudes want every story to end like this.

Gather ‘round the fire for yet another retelling of what may be the Manosphere’s favorite fairy tale. You know, the one about the evil ladies who have lots of sex with “bad boys” in their early twenties, only to panic a few years later and desperately try to attach themselves to hardworking beta schlubs once they realize that their looks are fading. You know, like that lady riding the rooster that alternates with the mammoth in the Man Boobz header graphic.

This particular version of the tale – posted to the perversely misnamed “Happy Bachelors” forum by a long-time MGTOWer called Outcast Superstar – somehow manages to avoid the phrase “cock carousel” entirely. But regular readers  will find the story familiar nonetheless.

Here, without further ado, is “Suckers Vs. Fuckers,” by Mr. Superstar.

[W]estern women love excitement and hate boredom. When they are in their teens and early 20’s, they don’t want stability that suckers have to offer because that is boring.

Gosh, who could imagine that anyone in their early twenties might be more interested in dating various people instead of settling down?

Keep in mind that women don’t think for themselves but decisions on who they date or sleep with is usually made by the council not by the woman herself. This council is usually made up of her mother, sister, and friends etc. If dating a nice guy is not considered to be fun and popular by the “council” he is going to get snubbed.

The fellows at South Park have provided us with a rare glimpse into the workings of these mysterious councils.

There is another group of guys called fuckers. Women love to have sex with these guys during their prime years. Although they offer no stability to these women, however women will still sleep with them. The reason why women will is because they are unpredictable and therefore they are deemed as very exciting.

Oh, but things change radically when these evil ladies start to … age.

Once these women get to there late 20’s – early 30’s they will fraudently sell their looks to suckers who make a good income in order to get married. In other words they will put on a pony show for them until they get the ring.

But as long as these ladies hold onto any of their youthful prettiness, they can still cause trouble.

After a few years of marriage, these women are going to get bored and everything is the suckers fault. They will look for affairs and cash out on their suckers knowing that they will get the house, child support (if they have children), and alimony. All she has to do is file a false abuse charge (no proof necessary) to make all this happen. Even as a bonus, the sucker even gets to pay for her attorney fees.

But ultimately these evil gals will get their comeuppance.

Despite there not being any legal justice in this country, Mother Nature has a justice of her own.

Those suckers who once ached for these women will lose interest in them once they get to be in their mid to late 20’s. The last thing they are going to find attractive are used up women in their late 20’s-30’s. In fact these women must be avoided at all cost. They got a disease called baby rabies. They are going to do everything possible to get pregnant and trap you into a long term relationship where they can get provided for.

Happily, western “suckers” can escape the clutches of these evil ladies. After all, western men have alternatives, in the form of foreign women and, er, model railroads?

[O]nce those “suckers” get financially stable they will get to travel to foreign countries and enjoy beautiful women. Also, while in the United States, they will have developed fun hobbies to do when they are not working. In fact these “suckers” will not have to deal with the stress of fear of divorce, a nagging whore, false abuse and rape chargers, get to keep their sanity and money, won’t have to worry about raising kid that aren’t theirs etc.

And so these so-called “suckers” can sit back and watch with pleasure as the ladies who refused to have sex with them in their younger years grow old and miserable at approximately twice the speed of the more-gracefully aging men.

[T]he women who neglected the “suckers” in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years are going to have to face justice. It’s not legal justice but Mother Nature justice. Once they get to their late 20’s for every year a man ages, they will be aging by two years. They will wrinkle and get ugly very fast. Investing thousands of dollars in makeup in order to form a bond with a “sucker” is not going to get the job done because they failed to form a bond with a “sucker” during their prime years. Their biological clocks will be ticking and they will get very desperate. They are going to want to be talking care off, like living off a “sucker” so they won’t have to work.

To interject for a moment, I believe that when Mr. Superstar refers to women who are “going to want to be talking care off,” what he means is that these women are “going to want to be taken care of.”

I’m reminded a bit of Kevin Kline’s teleprompter troubles in the movie Soapdish.

Oh, but Outcast Superstar isn’t quite done with his story yet:

Disgusted by their behavior, the “suckers” will not want anything to do with them and will rebuke them. They are going to have to work long hours for the rest of their life because they could not find a “sucker” to take care of them. They will whine and complain that the “suckers” will not commit despite them snubbing them in favor of the “fuckers” during their prime years. They will rot all alone with no one to take care of them, many of them will not get to have children, and will be living very miserable lives until death all because they thought it was cute to let the “suckers” rot all alone while they go squander their prime years to the “fuckers” That my friends is what I call justice!

Um, that’s cool and all, but aren’t these ladies supposed to have cats?

You’re not telling the story right!

Outcast Superstar, tell us the story AGAIN. But with CATS!

NOTE: I found this lovely story after it was reposted on MarkyMark’s blog. After a fairly long period of inactivity, old MarkyMark is posting like there’s no tomorrow.

Image at the top borrowed from Comically Vintage.

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jonatma420
7 years ago

What goes around comes around skank! Were are all your bad boy “real men” now?

jonatma420
7 years ago

What goes around comes around skank! Were are all your bad boy “real men” now?

jonatma420
7 years ago

Enjoy your cats.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

jonatma: the fourteen year old who can’t comprehend anyone being happy about anything ever.

cloudiah
7 years ago

I enjoy my cats too. They’re furry, and affectionate, and they purr and knock things off of other things endlessly for fun and profit. What’s not to enjoy?

I

Kittehserf
7 years ago

I suspect “enjoy” is the word jonnyboy gets stuck at. He doesn’t come across as Mr Happy, does he – like all the other trolls.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

I’m kind of annoyed at one of our cats right now, since he made the decision to bite a chunk out of the couch earlier. But I appreciate the thought, J.

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
7 years ago

The strange thing is that the sentence “Enjoy your cats” isn’t really an insult. I left someone’s home a few days ago saying that exact thing. Because, well, she had a lot of cats. And they were enjoyable.

This incredibly fuzzy, long tailed thing that liked trying to jump out the window (Which was bad, on the 4th floor).

So, thanks? I guess? We will enjoy our cats.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

The cat-sneers are so typical of sexist morons. Cats are labelled feminine, so any man liking or loving cats = bad. Then there’s the whole notion that the only reason someone has a pet, or rather, feels affection for it, is to make up for a lack of human company. (Not affection or a relationship, not really: it’s all about fucking or being fucked with these losers. Affection is weak.) Further than that, there’s the idea far too many people have that you can’t love humans and animals, it has to be one or the other; or that animals are just things.

Whether it’s any of that or just the usual schoolyard level of insult, it says far more about the tosser saying it than anyone it’s aimed at. Correction: it says bad things about the sayer and good things about the sayee.

KittySnide
KittySnide
7 years ago

I also enjoy cats!
and I enjoy this thread. well, not all this thread, though I will never understand why some people, in blind hatred, immediately go to, “Cats! I should say something about cats! That’ll show ’em!”
mostly I just like that this thread gives me a lovely hit of nostalgia for the Elephant Show and, as a result, most of the CBC’s original programming. (seriously, have y’all watched “What It’s Like Being Alone”? it’s this dark-comedy claymation series about an orphanage that houses monster children. it will bring your life so much happiness)

KittySnide
KittySnide
7 years ago

also, I can’t imagine anyone saying “Enjoy your puppy” or “Enjoy your boa constrictor” with the same venom they do with cats. If I were to go by my very extensive education, of the finest quality, from a variety of teen movies, I would think that “weird” pets would be more “lonely-person-ish”. like, the lonely people have snakes, or iguanas, or tarantulas… friendly old ladies who serve cookies and surprise you with their “worldly” language and sex lives are the ones with cats.
the only “cat person” who fits the MRA trolls’ bill to a tee that I can think of is Harrison Withers from “Harriet The Spy”! he has like 50 cats who he loves and who all have names.
also TS Eliot.
and Andrew Lloyd Webber.
I kind of kid about the last two, but you know what I mean.
DUDES!
who write lovely things about CATS!
EVERYTHING IS TURNING TO SHAMBLES.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Is it acceptable if I enjoy my catfish instead? The cat just ends up biting my feet…

Maude LL
7 years ago

I enjoy my cats too! Charlie, the kitty on my avatar, was seriously ill in the past few months, and he is now completely cured!
I just wanted to announce that to jonatma, since he wishes us well in our love for cats (I love otters too – except from otter Hembling).
And also to all the manboobzers, because they understand the superiority of cats in the feminist hivemind. The fight ain’t over until cats earn equal pay!
No, seriously, Charlie is great. And he’s not vomiting blood anymore, which makes me incredibly happy.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Idk, I’ve gotten something like “enjoy your fish” meant as “because who keeps fish?!” (Note, I do not have a small tank with some cute fish, well I do, but it’s 29g downstairs and there’s a 55g, -0g planter breeder tank, and 2.5g hospital tank in here)

When nearly a quarter of your living space is aquariums, I guess the fish insults almost made sense. Except yeah, I wouldn’t have nearly 70 gallons of water in my bedroom if I didn’t enjoy my fish!

Shiraz
Shiraz
7 years ago

Wow! This:

“What goes around comes around skanks! Where are all your loser bad boys now?”

You’re a cliche, dudebro. Especially because you think “bad boys” are an actual social disease in the real world that makes the lives of “Nice Guys” ™ hell. That’s only in the movies, you simp. Go outside…just go outside and put down the remote.

KittySnide
KittySnide
7 years ago

in my head it always translates as “Enjoy those living creatures you like to be around and who bring you joy in life!”

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6r9g8X88q1r9etf5o1_500.gif

KittySnide
KittySnide
7 years ago

I fail at embed.

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
7 years ago

My cat is licking me. I guess our impolite guest got his wish!

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
7 years ago

@KittySnide
Pictures cannot be embedded onto this blog cause of trolls.

We don’t need visuals of how sad their boners really are.

Shiraz
Shiraz
7 years ago

Seriously, what would life be without all the cats? By all means, wish cats on me.

KittySnide
KittySnide
7 years ago

@neuroticbeagle

thanks! I am still learning!
well I promise I did not try to link any sad-boner visuals. just Emma Stone being sassy.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Maude, so pleased to hear Charlie’s recovered! He looks a sweetie.

Hmm, cats earning equal pay … doesn’t that imply they’d have to work? ::shudders::

Hembling is otterly ridiculous. Hembling itself sounds like a verb. It needs a definition.

Aaliyah
7 years ago

The fight ain’t over until cats earn equal pay!

The pay gap is yet another felinist myth. Wake up!

cloudiah
7 years ago

hem·bling
adj.
1. Often or habitually speaking at length and opaquely about idiotic subjects; bloviating.
2. Using inappropriately complicated & irrelevant words to play at being intelligent: “How dare you make imputations of malice at me?”
3. Lengthy and digressive: a hembling speech.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Aaliyah – LOL love it!

cloudiah, ditto! That’s got to go into a special section of the Dictionary.

MaudeLL
7 years ago

Thanks kitteh!
He’s been with me for 12 years, I was pretty worried.

I need to meditate on a proper definition… He’s just hembling for it.

Shiraz
Shiraz
7 years ago

“Hembling sounds like a verb. It needs a definition.”

Yeah. How about this: “To not take a task seriously.” Like dicking around, except it would be “hembling around.”
Stop hembling around, dude.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

cloudiah ninjaed us! She’s nailed it.

MaudeLL
7 years ago

Aaliyah-
They say it’s because cats only work part time, stay at home or aren’t ambitious enough, but I say it doesn’t add up!

Cloudiah-
That’s perfect. He does hembles. I tried to watch his YT videos a few times but couldn’t make it through. Too much Hembling.

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
7 years ago

” cats earning equal pay” is false for several reasons:

1. Cats do not and should not earn anything. They are royalty and must be given everything they demand when they demand it.

2. Nothing is equal to cats. They are greater and therefore get more/better or whatever it is.

*Light bulb goes on over my head*

Straw feminists are REAL! Straw feminists are actually CATS!

MaudeLL
7 years ago

Said like a true serf doggie beagle. Glorify.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Seriously, all, if you want to see someone who’s even worse than John the Otter, read this.

It’s still my “go to” thing to make me laugh when I’m feeling down. Feminists attacking jugglers, ballerinas as stamens of privilege.

And the weird thing is that the author was on the side of rank-and-file democracy during the MRA London purge, so in relation to JtO he is kind of one of the “not exactly good but not as bad as it’s possible to be” guys.

emilygoddess
7 years ago

@David, jonatma isn’t a first-time commenter, is he? I swear he’s been around for ages.

emilygoddess
7 years ago

Can’t imagine why…

leftwingfox
7 years ago

Ok, I lost track of this thread long ago, but…

I did not know that about Eric Nagler! Now that I’m in Ontario myself, I might have to check out that store too. 🙂

Loved Sharon, Lois and Bram as a kid; saw them live a couple of times, even. The Elephant Show came out when I was about 8 and just starting to outgrow it, but I always loved watching Eric show up.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

When someone tries to inflict the Curse of the Life With Cats I just think they’re trying to curse me into a future as Nanny Ogg. Which sounds quite nice, if I get to skip the whole childbirth thing.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: jonatma420

Were are all your bad boy “real men” now?

In my bed, naked and happy. Where did you think he was?

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

My sister got more and more cats because she was taking care of strays. Eventually she had nine cats. Then she met this wonderful man who also loved cats, and they now have a lovely house together in the countryside where they live with all their cats, and are right now trying to conceive a baby.

But listening to some people you’d think this story was completely impossible.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

In my bed, naked and happy. Where did you think he was?

Ba-doom-TISH!

Quick check of the times means it would have been true of my bloke, too, when you wrote that. 🙂

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Oh, all right, blockquote monster, if it keeps you happy …

anadiomene122
anadiomene122
7 years ago

But, but… if even the most attractive women are just going to get ugly and undesirable by age 25, or 28, or whatever the magic number is, shouldn’t these guys be glad that they didn’t marry an attractive woman when she was 20 only to be stuck with an ugly old harpy for the rest of their natural lives?

It seems irrational this obsession MRAs have with marrying 15 to 20-year-olds, and how hard it is to find a woman who is “wifey” enough to marry and who is willing to form a proper nuclear family unit with them, when all women are only going to be disgusting anyway within a matter of a few years.

Shouldn’t they be glad that young women just want to hookup instead of entering some binding contract? Theoretically, living in a world where 20-year-old hotties won’t settle down and get hitched would save them the trouble of having to divorce an ugly fat 26-year-old.

Fiona Beswick
7 years ago

Nobody says these men have to make any sense. Since all they are doing, even the most articulate, is screaming “Mummy! It isn’t FAIR!! The girls won’t do as I SAY! They won’t look the way I WANT! They want to say their own things! They want their own money! I want to tell them how much they can have! They want to wear trousers! I like dresses! They won’t make me a sandwich! I WANT A SANDWICH!! I want I want IWANT! (STAMP STAMP!)”

Caligula Rex
Caligula Rex
4 years ago

Enjoy your sexy goat!

Cartman
Cartman
3 years ago

Personally I hate cats. They always go after my pot pie.

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