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Angry gamer dude: Men need sexy video game babes, because real-world women are fatties

Male gamers suffer terribly when they can't look at game gals like these, from Gotham City Impostors
Male gamers suffer terribly when they can’t look at game gals like these, from Gotham City Impostors

The gaming enthusiast known as seanmalstrom seems to be on a personal crusade to challenge the stereotype of men as the “logical sex.” He does this mostly by 1) being a dude and 2) writing things that make no sense at all.

In a recent post on his blog Malstrom’s Articles News – no, that’s really what it’s called – Mr. Malstrom attempts to rebut a piece by John Walker of the gaming site Rock Paper Shotgun that challenged misogyny in the gaming world.

It’s not much of a rebuttal, but Mr. Malstrom makes a couple of, er, “arguments” that grabbed my attention. At one point he suggests that if game developers stop populating their games with sexy lady characters with giant boobs and long legs, American men will have no way to exercise their God-given right to ogle sexy ladies with giant boobs and long legs.

There is a great question I have yet to hear anyone in the Game Industry answer. If women cannot be depicted fantastical (big boobs, long legs, slaughters armies single-handedly) in fantasy entertainment, where can men go to see fantasy women? Women have their fantasy men from endless soap-operas, romance novels, chick flicks, and such. Are men not allowed to have fantasies in entertainment?

True, that is a question I’ve yet to see anyone in the game industry answer, largely because most of the people in the game industry, whatever their flaws, live in the real world, and in the real world images of sexy ladies with big boobs are not exactly difficult to come by.

Mr. Malstrom goes on to argue that men in the English-speaking world have the greatest need for sexy lady video game characters, because the women they run into on a regular basis in the real world are all fatties. In the Cold War era, politicians warned about a “Missile Gap” with the Russians. Today, apparently, we and the Russians have a Fatty Gap.

In Russia, it is stunning to see alcoholic bums of Russian men with model quality looks Russian women. In the same way, in the United States it is stunning to see wealthy, hardworking, handsome American men with an American woman who looks like a Troglodyte. Of course, this is just a generalization. The point is that the typical American male has a better worldwide value if they stop thinking the local obese women around them are ‘the normal’. They aren’t the normal worldwide.

If anyone needs fantasy depictions, it would be English speaking men who don’t have access to the worldwide standard.

Mr. Malstrom is also bothered by the suggestion that video game makers should try to make female characters more interesting. You know, with personalities and motivations of their own, and stuff like that. To Mr. Malstrom, there’s nothing more interesting about a women than her body.

What makes a woman interesting to men?

The truth is that interesting women needs youth, big boobs, long legs, long hair, and an hourglass figure to be interesting to men. The more women go away from this, the less interesting they become to men. This is why women when inevitably age, they become more and more invisible to men. It is just Nature at work. Ironically, for men the older they get, the more interesting they can become to women as their earning potential goes up. This balances out how most young men are invisible to women when they are younger. After the age of 25, men tend to become the more interesting ones compared to a woman of equal age. This is why mothers always advised their daughters to ‘snag him when he and she are both young’.

Indeed, Mr. Malstrom argues, men who insist that women be depicted as sex objects are doing women a giant favor.

And we should only hope that women wish to be depicted as sex objects for that is how they become love objects as well. No man wants to marry a women they aren’t attracted to. Last I checked, marriage rates were plummeting in the West. Perhaps journalists should strive for ‘positive change’ by suggesting to women to be depicted more as sex objects so they can attract a man for marriage before they get too old. That would truly help women and make men happier as well.

Mr. Malstrom concludes with a stirring call for women to stop being such fat fatties.

It IS tasteless for using women as sex objects to sell games. Why? It is because real life women should be sex objects to begin with. If that were the case, putting them on a game cover wouldn’t be selling the game. This used to be the case decades ago. Since obesity in women have skyrocketed and attractive women have diminished, putting attractive women on game covers definitely attracts men more than it should.

It IS sad that women can’t find themselves sensibly portrayed in the games they play. It is not because the women in the games are ‘too attractive’, it is because the women playing them tend to be ‘too fat’. It is sad for women that they are fat. It is also sad for men. What John Walker should do is to advise women to get in shape and try to look like the depictions of women that men are attracted to. This would be ‘positive change’ we could all get behind.

I hate to burst your bubble, Mr. Malstrom, but I don’t think there was any era of history in which women looked like this.

600full-tomb-raider-iii -the-adventures-of-lara-croft-artwork

It’s probably just as well, as Lara here doesn’t seem to have eyelids and her head isn’t properly connected to her neck.

Note: Thanks to Tatjna for pointing me to Mr. Malstrom’s post!

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Abnoy
Abnoy
7 years ago

“…having consensual extra-marital…”

Hah, I knew it! Feminist Freudian slip!

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

What exactly was it that you knew? Was it that randomly declaring yourself victorious will make you look silly?

P.S. Feminist Freud would be pretty different from Actual Freud.

Malitia
Malitia
7 years ago

I imagine: That feminists only marry (poor betas) to gain financial security and then have extra-marital affairs with all those alphas / assholes / etc. behind their husbands back.
Failing to notice the “consentual” part (which would mean the husbands consent too), but than again “consent” is not a concept MRAs seem to understand.

Gods I spend too much time on this site! I understand MRA troll logic. *facepalm*

Malitia
Malitia
7 years ago

Um… Sorry for the weird English. I’m not a native speaker. ^^;

Fade
7 years ago

^If you try to imitate MRA speak, it’s going to come across as weird no matter what.

So your English seemed normal to me. XD

Also, welcome if you’re new. I don’t know if I’ve seen you around here before (though I’m semi new, so I don’t know everyone yet)

Malitia
Malitia
7 years ago

Thank you. I’m new. This is my fourth or so comment. I lurk around a lot though. 🙂

Marie
7 years ago

*awaits backlash & cries of “Islamophobia”*

but of course, you are “one of the Manboobzers” … will clannish loyalties allow Manboobzers to give you a pass on your hatred of Islam??

I was trying to type a long post on this, but kittehs said it way better than I did and much shorter too, so:

And Joe demonstrates his ignorance that a person criticising a religion from the inside – from personal experience of bigotry – is a very different matter from people on the outside, who know nothing from personal experience, making sweeping claims about it.

That. That is the difference, first joe.

@first joe

Let’s face it, you don’t really have principles – you have in-group loyalties.
Aaliyah is part of your in-group and there’s no way you’d throw her under the bus for anything as abstract as a principle.

This is why regulars never, ever correct each other when someone does something wrong/ offensive. It just doesn’t happen. EEEEVVVVEEEERRRRR!

So, Aaliyah – you could in fact be a white, 50 year old bloke called Jeff who believes in the Easter Bunny – but because the Manboobzers believe you to be:

a) a woman
b) of a non-Western ethnicity
c) of a non-Christian background

You can say the EXACT same things about any issue and be praised and supported for them as Aaliyah, but if you came on here and said the exact same things as Jeff – you would be roundly condemned.

Wait, you guys hate Christians? If I go back to church when I find a non-bigotted one, will you guys start hating me? Or is first joe just full of shit?

I think it’s that last one.

@kittehs

Great entry, Aaliyah!

I love my sister to bits. I am really proud of her animal activism. I hate her politics and her racism.

Now I feel like the total jerk where if someone’s politics clash with mine in a big way that hurts people (ie: pro life) I have a hard time caring about them. Other things bug me too, but I don’t think I’d be able to get past a big thing like that, which can lead to back-dated awkwards wondering how I’d feel about certain relatives now.

@fibinachi

… okay, what do people think I am? So far my opinions haven’t been discarded, and everyone’s been really friendly, and I’ve been given, like, a gazillion internets.

I don’t know, but by this point, maybe you’re just made of internets? XD (although I don’t know much about you, I don’t even know your preferred gender pronouns ::blushes::)

@cassandrasays

It must be because they’re straight white men (even though our host is also a straight white man).

Wait, he is! I thought he was just a cat! Now I must shun David. ::shuns::

(apology if this post is all over the place, I’m caffeinated atm XD)

@Malitia

Welcome 😀 And your english sounds fine 🙂

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

@Malitia:

I imagine: That feminists only marry (poor betas) to gain financial security and then have extra-marital affairs with all those alphas / assholes / etc. behind their husbands back.
Failing to notice the “consentual” part (which would mean the husbands consent too), but than again “consent” is not a concept MRAs seem to understand.

You’re probably exactly right about what annoy was thinking, but Aaliyah neither supported nor condemned extra-marital sex in her comment. It’s like if someone said “the curtains in my friend’s bathroom were pink” and someone else said “I knew it! I KNEW IT!! You want to make everyone’s curtains pink! You’re so transparent!”

Aaliyah
7 years ago

“…having consensual extra-marital…”

Hah, I knew it! Feminist Freudian slip!

What in the world are you talking about? :S

Aaliyah
7 years ago

I imagine: That feminists only marry (poor betas) to gain financial security and then have extra-marital affairs with all those alphas / assholes / etc. behind their husbands back.
Failing to notice the “consentual” part (which would mean the husbands consent too), but than again “consent” is not a concept MRAs seem to understand.

That could be it. I did mention consensual extra-marital sex purposefully in a negative context, however; I don’t like how Islamic teachings assume that cheating on your spouse can be caused by something as simple as a man seeing some woman’s hair. I’m not for cheating, of course, but Islam’s attitude towards it is ridiculous.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Welcome, Malitia!

Aaliyah, if it helps, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a comment from Annoy that makes a lick of sense.

pecunium
7 years ago

Argenti: It got there because he was being recursive, and I was having fun.

What actually happened is I was done at one point, then had to add, which meant one sentence applied twice, and so needed to be said twice, and since Joe does that shit all the time, an infinite loop seemed apropos.

Malitia
Malitia
7 years ago

I knew several couples, who could make open or semi-open marriages work (one for more than thirty years actually), this is why my mind doesn’t jump from extramarital affairs to cheating in an instant.

I think I’m on the side: If they ALL fully consented and works for them its fine by me. 🙂

Aaliyah
7 years ago

I’m all for polyamory among consenting adults, too. I was talking about having consensual extra-marital sex in the context of monogamous relationships.

pecunium
7 years ago

Aaliyah: . I was talking about having consensual extra-marital sex in the context of monogamous relationships.

I’m confused. I keep trying to parse this, and not making it work. If they are having extra-marital sex, how is the relationship monogamous?

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Welcome, Malitia! 🙂

Marie – “Now I feel like the total jerk where if someone’s politics clash with mine in a big way that hurts people (ie: pro life) I have a hard time caring about them. Other things bug me too, but I don’t think I’d be able to get past a big thing like that, which can lead to back-dated awkwards wondering how I’d feel about certain relatives now. ”

You’ve no need to feel like a jerk! It varies so much. I’ve ended friendships when I found the person was a racist and Libertarian. But she’s my only sister and we were separated (she lived in Queensland) for a hella long time, so basically we just leave politics out of it, because we know we’re never going to agree, and there are lots of other things to talk about. She’s also my only family member apart from Mum – I have no desire to speak to my father or brother ever again, or at least for a few centuries – so she matters more, if that makes sense.

Marie
7 years ago

@kittehs

That makes sense. So far I luckily don’t have to deal with any of my (immediate) family members having politics that clash with mine much, but that may change when my dad moves in with his fiance, since I’m not sure where she falls besides having some outdated sexist stuff.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

@Pecunium:

I’m confused. I keep trying to parse this, and not making it work. If they are having extra-marital sex, how is the relationship monogamous?

I think zie means like this: A and B agrees on having a monogamous relationship. Then B and C have consensual sex, without B telling A.

Simple as that.

Aaliyah
7 years ago

What Dvärghundspossen said.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“So, Aaliyah – you could in fact be a white, 50 year old bloke called Jeff who believes in the Easter Bunny – but because the Manboobzers believe you to be:

a) a woman
b) of a non-Western ethnicity
c) of a non-Christian background”

Pecunium — recursive Joe is recursive, got it. Also, idk about the Easter bunny part, and you aren’t called Jeff, but last I checked you weren’t under 30, a woman, of non-
Western ethinicity or non-Christian (well maybe? What’s catholic count as?)

And yet, here we are, taking you seriously! Maybe Joe’s problem isn’t his age, race, religion, gender, etc, but his repulsive personality? Hmmm…

Warning, I am pre-coffee as getting coffee means dealing with my father and he’s extra cranky currently.

Also, the Geico “somebody help me I have a flat tire!” commerical reminds me of NWO.

pecunium
7 years ago

Argenti: I am over thirty, male, white, straight, cis, Christian.

Aaliyah: Ok. I’d say that was consensual sex, and it was non-monogamous. I would also say it was uncool,because it’s violating A/B’s agreement to monogamy, i.e. it’s cheating.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

I’m not a Muslim and people don’t get upset when I say critical things about Islam. I’m white, too, although not male. How do you explain this mysterious thing?

I’ll take “has enough direct experience to know what zie’s talking about” for 500, Bob.

Malitia
Malitia
7 years ago

Could people just drop using “extra-marital sex” when they mean cheating? (Probably no. It’s more to word usage than my convenience or confusion. 🙂 )

I always interpret it as “sex outside of marriage” and if that would be synonymous with cheating, then unmarried people couldn’t be unfaithful and people should always wait till the divorce papers arrive etc.. I shut up now. ^^;

Aaliyah
7 years ago

Ok. I’d say that was consensual sex, and it was non-monogamous. I would also say it was uncool,because it’s violating A/B’s agreement to monogamy, i.e. it’s cheating.

No disagreement here.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Sorry, I know I’m necro-ing this thread, it just hits a personal button for me.

Okay, OP’s whole argument is complete bullshit in the first place, a mansion of bullshit built on a bullshit foundation laid upon a field of ripest bullshit, but pretending, for just a moment, that the address is not 123 Bullshit Street, Bullshitopolis, Bull State…

Exercise doesn’t make your boobs bigger! IT DOESN’T. If anything, losing weight may make your breasts SMALLER. (For anyone who wasn’t me, that is. I don’t know WHY our body was determined to keep such a big rack when I’d stopped eating, but it was very much unusual.)

Also, on top of everything else… why am I even talking like this guy is making sense? That physical ideal is IMPOSSIBLE. Physically fucking impossible. I mean, I WAS that anorexic with D-cup tits, and I couldn’t maintain that ideal, not even come close.

It’s bullshit. A gigantic steaming, state-size pile of bullshit.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Getting thinner makes me look bustier too, I think it’s just genetics. But yes, it’s certainly not a standard or common thing, and the whole “must improve your bust!” exercise thing is nonsense. Lift things a bit, maybe, but make bigger? Nope.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: CassandraSays

It didn’t make me look bustier; I just tend to lose weight everywhere BUT my tits and thighs. (Well, now just thighs.) Which meant that I was in for a rude shock after top surgery; with all that meat off, everyone realized just how skinny I was. The rack had concealed the sickness.

Now I’m trying to imagine boob exercises. Boob lifts. Boob-ups. Boob curls…

Kittehserf
7 years ago

I’m thinking it’s time I got measured again. I’m bigger all round than the last time I had it done. My bras still feel okay but it’d be interesting to find out.

Marie
7 years ago

@LBT

Now I’m trying to imagine boob exercises. Boob lifts. Boob-ups. Boob curls…

Maybe if someone had boobs like these?

I think my boobs went up in size slightly when I gained a little more weight, but never had a good measure until recently, so can’t be sure.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

I gotta be honest, top surgery was worth every thousand bucks I paid for it. (And I say this as someone sunk in poverty.) *hugs chest, would kiss it if properly spinally equipped*

Kittehserf
7 years ago

I’m seeing you as a heron or some other long-necked bird doing that! 🙂

Caligula Rex
Caligula Rex
4 years ago

I’m sure Mario and Luigi are carrying a few extra pounds…
Hasn’t stopped them selling games.

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