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a woman is always to blame all about the menz douchebaggery misogyny the olden days

All About the Menz: Douchey Vintage Douche Ads Edition

unhappyman

When are women’s “problems” really problems? According to the vintage ads I’ve collected below, only when they affect a man.

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You gals may want to pay special attention to that delicate female problem that has destroyed so many marriages. And no, despite the headline for the ad below, I’m not talking about poor spelling.

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And yes, that really was an ad for Lysol. The good folks at Lysol hoped to get women so worried about the effect of their “one neglect” on the men in their lives that they would actually put Lysol in their vaginas. Evidently this ad campaign proved successful; there are a lot of these old Lysol ads floating around. Like this one:

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Lysol wasn’t the only brand hoping that women would blame their allegedly smelly vaginas for any problems in their marriages:

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And speaking of that whole lady area down there, meet this fellow:

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Once you’ve got all your female troubles under control, there’s a simple way to win men back:

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The only question is if he’s ready for this jelly.

EDITED TO ADD: Here’s one more! It does not involve the lady regions, however.

mornidine

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Andrew Johnston
8 years ago

I don’t think that women using douches says anything about their intelligence. Instead, it reflects the sad state of affairs that happens when women aren’t educated about our bodies, shamed for them and then exploited by companies out to make a buck.

Pretty much, and I don’t think there’s been all that much progress in this area. Women – and in particular non-Caucasian women – are still encouraged to do unhealthy things in the name of beauty. Using diluted floor cleaner as a douche is mockably awful, but I don’t think that the chemicals in hair straighteners or skin bleachers are all that much nicer.

cloudiah
8 years ago

I should stay off of r/mensrights, but this was just too funny.

1 Are Men and Women of equal quality?
2 Then they are equally moral and equally immoral?
3 You say rape is an almost exclusively male crime, correct?
4 If Men and Women are equally immoral, then Women must have an equally heinous crime that they almost exclusively commit. What is it?

UnkleTBag’s logic is unassailable. I hereby renounce feminism.

(Actually, a few people point out that his logic is not in face unassailable, but David’s old friend Sigil is in there arguing that women created all the bad men so women are responsible for them too.)

Marie
8 years ago

@AK

I used to use Lysol for cleaning and even diluted (and I diluted the “ready to use” stuff) it dried out my hands horribly if I didn’t use gloves. I cannot imagine what effect it must have had on more sensitive tissues.

owowow.

@cloudiah

1 Are Men and Women of equal quality?
2 Then they are equally moral and equally immoral?
3 You say rape is an almost exclusively male crime, correct?
4 If Men and Women are equally immoral, then Women must have an equally heinous crime that they almost exclusively commit. What is it?

UnkleTBag’s logic is unassailable. I hereby renounce feminism.

Mra’s are weird.

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
8 years ago

Did Meller write the second ad copy? All that talk of daintyness, and lovely ladyness.

Ew.

Falconer
8 years ago

Karalora, your kitty is named Sekhmet? *bows before superior kitty naming skills*

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
8 years ago

All I can think of is this:

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
8 years ago

Well, that didn’t work.

Let me try that again:

http://i1311.photobucket.com/albums/s669/HuddiBras2/Lysol_zpsf155fb3d.jpg

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

@Bagelsan – “I first read that as “clean the floors with your vag.”

So did I!

@cloudiah – “Let’s take Dr. Miles Effervescent Nervine Tablets.”

Am I the only one who read that as “Dr Miles Effervescent”? Because that would be a totally cool name.

@Moona – ” But my husband loves it when his peener smells like clean linen after a romp instead of gooey vagina! ”

First thing I thought reading these ads was that I’d want to see any man who expected this sort of thing soak his bits in Lysol first.

@gillyrosebee (Deoridhe, is that your new name? I reckernize that kitty avatar) – tails are the source of all evil and irresistably tempting. Sir couldn’t help chasing his a bit that day he tried wearing it. Not that he fell around like kitty, but he did get dizzy. 😀

Karalora
Karalora
8 years ago

@Falconer

Yes, that is her name. It fits…not at all. She’s quite mellow and has never used her teeth or claws in anger.

melody
melody
8 years ago

Also, More Women Should Die in Shipwrecks!

They do though:
http://www.nek.uu.se/Pdf/wp20128.pdf

Kira
Kira
8 years ago

I’m surprised millions of women didn’t die of poisoning from douching with Lysol. Utterly insane.

cloudiah
8 years ago

Ah, Melody, we’ve discussed that article before, and MRAs have informed us that it is entirely wrong because it came from Sweden. It’s like an ad hominem argument, but directed at an entire country! Leave it to MRAs to push at the boundaries…

melody
melody
8 years ago

Wait….it isn’t valid because although it looks at ships from america (I assuming these are american MRMs?) it isn’t looked at by americans.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

They’d dismiss anything Swedish because it’s the home of Teh Feminizt Hivemind.

Creative Writing Student

You look at things like this and go “how did they not stop after the first burning pains?”* but then you remember stuff like corsets, lead paint, painful shoes, wigs larger than my computer tower and decorated with birdcages and plant vases, ridiculously heavy skirts (Irish traveller brides often get scars on their hips from their wedding gowns), pubic hair waxing… apparently attractiveness is pain. 🙁

*Wacky anecdote time: A few years back, as an alternative to showering, I decided to wipe myself off with wipes. Unfortunately, being a student, the only ones I had were toilet cleaning wipes (lemon-scented). AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH. I was fine after a shower and liberal application of Savlon.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

And also, yeah, ‘MURRIKA, ‘MURRIKA, except when it suits them, of course.

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

Who was that asshole claiming that the ’50s was a beloved era for feminists?
It was from an OP post.

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
8 years ago

@CWS – during my first tae kwon do bout I had a nosebleed, and my second couldn’t find any tissues or paper towels, so he shoved clorox wipes up my nose. I imagine that felt much like douching with lysol did… Only I got high off the bleach pretty much straight away, so after a few seconds I couldn’t feel much at all.

katz
8 years ago

Weeboy, I hope you found a new second.

freemage
freemage
8 years ago

Okay, the Mornadine ad was worse than I thought. It was specifically targeting doctors, meaning that the individual primarily responsible for the woman’s health and well-being was urged to consider whether or not she would be able to cook her man breakfast as a primary concern.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Gah. If it was “now you feel like eating breakfast again, and don’t barf at the sight of all that fried food” it’d be one thing, but oh no, it’s all cooking breakfast – not a word about you getting to eat it.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Seriously, all it has to say is “now she can eat breakfast again”

Also, I read a bunch of the jokes on the first page to my mother, who found it all hilarious. And then asked if Lysol had seriously promoted this (she was born in the 50s, graduated late 70s, so yeah, this all was her childhood) — she didn’t find “yep, it’s for real” all that funny. (More like “put what? where?!“…followed by complaints that I had paused Torchwood and MOAR CAPTAIN JACK! Some people!)

Am I babbling? It’s way too hot here for early spring, I dread think of August (the dead of summer up here)…this is part of why I love Halloween, it’s the only time of year when I don’t hate the weather. I could do crisp 60~70 forever, none of this suddenly 80 and humid shit (and if I never see another 40” blizzard it will be too soon). But global warming isn’t a thing, see, it snowed all blizzard like!

Yeah, I’m babbling. Going to bed soon anyways, so don’t mind me. Take home points here: Lysol douche sounds like a bad, dangerous, painful joke; Captain Jack Harkness (and really, the rest of the Torchwood team) is hot.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Yes, the “Mirage” one is dated 1944.

Adelaide
8 years ago

There have been some awesome* ads over the years. I found this collection a while ago and literally had to scrap my jaw off the ground when looking at them. The Lysol ads remind me of the ones Palmolive ran for their soap, which was a “use our soap so you can have lovely young lady skin and not scare your husband off, you old middle-aged hag” campaign… the heading was “Yes! Husbands stay lovers when wives guard against dry, lifeless “middle-age” skin!. Ugh.

http://www.thevine.com.au/life/thoughts/sexist-vintage-ads/gallery/0

* By awesome I mean amazingly horrible

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Adelaide – argh, that first one about Lucky Strike as an appetite suppressant was gross, gross, gross. Ladies! You’ll be lovely and THIN and MODERN! Never mind the rotting yellow teeth, the emphysema, the blindness, the lung cancer! Trivialities, trivialities!

Argenti – I hear you about autumn! Best time of the year, when we get a good one, and that’s even without the gorgeous colours youse lot up north have (grrrs of envy here).

But we’re starting to get those beautiful mellow days at last. I took this in the gardens by the Shrine of Remembrance yesterday (Tuesday 8th, our time).

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@Kittehs

I don’t know how it is down your way, but up here it feels like an extension of summer. Which I quite appreciate, but I realise a lot of people wouldn’t.

Creative Writing Student

@Kitteh’s

In PSHE we were literally told “some people use cigarettes as a way to help losing weight, DO NOT DO THIS”. I don’t know if it actually works as a weight loss aid.

We also had the fun derail where we started talking about the icky things in cigarettes (including formaldehyde) and then went into how to embalm a corpse. We learnt useful things in PSHE sometimes. 😛

BigMomma
8 years ago

fricking cold and grey up here in Northern NSW

freemage
freemage
8 years ago

I’m not sure why the baby-drinking-a-pop ads were in the sexist ad collection, but yeah, that was pretty appalling. I suspect several ran in Playboy and similar publications only, where they were trying to ‘blend’ with the content, but still.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
8 years ago

@Historophilia

But I can’t believe Doctors reccomended this, we laugh at people 300 years ago believing that bleeding people in a fever was good for them, but seriously, the stuff that was put out as a good medical science only 60 odd years ago beggars belief…

Was it doctors advising using Lysol this way, or was it the makers of Lysol? Big difference, IMO – the tendency of companies to sell dangerous shit in the name of profit was probably the same back then.

freemage
freemage
8 years ago

In that era, it was very common for the companies to get a doctor who had no ethics, or perhaps serious gambling debts, to shill for them. (In the movie Soapdish, Kline’s character mentions that he started on the soap opera back in the days when “We had commercials for cigarettes, starring real doctors.”)

Shaenon
8 years ago

This comes up in Pink Think, an awesome book I highly recommend, but a lot of these old douche ads were exploiting the (erroneous) belief that douching was effective as birth control. When the ad copy talks about how Lysol “cleanses thoroughly,” you’re supposed to understand that this includes any unwanted sperm you might happen to get up in there. Women bought the stuff not just out of fear of stinky vaginas, but also out of desperation to prevent unwanted pregnancies; the popularity of douching dropped off dramatically after the Pill.

Although I guess douching with Lysol could work as birth control, in that it could permanently destroy your reproductive system.

That said, the Lysol ad certainly plays the “stinky vagina” angle too. Ladies, a tip: if your husband refuses to have sex with you unless your crotch smells like floor cleaner, you are not the problem.

pecunium
8 years ago

The thing I noticed was,

Failure to practice hygience (internal cleanliness) often results in such needless tragedies– homes broken up few social invitations, the feeling of being shunned without knowing why.

Yeah, I’m sure that happens… Who was the MGTOW who said he could “smell a woman’s filthy crotch” when he was sitting at an outside table?

The idea that one who doesn’t douche is so foul smelling no one want’s to be in room with her? What The Fuck?

Falconer
8 years ago

NO DO NOT GIVE BABBY SODA

I had to scrape my jaw off the floor after looking at that Jade East ad.

Gah the Ivory soap ad. ::shudders::

Howsabout some brain bleach?

katz
8 years ago

Aww!

Falconer
8 years ago

Did the Microsheen shoe polish ads run in Playboy or something? They just get worse and worse.

I haven’t seen it yet, but I bet the “your wife will drive home the best reason to have car insurance” ad is in this collection.

Falconer
8 years ago

There’s an ad in there that claims that women’s suffrage would “double the irresponsible vote.”

There’s something wrong with the math there, but I can’t quite put my finger on it….

Falconer
8 years ago

And it’s a “best reason for owning a Volkswagen,” and yep, there it is.

I’m going to stop now.

Falconer
8 years ago

katz: Ain’t they just the most adorable there ever was?

I am smote.

cloudiah
8 years ago

Falconer, they’re still cute! 🙂

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Yeah my mother keeps going “what?!” at these ads, so before her time I guess.

Falconer — I end up squee’ing TWIIINNS every time you post a pic of your little ones. Ten little fingers, twice!

Besides that our weather has settled into the 50s, I’ve nothing useful to add.

Falconer
8 years ago

Twenty little toes!

Two great big heads! I must be picking them up wrong because I think I’ve strained my left thumb.

It was almost 80 here yesterday evening, and in the high 60s overnight. We left most of our windows open except in the bedroom, so as not to risk chilling the babies.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

We had a couple of hot days (over 30) here after Easter, but since then it’s been low to mid twenties, which is very nice indeed. It feels like autumn at last – took long enough!

Nitram
Nitram
8 years ago

Someone may have already pointed this out, but the Lysol douche is not the same formula as the Lysol disinfectant we know and love today. So, as horrid as the ad is, and as unnecessary and potentially harmful douches were and are today, they weren’t actually putting hospital surface disinfectant in women’s vaginas.

That being said, I’ve always found it as ironic and infuriating that all the products developed to “clean us up” are not only harmful, but they completely backfire as it throws off a woman’s ph balance and kills all the bacteria needed to keep everything “fresh” to begin with. Like I’ve always said: I’m a self-cleaning oven.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Four chubby little baby hands! Twice the cute! Idk about your thumb though.

Nitram –” self-cleaning oven” *dies*

katz
8 years ago

Two wee widdle noses. Four teeny tiny ears.

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
8 years ago

@katz – Yeah, I really did.

And autumn is definitely here, it’s dropped into the low-mid teens and nights are cold.

Marie
8 years ago

Those strange ads…I followed the link to the site with a lot of them and one of them said:

Danger! Women’s Suffrage would double the irresponsible vote

And I really couldn’t read it as a way besides either pointing out that 1) more voters would increase the amount of votes or 2) calling the men’s votes irresponsible too, since it’s being doubled. Idk, maybe I’m just nitpicking the phrasing, cuz I’m easily amused.

There’s something wrong with the math there, but I can’t quite put my finger on it….

I see you guys got there before me… XD

Another ad

Keep up with your housework while you keep down with your weight

Sounds like something an mra would right. Well, so does the first one I mentioned, but I had to nitpick the math fail.

@nitram

Like I’ve always said: I’m a self-cleaning oven.

Can I ever steal this if I need to? I like it. 😀